Bound
by Caris August
Summary: Jack Tripper and Janet Wood feel something they've never felt before for each other. But can they work it out? Or will everything come crashing down around them? Will they see that sometimes life takes away great things to make room for something better?
1. The Fast

**I do not own Three's Company, or its characters (I'm not smart enough to come up with such great ideas!) All I own are the suporting characters that I invented, the plot, and of course the story itself. **

Before some true Three's Company fans critisize me for having facts mixed up I'd just like to say that I changed things around _purposefully_. This tale takes place right after the sixth season, so seasons seven and eight have never happened. It is stated in one of the episodes that Jenny, Janet's sister, gave birth to a child, but I have ignored that fact... for reasons you will later understand. Janet's father's name has been changed from Roland to Andrea Castelleni (I thought it sounded more Italian and had a cool ring to it!). And finally, the episode "Janet's Secret" has never happened, because as you might figure out Jack has never met Janet's parents.

Oh, and it might help to say that Janet isn't quite the down-to-earth girl we all remember. I decided to give her a deeper personality and a little bit more history (don't worry it's nothing drastic!). I just want you guys to really connect with her, and if it turns out that that's not the case then I'm sorry... But at least I tried!

Anyways, thanks for reading. I welcome all reviews (and I don't mind your critisism in the slightest... because I know I need it!). Love you all! God bless. 3

- Caris August

Chapter one: The Fast

**Failure is impossible. Or so that's what I'm told. It's a comforting feeling, knowing you can never completely lose when you're trying so hard to win. That even if you become backed up against the wall and find yourself in the worst situation possible you haven't totally blown it. Why? Because, at least you tried. At least you did all that you could to make it work out, sometimes trying is all we can do and the rest is simply out of our hands. So when it doesn't work out, and at the end of the day you walk away beaten, bruised and torn inside there's always the hope and reassurance that at any rate you tried and gave it all you could. Trying cancels out Failure, right? Well in order to prove that it has to happen first. **

**But, what if you're too scared to even attempt? Too frightened at taking the chance of risking everything, because you don't know for sure. What if it doesn't work out and there is no hope or reassurance there's just… failure. What happens then when you're too afraid to try? **

_::_

Janet rushed out of the kitchen at the sound of someone knocking outside the front door. She pranced into the living room merrily, she always pranced when she was in a good mood, in other words Janet pranced a lot.

"Just a second!" she called as she approached the entrance way and turned the knob, then she swung the door open with a smile. However that smile dropped ever so slightly when the door revealed their houseguest, well not their houseguest, it was more like Jack's. Actually it wasn't even a houseguest; it was just another one of his 'goddesses'. "Hello, can I help you?" she asked as politely as she could muster.

The girl stood in the doorway with a puzzled expression, her green eyes seemed confused. "Umm…" she began and then twisted a finger through her waist length red hair absentmindedly "I'm looking for a man called Jack Tripper, he's my date tonight. But I think I have the wrong house, can you point me in the right direction?"

"No, no, you've got the right place, come in." Janet said as she motioned for her to enter.

The girl looked around the room awkwardly, "you live with Jack? He said he wasn't living with anyone…."

Janet grinned as she got the just of what the girl was trying to say "Well, I'm not living with him in the sense you're referring to, we're just roommates. Strictly platonic. You know, it's easier to pay the rent when you're sharing the apartment. Jack pays a half, I pay a half… and Terri pays a half."

"Terri…?"

"Umm" Janet winced, apparently Jack hadn't gotten around to telling this girl much about him, it didn't surprise her any. He had a different girlfriend each week, in his words: why share more than what was necessary? Janet headed towards Jack's room "I'll just go get him for you."

Janet knocked on his bedroom door, "Jack?" No response. She sighed and slipped into the room, closing the door behind her, "Jack?" Suddenly Jack emerged from his closet on the other side of the bedroom, wearing a new blue and white polo shirt and… his underwear? "Jack!" she yelled as she threw her hands over her eyes, "please, I know you think it's hard, but could you keep your pants ON for once!"

"Janet!" he retorted as he hastily pulled on a pair of black denim pants, "this is _my_ room, I thought it was safe to get dressed in here."

"Well, I just thought it'd be nice to tell you that your date's here" Janet said as she peeked from between her fingers, making sure he had everything on that was at least necessary. She pointed down to his bare feet, "you forgot socks."

"I'm wearing sandals."

"You'll catch a cold."

Jack rolled his eyes as he brushed his hair in the mirror, "it's May, Janet. Plus we're having a heat wave right now, which explains why, the thermometer, or as Chrissie used to call it: the "weather wizard", is on 91°"

"Well, a cold is always a possibility. Twenty percent of you're body heat is lost through your feet you know."

"Of course, whatever you say my Little Encyclopaedia", he grinned.

Janet sighed; Jack knew she couldn't stand his nicknames. She watched as he grabbed his jacket from where it had been hanging over the bed post and threw it on, and then he inspected himself critically in the mirror again. "Jack, would you just get out there, she's waiting for you."

"Yes 'Mom' right away", he replied dryly, walking past her to the door.

"Well… have fun."

Jack winked, "Trust me, I will."

Janet felt her mouth pull into a smile before she could stop it, "I'm sure you'll find **some** way to enjoy yourself tonight."

"Janet! You've got a sick mind!" he turned quickly to kiss her cheek and she smiled. He grinned, "This is great and all but I do really have to be somewhere, so now if you'll excuse me…"

She smiled and gave him a shove, "get going already!"

She watched him hurry into the living room and listened as he greeted his date with one of his many compliments, then used one of his classic lines that only came from the mind of Jack Tripper. Janet shook her head slowly, how'd she end up living with such a playboy anyway? Waiting until she heard the slamming door which meant they had departed, she made her way to the kitchen. Usually, Janet only ate when Jack had cooked a meal or if there were some of his leftovers in the fridge. She'd rather not risk getting poisoned from her own cooking, but seeing that there was nothing else, and her stomach's growling could've been heard from the bathroom, she reckoned she could take the chance at least just this once.

_::_

She sighed contentedly at the sight before her. "Well" Janet said proudly to herself, "it isn't exactly a gourmet meal, but it's as close as your going to get with my culinary experience." She dipped her fork into the pot of spaghetti that was resting on one of the stove burners and dished out a helping for herself on a huge plate. Licking her lips impatiently, she carried her supper to the table and plopped into one of the chairs.

She picked up her fork, "and now we see if the last two hours and forty five minutes were worth it…" Suddenly feeling cautious, Janet leaned her head forward and sniffed timidly. "Well, at least it smells like spaghetti, but the big question is, is it edible?" she asked to no one in particular. Finally, she twirled her fork through the pile of pasta and shoved it into her mouth before she could think against it. Janet forced herself to chew slowly, letting her taste buds savour it carefully, and then she swallowed.

"It's… Good!" she exclaimed jubilantly, and then stuffed another mouthful into her face. Now that she knew she was going to survive, she ate ravenously; the entire plate was gone in under two minutes. Janet sighed as she pushed the empty dish away and leaned back in her chair, a big grin plastered on her face. She had cooked food, good food! That was something no one thought possible, wait until Terri found out, and what about Jack! He'd probably die of shock; she had better save some, just so they would actually believe her…

"Speaking of Jack", Janet shifted so she could see the clock clearly, it was almost nine thirty, "he should be back soon." She knew Terri wasn't due home until the next morning, she had gotten a slight promotion at work and now she sometimes had to work night shifts. Janet shuddered, she would have never enjoyed being a nurse, but now that she thought about it she couldn't recall a time her roommate had ever complained about her job. She shook her head, not fully understanding Terri's love for her career.

Just then there was banging at the door. Janet heaved herself to her feet and bounced into the main room, "who is it?" she shouted.

"It's me, open up."

She smiled at the sound of Jack's voice. Janet unlocked the door quickly and threw it open. But her grin turned into a frown when she eyed him up. He looked frustrated, his eyes glared back at her angrily and his usual crooked smile had disappeared. "What happened to you?"

Jack shoved past her into the apartment, "I'd rather not talk about it" he grumbled and slumped on the couch. Janet closed the door and walked behind the sofa, she peered down at him with concern etched on her face. She put her hands on his shoulders, and rubbed until she felt the tension in them ease away.

"Come on Jack" Janet urged, "you know if you don't tell me what's bugging you then it'll bug me and when Terri comes home tomorrow she'll be bugged because we're both bugged… and then Mr. Furley will have to call in an exterminator because this place will be all bugged out!"

He looked up at her, "I love your logic Janet" he said sarcastically. Okay… so apparently Jack wasn't in a joking mood.

She put a hand on his cheek, "please, maybe I can help."

"I doubt it" he said stubbornly, pulling away.

"Try me." She squeezed his shoulders gently.

Sighing, Jack moved over and patted the empty spot next to him. Janet grinned and hoped over the couch, landing beside him. She turned so that she was facing him, "so, what's the problem Mr. Smooth, what did your date do this time?"

Jack flashed her favourite crooked smile even if it was a rather small one, and shifted so that he could put his arm over the top of her side of the sofa but his eyes still held that frustrated glare, "_she_ didn't do anything, she was a perfect lady."

"I see" Janet replied thoughtfully, "so what did you do then?"

"Nothing, I was my normal self."

"You call being yourself 'nothing'?"

"Hey" Jack poked her, "that's not the problem."

"Well then what is?"

He looked away for a second and she could tell he was thinking about how to answer her, and then he glanced down, letting out a breath, "Honestly, I have no idea Janet. I mean for the last few months I've been feeling… nothing. Don't look at me that way, I'm not mental. It's just, well when I go out on dates usually I feel so… great and lately I can't feel anything. It's like there's a glass wall around me, I can still look out, but no emotions can get in, I know it sounds stupid."

Janet gazed at Jack, slightly taken aback, he couldn't feel anything? What did he mean? Then she smiled, understanding quickly dawning on her, "Jack, it's not stupid. I think I know what's going on."

"What?" he asked.

"You" she said, pointing at him, "need a break."

"From what?"

Janet was grinning now, "From girls, from dating, from….. you know what I mean. How can you feel anything for a woman when you're seeing four different ones each month? You've got to take it easy, listen Jack you're not Larry- thank goodness for that- you're not completely insensitive and your mind's telling you, you need to slow down. Correct me if I sound corny, but Jack Tripper I believe your heart has met its match. It just can't take anymore."

He looked back at her; a thoughtful expression took over his face. "Janet that might've just been the…** stupidest** thing you've ever said."

"Thank you… wait, what?"

"Janet," Jack told her, "it's me. Maybe I'm not exactly another Larry, but I'm definitely not losing my touch. Really, after seven years I thought you'd know me a little better than that!"

She laughed and put a hand on his knee, "I didn't say you were losing your touch Jack, I just said that you need a break."

"Alright then, if that's what you think, prove it." Jack crossed his arms, he glared at her smugly. How could she possibly prove that he 'needed a break'?

Janet peered at him and huffed, "If you want proof then look back at the last couple weeks. All your dates were set up by Larry; you've never actually asked a girl out on your own in what seems like forever, even that date tonight was all thanks to Larry the Lovebird. And you've hardly ever made a single move on Terri for ages, I thought maybe you were being more mature, but that's unreasonable, because we both know that's never going to happen." She watched him ponder her words, hoping what she was trying to tell him was getting through that thick head of his. Suddenly his expression seemed completely disgusted, she grinned, he got the message.

"What's happening to me?" Jack exclaimed, quickly rising to his feet, he paced back and forth across the carpet. She could almost see the wheels turning in his head as he thought. "You're right! Something's wrong with me. Don't look so smug Janet, this is horrible. But I don't understand I've always been like this before, what's changed now that's made me feel so different?" He spun around, grabbed her arms, and shook her violently; Janet could feel her brain rattle in her head. "Janet! You've got to fix me! Help me!"

"Jack! Stop hollering you're gonna wake up Mr. Furley!" she shouted, twisting out of his grip. Janet had no idea he'd react like this. She placed her hands on his arms and directed him back to the couch. She struggled to push him into a sitting position. "Now listen" Janet put her hands on her hips, and taking control, "you can do one of two things: follow my advice that I'm about to give you, or you can go talk to Larry or something and with his help you'll probably be doomed for the rest of your life."

Jack glanced up at her and took a deep breath, "Ok. What's your advice?"

Janet sat back down beside him, "Well, I'd say that the reason why you haven't been acting like such a 'lady's man' lately is because you've unconsciously gotten tired of it. So, to me the only rational 'cure' is to stop being one." She noted his confused expression before continuing, "My advice is that you should try not to go on a date for one month, be a normal person… well at least try to be a normal person. Then after you've taken a break maybe you'll feel more like your normal self."

"Let me get this straight..." he said, "you want me to not go on a date or go anywhere with any girl for a whole month?"

"Well Terri and I are an exception, we _do_ live here. And plus we don't really count as-"

"A _whole_ month?"

"Yes, and maybe if you could-"

"A WHOLE MONTH?"

"Yes, Jack! A whole Month!" she snapped.

"Next to your advice talking to Larry and 'being doomed forever' doesn't seem that bad, it's actually tempting…" he started to stand and turn towards the door.

Janet yanked him back down beside her and gave him one of her classic stares. "A month is not that long", she replied, "and if it works out in the end then you'll be thanking me."

"'**If' **it works out? What do you mean **'if'**?"

"_When_ it works out", she corrected, rolling her eyes, "Just try it Jack, please. Terri and I will help as much as we can, it'll be easier than you think."

Jack glared at her, "Terri? No, you're not telling Terri about this, this is private Janet! You're lucky you even found out, and if I had known you'd want me to quit girls for a month then I wouldn't have told you at all. This is between me and you now, that's it!

"So you're saying you'll do it?" she asked.

"No, I didn't say that."

"Oh Jack! Please!" Janet threw her arms around his neck, "it'll work I promise, Terri doesn't have to know if you don't want her to." She kissed his cheek, "please, please, please!"

Jack grimaced, "Janet, flirting is not going to break me. Remember? I can't feel anything."

But she grinned and kissed his cheek again, "please? Come on, you can do it….it's no big deal." She pecked his other cheek, "and then you'll be back to your normal self in no time." Janet leaned forward and blew in his ear. "Please?"

"Janet!" Jack complained, "Stop it."

She kept blowing until Jack finally pushed her away, then she stuck her bottom lip out into a pout. "Janet I-", Jack started, "I don't want-…." Finally he sighed, "Oh fine. I'll try, I'm not promising anything though"

"Yes!" this time she threw her arms around him into a hug.

He sighed again, "What can I say; I'm weak when it comes to persuasion."

Janet leaned back, "But I'm serious Jack, I'll help you any way that I can."

"_Any_ way that you can?" he asked mischievously, his blue eyes twinkling again.

"Oh! Jack!" she swatted his arm playful, "get your head out of the gutter."

Jack grinned at her and then pulled himself to his feet, "maybe it won't be as bad as I think; just one month, besides if it breathes life back into the old Jack Tripper then it'll be worth it in the end, right? I'll be the lady's man again in no time." Janet nodded, and he turned his attention to his watch. "It's almost eleven, not overly late at night, but I feel booked."

"Bedtime for Jack?" she asked teasingly.

He yawned, "I think so. What about you?"

Janet rose up from the sofa, "I'm going to call it a night, I have work tomorrow and I hate being tired while I'm on the job." She stretched out her arms and sauntered towards her bedroom door; she took a step into her room then stopped and turned around, "Hey Jack?" she called timidly.

He glanced over at her, "yeah?"

"Goodnight."

He smiled, "'Night Janet."

She closed the door behind her and crawled over Terri's bed to her own. Throwing back the blankets she collapsed on her pillow, but sleep didn't come no matter how tired she felt. Janet glanced up at the ceiling, thinking. Jack seemed pretty sincere when he told her he hadn't been feeling anything lately. She sighed and shifted so that she was lying on her side. She wondered if Jack would be back to normal after a month, she had told him that, but there was no possible way to know for sure. Janet closed her eyes, she would have to help out, somehow keep Jack busy from thinking of girls…she groaned… this was going to be impossible! But for some reason the idea of Terri not being in on their little plan pleased Janet. She was the only one Jack trusted enough to tell his problem to, and that made her some what content and even more determined to help him. For the next month, she had Jack all to herself.

_::_

_I am left with an empty feeling. _

_**~ Shaun Edwards **_


	2. The Crush?

Chapter two: The Crush?

_Being sick, _

_Just stinks! _

_::_

Janet groaned as she rolled out of bed the next morning, she felt horrible. Maybe she had screwed up that spaghetti after all, and was now suffering the consequences. Not bothering to make her bed, which was usually a standard procedure, she dragged her feet out the door and into the living room. Janet was planning on at least making it to the kitchen for an Advil and a glass of water, but decided the couch looked inviting enough and tumbled onto it with a groan.

"I feel like I belong in a coffin," she sighed and grabbed the flicker from the coffee table. There was absolutely no way she would be able to make it to work this morning. Flicking through the few channels they had, Janet settled on an old John Wayne film, not so that it would keep her interest, but maybe if she was lucky it would put her back to sleep.

Her eyes were just starting to droop closed when a huge bang sounded from the kitchen followed shortly by a string of curses. Janet bolted into a sitting position wide eyed as Jack came crashing out of the kitchen door. He was sucking on one finger while holding his right foot with and bouncing up and down on his other leg. "Owe, owe, owe, owe!" He hopped over to the couch, and Janet barely moved her legs out of the way before Jack collapsed beside her muttering in-understandable words under his breath.

Janet scouted closer, sickness forgotten, and glanced at his foot which was now turning a bright shade of red, and if it looked like it felt, then no wonder Jack was giving off little shouts of pain. "What happened?" she demanded.

Jack winced, "I burned my finger on a pot and dropped it on my foot… unfortunately along with all the boiling water that was inside."

"Jack!" she cried, "what did you do that for?"

He glared at her, "I didn't do it on purpose Janet! How stupid do you think I am?"

"You don't want me to answer that…" she muttered as she reached her hand out and tenderly touched his foot, Jack shimmied away at her touch, "ouch" he yelped.

"Sorry Hon, wait a second and I'll go get some ice" Janet told him, pulling herself to her feet, and then got a reminder of her own condition as a wave of dizziness overwhelmed her; she plopped back down on the couch, "on second thought maybe you should go get your own ice."

Jack looked over at her, a slightly irritated expression on his face, "yeah, right if you're too tired from sleeping then I suppose I could drag myself all the way to the refrigerator on my own. After all, it's just a severe injury, no big deal."

"No, listen Jack" Janet cringed as a sharp pain racked her brain, she rubbed her throbbing head before continuing, "I feel terrible, I think I'm coming down with something. You know I'd get you whatever you need, but I'm dizzy. Honestly, I don't think I'd even make it to the kitchen."

She felt him place his cool hand across her forehead, "gee, Janet you feel like you've been sitting next to a wood stove for the past twelve hours, you're really burning up. Do you think it's something you ate?"

Janet winced, "well… funny you should bring up food…"

Jack searched her face, "You cooked, didn't you." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

"…just a little." She admitted reluctantly.

He sighed, "Janet…"

"There wasn't anything else left to eat last night! Besides, a little food never hurt anyone."

"Yeah, but whoever came up with that obviously hasn't met you." Jack stood to his feet, or rather his foot, and started to hobble towards the kitchen door. "I'll go get the ice for my foot and the thermometer for you while I'm at it."

"You sure you can make it?"

"I'll manage" he told her dryly, pushed open the swinging door and disappeared on the other side. He returned two minutes later, everything in hand and took up his spot next to her again. "Here" Jack said as he popped the thermometer into her mouth, "under your tongue." Janet nodded, watching as he unloaded everything from his hands. A box of tissues he placed on the table, as well as two pills and a cup of water, ice for his foot and some gauze and cream to wrap it up afterward. He put an empty bucket at the foot of the couch, and she peered at it questionably. "If your stomach decides it wants to act up" he informed.

Janet grimaced at the thought.

"Okay, times up" Jack told her and plucked the thermometer from between her lips. He examined it carefully.

"Well….?" She asked.

He sighed, "You've definitely got something, your temperature's almost a hundred." Placing the thermometer down, he picked up one of the Advil's and handed it to her along with the water, "humour me and take this."

She swallowed it without question, and gave Jack the glass. He grabbed the other pill and downed it with the other half of the water to take away some of the pain from his burn, then put the drained cup back onto the coffee table. "Now to deal with my foot."

Janet motioned for him to put his injured leg in her lap. "Here, let me dress it for you." He placed the gauze and cream into her out stretched hand and moved so that he was lying across the couch, his foot propped on her legs. She squeezed the ointment into her palm and rubbed it over the reddest spots of his foot. She tried to be as gentle as possible, but he still winced at her touch. "Sorry Jack, almost done", Janet ripped off a piece of the gauze and wrapped it around his injury, she tucked the end in so it wouldn't come undone. She inspected her handy work, "there that should do for now, but let Terri check it when she comes home."

She glanced over at Jack, and found him staring back at her, grinning. "What did I miss?" she asked.

"Nothing, it's just we live with a nurse Janet. And we always injure ourselves when she's not here and we're alone. Isn't that a little ironic?" he asked. Jack moved over, and patted the space next to him.

Janet chuckled and laid down beside him, too tired to object, she looked up at the ceiling, "Yeah I guess it's a bit ironic. But we're not alone; at least we've got each other, right?"

"Right" he agreed softly. Janet felt his gaze on her and turned so she could look at him. She found their faces only inches apart. Her stomach squirmed uncomfortably as she looked into his eyes, and it wasn't from the food poisoning. _It's just Jack_ she assured herself, _just Jack_. "So" she spoke hoarsely, and cleared her throat "no girls for a month, that's still the plan right?"

"That's the deal", he said smiling.

Janet poked his ribs teasingly, "you seem pretty confident about it."

Jack's gaze suddenly turned serious, "I'm not confident, I want this to work Janet, I need this to work. I want to feel something other than feeling nothing, because feeling nothing is like feeling something that's suddenly not there."

"Now you're starting to sound like Chrissy." She smirked, and then let it dissipate; she put a hand on his cheek. "Stop worrying Jack, it'll work. Like I told you last night, you just need a break, a change. Give yourself time. You'll pull around, you always do."

Jack looked at her, searched her face, "I hope you're right."

Janet gave him a reassuring smile, sliding her hand away from his cheek. She kept feeling more and more uncomfortable lying there next to him, but she didn't move, couldn't even if she wanted to, she was frozen in place. Her heart was picking up speed. Suddenly, it was thumbing so loud Janet swore Jack would have to be death not to hear it; it pounded against her ear drums making it impossible for her to think straight. What was wrong with her? Jack looked at her intently; he reached out and fingered a piece of her stray black hair, then wrapped it behind her ear. Janet blushed as she felt a thousand butterflies erupt in her stomach from his touch. _Stop this_, she told herself _it's just Jack, what's wrong with you?_

"When do you think Terri will be home from work?" he asked. She almost missed his question as she tried to control the strange feelings that were bursting out inside her. She just shrugged, not quite able to get her voice working. "Well, I hope she comes back soon, if she doesn't what will we eat?" he asked, "I can't cook, standing on my foot will just make it worse, and you can't get up without feeling dizzy. Want to order pizza; we can eat it on the sofa?"

"I'm not that hungry" Janet croaked out, relieved her words had returned. She pushed the feelings into the back of her mind, not sure where they had come from in the first place. She was probably just over tired.

Jack eyed her, seeing the worried look on her face, "how are you feeling? Is the Advil kicking in yet?" he said placing his hand on her arm.

_I don't know, but something's kicking in_ she uttered inwardly as her innards did more flips at his touch_. _"Not yet… maybe I should get some more sleep." Janet suggested, needing to get away from Jack and whatever reaction he was suddenly having on her. She shrugged his hand off her arm.

"You don't have to get up" he told her, moving into a sitting position, "You can sleep here on the sofa. Besides you can't walk to the bedroom and, frankly I don't want to carry you, might as well stay put." He grinned, his crooked smile setting her somewhat at ease, but not nearly entirely.

"I don't know." She said softly. And she really didn't, but her mind seemed to make up her decision for her as she found herself settling back down on the couch again.

"Here" Jack said, shifting so her head was resting in his lap. Janet sighed, trying to let herself relax. She didn't know what had just happened a moment ago when Jack had been lying next to her. It was like an electric shock had flown through her body, and made her feel suddenly so uneasy. She'd never felt that way around him, it was almost like she was being drawn towards him, like a gravitational pull. Janet had felt tense while being close to Jack before, it came from the simple fact that he was a guy and she was a girl, but that was natural, something that Chrissy, Cindy and Terri had all felt too at some point. After all it was two women and a man sharing an apartment, there were bound to be awkward moments with that arrangement at some point. But never like this.

Jack was one of her best friends, but in that moment he was something more, in that moment he had belonged completely to her, no one else. He was _her _Jack. For a second her mind had surrendered completely to some unknown feeling that had taken over her body, made her lose all sense of control. It had made her pulse race drastically as her heart, one of her most guarded possessions, had thrown open the curtains she had covering it and let its emotions run wildly threw her. And the part that frightened her the most was that Janet let it take over her, had even welcomed it. She'd put aside everything else, and if only for a short piece of time she'd found herself with incomprehensible feelings for Jack.

In one minute she'd felt something deep and chilling, something that she'd never felt for anyone else. And if Jack had taken that particular time to make any sort of move on her, even just jokingly, Janet knew that she wouldn't have resisted. She would've fought, but she wouldn't have won, and he could've broken her completely, and quite easily too. If he had kissed her, well, she didn't even want to think about that.

Janet felt like she had just been sentenced to the worse crime possible, wanting something she couldn't have. She couldn't have Jack, never ever would that happen; because of their rule he could never be hers. The number one rule that had allowed him into her life in the first place seven years earlier, there could never be anything between either one of the roommates. Mainly to spare the third roommate the awkward position of being caught in the middle but also to save the other two from entering into a world of hurt, because that was what love was, incurable, indescribable pain. It tormented and teased you one moment and the next it contented and pleased you. Blinding, love was one of the only things Janet knew she couldn't handle, and she had just unknowingly submitted herself to it. _No you haven't_ Janet told herself harshly, _you are not in love with Jack, there was a spark, but sparks don't always have to start a fire. You're tired, not to mention sick and your hormones are probably just way off balance. _

But as much as she was willing to accept such a simple conclusion for her racing heart, she knew deep down it wasn't true. It didn't matter anyway though, because there was still the fact that Jack didn't feel the same for her. When he could have a date with one of the most gorgeous blonds in Santa Monica, but was here in the apartment because he felt empty, nothing inside his heart, how could he ever feel anything for her, plain old reliable Janet? No. Jack hadn't felt that spark between them when they were lying side by side a minute ago. Did he?

Janet was suddenly pulled out of her thoughts as she felt Jack's hand on her shoulder, he couldn't see her eyes so he couldn't tell if she was still awake or not. "Jan," he whispered, "you asleep?"

"Yes." She said, smiling, letting those complicated thoughts fall out of her mind.

Her head in his lap, she felt him chuckle at her response. Chills ran down her spine, but she forced them away. "I was just wondering" he said, "what kind of food did you attempt to create last night that made you feel so awful?"

This time it was Janet's turn to chuckle, "let's just say that I ruined spaghetti for myself, and will probably never touch another plate with a meatball on it in my life." She told him.

"That bad?" he asked.

"Yeah" she sighed as another pain flashed through her abdomen, although it was fainter than before as the Advil started to work its magic. "I just don't understand, it tasted like spaghetti, I followed the recipe perfectly. It even smelled like spaghetti!"

She looked up at him as he pondered her words thoughtfully. His blue eyes were glazed as he thought, Janet gazed at them. She knew those eyes so well, could read almost every emotion that flashed through them, seven years of experience, no wonder he was always complaining about her reading his mind…

"How'd you cook the meatballs?"

"Huh?" She had forgotten the topic of conversation, "How'd I what?"

"Janet, how did you cook the meatballs for the spaghetti?" he asked again.

She sat in silence for a second, puzzled. "Oh" she said, remembering what they had been talking about "well, I cooked them in the microwave."

"You what?"

"You know" she explained, "the microwave, where Terri cooks the hotdogs. Honestly Jack, you practically live in the kitchen, you should know."

Jack sighed, "I know where it is Janet… and you don't cook meatballs in the microwave."

"You don't?" she responded wide eyed. No wonder she had food poisoning, she ate raw meat.

Jack rolled his eyes, "I think we now know where you went wrong."

Janet blushed, "they did look a little red…" she admitted sheepishly.

Jack laughed, and it warmed her. Smiling slightly, she ran a hand through her hair. "At least now I know. And trust me, I'll never cook again, I've learned my lesson." She promised, placing her hand over her heart in mock seriousness.

"Yeah, you learned it the hard way." Jack told her, poking her stomach. A soft groan produced from her lips as another pain rushed through where he had just jabbed her with his finger, "ouch", she moaned, "Jack, that's where it really hurts."

"Sorry" he apologized. He looked down at her and smiled, "now that we solved the mystery of what made you ill, you should get some rest to make it go away."

Janet shifted so she was lying sideways again, her head still resting on his legs. "I agree" she yawned, letting her eyes close. She felt Jack rub her back softly. Janet sighed contentedly, she didn't know what exactly had taken place before, maybe she had feelings for Jack, and maybe she didn't. Who knew? She certainly didn't know, but right then and there she didn't want to. Lying there, head in his lap, his fingers massaging her back gently, all Janet knew was how perfect this moment was, minus the food poisoning and Jack's burnt foot. This felt right, she felt like this was where she wanted to stay forever, here in apartment 201 with Terri and Jack. At this moment life was never sweeter, and she knew someday she would have to face her feelings, her heart, but for now Janet was completely content with how things were. And with that solved her mind began to shut down as she fell into the dark, calm realms of sleep, with Jack right where he should be: by her side.

_::_

The apartment was peacefully quiet, something that Jack had never seen happen very often. Like a hush had fallen over the crowd, the room was silent, the only noise was Janet's soft breathing as she slept untroubled next to him on the sofa. Hopefully the rest she was getting would help her food poison pass; he hated to see her in such a helpless state. There was hardly ever a time that he could call Janet helpless, and when he could it felt completely out of place. During those times, the Janet Jack knew disappeared as her usual down to earth and witty personality was suddenly ripped away; when she wasn't in control of a situation she became quickly frightened. It had taken Jack a long time to finally figure her out, and just when he thought he understood Janet she'd always make him second-guess what he thought he knew. The problem, he had finally come to realize was that Janet couldn't trust. The thought of putting her faith into and believing in someone terrified her. Because Jack knew she was also smart enough to realize that sometimes the people you trust the most are the ones who end up hurting you to the highest degree. So Janet's simple philosophy of life was "count on no one but yourself, or else end up disappointed".

Jack also knew that Janet had trouble trusting even her own self at times. And that was why he found her often ignoring matters of the heart, because to her, her heart was a thing that just couldn't be trusted. Sure, Janet looked well on the outside, she could play the part of a perfectly contented girl to absolute perfection, but on the inside Jack knew better. Mentally and emotionally, Janet was the most complex person he had ever met, over the past seven years Jack had only gotten the chance to view little glimpses of Janet's heart, and that was more than even some of her closest family members could say. Because of how she guarded herself Janet had always struck Jack as a mystery, her eyes constantly held a look that seemed to say you-can-look-but-you-can't-touch, and that just intrigued him all the more.

His friendship with Janet had taken a lot of time and effort to construct to the thing it was now. They had been through more than he had ever thought possible. There had been Chrissy, Cindy and now Terri, each of them wonderful people, but in the end it always ended up back to him and Janet, for some unknown reason she had let him worm his way into her life and he was forever thankful. There would never be another person who would ever come close to Janet, when he contemplated it she was his best friend. He was able to trust her with anything, any problem; that was why he was capable of telling her of how he'd been feeling lately, about feeling nothing. He knew she'd do everything in her power to help him, and what was more was that Janet trusted him too. That fact constantly pleased him, and would never cease to do so. The girl whose way of life had always been to never trust anyone had somehow managed to trust him, of all people. His gratefulness for that went beyond measure, Jack didn't take it lightly, and he sincerely hoped Janet realized that.

Jack glanced at his watch, it was almost noon, and Janet had been sleeping for an hour and twenty minutes without stirring once. Not that he minded being used as a human pillow, but his legs were beginning to fall asleep. He started to move, but stopped, his gaze locking onto her sleeping form. Asleep, Janet reminded him of an innocent child, her defensiveness gone. Her eyes occasionally flickering beneath closed lids as she dreamed; she was curled up on the couch with her head in his lap. Jack remained motionless as he watched her. He'd never really noticed it much before, but Janet was beautiful. Her raven coloured hair hung to the middle of her neck, she was petite and, Jack noticed with a grin, that her facial features were somewhat pixyish, small nose and ears, full lips and- if they weren't closed- huge rich brown eyes. Janet's eyelashes were thick and dense, her cheeks flushed, and the rest of her skin had a natural, slightly pale appearance.

Jack sat there, mesmerized. For a moment, the nothingness that had been in his heart for months melted away, replaced by some unknown source of happiness that coursed through him. Reaching out, Jack ran his fingers along Janet's jaw line, feeling the soft texture of her skin against his. _What am I doing?_ He asked himself in disbelief, but somehow he was unable to remove his hand from her cheek.

His mind wandered back to when they were lying next to each other earlier, she had placed her hand on his cheek just like he was doing now. Her eyes had pierced his, and it was one of those rare occasions when he felt that the walls she had placed so carefully around her heart were faltering. For a moment, just one little moment, Jack had wanted to do nothing else but pull Janet closer, pull her in and touch her lips with his own. Something he had never felt before.

Recollecting himself, Jack sighed, taking his hand off Janet's cheek. And almost at once his heart returned to its normal bleak self as the nothingness nestled back into place again. His pulse found its natural pace. This was crazy; he had never felt like that around Janet before. It was like his heart had turned his mind to ice, so it could be the only thing he would listen to. Jack watched the gentle rise and fall of her body as Janet breathed slowly; she dreamed on peacefully, completely oblivious. Taking a deep breath of his own, Jack let it out between his teeth.

"No." he said loudly and winced as Janet fidgeted at the sound of his voice; she moaned and shifted slightly, still asleep. "No." Jack whispered, keeping his tone down this time. No, there was absolutely no way he was going to let himself feel anything for Janet. It had never happened before, so it wouldn't happen now, he'd make sure of it. If she found out about this then she'd be gone, he understood Janet well enough to know that. After all there was the house rule, and Janet was the one who had created it in the first place. She'd panic and walk out of his life just like that if she knew what he'd been feeling. Oh, sure she'd still be there for him when he needed her, but her trust, her trust she'd given to him, the thing he worked so hard to achieve would disappear. And Jack could never risk losing her like that, he needed her too much. He had gained her trust, and he planned to keep it, no matter what. He would not fall in love with Janet, because he already loved her too much to try.

Suddenly the front door swung open, Jack looked up to see Terri make her way into the apartment. She dragged her feet behind her as she slammed the door closed, not even bothering to hang up her jacket, she just shrugged it off and let it slump into a pile on the floor. Turning, Terri noticed Jack on the couch, she sighed dramatically, making him grin as his troubles with Janet were forgotten, at least for now.

"Hard day?" he asked.

She put her hand on her forehead, "Ha" She scoffed, "More like a hard night. I've been working for sixteen hours straight! Do you have any idea how that feels?"

Jack eyed her, she looked completely wiped out, and that was saying something because Terri hardly ever had a loss of energy. "Wow, sixteen hours without any sleep, that's ruff."

"Well, sixteen hours if you don't count that hour I tried to sleep standing up." She told him, "I was scheduled for an eight hour shift, but in the middle of the night there was a bus accident down town, and we were the closest hospital so most of the injured came there. It was chaos all night, and all the employees had to stay."

"A bus accident? That's awful, was anyone killed?" he asked, there were car crashes all the time in Santa Monica, but bus accidents were rare. Jack knew how many people rode by bus, he had done it enough, and so the amount of people involved hurt his mind just trying to think about it.

Terri shook her head, "Thankfully, no. But two people, the bus driver and a front seat passenger are in critical condition, one might be brain-dead, we're not totally positive though." She took a deep breath, "I am so tired."

"Well then get some sleep, you deserve it." He told her. She nodded, but didn't head into her bedroom right away.

"I'm just going to sit down for a second first", Terri walked towards the chair over on the left side of the room, but as she circled the couch her gaze came in view of Janet, sleeping soundlessly beside Jack, head in his lap. Terry's eyes flickered between Jack and Janet, before finally settling on Jack. Hands on her hips, she raised an eyebrow at him, smiling. "Well", she said curtly, "looks like I wasn't the only one who's been busy lately."

Jack rolled his eyes at her crude remark, "come off it Terri, you know I'd never try anything with Janet."

"I do?"

"Yes, you do", he told her. "She doesn't feel good, tried to cook spaghetti last night and, well, failed miserably. Get this, Janet thought meatballs were cooked in the microwave. I think she has food poisoning, her stomach's been bothering her and she has a temperature."

Terri leaned forward, putting her hand on Janet's forehead, "did you give her anything?"

"An Advil, she said her head hurt too."

"You're probably right about the food poisoning, it should pass quickly though. Gosh, that girls an awful cook." Terri said, leaning back into her chair. "Once she made me French toast for breakfast" she shuddered, "after eating that, I'll never be the same again, not that I'm any better at cooking than her though."

Jack grinned, "Good thing I'm around."

Terri eyed him carefully, "just one thing, what has all of this got to do with Janet sleeping, head resting on your legs and you sitting there stroking her hair? Did I miss something?"

Jack pulled his hand away, completely oblivious that he had been running his fingers through Janet's dark hair. He felt his cheeks turn red. "Nothing happened Terri, honest." He eased his leg up to show Terri the bandage wrapped around his foot, "Janet was dizzy, and I couldn't help her to her room because I burned my foot on water from a pot that I dropped. Long story. So we were both confined to the sofa. See? Totally innocent."

"Alright, alright, I'll stop my pestering, but just so you know I will be questioning Janet when she's feeling better." Terri said, and then her face turned serious. She shifted in her seat and smiled softly, "I see the way you look at her, Jack. I'm not blind."

Jack stared back at her, "well apparently I am, because I have no idea of what you're talking about."

Terri chuckled, "I think you do." She told him, and before he could retort she pulled herself to her feet.

She walked over to Janet, and shook her shoulder gently. Janet grimaced as she was shaken out of sleep, and reached up lazily to push Terri's hands away. "Janet" Terri whispered into her friend's ear, "come on, I'll help you get back into your bed so you're not stuck on the couch."

"S'okay" Janet mumbled, still half asleep as she placed her head back onto Jack's lap, "I like it here."

Terri sighed, grabbing her and hauling her to her feet, "come on Janet, let's go." Janet pried her eyes opened and looked around blurrily; she moaned and put her hand on her stomach.

"Still hurts?" Jack asked, she nodded in response as Terri guided her to the girl's bedroom. "Get some rest Sweetheart." He called as she disappeared through the doorway. Terri turned to close the door behind her, "oh Jack, you should call Janet's boss and tell her why she never showed up for work this morning."

"Will do"

Terri looked at him, "and Jack… 'Sweetheart'?" she asked, referring to how he had referred to Janet, "Really?"

He sighed, "Go to sleep Terri."

She winked and closed the door shut behind her with a grin. Leaving a jumbled up Jack alone and completely confounded as his emotions battled and raged within him.

_::_

_Here I am, _

_Wanting to hold you._


	3. A Friend In Need

**Hey, its me! This chapter gets me super excited because this is when the plot actually starts to take root. Hope you enjoy! :D **

**- C.A **

Chapter three: A Friend In Need

_The Heart has its reasons, _

_That Reason knows nothing about. _

_**~ Blaise Pascal **_

When Janet finally pulled around to consciousness again the sun was shining brightly through her bedroom window. She sighed contentedly, the aching in her stomach had disappeared and the pounding in her head was now gone. Turning to inspect the clock she gasped at the time, it was ten fifteen in the morning, which meant it was ten fifteen of the next day! She thought it had only been a couple hours, when really she had slept for what was more like twenty four. Janet bounced onto her feet feeling suddenly as light as a feather, apparently the sleep had paid off; she had enough energy to run around the earth and back. Making her bed hurriedly, she rushed out into the living room. Janet inhaled deeply; the smell of breakfast being cooked made her mouth water as her insides growled, very ready to be fed.

Bursting into the kitchen, her gaze caught on Jack as he flipped an egg in the frying pan. Janet padded over behind him, trying to peer over his shoulder at the food on the stove, but her short stature didn't allow her to see much. Sighing, she repositioned herself so she was standing next to him, offering a much better view of toast, sausages, and eggs all cooking to golden brown perfection. Jack glanced over at her as he noticed her presence. "Good morning You," he greeted, "did my long lost roommate finally decided to pull herself out of bed?"

Janet nodded with a grin.

She felt him look her up and down. "You look better," he told her, observing that her bubbly personality had returned and her eyes were twinkling again.

She made her way to the fridge and hauled out the orange juice. "I feel better, actually I feel great," she informed as she poured herself a glace and took up a seat at the table.

"That's always a good sign." He smiled. Jack dished out the food, and set down across from Janet as he passed her, her plate.

Janet picked up her fork, cutting one of the sausages in half. "I love that I don't even have to bother telling you what I want to eat, you just know."

"I know you," he pointed out simply; his gaze locked onto hers, "and I know a lot more than your favourite food" he told her, as proof of this, Jack began a whole list of things, "I know that you hate rock and roll. I know you love to wake up late on Saturday mornings. I know you're in love with Humphrey Bogart movies. You get mad when someone forgets to screw the cap back on the toothpaste. When no one's home you like to talk to your flowers. I know you like to wash your hair on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Friday nights. You hate bowling, but still go because you don't want to let down Terri. I know you've read the book 'Journey to the Center of the Earth' about eleven times. And I know you'd never tell me but you hate that plaid coat I wear on special occasions," he told her grinning, and then Jack glanced down as he stopped smiling. When his eyes found her face again he had turned dead serious, causing Janet to shift in her seat, Jack Tripper was never serious.

He slid his hand overtop of hers on the table, and continued softly "I know you like to be in control and when you're not you're petrified. You'd never admit it but you're still mad at Chrissie for leaving us so unexpectedly, but yet you take the time to write to her each week. You hate that your hair's black and not blond. I know you'd rather deal with someone's hate than someone's pity. And you hate that you trust me because I'm unpredictable and scare you to death, but nevertheless you trust me anyway and have no idea why."

Janet felt him stroke her hand with his thumb as he said that last mouthful. Tingles made their way through her body, as his eyes remained fixed on hers. The thing that made what he had said so hard to believe was that it was all true, every single bit of it. Jack knew her perfectly, he was in tune with her every expression, could foretell how she would react to each situation. In ways he knew more things about her than she even did. And he was so right, she hated that she trusted him, not because of anything he'd done, but because he was the only one she'd ever trusted. She could count on him with her life, Janet could let him take her anywhere or talk her into anything and that terrified her.

Sighing, she pulled her hand out of his, Janet was not in any way ready to deal with the feelings and jitters she had been experiencing lately just yet so she buried them deep down as the walls went up around her heart. She knew ignorance wouldn't last forever, but she planned to stretch it as far as possible. "You are so confusing," she teased him with a smile, "just when I thought I had you all figured out you go and say something sensitive like that." Janet reached out to squeeze his arm affectionately, "but thank you. You're right Jack you know me better than anyone else; sometimes I think you understand me better than I do. I love you, you're a great friend." Making as much emphasize on the word "friend" as possible.

Jack could take a hint, she watched him search her face as she tried to keep it as composed as possible. But he leaned back after a while and smiled, knowing she didn't want to discuss this anymore he motioned to their plates. "Food's getting cold," he said simply.

Janet grinned, he really did know her well. "Let's eat," she said contentedly. And they did.

_::_

Hands full of soapy water, Jack reached into the sink and hauled out another plate. He swiped the food off, rinsed the suds away and then passed it over to Janet as she proceeded to wipe it dry. They had finished their breakfast and were cleaning the kitchen. There was a comfortable silence between the two as they washed the dishes. Jack loved that he wasn't forced to make conversation with Janet so a situation wouldn't become strained, they were completely happy to lull the minutes away in each others presence without words. It had been happening more and more as their friendship grew stronger, not because they had run out of things to talk about -that would never happen- but because they just didn't see the need to say anything. Sometimes silence could go deeper than words ever could.

Jack had his mind replaying the conversation they had while eating. He told Janet he knew her better than anyone, and they had both already knew that was true. Sighing, he handed another plate to her waiting hands. But yet when he had said it out loud Jack saw turmoil breakout behind her eyes. Usually he knew how Janet would react to something or at least why she'd react the way she did, but he didn't have a clue why it was so hard for her to comprehend that she trusted him. Did she consider him a threat? Why after all this time did he still scare her? Jack frowned; he still had a lot more to learn about Janet. He might know her better than anyone else, but he wasn't even close to understanding her completely.

Remembering last night, Jack took a sideways glance at her from the corner of his eye. Maybe Janet was awake the whole time, maybe she had felt it when he had stroked her cheek and that was why she had shifted uncomfortably when he grabbed her hand at the table. _No, _he reassured himself, _she was sleeping, I could hear her breathing. No one breaths that slowly unless they're dreaming, or in a coma. She was definitely asleep. _Jack shook his head, what had ever possessed him to stroke her cheek last night anyway? He recalled the feel of her head in his lap and the look of serenity on her face as she dozed. He looked over at her, comparing the sleeping Janet from the other night to the energetic, defensive and very much awake one standing before him now. He smiled, either way it was Janet, his best friend, what did the difference matter? As long as she was here with him, he wouldn't complain.

"What are you thinking of?" her voice broke through his thoughts. Startled, he looked at her.

"Nothing important," Jack shrugged, but not convincing her of that.

Janet rolled her eyes, "yes you are. You've been standing there like that forever, Jack. Don't you know that you can think and wash the dishes at the same time?" she asked.

He had forgotten about washing the dishes. Jack reached down into the sink for another plate but found it empty.

"I did it for you," she told him with a grin, setting the dishcloth on the sideboard. "Figured you should get all the thinking time possible, since this was the first time I've ever seen you make an attempt to use your brain."

At her quirky response Jack reached over and turned on the tap, then flicked the water at her with his fingers. He grinned as she shrieked. "Shouldn't make fun of me Janet, I could accidently slip something into your next meal… how do you feel about cow liver?"

"Its okay," she laughed, taking a handful of water and launching it at his face, but he escaped being drenched by ducking at the last minute, instead the water landed all over the floor. "I always check my meals before you serve them anyway. I don't trust you with my food," she told him smiling.

"Why?"

Janet pulled a face. "Haven't you ever heard the expression 'Never trust a skinny cook'? Well…" she gestured to him, "same applies here. The cook of this household isn't exactly skinny, but he's not exactly muscular either."

Jack growled tauntingly, "For an insult like that you deserve a punishment." Before Janet could respond he rushed over to her and picked her up, slinging her over his shoulder.

"Jack!" she cried, pounding on him playfully with her fists, "put me down!"

"Yeah right," he said sarcastically, tightening his grip on her and walking into the main room. Jack spun around in circles, laughing. He could hear Janet gasp, her breath hot against his back as he twirled around and around. She flailed wildly, unable to break his firm hold. "Jack stop! Put me down, put me down. You're going to make me sick!" she hollered in his ear, but was laughing the whole time.

Jack spun faster, grinning as she shrieked louder. He wondered absentmindedly when he should stop. Now? Or when he became so dizzy that he just collapsed altogether? Her hair tickled his neck. "Janet," he laughed, "stop screaming, someone's going to think I'm committing murder!"

Before she could retort the girls' bedroom door banged open and Terri immerged, hair dishevelled and frowning deeply. Jack stopped spinning, but kept Janet swung over his shoulder, incapable of breaking free. Terri moaned, "Newsflash: sleeping nurse in the next room. What are you two doing?"

"Hey Terri!" Janet greeted, fighting against Jack's grip so she could lean up to look her friend in the eyes. "We'll keep it down."

Terri seemed too tired to even notice the precarious situation Jack was keeping Janet locked in. " Just remember there are actual people in this world who believe in peace and quiet, and I'm one of them."

"Yeah sure, it was Jack's fault."

Jack poked her between the ribs, chiding her. "You're the one who insulted, and I'm just delivering the discipline." He twirled her again for emphasize.

"Well," Janet gasped when the room stopped spinning around her, "I get it. I learned my lesson, now if you'd be so kind as to set me down…"

"I will when I feel like it." He smiled as she shot him her classic glare.

Terri frowned at them, "I'm really not ready to wake up yet, especially to _this_. Good night."

Jack chuckled, "it's twelve in the morning."

"Well then _good morning,_" she sighed, closing the door on them and disappearing on the other side.

Janet glanced at Jack questioningly, "what's wrong with her?"

He shrugged, "had a long shift the other night, she's been sleeping just as long as you have."

"Oh" she said, "well then I can't blame her, I'd hate to work at that hospital." Jack simply nodded, suddenly very aware of her body pressed against his and his hand wrapped securely around her waist, keeping her from falling off his shoulder. Jack moved his head to the side, shifting Janet so he could see her face. The nothingness in his heart washed away when she didn't seem to resist. Jack stared into her eyes, feeling as if those eyes were healing every part of his heart that had been filled with emptiness moments before. Sighing, Janet turned her eyes away from his gaze. "Set me down," she murmured softly. Obeying, Jack placed her back on her feet again, but his hands seemed to linger on her waist a little longer than necessary. Janet noticed, but didn't say anything.

When he let go the emptiness returned, just like the other night. What was happening to him? Jack hoped he was going crazy; any other explanation seemed too complicated.

The phone rang, both sighed with relief and then they both grinned at their reaction to the telephone breaking through the… silence… if that's what you'd call it. "I'll get it," he said quickly, then turned his back to her and walked over to the telephone stand. Picking up the receiver, Jack brought it to his lips. "Hello," he addressed to the other end of the line, "This is Jack Tripper."

"Hello," came a gruff response, "I'm looking for Janet Wood."

Jack looked over at Janet who was now sitting on the sofa. He pointed towards the phone in his hand. "It's for you," he mouthed silently.

"Ask who's speaking," she told him. Jack grinned; she didn't want to talk to anyone as long as she had to, Janet was like that, and it was also due to the fact that she hated talking on the phone altogether.

Turning his concentration back to his conversation he asked pointedly, "excuse me, but who's speaking?"

"Andrea."

Jack laughed, dropping his manners completely. A man named Andrea? He had to be joking.

There was a pause on the other end then an angered huff came from the man. "Names," he growled at Jack through the phone, "mean nothing."

Stifling back chuckles he grinned. "Yeah sure," He agreed, but hardly convinced, "and your last name sir?"

"Castellani. It's Andrea Castellani."

This time Jack burst, holding nothing back he laughed whole heartedly into the phone. Janet glanced over at him and raised an eyebrow. "What's going on?" she asked.

"Janet there's a man that wants you. His names… Andrea, Andrea Castellani, or something," He snorted.

Janet eyed him, shocked. She jumped to her feet. Her reaction broke Jack out of his laughing fit. "What?" he asked

"Jack!" she cried, snapping the phone out of his hands, "That's my father!"

Jack felt his eyes grow, "What? No, his last names Castellani and yours is Wood, there's no way…"

"I have my mother's maiden name Jack," she sighed, rolling her eyes. Janet brought the phone to her face. "Hey daddy," She greeted.

Jack groaned. Great, he had just made fun of his best friend's dad… that's always a nice thing to do. He could hear Janet's father's ill-natured response mumble through the phone from where he was standing next to her. She glared at Jack as she put in a word or two between her dad's grumblings, "Yes dad, that was Jack… no it wasn't very polite for him to say that, I'm sure he feels awful about it… no, not just because you're my father because it was rude… yes… he really does have manners, you just caught him at a bad time…" their conversation continued on like that for awhile. Jack could only hear Janet's side of the phone call and quickly drew bored as he noticed their talk seemed to drift over to things about back at "home" in Indiana.

It wasn't that Jack didn't have an interest for Janet's family, because he really did. It was just that she hardly ever shared anything about them to either him or Terri, so now that she was suddenly going on and on about all these people who he had never even heard their names before in his life made it difficult for Jack to follow. First she was talking about Jenny- he only knew Jenny was Janet's sister because she had visited once before- and then suddenly she was rambling on about some person she called Jimmy the Jaw. Who the heck was 'Jimmy the Jaw'?

Giving up, Jack went over to the couch and picked up a magazine, he began flipping through it absentmindedly. He was half concentrating on an article involving research on foot fungus- how interesting- and half listening to the sound of Janet's voice. He could listen to her voice forever; it reminded him faintly of water gurgling through a brook, bubbly and flowing easily from her mouth almost like she was about to break out into song. Then a few of her words caught his full attention and he discarded the magazine.

"Well," Janet sighed into the receiver, "it is about time I did… okay, so I'm way overdue for a visit, I know, but airfare is expensive and you know 'expensive' isn't any kind of word I can use… Dad! I just can't let you pay, that's terrible… I suppose… oh, you have no idea! I've been dying to see Indiana again." Jack watched intently as she listen to her father speak. She seemed to be pondering deeply as her expression grew distant. "I guess I could…" Janet told him with a smile, but then she glanced up and her eyes met Jack's. If she went to visit Indiana then he realized suddenly that would leave him alone with his empty heart again. Terri would still be there, but Janet was the only one who knew, she was supposed to be helping him with the no-dating plan. How could she do that when she was miles away? Janet seemed to be reading his mind. She stared at him for a couple seconds, obviously contemplating. "Dad" she said softly, "I can't leave… well, because I'm needed here right now. How about in a month and a half… I know and I'd love to see you too, but I… What?... I don't know…" Janet sighed lightly, "Can I call you back? Okay, bye."

She hung the phone up, and looked down at it on its cradle, thinking deeply.

Jack took a long breath, "Janet." He stood and walked over to her, placing his hand on her shoulder. "You can go you know. Don't think for one moment that I would want to hold you away from your family."

"Jack," she said simply, turning to meet his gaze, "I made a promise to you first. You're hurting, and I want to be there to help you, it's my job. But…" she said with a small smile, "a change of scenery could probably do you some good too…"

He searched her eyes, catching what she was hinting at. "You're joking," he said.

Janet's eyes twinkled, "so how do you feel about the rolling hills and deep green forests of southern Indiana? How about it Tripper? Care to join me?"

Jack grinned, but then turned serious, "what about your family? They want you to go visit them because they want to spend time with _you_, not me. I don't think they'd feel very great if I bummed my way along."

"Jack, they wouldn't mind," She told him, "They've all wanted to meet you ever since you moved in here seven years ago. To my family you're like a celebrity, I've told them so much about you."

He smiled, "you've told them about me?"

"Well yeah," Janet blushed slightly, "of course I did. So what do you say? This way I can help you out and keep an eye on you so you don't go breaking our deal of no-dating-a-girl-for-a-month-plan and you can help me with my slightly crazed family. A friend in need is a friend indeed. So will you come with me?"

"Promise me one thing…"

"What's that?"

"On the plane you'll load me up with so much Gravol that people will think I'm high on every substance going… either that or let me sit on your lap and suck my thumb the whole way there. I'm a complete baby when it comes to planes."

Janet laughed and the sound melted him and made him chuckle along. He thought about it, he was going to Indiana where Janet had lived for most of her life. He was finally going to meet her family and the friends she'd grown up with. But the idea that pleased him most was that he was going to find out more about her, she couldn't stay bottled up forever. Eventually she would have to burst and Jack wanted to be right there when it happened, ready to piece his Janet back together again and show her he deserved her trust. Janet wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly; his heart skipped a beat, something it hadn't done in a long time. He returned the hug gently, pulling her closer and resting his chin on her head, he sighed. Suddenly Jack had the strongest feeling this trip was going to be the best thing he'd ever done.

_::_

_Never take a person for granted, _

_Hold every person close to your heart, _

_Cause you might wake up one day and realise, _

_That you've lost a diamond, _

_While you were too busy looking for stones. _


	4. Two Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest

**Bonjour! Sorry about the time gap between this chapter and the others, but our internet broke down. You know how it is. :) Anyways... enjoy! **

**- C.A**

Chapter four: Two Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

_Turn your face to the sun, _

_And the shadows fall behind you. _

_::_

"Indiana? Seriously?" Terri asked. They were all sitting around the table, and it was almost dinner time. By the time she had managed to pull herself out of bed Jack and Janet had already made all the arrangements needed for a trip to Janet's hometown. Now, many hours later, they were just getting around to letting her in on the idea. How nice. Actually, Terri didn't mind that much. Since the day she had moved in two years earlier she had picked up on the fact that these two people sitting before her _never _stopped. Jack and Janet were always doing something, whether working (cooking food in Jack's case) or doing odd jobs and errands they left themselves no time for a break. Even when they were at home you couldn't actually say they were doing nothing. Janet could be found reading, cleaning, or checking paperwork for the flower shop, and Jack liked to concentrate on new ideas for his Bistro down the street. Terri had wondered when they would finally realize they deserved a break.

Janet fiddled with a piece of string on the sleeve of her shirt, "Well it's been awhile since I've got to visit everyone back home. Just because I live here doesn't mean I have to completely abandon my family."

Terri nodded in agreement, "absolutely. When's the last time you've seen them anyways? Two-and-a-half, three years?"

"Almost eight."

"What?" she stared at Janet wide eyed. Eight years! She hasn't visited Indiana since the day she moved in here? Terri searched her friend's face, now that she thought about it she could never recall a time when Janet had even mentioned her family. Sure, when Terri asked she would answer, but she'd never bring them up into conversation by herself. Terri glanced over at Jack, but he just shrugged back. She hadn't met Janet's parents, and neither had he. But maybe he knew more than she did, correction, he _did_ know more than she did. He knew Janet better than anyone. Terri returned to the conversation, keeping a mental tab to ask Jack what he knew about the rest of Janet's family later on. "Well, you're way over due for a visit then."

"Yeah, I really am" she admitted with a small smile. "It'll be good to see everyone again."

Terri grinned, but then glanced between her two friends, "So" she said, "Where do you come into all this Jack? How'd you worm your way on this trip?"

Jack raised an eyebrow as if to ask _what are you trying to say?_ "Actually I didn't 'worm' my way into anything, Janet invited me simply because she's a nice person… unlike _another _certain roommate I know."

Terri kicked him under the table, "I'm a nice person." She told him, and then arched an eyebrow, "c'mon Janet, no one just invites Jack Tripper anywhere, he's scum. Jack, it's a joke, don't give me that look. But really you two, there's got to be a better reason than that, usually you don't invite your best friend on a personal family trip."

Janet and Jack shared a knowing look, Janet glanced at him questionably and Jack shook his head slightly. She turned to Terri, "sorry Terri, I'm sworn to secrecy. But you'll find out eventually, when it's all worked out, trust me. It's actually kind of stupid."

Jack huffed.

Janet rolled her eyes, "it is Jack."

"It is not."

Terri interrupted, "never mind, I don't think I even want to know." Hard to tell what it was with those two. "Just remember" she teased, "no hanky-panky just because I'm not there to keep you guys under control." She laughed as they both shot her annoyed glares. Holding up her arms in mock innocence Terri grinned, "well, I left you two alone for just one night the other day and when I came back you were both wrapped up in each others arms on the sofa… care to explain?"

"Terri" Jack sighed, "I already told you nothing happened."

"I've heard that one before."

Janet looked at her incredulously, "Terri! We've been friends for years and that's what we'll stay."

"Whatever you say." She told them unconvinced. How could they sit there and deny the biggest truth she'd ever seen? Terri knew that nothing happened the other night, but something was starting. She could feel it in their silences, see it in their gazes, and hear it in their voices. They were best friends. Jack had always been there for Janet, and vice versa. Their understanding for each other went beyond anything Terri had ever seen. They were two very different people, and yet, they completed each other perfectly, and like it or not they were both just starting to realize that. Terri knew that Janet's and Jack's feelings towards the other were changing, becoming stronger and deeper, and she could also see that they were trying hard to fight it, afraid it was wrong. Little did they know they were absolutely right for each other, but Terri couldn't just tell them that, it was something they had to see for themselves, all they needed was a little push. She hoped this trip was the 'push' she had been waiting for.

But until she knew for sure Terri had to play along, she couldn't force her friends into anything, even if she wanted to. Jack and Janet had to figure this out by themselves. She sighed, "So when are you two leaving?"

"Monday. You know you can come too if you want." Janet told her, leaning forward in her chair as she propped her chin on her elbows.

Terri thought about it. She'd like to meet Janet's family, no doubt about that. Indiana was supposed to be a beautiful place too, especially where they lived, way down along the southern border. Lots of trees, forests, and rivers… it would have been perfect except for one little thing: Terri hated nature. Period. She was a city girl, and unless there was a Regal Beagle somewhere out in the wilderness she'd be a lost cause. There was also the fact that it would be hard for Janet and Jack to deal with…whatever they had for each other… while she dragged behind them playing the role of the third wheel. No, apartment 201 was where she'd stay.

"No thanks" Terri grinned, "I'd love to meet your family Janet, but when it comes to the 'woods' that's where I draw the line."

Her friend smiled back, but it wasn't genuine. Did Janet suspect something? Was it really that obvious what Terri was trying to do? Get them alone together. Or maybe… Janet just felt uncomfortable being with Jack by herself. Terri's eyes twinkled, she hoped so, that could mean Janet knew something was going on between her and Jack. Maybe a 'push' wasn't necessary after all, but it would certainly help anyway.

"Well" Jack's voice broke through Terri's reverie, "then what are you going to do by yourself for a whole week?"

Janet chuckled, "Trust me Jack, Terri's not one who runs out of ideas. She probably already has her week all planned out. As soon as we walk out the door the party will start."

"Or rather the rest fest will start" Terri said to them both, "No parties for me this week, I'm dead tired. Works been horrible these last few months, and I'm not due back until the 22nd so I plan to get the full ten days of sleep I deserve. It'll be easier with the apartment empty, no offense, but sometimes I don't know if it's you guys who just came home or a full stampede of elephants."

Jack rolled his eyes, "you just have over sensitive ears. Chrissie and Cindy never used to complain." He stood up, and turned towards Janet, resting his hands on her shoulders. "Do you want to go to the Bistro for dinner?" he asked, "Philippe can cook tonight and we can eat, it's on me."

Janet nodded, grinning, "sure hon, let me go grab my coat." She bounced to her feet and headed towards the bedroom.

When she was out of sight Terri cleared her throat and shot Jack a glare.

He sighed, "you can come too if you want."

"Gee, thanks for thinking of me," her voice dripping with sarcasm, but then she stared at him. "Jack," she stood and grabbed his arm, "how much do you know about Janet's family?"

He rubbed the back of his head, "not much more than you probably, she doesn't bring them up often."

"Why not?"

"Look Terri, we both know how Janet likes to guard herself. She doesn't like to trust people."

Terri squeezed his hand, "but she trusts_ you_."

Jack took a deep breath, "Janet will share when she's ready, and we can't push her."

"Sometimes" Terri said softly, not necessarily talking about Janet's family anymore, "People need that extra little push, just to prove that it's the right thing to do…"

"Huh?"

"Like running a race, when you start off in the beginning you're full of confidence and then somewhere along the line you slow down, your feet are unstable and you start thinking that maybe this is wrong after all. But you can't stop, not when you came all this way, and so you keep going. And when you finally come around that last bend in the road, and can see the finish line up ahead it makes everything worth it again because you never gave up. The journey is the destination Jack."

He looked at her, thinking. Terri smiled; she knew he understood what she was talking about. "Janet trusts you Jack," She told him, "You're the only person she trusts. I know you're not sure if you deserve this trust, but Jack you've just reached that spot in the race where your feet are stumbling a little. You're hesitating and uncertain because you've felt something you've never felt before. It's not wrong, it's just new. Don't give up just because you're too afraid to try. Take a deep breath, and keep running steady, because when that finish line comes into your sight, Jack it's going to be the most wonderful thing you've ever seen."

He didn't have time to reply, Janet had made her way back into the kitchen again. She had her shoes and coat on. "Ready?" she asked him.

Jack nodded, and followed Janet out the door, throwing a glance at Terri before they disappeared from sight. Terri hoped he'd take to heart what she'd said to him. She watched from the window as they made their way down the stairs to the bottom of the apartment complex. They were grinning and talking comfortably, then Janet slid her hand into Jack's and they seemed to fall into a peaceful silence as they walked. Terri smiled, "You two have it bad" she murmured, "now you just have to realize that."

_::_

Janet was packing for the big trip to Indiana, her and Jack were leaving tomorrow, and their plane was scheduled for nine in the morning. She threw a handful of socks into the huge brown suitcase that was lying on her bed, a frown set on her face. She was excited to go, she missed everyone back home, but… was taking Jack such a good idea? Janet huffed, what with all the jitters and butterflies she'd been feeling around him lately maybe she should be taking a break from him, not taking a week to have him around her every single minute of the day. But Jack was already around her every single minute of the day, he lived here after all. And he was her friend; she couldn't treat him coldly just because her stomach was doing flip flops. Janet had told Jack she'd help him deal with his empty heart, and this trip to Indiana would definitely keep his mind off of it at least a little so she owed it to him to take him along.

Folding up a pair of jeans, she tucked them into the suitcase as well. But what about her heart? Janet hid her heart from everyone, and she did a good job at it too. But being in Indiana again where she had spent most of her life would present a challenge. Was she ready to let Jack see that side of her? Let him see past the confidence and the down to earth personality, to let him finally see her heart? Maybe she wasn't ready, but it didn't matter, Jack was her best friend and he deserved to come. Besides, he knew her so well already he probably wouldn't find it any different. He was the only person Janet had ever met who could see past everything else, and just accept her for who she was, even when she couldn't quite accept herself. It scared her, but at the same time made her love him even more.

Part of her wished that Janet had told Terri when they were all sitting around the table earlier about Jack and how he had been feeling empty inside lately and so that's why he was tagging along on this trip. It certainly would've cleared the air, but Jack had already stated before that he didn't want anyone else involved so she had to respect his wishes. As she stared at the suitcase, wondering vaguely if she forgot to pack something, there was a knock at the door. Janet smiled, Terri never knocked so it must be Jack. "Come in," she called out.

And sure enough, in he came. Jack grinned at her as he made his way into the room, "Hey sunshine."

"'Hey' yourself" she told him, struggling with the zipper on her luggage. Eventually it fastened, and Janet let out a breath, "there, that's my packing done."

He sat down on the edge of Terri's bed, "you're just finishing? I've been done for about an hour now."

Janet smiled as she plopped down beside him, "I am a girl Jack. These things take time."

"Trust me, I know," referring to all those times he was forced to wait for the girls to be done getting dressed, or done in the washroom, or done with their hair, and so on, and so on. "So are you excited to see your family tomorrow?"

Janet nodded, it was the only thing she could do. Looking down at her feet, she couldn't really decide if she was excited or not, it was more or less a tie between excitement and dreading.

Beside her Jack sighed. "I wish you'd tell me the truth," he said softly, "I can tell when you're lying, so why try?"

"I'm not lying," she told him firmly, glaring at him, but her gaze seemed to weaken as her eyes failed to pierce his. Janet shrugged her shoulders slightly, "I'm not lying, I'm just not telling the truth either."

Jack rolled his eyes, "ok, I'll act like I understood that."

"I am excited to go. Or at least one part of me is," she said, "But I'm also dreading it too. Jack, I haven't been there in so long, I know I've changed a lot in over eight years but everyone back home still expects me to be the same. And I can't do that; I can't be something I'm not."

"Janet," he murmured gently, and she felt his hand wrap around her waist, "Life's complicated, it always was and it always will be. But don't worry about what your family thinks, everybody changes, and they know that. No matter what, they will love you for who you are." He smiled, "it's their job after all."

Janet let her mouth curve into a small smile as well, "I suppose you think I'm just a bag of nerves, don't you?"

He shook his head, "No I don't. Honestly, I don't know what I think of you."

"What?"

"Well," Jack said quietly, "I might know you better than anyone, but you're still a mystery sometimes. Just when I think I have you completely figured out, you do something or say something that makes me second guess everything."

Janet looked up at him. She was a mystery to him? That fact both pleased and upset her. She felt her stomach toss and turn as his blue eyes gazed down at her. "Is that a good thing?" she asked.

His grin disappeared, "I don't know."

Her pulse started to pick up speed, and Janet pulled her gaze away from his. But she didn't move away, instead she moved in closer, resting her head against his shoulder. She put her hand over top of his that was wrapped around her waist. They were quiet for a moment, and then she spoke softly. "What would I do without you?"

"You'd have no life," he answered teasingly

Janet jabbed him with her elbow. "I'd have a life," she told him, "it just wouldn't be nearly as much fun."

"Janet," he said, "If you want me to stay home, I can. I know Indiana's important to you; I know there are things you have to figure out, don't let me get in the way."

She shifted herself closer to him and the words were out before she even had a second thought. "No. You're coming. I want you to, trust me, if I didn't I'd tell you."

She couldn't see, but she knew he was grinning. "Alright my fair maiden," he declared in a loud voice, "Your wish is my command!"

Janet laughed, "Then let's go, onward to Indiana."

"Tomorrow." He said, kissing the top of her head, "Tonight we both need sleep."

She blushed as his lips came in contact with her skin, and the walls around her heart wavered suddenly without warning. Janet felt her heart hammer against her chest, wanting to be set free, but she couldn't let that happen. Pulling away from Jack, she sighed, why did this keep occurring? These feelings for him that she couldn't explain were popping up more and more, no matter how hard Janet tried to detain them. It was like fire erupting inside her, and Jack was the source.

She felt him study her, confused as he noted her abrupt wary demeanour. "Something wrong?" he asked.

"No," Janet replied, putting on her best fake smile, "I'm fine, just tired."

She knew Jack didn't completely believe her, but she also knew he understood when she wanted to be left alone, and this frankly was one of those times. He stood to his feet, "well, looks like Mrs. Wood needs her rest, I'll get going."

She nodded, "Goodnight Jack."

He winked and turned towards the door, letting his hand run through her hair as he passed. Janet closed her eyes at his touch. "See you in the morning Jan," he murmured, switching off the light and closing the door behind him.

"See you in the morning," she mumbled into the darkness, a little too late to be heard.

_::_

This was getting out of hand. That was all Jack could tell himself as he settled into his own bed in the next room. His sudden feelings for Janet persisted not to be forgotten, and they kept returning again and again. It was almost as bad as when his heart was empty and cold, because he knew he couldn't have Janet. She was his best friend, maybe best friends could fall in love in sappy movies, but the chance of that happening in reality was one in a million. It was impossible. _Nothing's impossible_ he reminded himself. Well then it was **next** to impossible.

And the simple fact that it was Janet didn't help either. She was independent and determined to do things without the help of others; she would never feel the same way he was feeling about her.

But when Jack had been in her room, she had vented to him about her family, had told him how insecure she was to see them again. And Janet had let him comfort her, he had wrapped her in his arms and for once she didn't resist, she just let him hold her.

Maybe there was hope after all.

But then suddenly Janet had tensed against him and had pulled away. Her eyes looking timid and on guard, and she wanted him to leave. She didn't actually tell him to go, but he could read between the lines. She wanted to be left alone. Was that all he was to her? Someone to console her in her time of need, and then, when she was done throw him away like last week's newspaper? No. Jack knew he meant more to her than that, a lot more. He simply had to remind himself that Janet trusted him, and then he knew just how much she cared about him. When he had told her he didn't mind staying home while she went to Indiana Janet didn't even ponder the idea. She just told him she needed him there with her. And that was it right there, the silver lining, she _needed_ him.

Terri's words echoed inside his head. _Janet trusts you Jack. You're the only person she trusts._ Jack sighed; Terri could see something they couldn't. She also knew how he felt towards Janet, or at least she had definitely hinted that much and she also hinted that it was right too. Jack wanted to think that, because when Janet looked in his eyes he smiled, when she spoke he laughed, when she touched him his heart leapt and when she was in his arms it felt absolutely right. But feeling like something is 'right' and it actually _being_ 'right' were two very different things.

Jack felt like he was going crazy. All this was driving him insane, and they were leaving for Indiana tomorrow. It was all happening so fast. Hopefully getting away from Santa Monica would let them both have a chance to escape from all these complications at least for a while. Because when it came down to it Jack just wanted Janet to be happy. No matter what, as long as he could hear her laugh and have her in his life he knew he'd be okay. Yeah, his feelings for Janet were complicated, there was no doubt about that, but they'd work it out. Together.

_::_

_God places his heaviest burdens, _

_On those who can carry the weight. _

_**~ Reggie White **_


	5. Janet's Secret

**I'll say it again... I do not own Three's Company or it's Characters! Okay guys, this chapter is the longest so far and really touches alot of different things. But basically it shows how far Jack's loyalty goes for Janet, for as you'll see... she puts him through quite a lot in this chapter, but don't worry, he's Jack Tripper, he'll be fine. :) This isn't one of my favorite parts of the story but it's necessary... and cute. Please review! I want to know what you guys think! Am I doing 'ok' so far? **

**- C.A**

Chapter five: Janet's Secret

_The greatest barrier to success, _

_Is the fear of failure. _

_**~ Sven Goran Eriksson **_

_::_

For six in the morning the apartment was a bustling spot of activity and disorder. Janet hadn't been able to grab a single ounce of sleep last night; her thoughts had been too wild to sink into unconsciousness. They had mainly centered around the up coming plane ride and Indiana, also of course -as her mind had been focusing more and more on lately- she hadn't been able to get Jack out of her head. Now, Janet regretted not sleeping, as she looked around at the mess before her she could predict it was going to be an extremely long day.

Terri was in the kitchen making breakfast; however the odour wafting from the kitchen door didn't smell like food to Janet; and Jack kept sprinting from the washroom to his bedroom with different items such as a toothbrush or a razor. He had told her last night he had finished all of his packing… yeah right…

Janet stood in the middle of the living room, not sure what to do with herself. Helping Terri in the kitchen was a bad idea, she'd just make matters worse, but Janet wanted to talk to her. Finally, deciding that if she simply sat at the table without trying to help prepare the food she wouldn't be that much damage, Janet preceded to the kitchen door. She was about to swing it open when there was a knock at the front door. Sighing she turned to answer it, but before she could reach the handle the 'someone' on the other side opened it themselves, and to Janet's surprise Larry entered the apartment.

"Hey Janet" he said dismissively, peering over her shoulder, apparently looking for Jack, "how's it going."

Janet rolled her eyes. "Usually" she told him "we don't expect a visit from you until the sun has actually begun to rise. It's six in the morning Larry, what do you want? Another carton of milk? "

"No" he put his hands on her shoulders and steered her out of his way as he walked towards Jack's room, "just need to talk to Jack-o for a sec."

Janet sighed as he disappeared into the bedroom. Leave it to Larry to show up at the most haphazard moments.

"Breakfast's ready!" Terri sang making her way into the living room with a plate piled full of what Janet could only assume were sausages, "get them while they're hot!"

"We can eat in the kitchen; we've still got time." Janet told her as she watched Terri set the food on the coffee table.

Terri shrugged, "it's better to have plenty of time than have none at all."

She nodded, couldn't disagree with that. Reluctantly, Janet accepted her portion, but before she had the chance to bite into it Jack walked into the room with his suitcase under his arm, Larry was at his heels.

"No Larry, I'm not lending you ten bucks" he said, slightly annoyed.

"Jack c'mon" Larry pleaded, "I need money for my date tonight!"

"Sorry pal, you're on your own" Jack gave his friend a slap on the back, "Why can't you just take her for a walk or something? That doesn't cost a cent."

"She wants to go dancing."

"Well in that case" Janet told him, entering the conversation, "it's a good thing you don't have any money. You have seen yourself dance, right?"

Larry sneered at her and sank onto the couch. He sniffed the air suddenly, "ugh what's that smell?"

Janet pointed to their breakfast, "I believe that answers your question."

Terri blushed, "Sorry guys. It's my first time making pancakes."

"Pancakes? You sure that's what you were trying to make?" Jack asked, picking one up and inspecting it closely, "this is worse than Janet's attempt at spaghetti."

"At least mine resembled food" Janet retorted. She then stood and looked around the room, they should head to the airport now, and if they were early enough they could grab breakfast at one of the restaurants before boarding the plane. Airport food definitely wasn't on her top-ten list, but it was better than Terri's 'pancakes'.

Jack seemed to be reading her mind, as usual. "We should probably get going."

Terri nodded, "Alright."

She stood and grabbed Janet, pulling her into a hug. Janet returned it with a smile; she was going to miss her friend. Terri reached out and seized Jack's hand, dragging him into the hug as well. With an arm around both of them she took a small breath, "Have fun you two. Take care of each other and don't forget to call me." She eyed them carefully, "have a good time, you need it, trust me."

They both nodded and grinned, saying their final goodbyes, they grabbed their luggage. Janet looked around the apartment, this was their home. It was where she had met Jack, had first befriended him, and where she had become so close to him. Now they were leaving, if only for a week, and she felt like she was treading on uneven ground. She glanced at Jack, "Ready?"

He slipped his free hand into hers, eyes twinkling, he looked like she felt: excited with a slight fear of the unknown, "as ready as you are."

"Then you're not at all prepared." Janet whispered softly, starting to have doubts.

"I guess not." He admitted, opening and holding the door for her, "but I'm not worried."

Janet met his gaze and with her eyes trained on his he seemed to assure her of everything, "then neither am I."

He winked at her, making her smile, then turned towards the other two who had watched the exchange curiously. "See you next week guys."

"Bye" Larry called while Terry waved.

Janet and Jack exited the apartment. The door closed behind them, she sighed and Jack squeezed her hand reassuringly.

"Onward to Indiana." He murmured into her ear.

_::_

"This is your Captain speaking; we will begin our descent to the Indianapolis International Airport shortly. There is a slight cloud cover, but over all the weather is fair at a normal ten degrees Celsius, fifty degrees Fahrenheit. Store all items that may be jostled during the landing process. Thank you." there was a soft beep as the Captain disconnected from the intercom and then a quick rummage as the passengers' stowed their loose luggage. Janet shoved her purse underneath the seat in front of her, breathing a sigh of relief. Soon they would be off this plane. She didn't mind flying, but with Jack hung up on Gravol and dozing beside her she had nothing to do and no one to talk with the whole flight.

She glanced at Jack's wristwatch, it was one o'clock. They had left the apartment around six thirty, boarded the plane at nine and had been up in the air for the past four hours. They were right on schedule. Butterflies swarmed inside her stomach, her family was probably on the ground waiting for her and Jack at this very instant. Janet shifted in the seat uncomfortably, she felt bad for feeling like this. She shouldn't be terrified to see her own family, but she was anyway. Eight years is a long time to be apart from them, she hoped she hadn't changed too much.

Janet reached out and shook Jack's shoulder; she had let him sleep long enough. He squinted as he looked around and groaned softly from being awakened from his deep slumber. "We're getting ready to land" she told him.

Jack straitened in his seat, and blinked back sinking lids. Still too groggy from the Gravol to fully comprehend what she was saying he turned towards the window. Janet watched his eyes grow wide as he stared at the layers of clouds and miles and miles of air that separated them from the ground; he wiped his head in her direction finally realizing where they were, "You told me you'd wake me up when we got there."

Janet gave him a quizzical glance, "We are here Jack."

"Then why are we still in the air?" he asked frantically, clenching her arm until his fingers turned white.

She hadn't forgotten that he was afraid of flying, but she thought he could've at least handled the landing calmly enough. Apparently, Janet misjudged. She placed her hand over his and tried to quiet him down. "Oh Jack, I thought you meant wake you up when we were beginning to land, not when we've already touched down."

His face was draining of color, but he made an attempt to breathe slowly and keep his cool, or whatever cool was left. "Its fine, I'm alright." He said in a high pitched voice.

Janet held back a giggle, now was not the time, although she couldn't keep a small smile from peeping through, "You sure?"

He nodded, not meeting her eyes; Jack was trying to keep his gaze focussed straight ahead. Janet leaned across him to shut the window shade, but a jostle of turbulence threw her off balance. She fell squarely into his lap; Jack grabbed her around the waist to prevent her from sliding off him and crashing to the floor. They remained still until the plane stopped rocking, Janet felt his breath against her neck and she looked up at him, shifting in his grip.

There was a loud ring as the seatbelt sign was turned on and Jack grinned, "I think you should fasten yours right now."

"I think you're right" she agreed. He let her go and she struggled off of him to her own seat, blushing furiously as she could feel where his hands had been on her waist just moments before. Janet buckled herself up and glanced over at him, he glanced back smugly. She opened her mouth to make a short come back, but was interrupted by the intercom.

"We are now descending; please fasten your safety belts securely."

There was a pressure on Janet's ears as the plane dipped forward. She rested her hands on the armrests and kicked her purse again, making sure it was still stowed under the seat in front of her. Jack looked like he was ready to be sick and subconsciously she leaned slightly away from him, just in case. As the plane's descent increased Jack grabbed the armrest, his fingers brushed against hers. Feeling her hand beside his he grabbed it and squeezed it tightly. Neither was prepared for the spark that flashed between them from that simple contact.

Jack's eyes met hers and she felt her insides melt. For a second it seemed like his face was leaning towards her own, when suddenly another bout of air pockets rocked the plane and made him lurch forward. His mouth crushed against hers accidentally. Shocked, they both sat there frozen in place, his lips on hers. Jack finally pulled away, a speechless expressions etched onto his face, Janet knew her eyes were as wide as saucers.

Awkwardness reigned as they both turned away from the other. "Sorry" he said hoarsely, glancing at his feet.

"Not your fault" she muttered, trying to forget that had even happened.

Thankfully, moments later the airplane hit the runway. The engines groaned in protest as the pilot slowed them almost to a complete stop and then the wheels inched them towards the terminal. As they pulled to a stop the stewardesses walked down the aisles, opening all the top compartments that carried the heavier carry-ons. Janet was the first one off the plane, followed by Jack.

Janet's stomach began to twist as their strides took them through the airport and closer to her family. Jack reached out and squeezed her hand, but she barely noticed. All that was on her mind now was her family, and how soon they would all be together again. But whether that was a good thing or not… Janet still couldn't tell.

_::_

Jack could feel Janet's fingers grip his harder. He could see the worry clearly spread out on her face, and he hated seeing her like that, being full of anxiety didn't remind him of the Janet he knew so well. She noticed him looking down at her and she somehow smiled through her nervousness "Just a little worked up" she informed.

Jack raised an eyebrow, "A little?"

"Don't let me pass out." Janet whispered into his ear as they reached the escalator.

They started a slow descent to the ground floor. "Janet" he said reassuringly, "they love you. Why are you so nervous? Stop worrying, I won't l-" But Jack didn't get the chance to finish. Loud screams and cries resonated throughout his ears as he and Janet came into view of the group of people waiting at the bottom. Jack estimated that from the sound there were thousands of people yelling, but when he looked around he only managed to find twenty or so, which was still a big number in itself. Beside him Janet moaned, and he eyed a bright orange poster in the middle of the crowd entitled: 'Welcome Home Janet!' Jack glanced at her, "That's them I'm guessing."

She sighed, "That's them." Janet was monotone, but he seen a bright light in her eyes as she stepped off the escalator and right before the crowd engulfed her. Janet was short enough that Jack lost track of her for a second in the mob of people, but he quickly spotted her dark black hair again. She was in the middle of the crowd, hugging someone he immediately recognized as her father. Janet had his hair Jack realized as he compared the two briefly. Her father seemed completely in his glory to hold his daughter in his arms again, he was murmuring loving words in Italian Jack noticed, remembering Janet telling him her father was half Italian. And to Jack's surprise Janet was responding in the same language, he never thought she could speak it, she never told him.

When Janet's father finally released her, three men stepped forward, they were all identical. She emitted a small squeal of delight as she threw herself at them, wrapping her arms around them tightly. Jack's heart blazed with jealousy until he seen the similarities between them and her. They were Janet's brother, they had to be. She had told him she only had one, never ever did she mention having identical triplet brothers. Jack watched a few paces off as the men moved over to one side and Jenny, Janet's sister, gave her a hug. Then another girl came up to Janet, and Jack had to rub his eyes to make sure he was seeing correctly, she was like a little copy of Janet herself. This kid was only fourteen or so, but had Janet's stature, her chin, her big chocolate brown eyes, everything. He heard the girl suddenly refer to Janet as 'sissy', and he watched incredulous. She'd never told him about having another sister either.

Finally, from in the crowd of other close relatives Janet's mother emerged. She was tall and as narrow as a board, the only thing her and Janet had in common were their eyes. Jack watched as Janet's squeals of joy diminished as her gaze caught on her own mother. He realized no one else could notice, but he knew Janet so well he picked up on her shoulders as they tensed slightly. The two women were silent for a moment, and then her mother smiled tightly, "Janet." She greeted simply.

Janet closed the distance between them somewhat reluctantly, "Hello Mom" she said, hugging her awkwardly. The tension between the two of them was thick and deep, Jack knew Janet's relationship with her mother didn't go very far, but he didn't expect it to be so… ridged either.

When they separated there was a small silence and then suddenly someone from the crowd busted out, "Hey! Who's that guy? Janet brought a man!"

All heads whipped in his direction, all eyes focused on Jack. He shifted uncomfortably in place and cleared his throat gruffly. Janet walked over to him and wrapped an arm around his waist, "this is Jack." she said simply. And that was all that apparently needed to be said. Everyone fell silent as they looked him over, Jack felt as if he was some stuffed animal on display, their glares were slightly critical and he glanced down at his feet.

One of the men that Jack supposed were Janet's brothers reached out and grabbed his hand, shaking it wildly with enthusiasm. "You're Jack Tripper? Janet told us about you in her letters."

"Yes sir" he replied with a forced smile while he took his hand back and rubbed it gently, that man had an iron grip. "And you are?"

The guy glanced at Janet questionably, "Didn't tell him much about your family did you, Jan?" He looked back to Jack, "I'm Raymond, one of three identical triplets."

"So I've noticed." He told Raymond, motioning to the two other men standing behind him, all with the same physical appearance. "You guys are Janet's brothers?"

Raymond nodded, "Big brothers actually", He pointed to the other two, "That's Gaige and Kyle over there, we're the oldest." he wasn't talking to Jack anymore, his attention was now directed at Janet, "You look great by the way sis. You let your hair grow, I like it."

Janet was blushing, "Glad you approve."

Jack felt dazed, just how many siblings did Janet _have_? That was what, five so far? Kyle, Raymond, Gaige (what kind of name was that?), Jenny and the Janet-look-alike he hadn't heard the name of yet. Why on earth did she never tell him about them, he knew she liked to keep herself locked-up, but to 'forget' to inform him about her family? That hardly even sounded like Janet. Jack met her gaze and by the expression on her face she knew what he was thinking, she looked slightly guilty.

"Welcome to Indiana Jack" someone said, giving him a slap on the back.

He turned to see who had spoken and found himself face to face with Janet's father. Racking his brains to remember his name it finally popped into his head and a sinking feeling ran through him, it was Andrea Castenelli. Jack had insulted him on the phone. "Thanks M. Castenelli." he said.

"Ah" Andrea grinned, "you remember our conversation on the phone?"

Jack felt his cheeks flush and beside him Janet smirked. "Yes I do" he admitted, "I'm really sorry about that sir."

Andrea waved the apology off, "already forgiven. Besides, I'll agree it really is an odd name." his eyes twinkled and it reminded Jack so much of Janet he had to smile. "And you little lady", he said, referring to his daughter, "Welcome to Indiana as well! When you told me you were leaving all that time ago I didn't think it meant you wouldn't come back for eight years."

"I'm here now though, aren't I?" Janet said, hugging her father again, "I missed you Papa." she murmured.

Jack watched one of the triplets lay a hand on Janet's shoulder, he had no idea if it was Kyle or Gaige, Raymond was holding their suitcases and noted Jack's confused face, "That ones Gaige." he whispered with a chuckle.

Jack grinned, "Thanks." he liked Raymond; he seemed open and had a sense of humor, kind of like himself.

"Well" Gaige said to Janet when she was done embracing her father, "Let's get you and Jack home and unpacked."

Janet smiled, "sounds good to me."

Jack looked around, there were still a lot of people Janet hadn't greeted yet, and he assumed they were aunts, uncles and cousins. They would probably visit later he figured, when everyone was safely back at home. Wherever 'home' was. The crowd dismissed slowly, all heading towards their own separate vehicles. However, Janet's parents and siblings stayed close and led them to their van. Actually it couldn't even be considered a van, it was way too huge.

Jenny who was in the front of the procession turned and counted everyone carefully, "uh oh." she mumbled.

"What?" asked Janet.

"The van fits eight people, but there's ten of us." she informed opening the trunk so Raymond could shove the luggage in the back.

The little Janet-look-alike spoke out for the first time, "Kyle came in his car, two people could take that."

"Great idea Lizzie" Janet smiled. Lizzie that was her name.

Kyle moaned, "I just bought that car last week though."

"Bro share," Raymond told him, grabbing the keys and chucking them to Jack, "Here, you and Janet take Kyle's car; the rest of us will pile into the van."

"Under no circumstances is Janet allowed to drive!" Kyle said as he jumped into the back seat of the family van, "She can't be trusted after what happened with dad's old Ford."

Jack glanced at Janet and raised an eyebrow, "You crashed a truck?"

"It was a long time ago", she said, rolling her eyes, "I'm a much better driver now, and you know it."

Raymond grinned, "Still better not take the chance."

"I don't know the way." Jack told him.

"Just follow behind us"

Jack nodded and walked towards the only remaining car in the lot. He unlocked the door, hauled himself inside and leaned across the car to open the passenger door for Janet. He started the engine and whistled. "Kyle was right, this car is bran new," noted Jack as he examined the interior. He pulled out of the parking lot, keeping the van in eye view about thirty meters in front of them.

Janet smiled, "Kyle's always been a car fanatic."

"Yeah and by the way when were you going to inform me about Kyle or Gaige or Raymond or Lizzie for that matter?" he asked suddenly, "Janet, I can't believe you never even told me about them at all. In fact until ten minutes ago I didn't even know they existed!"

"Jack, I-"

"Don't you trust me? Goodness, Janet I thought I at least meant a little bit more to you than that, I felt like a total idiot out there." Jack had wanted to wait until after to question Janet, but since they were alone now and he didn't know when they would be again he decided now was as good a time as any. His temper rose quickly, "How stupid do you think I am that for seven years I haven't noticed that you never mentioned your family? I knew you keep secrets, but this is ridiculous. Don't you care for them at all? Don't you care for me? I'm starting to wish I'd never left damned Santa Monica."

Janet looked like she had been slapped in the face. The hurt in her eyes was so evident that Jack mentally kicked himself for bursting at her. He sighed, "Honey I'm sorry, I didn't mean t-"

"Stop the car." she said it so low he had to strain to hear her.

"...Janet"

"Now"

He glanced at her but she was staring straight ahead, "I have to follow your father."

"I know the way to my own house" she replied icily, "Now. Pull over."

He hit the brakes, pulled off to the side of the road, and cut the engine. Janet unbuckled her seat-belt, and reached towards the door, Jack's heart thumped, "Jan" he said, "please stay in the car."

But she didn't grab the door handle like he thought she was going to; instead she flipped the lock button, locking the doors. "Relax Jack" she told him sternly, turning to face him, "I'm not going anywhere."

He gazed at her, confused. "Then what are you doing?"

"We need to talk." she sighed as she shifted in her seat, trying to find a more comfortable position, "And we're not leaving until I'm contented that we've both said what's on our minds."

Jack knew the look in her eyes too well to even attempt at fighting back, he knew either way he'd lose. When little five-foot-three Janet Wood was determined she could move mountains. There was also the fact that his interest was suddenly peaked. Janet hardly ever wanted to 'talk', and even though a 'talk' was definitely necessary between the two of them he didn't think she'd be the one to initiate it. If anything Jack thought he would be the one who would have to force the conversation when it was time, and why was she doing this now? He supposed it was better to get it over and done with. What exactly did she want to discuss? He could think of a lot of things, but the biggest one and the thing that had been weighing him down these last few days the most was of course the feelings they'd been having for each other. Or rather, the feelings he'd been having for her, Jack wasn't sure if they were returned or not. No matter how much he'd like to think so.

He cleared his throat briskly. "Alright, what's on our mind's that needs to be talked about?" Jack asked pointedly he didn't want to beat around the bush.

She looked suddenly uneasy, "You tell me."

"Janet, you have to be more direct than that, I'm not a rocket scientist and I don't even come close to being a mind reader." He said with a small smile.

"Well" Janet started slowly as she glanced down, "let's start with the obvious: I should have told you about my family." She let that statement hang in the air, waiting for his reaction.

"Right", he agreed.

She stared at him expectantly, "Aren't you going to ask why I didn't?"

Jack rolled his eyes, but obliged, "Alright, why didn't you tell me?"

Janet looked out the windshield; he could tell she was struggling for the right words. "It's not that I didn't trust you, because we both know I do." Her voice was careful, and soft, as if she was trying to hold back the emotion that hung right under the surface. "And it's not that I didn't want to tell you about them either, because I did. There were so many times when I would say to myself, 'This is it, you've got to spill it. Being locked up like this is ridiculous and doesn't help anything'. But it created an illusion of safety, it seemed to keep you distant, and it made me relax a little to think that there was something about me that you didn't know, I liked that."

Jack could tell he looked hurt and he was. Why on earth would Janet want to keep her distance from him, he was her friend, weren't they supposed to be close? He opened his mouth, eyes cold, and was about to strike back with words when she placed her fingers over his lips, quieting him.

"Let me finish first, then you can bite my head off" she ordered. Jack bit his tongue and leaned back, taking a deep breath, he nodded for her to continue.

"Jack, you scare me", said Janet simply, "that's the truth. You're the only person I've ever let inside my heart and that terrifies me. I've always kept myself locked up, and I did a good job at it, but then you come along and you bridge every single obstacle I put up. Mind you, I know it took seven years to do that, but even so, you still did it. For some reason Jack, you didn't give up on me. I'm an idiot for not telling you hardly anything about my family; I was stupid to think that by not informing you I could somehow still place a distance between us. Even if I had told you on the plane that I had five siblings it would have been better than just letting you find out on your own. Jack I'm sorry, so sorry, for everything I've put you through. But we're here now, and if you'd still consider being my friend then I want to let you meet everyone I grew up with, and show you all the places I love, partly because you're already here and I have no choice but to do so, but mostly because… I want to."

Her voice was sincere and hushed, and Jack's temper flickered out like a candle. It was funny how he could be so frustrated with Janet one moment and then the next she melted his heart. He sighed as he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her into a comforting hug. Janet smiled, "I'll take that as a 'yes'."

Jack grinned, "Introduce me to everyone, and take me everywhere. This week I'm yours." He wished Janet knew just how much he meant that.

"Thank you", she murmured into his ear. She tilted back slightly so she could look him in the eye, Janet made a face, "You know despite what insults I may have thrown your way in the past, you really are wonderful."

"I know" he chuckled and she rolled her eyes. Jack gazed at her, letting the smile fade from his face and he reached out slowly, allowing his fingers to run through her hair. His heart was light and felt like it could defy gravity at any second, an effect only Janet could have on him. "We make a good team, don't we." he said in a soft voice, it didn't even sound like himself.

Janet stared back at him, and cocked her head to the side with a smile, "I think so, the best of friends."

Jack's heart fell slightly; she hadn't understood what he had been hinting at. But he grinned anyway, she was Janet and Janet took her time. He was just happy that she shared with him her heart, and that he was here, the simple fact that no one else had ever made it this far contented Jack. He let her go and turned the key in the ignition, starting up Kyle's car. As they drove silence enveloped them, but it was welcomed. Nothing more had to be shared, nothing more was necessary, except maybe Janet's hand as she slipped it into Jack's.

_::_

_It hurts to love someone, _

_And not be loved in return, _

_But what is the most painful, _

_Is to love someone, _

_And never find the courage, _

_To let that person know how you feel… _


	6. Up In The Air

Chapter six: Up in the Air

_I'm getting closer, _

_I'm getting closer to your Heart. _

_**~ Paul McCartney **_

_::_

Janet felt as light as a feather, all the things she had hidden from Jack over these past years had finally come out. Her family, her heart, she didn't have to keep them locked up anymore and it was as if a huge burden had been lifted from her shoulders. Well, she told him mostly everything, there were still the feelings she was having for him that of course she kept to herself. The problem was that they were becoming stronger and stronger with each passing day, what happens if they reach a bursting point? Janet shuddered, not even wanting to imagine it. They were still driving; she had forgotten how long it took to get from the airport to the house. Jack's face kept developing a more amused look by the minute as they traveled away from the city and deeper and deeper into the country. Janet gazed out the window and took it all in; after all she was coming home.

They were heading southwest, from Indianapolis in Marion County to the small and hobnailed town of Alton in Crawford County. It had a population of around fifty people in all, but what it lacked in civilians it made up for in nature. Alton was where she had grown up and Janet found it surprising at how excited she was becoming to see it again. If she closed her eyes her imagination would take her away, to places from her childhood. Beautiful and bittersweet memories that she had left behind, rolling valleys with evergreen forests and sparkling rivers, a brown house resting on the edge of a deep blue lake and if Janet squinted hard enough she could make out her father standing on the patio, calling her in for dinner. The pictures flashed across her mind in vivid clarity, but they were nothing compared to the real thing, nothing compared to what she would see with her own two eyes when they arrived in Alton and she finally stepped out of the car. A smile touched her lips at the thought.

When Janet opened her eyes she found Jack staring at her, a grin spread out on his face, "How much further?"

She glanced out at one of the passing signs. "Almost there," she told him as she read one that said: 'six more miles to Alton'.

He nodded and turned to focus on the road. Neither spoke as they sped closer and closer to their final destination. Janet knew Jack was examining the scenery as well, his family lived in the city and so that was where he had been brought up, she didn't think Jack had ever been surrounded by so many trees in all his life. She on the other hand would feel perfectly comfortable and at home if she had nothing but a tent and a knapsack of supplies. When Janet was a teenager she'd go on plenty of camping trips, sometimes even by herself. Maybe the difference in where they had spent their childhood also had an effect in the difference between their personalities, Jack being more joking and had the notion of what-goes-around-comes-around, and Janet being very down to earth but extremely feisty when the need aroused. But Janet hadn't always been in the country, she had been born in Speedway Indiana first, then the family had been in need of a bigger house for their constantly expanding number of children, which was four at the time. That was when they moved to Alton and where her parents had made their permanent home.

"So," Jack begun, breaking her concentration, "are all your relatives going to be there when we pull in, or are they coming later, or what?"

Janet shrugged, she didn't really know for sure, but she hoped they wouldn't be there. Not because she didn't want to see them, but she just wanted to talk with her family tonight and catch up on things. She wanted to tell them more about Chrissie, Cindy and Terri, she wanted to inform them of the ever nosy landlords, first Mr. Roper and then Mr. Furley. Janet wanted to tell them everything there was to tell tonight and no later, she owed them that much. If all the relatives were there then she wouldn't be able to share very much, firstly because of all the hustle and bustle that would be going on and secondly because they were personal subjects, not necessarily things you'd want your cousins and great aunts to be informed of.

"I hope not" Janet sighed. "No offense to them, but I just don't think I could handle them all tonight. There's also the fact that I feel like collapsing from exhaustion, it's been quite a long day in itself."

As if in response Jack stifled a yawn.

Suddenly up ahead, Janet could begin to make out the shingled roofs of buildings. She sat forward in her seat and pointed excitedly, "look, there's the town!"

"Oh yeah, I see it." Jack sped up to stop the time from ticking by so slowly and a couple minutes later they were passing the first few homes that lined the sides of the road. Janet had to admit, it was a shabby town, the sidewalks were dirt with weeds poking through and the only thing that was paved was the road, and even that was cracked and patched up sloppily. The houses were modest, a bit tattered here and there, but all in all they were weather proof. Janet noted Jack eye the place critically "You've only got one store?" he asked, his gaze directed at the small convenient store on the right hand side, there were no others in sight. But she wasn't interested in his criticism right now, she was here, and that was all that mattered. Janet bounced up and down in her seat and pressed her face to the window as she looked out. Her breath fogged up the glace and she wiped it away with the sleeve of her jacket, she began picking out places quickly, "Oh there's the parsonage… and that's my Aunt Dorothy's house! Oh, Jack look, there on the left is the school house… and at the end of the road, see the hill? On top of the hill there's that really tall building, that's the church!"

Jack laughed, "settle down Janet, you're like a kid being set loose in a candy store." But she couldn't help it, everywhere she looked were familiar places, welcoming homes and sights Janet hadn't even known she missed until she was finally here again. Night was falling, and it made it hard to see anything besides the houses that lined the road and the church looming down upon them from the hill, its steeple shooting upwards into the heavens. Janet huffed.

"It's too dark to see hardly anything!" she complained, wanting Jack to be able to witness the beauty Alton really was in full daylight.

"You can take me out tomorrow," he promised her as they continued down the main road. "In the mean time, describe it to me and I'll try to picture it in my mind."

Beaming at the idea, she turned towards Jack and started relaying what she could remember the most clearly. "Well the houses all line the road perfectly distanced from each other, but you already know that. Anyways, in back of the right hand side of houses are these three hills. Everyone calls them the Rolling Hills, because, hence the name, they seem to be rolling, kind of like waves on the ocean… are you following?"

Jack nodded absently.

"No you're not", she sighed, feeling slightly irritated.

"Sorry Jan, but its hard to concentrate and drive at the same time," he admitted.

Janet stared out the window, "that's just because you're a guy, men are always simple minded."

"And women talk too much", he shot back, she glared at him and Jack flashed his famous smile. "Two people can play that game."

"You're such a baby."

"I'm driving a car, babies can't drive cars, Jan."

She rolled her eyes, unable of thinking up a better comeback and slumped into her seat. It wasn't very often Janet was beaten at a verbal contest; she usually could always find something to say. They were coming to the end of the main road as it split into three different directions, the left and right leading into the unknown, and going forward would bring them to the bottom of the hill where a parking lot was set up for the church. Jack threw her a questioning look. "Go right", she directed.

He followed her instructions and they turned onto the right path. This way was quite short before another fork in the road divided the path in two. Jack read the signs. "Left on 'Daylight Lane' or right to 'Highway 56'?" he asked.

"Left."

Daylight Lane was a long dirt drive and as the car moved ever forward it felt as if the pine trees around them were beginning to press in on them. A small feeling of Closter phobia was closing in on Janet and she tried to shake it off by thinking what was waiting at the end of the lane. Suddenly lights came into view up ahead and she breathed a small sigh of relief. They had made it. They were finally here. Excitement zoomed through her body once again as the house made its way into her sight. She looked over at Jack to find him glancing back at her, her smile seemed to be contagious and he quickly grinned. "We're here?" he asked, noting her bubbling demeanour.

She nodded, feeling slightly lightheaded, "we're home."

_::_

Jack laughed, never ever had he seen Janet this thrilled. He fully believed that if her seat belt was not fastened around her waist she would have ricocheted out of the car by now and full force sprinted the last hundred yards to her house. But since her safely belt was indeed on she just bounced up and down like a little girl in her seat waiting quite impatiently to arrive. "Drive faster," she urged, shaking his arm.

"Janet. Calm. We're almost there." The house was in full view now and Jack took his first real look at it. His jaw dropped. Compared to the homes that were at the beginning of the town this house was a mansion! There were three floors, not including the attic, and it was just absolutely huge. Sure, he had seen bigger, he lived in Santa Monica for goodness sakes, but he wasn't expecting Janet's 'home sweet home' to look like this. "You're family lives… here?" he stammered in disbelief as Jack parked the car at the end of the driveway.

Janet reached over and closed his mouth which he had unknowingly left hanging open. "Well there has to be room for everyone, there were six kids here at one point," she said. "Plus… my grandfather was rich and only had one child to hand his fortune down to: my dad."

Jack forgot that at one time Janet and all her brothers and sisters had lived there as kids. "Well that makes sense," he grinned, "and a rich grandparent helps too I suppose."

She chuckled and nodded. Janet opened the door and jumped out of the car, he watched as she stretched her cramped body from sitting. After a few seconds Jack got out too and opened the trunk, but when he stared inside, it was empty. "Janet, where's the luggage?"

"… Raymond put it in the van, don't you remember?" she answered.

Jack smiled sheepishly, "Oh yeah."

Janet rolled her eyes and took his arm, guiding him towards the front door, "Long day for Jack-o." she said teasingly.

"It was long but worth it." He told her, wrapping an arm around her slim waist.

"Even the plane?" She questioned, recalling his little fit he had thrown when she woke him up and they had still been in the air. Then like a heavy weight on her mind she seemed to remember Jack's lips on hers from their 'kiss' when the turbulence had knocked him into her. An awkward stillness hung in the night between the two friends, their minds both replaying the same scene…

"Finally! You guys are here!"

Janet and Jack jumped in union as they were startled out of their trance; they gazed up to find Raymond on the steps, holding the door open for them. "Well come on, the night's not getting any younger you two," He smirked. Jack hurried up the steps and into the house, hauling Janet along behind him.

Warmth flooded over him as he walked inside, the house was heated to a blistering temperature and Jack quickly peeled off his jacket. The inside he noted, was even grander than the outside. Ahead of him a huge ivory coloured spiral staircase curled upwards to the top levels of the building. To the right Jack could see the entrance and half of the kitchen, what he could make out looked elegant and proper, being a chef there was nothing he wanted more than to go inspect and ultimately cook in the kitchen, but he restrained his urges. Instead he swung his head to the left and found that he was looking into a big living room, three over stuffed couches lined the walls and a comfortable looking rocking chair was in the corner. Off to one side a black pot belly wood stove sat, Jack could see a fire blazing inside and realized where all the heat was coming from.

Beside him, Janet had a big grin fixed on her face, "Nice, isn't it?" she asked, obviously proud of her family's home.

"Beautiful…" he muttered softly still having trouble taking it all in.

Raymond took their jackets and hung them up. "Everyone else is down in the wreck room, and when I say 'everyone' I mean just the family. All the others were going to wait here but Aunt Gertrude sent them away, she knew you guys probably needed your rest."

"I love Aunt Gertrude," Janet said gratefully with a smile. She glanced around, "everything's so different; did dad redo the kitchen?"

Raymond looked over at her, a sour frown set on his face, "he did it six years ago." Janet averted her gaze, not allowing him to peer into her eyes. Jack could tell she was sorry she even asked. "But of course you wouldn't know" Raymond spoke quietly, "you haven't been here in goodness knows how long…"

Janet sighed, "Raymond, I've been busy and-"

"Its okay" he interrupted, obviously regretting his cold words, "you're here now, and that's good enough for me. Maybe mom will want a better explanation later," Janet stiffened at the mention of her mother, "but I don't need one, I'm just glad you finally decided to come." He squeezed Janet's hand reassuringly.

Jack felt ill at ease watching the exchange between Janet and her brother, almost as if he wanted to turn away and let them have their privacy. He hoped the week wouldn't be full of moments like this one so he wouldn't have this awkward feeling all the time, but on the other hand he knew Janet could use moments like this between her family to help her get reconnected to her life. Jack wondered vaguely what part he played in all this. "So," he cleared his throat, "where do I sleep?"

"Oh right" Raymond grinned, "there's a guest room on the third floor for you, Janet's room is right beside it."

Janet grabbed his arm, "C'mon, I'll show you." she said leading him to the staircase and she began hopping up the steps two by two.

"Don't get lost Janet!" Raymond called with a smile.

Jack chuckled, "Does all your family have a sense of humour?" he asked, following her up to the third floor.

"Pretty much" she huffed, reaching the top. Janet strutted down the hallway, letting her hand glide over the banister that separated the hall from the staircase, "but trust me, it can get on your nerves occasionally."

They stopped at a white door, "I don't think it will" he told her, staring down at her intently, "it reminds me too much of you to get on my nerves. I love your humour."

Janet seemed to ignore the comment as she pushed open the door and walked into the room, but Jack noticed her cheeks were blushed slightly. The guest room was big he realized as he peered around, much bigger than his bedroom in apartment 201. A queen sized bed was at his left; all made up with pillows and blankets and at the other end of the room was a small fireplace, a fire already going inside its hearth. Apparently Janet's family liked heat, every room he had been in so far had either a stove or a fireplace of some kind. Now he knew why she was always complaining about how cold it was in their apartment, she was so used to living in extreme temperatures like these!

Jack's suitcase sat in the middle of the floor, thinking about his pyjamas inside made him realize just how tired he really was. He looked at his watch and was surprised to see it was well past midnight. The day had been strenuous and mentally exhausting, when he had woken up that morning Jack had no idea his Janet had six siblings, lived in the remote country, and had rich parents who owned an enormous house. If someone had told him that he would have laughed in their face, and even though now that he was here and had seen it all with his own eyes he still had trouble processing everything. Sighing, he turned towards Janet studying her intently, wondering why on earth she had felt that for seven years she didn't need to tell him all this until now.

She looked back at him, and seemed to know exactly what he was thinking. "I'm sorry" she told him softly, "like I said in the car, I wanted to tell you, but I was scared."

That was what hurt the most. She had been too afraid to tell him the truth. Even though Jack knew it wasn't his fault, that was just the way Janet was, that was the way she had always been, scared to open up to others, it still hurt. He didn't really know why, he just knew that it did. "It's alright Honey. I'll get over it." He said with a forced smile, reaching down to pick up his suitcase.

Janet grabbed him, her voice soft as he turned back towards her, "no it's not alight; it's not alright that I hid all of this from you Jack. It's not okay that I've been so hard to get through to all these years and that I've put up so many walls to keep everyone out. I don't have the slightest idea at how you managed to break them or why you've never given up on me. I would have labelled myself as a lost cause if it wasn't for you. How'd you do it Jack? How'd you worm your way so firmly into my life while so many others have failed?"

"Janet" he smiled, "We both helped each other; don't you ever think I broke all those walls down by myself. You were always there to help me when I got in a mess, same as Chrissie and the other girls, but what was different between you and them was that you never left. You're still here, sure Terri is too, but you've been in my life way longer than she has and I trust you more than anyone. And the only way I could think to repay you was to help you break down those walls that for some unknown reason you put around your heart. You were already trying to break them down on your own, even unknowingly. Because you can't live with them holding you back Janet, and it may feel that it's safer with them around you, but frankly life isn't about playing it safe. It's like one of Larry's games of poker. You go all in and risk everything and sometimes you lose and sometimes you win, but no matter how it turns out, either way, you're still happy you played, still happy you grabbed the chance, and if it didn't turn out then better luck next time and you simply try again. But you never play it safe."

Janet was staring at him, absorbing his words, but he could still see doubt in her eyes, she sighed, frustrated, "But not playing it safe, that goes against my nature."

"I know" he told her, "and that's why it's so hard for you to do." Jack reached out and rested his hand on her cheek, "but it's not impossible Janet."

She didn't tense at his touch and he drew her closer, wrapping his hands around her waist and leaning his forehead against hers. This time she stiffened uncomfortably, but didn't pull away. Jack felt his pulse quicken at the closeness between the two of them, his feelings for Janet suddenly raging inside him, making him yearn to kiss her and never let her go. But he couldn't do that, she trusted him. Sighing he closed his eyes, here he was talking about risks and he didn't even have the courage to kiss her. How could he though? She was the one who made that rule of being strictly platonic and even though they weren't in apartment 201 the rule still implied. They couldn't break it, not when it was the thing that had based their friendship in the first place.

Jack opened his eyes, and gazed into her brown ones. She wasn't tense anymore he realized, and her hands were resting on his shoulders. Her eyes held a soft light in them, one even he didn't get to see too often. Janet leaned her head back, so she could see his full face, "Jack, why is it you always know just what to say?" she asked him tenderly, and then a slender smirked spread across her lips, "even if you did compare life to a poker game… I mean come on, how bad of an analogy is that?"

"I was being creative," he replied.

"More like running out of words to me."

They both chuckled, and the heated moment between them was suddenly vanquished. Jack sighed with relief that it had passed, but also, almost unwilling to admit it, he wanted it back too. He wanted to know if she had felt it too or if she had just passed it off as nothing at all. Being that close to her, it had made him light headed, but he couldn't let his feelings get the best of him even if they had put up one heck of a fight. Because at the end of the day she was still Janet Wood and he was still Jack Tripper, and they were still best friends, he didn't want to lose that just because he couldn't contain his emotions. After having her in his life for so long, Jack wasn't sure he could get by without Janet if she ever left.

"Well I think I'll turn in." he said after they had stood in silence, recollecting their thoughts.

Janet nodded, "Sure hon." She gave him a quick hug and kissed his cheek lightly. Walking across the room, she stopped at the entrance and leaned against the doorframe, "oh, the bathroom is down the hall and my room's one door down from that, but just in case you need me I'll be in the wreck room with everyone else."

Jack knew by the look on her face that she couldn't wait to go and talk with her family. Not just pleasant greetings, like at the airport, but heart to heart conversations, and Janet had been away from them for so long he was sure they were all excited to hear what she had to say. "Just don't speak too lowly of me" he warned teasingly, "Wouldn't want to make a bad impression."

"Oh never would I do such a thing!" she said with mock innocence and then winked as she started to close the door.

"'Night Jan." he called as he unzipped his suitcase.

"Goodnight" she grinned, "sleep well."

"You too whenever you decide to go to bed." He told her, "Don't stay up too late; love you." Those last two words weren't really supposed to come out, but they sort of rolled off his tongue naturally and unconsciously. And Jack had to admit he liked the way they sounded as they traveled from his mouth to Janet's ears. They seemed perfect.

Janet looked at him silently for a few seconds, and then she smiled softly. "Love you too," she murmured as the door shut behind her.

He knew she only spoke out of friendship, but if he could have frozen that moment and then played it over and over, seeing the sincerity on her face and the sparkle in her eyes, Jack thought he would be completely contented. Alone in the room, he collapsed on the bed and kicked off his shoes. Who needed pyjamas anyway? While Jack's mind was reeling, his body was exhausted, and with what felt like the remaining of his energy he turned his head towards the fireplace. Staring, he watched as the flames jumped and danced in the hearth, sparks flew occasionally as the fire licked the wood and popped the sap bubbles that still rested on the freshly cut logs. The heat the fireplace gave off warmed Jack to the core, making him truly believe he would never be cold again. As he sank into waiting dreams the fire blazed on, ever going and ever hopeful, just like his beating heart…

_::_

Janet walked slowly so she wouldn't fall down the stairs as she paid hardly any attention to where she was going. Her feet seemed to move forward drowsily as if they were enchanted by fairytale magic to do so and she gripped the railing lightly, on the off chance that they slipped out from underneath her. The reason she was giving so little attention to herself physically was because she was using almost all focus she had for pondering. Janet had never liked that word: pondering, it sounded like a type of fungus or toadstool, but alas that was exactly what she was doing, pondering. Thinking about two things, one: her family, and two: Jack, no surprise there. Her family was in her thoughts because as her footsteps brought her ever closer to the wreck room she knew she'd have to face their many questions, some she would gladly answer, and some not-so-much. Her mother would also be down there too, and Janet knew she expected a very well thought out explanation as to why her daughter hadn't visited in over seven years, and frankly Janet didn't have one. Even the thought of her mother made her teeth clench and her fists ball up into tight little punching bags; she didn't want to talk to her and she definitely didn't want to look at her. Janet was secretly relieved that the only facial feature she had inherited from her mother were her eyes, and she had to admit the brown went very well with her dark hair.

Jack was on her mind because of the events that had just token place merely minutes ago. Her mind seemed to be a broken record, replaying their conversation again and again until it made her head hurt. His voice echoed through out her soul, racking the barriers around Janet's heart and sending chills down her spine. _Its not impossible Janet_. What exactly did he mean by that? Was he still talking about living life and not playing it safe, or were his words pointed in another direction, the same one she had been on as he had held her close. It had taken all the strength she had to restrain from closing the distance between them completely; Janet almost let her heart take control back there, something that scared her to death. How could she let these feelings for Jack get in the way like this? Why now; why hadn't she ever felt this way before?

Even as the endless list of questions swirled through her she couldn't help but wonder if there was more than simply friendship between herself and Jack. After all this time and all the misunderstandings they had gone through together it must be possible. But possible or not Janet could never do it, give into her feelings, even if Jack felt the same way about her. Because he was Jack and she was Janet, there wasn't any need for an explanation. They were friends, they always had been, they were now, and they always would be. If something else happened between them, then they'd be risking it all, and she couldn't risk her friendship with him, it was simply too important.

As she reached the bottom of the staircase Janet turned towards the right and walked past the kitchen, to a new set of stairs that led down to the wreck room. Sighing, she pushed all thoughts of Jack out of the way, not completely out of her mind, but just so she could think relatively clearly for the moment. Janet took timid steps down the stairs, one foot at a time until she stood face to face with the wreck room door. Voices could be heard on the other side and they were all familiar, the voices of her siblings and her father, immediate warmth flooded through her veins. Letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding, she knocked on the door and opened it enough to poke her head through.

"Can I come in?" Janet asked with a smile, examining the faces around her. The wreck room was a large space where everyone went when they were bored or needed to vent off steam, it also made a perfect place for family meetings. There were pluffy chairs and a pool table, and the other half of the room was used as a make shift basket ball court in the winter when the church parking lot was too icy to play on. Her brothers were surrounding the pool table, in the midst of a game, and Jenny was sitting in one of the chairs facing her father and mother as the three of them talked amongst themselves. Lizzie wasn't in sight and Janet figured she probably had headed off to bed long ago. At the sound of her voice everyone glanced up from what they were doing and she felt twelve pairs of eyes focus in her direction, they were all grinning and even her mother had a slight smirk on her face, which was as close as Janet had ever seen her get to a smile.

"Sweetie" her father addressed her lovingly, "you don't even have to ask."

She entered ungainly as they all watched her take up a seat next to Jenny. Slowly the boys lost interest and turned back to their game; Jenny squeezed Janet's hand and beamed at her. "It's about time you came down; we've been waiting around for you forever."

"I just got here a little while ago." She told her.

Jenny frowned, "yeah what happened? You and Jack were supposed to follow right behind the van, but you guys disappeared."

Janet blushed at the conversation she and Jack had in the car, "We pulled over for a bit; we needed to… discuss a few things." How else could she put it? She couldn't just come out and inform them that the reason they had stopped on the side of the road was because Jack was so blisteringly mad that she hadn't taken the chance in over seven years to fill him in about them hardly at all. Janet couldn't tell them that.

"Alright if you don't want to talk about it then that's fine…" Jenny shrugged. A pang of guilt stabbed Janet lightly, the reaction she knew Jenny wanted to get from her. Jenny was sly, but she knew her sister too well to fall for her guilt tricks anymore, and so she simply looked at her smugly, "it's not going to work" she told her. Jenny huffed in reply.

Her father sat forward, folding his hands in his lap comfortably, "so Janet I believe it's time to explain yourself" he chuckled lightly, the softness in his voice reassuring her that he held no anger towards her and the seven year absence.

However her mother was a different story, she glanced at Janet almost darkly with an amused expression. "This ought to be good." She mumbled almost incoherently.

Janet shifted in her chair, suddenly extremely uncomfortable. "Well…" she began slowly, grasping for the right words and wishing Jack was beside her to help her out. Somehow things were always easier when he was around. "I've been working a lot lately, to pay off the rent each month, and it seems like I've just been lost in my own little world. I mean we've been struggling financially since day one, nothing major or anything like that, but it's been quite a time consuming problem…"

Wow, did that just sound as lame as she thought it sounded? Janet confirmed by the looks on their faces that yes, it did. "And" she continued, racking her brain for ideas, "you should just meet our landlords!" Janet exclaimed, feeling unreasonably thankful for the Ropers and Mr. Furley at that moment, "they're horrible people. Strict and against any noise whatsoever, once we tried to throw a party and Mr. Roper almost threw us out; and don't even get me started on how he treated Jack just because he thinks he's gay."

All eyes bugged out of their heads at her statement, and even Raymond, Kyle and Gaige looked up at her, their attention finally grabbed. "Oh, no he's not really gay." Janet corrected, "It's just an act we play so Jack can stay in the apartment."

They all sighed with relief. "So then" her father said, "tell us about Jack, you've always said so much about him over the phone, but now that you two are here there's got to be more to talk about."

The triplets abandoned their pool game and sat down as well, they obviously wanted to know just what she had to say. Janet bit her lip, unsure where to begin. "Jack is… stubborn." She informed them with a smile, "and sometimes vain, he can be very difficult, and well… basically he's just like any other guy." Her brothers frowned. "But he's also sweet and loyal, and even though he has his downs he has his moments as well. You never know what exactly will come out of his mouth, but he's always got something to say or something that's on his mind." Janet knew her smile had turned tender and gentle as she spoke "Jack's a great person, if your down, he brings you back up … and he's there when everyone else in your life isn't…" She finished quietly, letting her gaze settle on each of them in turn trying to make them see just how important his friendship was to her, trying to show them that she was okay, that she was being taken care of, that her and Jack _both _were being taken care of, by each other.

Silence invaded the room and weighed heavily on everyone's shoulders, all in the midst of thought. Raymond was the first one to break the stillness, "He seems like a nice enough guy." Kyle and Gaige nodded in agreement and Jenny grinned, "Plus he's handsome." She threw in.

"That helps," Janet chuckled.

All smiling, it seemed as if the Wood family had been successfully reunited again after all this time, something Janet had thought was impossible. She knew there was still a long way to go, but at least they made a dent tonight. With them all surrounding her she felt like a kid again, back to the days when everything seemed so simple and when life didn't have its many complications. Complications that involved sandy blond headed roommates with sparkling blue eyes and who went by the last name of Tripper. Sighing, Janet hauled herself to her feet, she was too tired to keep her eyes open let alone keep talking. "Need sleep." She mumbled to them groggily.

Her father nodded, "yes you do. You had a long day today and perhaps an even longer one ahead of you tomorrow." He hugged her warmly and whispered in her ear an old line of Italian from her childhood, "Buona notte il mio innamorato, ha lasciato i vostri sogni essere riempito della caramella di cotone e delle mele dorate."

She grinned and rubbed her eyes sleepily. "Ti amo papà, buona notte" Janet replied in her broken Italian, she wasn't quite sure if she said 'goodnight dad' or 'frog faced father', she was too tired to care. Waving to the rest of them she then turned towards the door. She slumped forward lazily and tripped over a pool ball in the middle of the floor, luckily Jenny was close enough to catch her before she hit the ground. "I think" Jenny said, helping her to her feet, "I should make sure you don't fall up the stairs."

Janet yawned, "That's silly; I've heard of falling down the stairs but never up them. How do you fall 'up' the stairs?" Not watching where she was going, she walked face first into the door.

Jenny rolled her eyes and opened it for her, keeping a hand on Janet's arm she led her carefully upwards, "I don't know, but you'd find a way." She told her as they headed to her bedroom. "So…" Jenny said casually when they were out of earshot, breaking Janet out of her attempt to fall asleep while walking, "what exactly do you think of Jack anyways?"

Janet's eyes flew opened, and she peered over at her sister questionably, suddenly very much awake. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean," Jenny smirked, nudging her with her elbow. "You like him?"

It was meant as another question, but hit Janet like a statement as if she was trying to say 'don't lie to me you bird brain, I know exactly what's going on'. Janet sighed, she'd like to know what was going on too; it seemed like everyone knew what was happening between the two of them except her and Jack themselves. "He's my best friend Jenny; I'm not allowed to have a best friend?" she asked.

Jenny nodded, completely ignoring Janet's quarry, "I see its complicated isn't it?"

Janet remained silent, groping for words to fire back at her but coming up empty.

She stopped at the top of the staircase, "I suppose it would be" Jenny mused, almost as if Janet wasn't there, "being friends for so long and then suddenly having feelings for each other. The one person you trusted the most would be the one who's tearing your heart apart…"

Damn. How'd Jenny ever get so smart? She figured her whole situation out in a span of a minute's conversation. Janet shot her sister a dark look.

"I know" Jenny told her smugly, "Its surprising that someone of my age could be _that_ deep."

"Yes, you're very profound" Janet replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

Her sister smiled, "but you didn't say I was wrong. So I have to assume that I guessed correctly and you are in fact falling, quite desperately I might add, for Jack."

Janet sighed; she knew the gig was up. Apparently she wasn't very good at hiding how she felt, or Jenny was just an expert match-maker of some kind. "Honestly" she took a slow breath, "I don't know what's going on. Jack's my friend, I've always turned to him when I had problems, and I love him. But lately, I don't know, he's not just Jack anymore, he's something more. I feel like I would do anything for him or let him take me anywhere, just as long as I can stay beside him." Janet moaned at what a mess this was all turning out to be, "What's happening to me?"

Jenny put a hand on her shoulder, "You've got to live Janet, stop worrying about every little thing, sometimes they work out better when you don't worry about them at all." She turned towards the stairs, getting ready to leave, "just remember sis, chances are if you're feeling something then you're not the only one."

With the information she was looking for Jenny departed, hopping merrily down the steps, contented that she had accomplished so much in so little time. Janet watched her go, her eyebrows narrowed into a sharp 'V'. She was angry. Angry that Jenny could get so much out of her, angry that it was so bloody late and she was so achingly tired, angry that she had feelings for Jack, but even more angry that she had admitted to them. With a groan Janet slumped into her room and landed in a heap on her bed, she grabbed her suitcase at her feet and quickly changed into her worn oversized football jersey that was used as a nightgown. Head throbbing, she rubbed her temples and laid back. She was so wiped out, which was unusual because normally Janet was stocked full of energy, you'd have to be to live in apartment 201. But she had to confess that this day was a day that even the energizer bunny could have gotten tired from. Mentally, physically and emotionally she was so exhausted… and to think that Janet had just arrived.

_::_

_The purpose of life is to live it, _

_To taste experience to the utmost, _

_To reach out eagerly, _

_Without fear, _

_For newer and richer experience. _

_**~ Eleanor Roosevelt **_


	7. Alone Together

Wow! It's been awhile. This chapter is a little long, but be prepared, because all the others after this one will be around this length as well. I was planning when I first started writing to make a short and sweet tale about Jack and Janet, but it's turned out more complicated than I expected. There are a lot of conflicts I feel have to be resolved and sorted through, and this is just the tip of the iceberg. But don't stop reading! I have a feeling that this will eventually end in an amazing way, and I want you to see that happen. Thank you people for the reviews, and thank you people who didn't review but still read the story. I hope that when this is all said and done that you'll be pleased with the final result.

Oh! I almost forgot. The next chapter probably won't be updated until around the middle of November as I will be gone away with family, but don't worry it will come... in time...

Have a great day guys!

**- C.A**

Chapter seven: Alone Together

_Life may not be, _

_The party we hoped for, _

_But while we're here, _

_We should dance. _

_::_

Jack was in a deep sleep, he was sleeping more soundly than he had in what felt like ages. His mind seemed to be swirling and drifting in black darkness behind closed lids as he unconsciously pulled in and out of dreams. Conflict and life's never ending problems had disappeared and his body was relaxed as he dozed, all worries gone. Suddenly Jack felt a slight tingle on his nose, he frowned as his dreams started to flee from him, and the stupid itch was pulling him out of unconsciousness and into the very complicated and very much genuine reality that awaited him. He swatted at it lazily, trying to avoid waking up, but it started again as soon as he took his hand away. Moaning Jack fumbled for the pillow and tried to pull it over top of his head, hoping the itch would take the hint and just leave him alone. But it didn't, this time he could feel it on his cheek, the part that wasn't covered by the pillow. Sighing he grabbed his blankets and threw them completely over him, covering his whole body. There, he wanted to see the itch get through that! A small giggle came from his right side and Jack froze, he knew that voice anywhere. Bubbling and full of sparkling notes that could make his stomach do flip flops when needed or could bring him crashing back down to earth when he required a cold splash of reality.

Drawing himself out of sleep, he reached out over the side of the bed; his fingers came in contact with something warm and soft: her cheek he realized shortly. Jack pushed the covers back from his head and squinted as he opened his eyes, his vision came into focus and he found himself staring back at Janet. She was kneeling by his bed side with a grin plastered on her face, a feather in her hand. With a teasing glare set in her brown eyes; she extended her arm and wiggled the feather against his nose which Jack immediately addressed as the source of the itching.

"Good morning Sleeping Beauty," she teased, retracting her arm.

Janet's hair looked shiny and soft giving him the sudden urge to run his fingers through it. Instead he glanced over at the clock on the bedside table; Jack rubbed his eyes to make sure he was seeing correctly. "Its only 7:45 in the morning!"

Rolling her eyes she nodded.

"Why are we getting up so early, I thought this was supposed to be a vacation or something?" He muttered groggily letting his head fall back against the sheets.

Janet snorted, and moved so that she was perched on the edge of his bed "You can still wake up early on vacation Jack."

"You can," he told her, "but that doesn't mean you should."

She slapped his arm playfully. "Get up," She ordered; standing to her own feet and walking over to the other side of the room she pulled back the curtains. Light flooded the walls and sunshine beamed onto the floor, blinding Jack momentarily. "Besides" she added as she turned back to him, "Humans weren't meant to go to sleep late and wake up late, they were made to sleep in the evening and wake up early; that's why the sun rises so soon in the morning."

Groaning, Jack hauled himself out of bed. "This isn't fair," he murmured to her as he stretched out his arms and yawned. She shrugged, obviously not interested in his opinion. Why were girls always like that he wondered, all full of energy and just expecting men to be the same way? With no reasonable explanation, Jack grabbed his suitcase and began groping through it searching for new clothes.

Janet tucked the feather behind her ear and started making his bed; she hummed an unfamiliar tune as she pulled the covers over the mattress and placed the pillows neatly on top. He wondered absently where she had found the feather in the first place, he pointed at it, "Where did you get that?"

She fingered it gently as she responded, "I found it outside this morning."

"Outside? Just exactly how long have you been up?" he asked, surprised she was even in such a good mood. Janet could be quite a grump in the mornings, and the start of each day back at the apartment usually consisted of many incoherent grumblings and moans from her part.

She shook her head, "Long enough to eat, get dressed, and take a walk."

"Since when do you walk?" Janet threw him an annoyed glare which he knew he deserved from that comment, but it was true. Jack had never seen her go for a walk, not ever. She had attempted to jog one day but she'd come back practically on the urge of hyperventilating and Jack remembered having to hold a paper bag to her mouth for an hour or so after that.

"Actually," she said sheepishly, "it wasn't really a walk; I just sort of took out the garbage."

Jack pulled out a pair of pants and a t-shirt from his suitcase before zipping it back up again, he turned to glance over at Janet who was busy making his bed. He smiled, she was always trying to do everything, even if it wasn't her mess to begin with she still needed to lend her hand and try to work her magic. Feeling his eyes on her she looked up and smiled before returning to hauling the sheets over the bed.

"So why the early wake up call anyway?" he asked, heading towards the direction of the washroom.

Janet shrugged, "you told me yesterday that I could show you around. I think we should get a head start, Alton doesn't really have that many buildings, but it's not the buildings I want to show you, the outdoors is the best part. I hope you've got some sneakers Jack, there's going to be a lot of walking involved."

Jack stopped his trail to the bathroom when he heard the word 'walking'. Janet noticed his pause and smirked, she knew he wasn't very fond of any physically exercise either... well at least nothing that didn't involve chasing after girls. And since his heart had taken on its own spaced out personality lately he knew there wouldn't be any of that. Janet was the only person who had succeeded in elevating the rate of his pulse in days, and usually falling for your best friend wasn't a very positive situation to be in. Sighing at the jumbled emotional mess he was in, Jack told himself that maybe a long walk was just what he was in need of after all.

"Plus I could also make you breakfast." Janet told him, she finished fluffing up the last pillow and joined him at the doorway.

Jack had to laugh, "I'll go on a walk with you Jan, that's no problem, but please no breakfast. I don't feel like being poisoned today." She rolled her eyes and he grabbed her shoulders, hauling her closer to kiss her cheek. Smiling, he let her go and headed off in the direction of the bathroom, or so he hoped. This house was just too big to adjust to overnight, it was three stories high not including the attic or the wreck room and Jack was used to the living conditions of a two bedroom apartment. He wondered lightly if Janet felt the same way, seeing as she hadn't been here in so long. But that was something Jack didn't want to actually ask her, he wasn't sure her reaction would be so great. Perhaps some other time when she was in a better mood, or had a few drinks, which ever came first. Though he highly leaned towards the better mood, he'd never seen Janet even slightly intoxicated during the whole period of time they'd been roommates, and Jack doubted that he ever would.

Reaching the washroom, he grabbed a face cloth and scrubbed the sleep from his eyes. He peered into the mirror and flattened his hair into its usual straight style, not even bothering with a brush. Jack caught a glance of the window behind him through the mirror and from between the blinds there were streams of sunshine poking through. He turned around and pried the window open, and pushing the blinds aside he stuck his head through. The scene that awaited him squeezed his breath away as he stood there in awe. This was the first time since his arrival he actually attempted to take in the view, and Jack gasped.

From where he was on the third floor he could gaze over the tall pine trees and about a kilometer away see the little group of small houses that formed most of Alton, as well as the church that sat proud and dignified upon the hill overlooking the town with an almost loving glare. To his right the forest stretched on and on for miles, thick vegetation all leafy and green with the hint of late spring still in the air. Above, the sky was a light blue with large white clouds floating peacefully here and there. And if Jack squinted hard enough he could make out three lumps upon the horizon, almost looking like green ocean waves preparing to crash down on the land. Remembering the conversation he and Janet had in the car the night before he immediately identified them as the Rolling Hills. But maybe what caught his eyes the most was the sparkling deep blue lake that started only about two hundred feet away from the house. It was relatively small and formed a circular shape with a smaller circular shape on the end of the lake. And sitting in the center of the smallest circle was a little bout of land, like a miniature island with only about five pine trees and the rest was thick grass.

How had Jack not seen the lake last night? But he supposed when he thought about it he wasn't really looking for it in the first place, and by not bothering with what surrounded him he had ignored what was right under his nose. He did that often, not just with his eyes, but with his heart as well. Not caring to stop and look at what was right in front of him, or rather _who_ was in front of him. His feelings for Janet, did they tie together with this? For the past seven years had he just pushed her aside, and hadn't bothered with what was standing beside him, now were his eyes finally opening? Was he finally realizing just how important she was to him?

Head spinning, Jack pulled away from the window and closed it firmly, his face set in a frown as he faced the mirror once more. This time he looked at himself critically, examining each of his flaws, not in his appearance, but rather as he stared intently into the piece of glace he examined every single little thing about who he was that bothered him. Yes, he was damaged at best, but obviously Janet had already figured that out; he always tried to be guarded around her, but instead Jack was an open book. And same with her, well sort of. At least he could read her better than anyone else, although that didn't mean he knew her completely. Had he really token Janet for granted? She had always been there in the past, but in the future... would she still be?

He wanted her to be there, because when Jack looked at himself standing alone in front of the mirror he saw a lost stranger, a confused soul who wasn't at all familiar. But when he pictured Janet next to him, her face glowing with her beaming smile, one hand perched on her hip casually, and the other gripping his he saw the Jack he knew. A content and grinning man who seemed to have the whole world going for him.

He needed Janet, and he absolutely couldn't let her go. No one would take her away, he could never give her up so easily, because if she was gone, so would be half of his own self. He wouldn't take her for granted any longer Jack decided simply, he'd show her how important she was, and make a stand before it was too late. He'd spent seven years wasting what was right under his nose, now with seven days ahead of him to spend in Indiana Jack Tripper planned to get it all back, and that 'it' was Janet Wood.

_::_

Janet tied the lacings of her hiking boots slowly, deep in thought. She didn't think her father had kept them after she had moved out, but here they were. They still fitted almost perfectly, except just a tad tight at the ends, not that they had any reason to be, her feet hadn't grown since she was in middle school. They had stayed at a sad size four, but Janet was actually thankful her feet hadn't had a growth spurt, because if that had happened it would've been the only part of her that did. There was one thing worse than being short, and that was being short and having big feet.

Standing, she faced Jack who was waiting for her rather impatiently. It was surprising that he was suddenly so excited to go for a walk at eight forty-five in the morning; he had rushed anxiously through breakfast and had wolfed down his bowl of cereal faster than Janet thought possible. Seeing that she was ready he grabbed her coat out of the closet and threw it in her direction, Janet missed the catch and picked it up off the floor and tied it around her waist.

It was too hot to wear a coat, but she brought one just in case a cold chill decided to show its face, something that happened pretty often in Indiana, or at least from what she remembered... Jack copied her move and tied his sweater around his waist hastily. Janet grinned, "Why so excited?" she asked him as he reached towards the doorknob.

Jack stopped short and looked up at her, he seemed like he was at a loss for words, "Just... want to get moving I guess." Before she could question him he swung the door opened and motioned for her to go through. Brushing off his strange demeanor Janet led the way out of the house. Closing the door behind him, Jack caught up to her as they walked down the driveway, "Where is everyone?"

"Good question," Janet said as she tried to recall just what Raymond had told her about where her family was headed for the day. "Dad's gone to the closest town with a grocery store; our convenient store doesn't really have very many choices. Mom" her jaw clenched at the word, "has decided to go pay a visit to the relatives. Lizzie has school of course. Raymond, Kyle, and Gage," she shrugged," are somewhere; no one ever really knows exactly where they're headed. And Jenny took Kyle's car to New Albany to see her boyfriend."

Jack coughed, "Boyfriend?"

"Mhm," Janet nodded, she knew her sister wasn't exactly what you'd call an adult in full yet, Jenny was still young and had just finished university. Although Janet had to admit her little sister had always been quite mature for her age, sometimes even more mature than herself. After all she had tricked Janet into admitting about her feelings for Jack in less than five minutes. "She seems pretty crazy about him too," she informed Jack, "You should see some of the letters she wrote to me about him, there's one where she went on for two pages just about his hair!"

Jack whistled with a slight grin, "Looks like little Jenny's got it bad."

"Yup"

"So tell me, how'd she manage to nab a man before her big sister did?" he questioned, poking her in the ribs with his elbow.

Janet shrugged with a long put on sigh, "That's just the way the world works I guess."

Chuckling at her dramatic attitude, Jack directed his gaze downwards to his feet. They walked in silence for a while, Janet wasn't really concentrating on anything in particular; she just let her mind wander. "Why do you think that is?" he inquired suddenly.

"Why what is?" she asked, not completely following.

"Why… you haven't found anyone yet."

Her attention caught, she glanced up at him and found his eyes trained on hers. It was such a simple question, a question that deserved an equally simple answer, but the intensity in his blue eyes told her that a simple answer wouldn't satisfy him. "I don't know." Janet faltered, "Someday maybe I will."… _Or maybe I already have. _The whisper echoed throughout her head, and Janet bit her tongue as her heart hammered inside of her. And as much as she wanted to deny it there was a partial truth to that bold thought, that lost call of hope that wrung in her ears. Maybe the man walking beside her was that 'someone' she had been searching for all along. Finally tearing away from Jack's profound gaze, she glared ahead, seeing the end of the driveway. "You're not exactly one to talk" she told him pointedly, referring to his continually unsuccessful strike out at love and his playboy manner, "I wouldn't say you're a very good example."

Jack smiled, but she didn't know if he found her teasing amusing, or her ever defensive and stubborn disposition. His seriousness gone, his eyes were bright again; "I guess we're both pretty unlucky then."

Janet nodded in agreement, "Unfortunately." She glanced over at him shyly, "but… at least we have each other."

"Always." He reassured her, covering her hand with his own. Warmth flooded through her at his touch. Their conversation seemed to have come to an end and so they moved wordlessly down the road that led into the center of Alton. When they reached the first row of houses Janet hauled Jack over to an over grown path leading into the woods. He glanced at her with a baffled expression.

"I don't want to grab any attention," she explained, "we'll get enough of that tonight at supper, dad's throwing a pot-luck and the whole town will more than likely be there. If we take this trail, we'll pass around the houses and hopefully unnoticed"

Jack rolled his eyes and smiled, "goodness Janet, I always thought you were a people person, it looks like I was wrong."

"I am a 'people person'," she quipped with a small huff, "but if you want me to show you around without any distractions then we've got to skip the people for now."

"Oh don't play dumb with me; you just want me all to yourself." His eyes twinkled mischievously.

Sighing, Janet shoved him down the path, "you wish."

The path was narrower than she recalled and they were forced to walk with only a hair's breath between them. Her arm kept brushing against his accidentally, causing a small case of goose bumps to erupt along her back. Janet did her best to push the ever present thoughts of Jack out of her head, but it was even more difficult while he was in such close proximity. The path was overgrown, and the branches of large pine trees passed overhead, blocking out most of the light. Only scattered rays of sun made it through the dense canopy and down to their level. Twigs and dead leaves snapped and crackled beneath Janet's feet.

The stillness hung in the air like a thick fog. Mother Nature seemed to be trying to hush the world, leaving it deathly quiet and eerily silent. Beside her, Jack stiffened uncomfortably; he wasn't used to the peace the forest could bring. However, if anything Janet relaxed with the stillness, this was the world she was used to, she may have been away from it for a long time, but she could never lose the feeling that came with walking between the trees. It was embedded in her soul, and as they progressed farther it seemed to awaken from a deep sleep. Janet suddenly felt incredibly calm, as if a piece of her had been missing and was finally being restored.

Taking a low breath, Jack spoke softly, obviously trying to preserve the stillness that floated precariously in the air, "It's so quiet. Aren't there any… animals or anything?"

"Just because you can't hear them doesn't mean they're not there." She told him with a smile.

He looked around, "It's beautiful."

"This?" she asked, motioning to the forest, "this is nothing, you haven't seen anything yet."

As if to support her words, the path ended and they submerged out of the forest on the other side of town, the houses were now all behind them. And ahead of them was a set of train tracks. Jack raised an eyebrow. "You have a train… but not a grocery store?"

Janet laughed, "There's no train." She pointed towards the tracks, "they're more than eighty years old; at some point there was a train station, but that was way before my family ever moved here." She crossed over the tracks and Jack followed, on the other side was a weathered sign standing beside another path leading into more woods. This trail was much wider than the first, and Janet gave Jack the time to make out the chipped writing on the sign.

"… Alton Hiking Trail… 2.4 kilometers…" he read out loud. Jack glanced at her, "let me guess, that's where we're headed."

"You bet cha" she nodded, starting for the trail. He wasn't far behind; there was a slight gleam in his eyes Janet realized happily. It gave her a great feeling to know he was actually enthusiastic about letting her show him her world, a world she'd never shared with anyone ever before. Jack was genuinely interested.

So they started down the trail, disappearing once again from view. Their pace was slow, if she had been alone Janet would have liked to walk a little faster, but with Jack she felt absolutely comfortable at keeping her footsteps lolled and soft. It was almost like a saunter. Their paces were timed perfectly. The trail made a steady climb upwards, practically unnoticed, although after a while Janet could feel the strain the slope made on her calves. Jack must have felt it in his legs as well because he started to slow down somewhat. "Come on Jack," she breathed and pulled ahead of him, forcing him to catch up, "almost there."

Taking her word for it, he followed. After a few minutes they reached the end of the trail, she watched as Jack looked around with bewilderment. The path ended abruptly, there was no breathtaking view she knew he had expected, just trees and bushes in front of them. "A dead end?" Jack asked disappointedly.

"Maybe," Janet told him, walking forward and pulling back one of the branches, revealing sunlight shining through from the other side of the trees, "Or maybe not." She stepped through and held the branch back so that Jack could do likewise. She heard a small gasp escape his lips as he seen what awaited them on the other side.

They were on the ledge of a cliff, it was what the hiking trail had been secretly leading up to, but few ever got to see it. Most didn't take the time to peer past the branches and so they missed what was right under their noses. The ledge was about two meters wide and covered with patches of green grass, and the cliff itself had to have a sudden steep drop of at least a hundred feet. It gave a clear cutting panorama view of not only Alton, but of forests, and hills, and the sparkling blue lake, and the church which seemed to stand upon an anthill compared to how high they were up. Her driveway was visible, and so was the family house that rested alone and quite separate from all the other homes. The broken and rusted train tracks that stretched around the small village seemed to outline Alton perfectly from the wild and rugged wilderness that ran on and on for as far as the eye could see.

"Holy… crap!" Jack let out and laughed excitedly as he peered at the scene before him, "this is even better than the view from the bathroom window!"

Janet looked over at him, confused. What was he talking about? She decided to not bother asking, and she strutted over to the edge of the cliff, wanting a better look. Sure, she had been up here countless times before, previous to when she moved out this was where Janet had always come to think, but the scene just never got old. Suddenly, Jack grabbed her shoulder, yanking her away from the edge protectively.

"What are you doing?" he demanded, hauling her back, he looked a little hot under the collar, "Are you stupid? If you fall off of that, or even slip, you're dead Janet!"

Janet shook her head and twisted out of his tight grip. "This isn't my first trip up here Jack; this whole place is where I used to live you know! I know exactly what I'm doing." She didn't mean to sound angry, but Janet knew her tone was harsh by just seeing the look in Jack's eyes. She growled inwardly, _gosh Janet; he's just trying to make sure you're safe. _But being as stubborn as she was she went right back to the ledge and sat down on a patch of grass with her feet hanging over the edge, just to get on his nerves. "And if you're looking for stupid, try yourself," she snapped. Expecting to see a flash of annoyance in his eyes, Janet glanced over at him, but all she saw was concern and a small hint of humor at her heated behavior. His cool attitude raised her temper even higher, and she turned away from him, glaring out over the ledge.

She could hear his footsteps as he approached her and from the corner of her eye she could see Jack take a seat uneasily beside her. He hung his legs over the edge as well, but precariously; almost as if he didn't trust himself and thought that at any minute he would suddenly go toppling over the cliff. With good reason, he was Jack Tripper after all. Jack waited patiently for her temper to dwindle down, and said nothing. It was something Janet knew he had learned to do over the years they had been roommates, sit silently and wait while she cooled off.

Finally, when Janet felt like she was capable of talking again she sighed softly in resignation, giving Jack the sign that her little bout of hot air was over. It was one of the things about her that she knew he loved; she could never stay mad for long it was simply against her personality. The only person she had ever held a grudge at was her mother. This was good, seeing as how many times Janet had been exasperated with Jack in the past.

She looked at him, "Sorry for that little explosion."

"It's alright," Jack told her as he draped his arm around her shoulders, "I'm used to it by now."

Janet glared at him.

"Not that you get mad often." He corrected quickly.

She relaxed against him, leaning her head on his shoulder. Janet tried to push away her feelings for Jack but no matter what she did they always found a way to resurface. Like now, as Jack's hand slipped down to her waist she felt her heart skip a beat. Dumb heart, what did she need one for anyways… okay, so maybe it was a major source of life, but it could also be a major source of pain as well. Knowing there was something you couldn't have, no matter how bad your heart wanted it, needed it, it was heartbreak warfare.

"What time is it?" Janet asked, trying to keep her mind busy.

Jack shifted so he could peer over at his watch, "it's almost twelve."

She did the math. They had been out for more than two hours, but it didn't seem like even half that long to her. Go figure, time always had a way of flying by whenever she was with Jack. Janet looked out at the view of Alton, drinking it in, "It is quite pretty isn't it?"

"Beautiful." He agreed, but Jack's gaze wasn't on the scenery, it was on her. He grinned as he watched her blush. Ruffling her hair, Jack turned his eyes back to the view she had actually been referring to. Janet let the compliment slide by as the redness in her cheeks subsided, but inside she was pretty sure everything had melted like chocolate in the sun.

"So what's a potluck?" He asked stochastically. From where her head was resting on his shoulder Jack noted her confused stare and explained, "You said earlier that your dad was having a potluck tonight. What is it?"

Janet nodded, "Oh. Well, it's a supper where you invite people to your house and each person brings a dish of food to share with everyone."

"Isn't that kind of impolite? Inviting people over and then telling them to bring their own food?"

She laughed, "No, its fun. Since everyone more or likely brings a different type of food there's a lot of different things to eat, and the more people you invite the more food there'll be. By the end you have a feast or something close to it at least."

Jack's face took on a focused look as he thought about it. Since he was a cook she knew it would interest him, she however wasn't even able to turn the stove on, and so Janet really could care less about her father's potluck suppers. It was the people who showed up that got her attention, tonight there would be people there she hadn't seen in years. And she couldn't wait to see them all again. "I think," Jack begun with a gleam in his eye, "this 'potluck' wouldn't be complete without something made by your one and only," he pointed to himself, "quelque chose fait par le Tripper, perhaps..."

"You can do whatever your little heart desires." Janet told him with a smile.

"Well in that case…" Jack muttered smugly, wrapping both arms around her and kissing her neck profusely.

"Jack!" she squealed, giggling as she tried to wiggle out of his grasp. His teasing usually made her smirk at his washed up lines and incessant pesky wit, but instead Janet found her stomach doing flip-flops and her hands not pushing him away quite as quickly as they normally did. "Stop!" she demanded with a smile as they teetered perilously close to the ledge of the cliff, "you're gonna make us fall!"

As she squirmed away from him Jack grinned, "Should've thought of that before you chose to sit so close to the edge."

"Well I thought you could control yourself, but obviously I misjudged." She chuckled and stood, brushing the dirt off her pants.

"I was just joking." He pouted as he watched her get up.

She laughed, "Oh, I know hon." Janet reached down and grabbed his hands, hauling him up to his feet as well, "But before we head back to the house I want you to meet someone first, so lets get going."

Jack frowned, "I thought you said you wanted to skip the people?"

"All except one," she informed as they headed away from the ledge and onto the trail again. It didn't seem to take quite as long to go back the way they came, and in no time they were crossing the train tracks again. Instead of going to the other path that led around the houses, she directed their footsteps to the first small house on the left. It was shabby, only one story high, and its green paint was chipping and crumbling. The home was in dire need of repairs. Smiling, Janet knock on the screen door, there was a hustle as someone moved around inside and then the curtains were pulled over the windows.

"If it's a salesman, we're not interested!" called a grated voice.

Jack smirked and Janet chuckled, "We're not here to sell anything."

"Well…" the voice told them gruffly, "if you're a police man I can explain about not paying the speeding ticket, you see, it wasn't my fault, I left my bifocals at home that day and-"

"Aunt Dorothy!" Janet interrupted, "we're not interested in your ticket, and I don't recall you owning any glasses anyway..."

There was a long pause before they heard the scuffling of feet against carpet. "It can't be," the woman breathed excitedly from inside the house, "oh, but I'd recognize that voice anywhere!" Suddenly, the door flew open, smacking Jack full in the face as he fell off the front steps with a painful cry. Janet barely noticed his fall; her attention was directed to the older woman standing in front of her. "Well if it isn't my little Janet!" she exclaimed, grabbing Janet and hauling her into a bone crunching hug.

Janet returned the hug just as cheerfully, leaning back only so she could look her in the eyes. Dorothy was a tall woman, which made the two of them look even more out of place standing next to each other with Janet's short stature. She had dark brown eyes that twinkled mysteriously, almost as if they had a great story to tell, which Janet knew they did. Dorothy's hair was cropped short, puffed into gray curls atop her head; her clothes were baggy and a small purse was swung over her shoulder. Janet smiled as she looked at her; nothing had changed about the woman standing before her than what she remembered, except for maybe a few extra wrinkles engraved into Dorothy's cheeks. "How are you Aunt Dorothy?" she asked tenderly, "you look absolutely no different!"

"Oh honey, I can't say the same for you!" Dorothy smiled happily, "You've changed so much, look at your hair, all long and straight; you look so much older and wiser than I can ever remember. And your eyes, sweetheart, how much make-up do you have on?" she placed a hand on the side of Janet's face, "But there's that smile, that sweet smile that has always been there since you were just a little girl. It's the one thing about you that will never change."

They stood there with silly grins plastered into their faces, standing in each other's presence for the first time in years. Finally, Jack, who had managed to stumble back up the steps from his little tumble, cleared his throat loudly. "Oh Aunt Dorothy," Janet said, smiling as she stepped back and motioned to Jack, "This is Jack Tripper, my-"

"Roommate." Dorothy finished, "The kid that lives with you, yes I've heard all about him from your letters." She peered at Jack with a raised eyebrow; her gaze was pointed and critical as she examined him closely. Janet watched as he stared back uneasily. "So, you're the ripper that's been living with my innocent niece?"

Janet went wide eyed at her accusation.

"Well I wouldn't call Janet 'innocent' exactly, ha…" Jack stammered, trying to make a joke, but when Dorothy didn't even flinch he gave up and gulped. "Yes ma'am, 'Jack the Ripper'. That would more than likely be me."

Her stare was grounding Jack, Janet could tell just by the look on his face, but Dorothy didn't give an inch. Struggling to keep eye contact, Jack coughed nervously. After an intense minute of silence Dorothy turned back to Janet and suddenly smiled brightly. "I like him." She told her somewhat contentedly, "If you had to pick one man in Santa Monica to share an apartment with, I must admit, you made the right choice."

Janet couldn't believe what she was hearing, her Aunt liked Jack? Well, that was unexpected. Actually, so far her entire family had seemed to accept him easily enough, Janet had thought it would be a whole lot more difficult than that. Apparently she had taken for granted what the word 'family' really meant.

Jack seemed just as stunned as her at his sudden acceptance from her aunt; he extended his hand and grinned politely, "Well thank you, its not-"

"Shut it" Dorothy interrupted with a wave of her hand, "I said I didn't hate you, not that you had permission to speak."

Jack shut his mouth quickly and glanced over at Janet, she shrugged back with a slight smirk on her face.

Dorothy looked at her and then Jack in turn, "you two are probably starving to death, come in and I'll see what I can fix up to eat."

"Actually," Janet explained, "there's a big potluck tonight, we're holding out for that. We just wanted to drop in and say hello. You are coming, aren't you?"

Dorothy nodded, "of course, I wouldn't miss it for the world. After all it is your welcome home party. But you can eat more than twice a day you know honey, life isn't all about diets and cutting back, although that's probably all they talk about in that crazy city of yours."

Janet let that teeny insult pass by; she didn't have the energy to argue. Noticing Jack's pleading stare she shook her head, "Sorry Aunt Dorothy, but we really should go help get everything ready for the supper tonight."

"Well alright," she consented, "I suppose it would be nice for you two to lend a hand. Come here sweetheart." She wrapped her arms around Janet again and pulled her into another hug, Janet could almost feel her bones cracking. "You take care now, I'll see you tonight."

"Okay," Janet muttered, finally managing to tear away from the embrace. She checked to make sure all her needed organs weren't squished into mush and inhaled a huge breath, she felt as if her lungs were giving out on her. Beside her, Jack glanced down at Janet smugly.

"Nothing broken?" he whispered in her ear.

She shook her head and put a smile on for her aunt.

"It's so nice to see you again Janet." Dorothy beamed happily, "Alton just isn't complete without you."

"Its great to see you too, but hey, don't say goodbye. You're going to see me again later on tonight after all."

Her Aunt put a hand on her shoulder, "Yes but promise me you'll come visit again before you leave next week, and let me actually feed you like a normal guest."

Janet laughed, "Sure, as long as you make your famous ginger cookies."

"That can be arranged." Dorothy then glanced over at Jack and reached out her hand, letting him shake it. "Well young man," she addressed him in a curt and short fashion, "It's nice to have finally met you."

"And you too." He told her, even though Jack had never heard of her Aunt Dorothy until before she had opened the door.

They turned to leave and were halfway down the steps before Dorothy called out. "Oh, and Jack?"

"Yeah?"

She smiled, but it wasn't necessarily a happy one, "If I find out you've laid one finger on my niece, I swear I'll skin you alive. Well… toodles!" And with that the door slammed shut behind her.

Shocked, Jack stared down at Janet, and then together they both burst out laughing. She knew her Aunt was eccentric, very much so, just to the point that many had almost considered her bordering on the line of insanity in the past. But Aunt Dorothy was special, she had always managed to be there for Janet through out her life in Alton, when she was a child, when she was growing up, and when nobody else was there to comfort Janet there had always been Aunt Dorothy to turn to. She had met a lot of people in her life, but there were few that came close to that old lady.

"So why exactly did you want me to meet her?" Jack asked with a grin, "Did you see the look in her eyes when you introduced me? I thought she was going to bite my head off then and there. Are you trying to get me killed Janet?"

"As much as the thought appeals to me sometimes, no I wasn't," she laughed, and then dropped her teasing. They passed back into the tight squeezed path again that led around the rest of the houses. Janet sighed, "I know she's…"

"Crazy?" Jack offered.

Janet rolled her eyes, "_**different**_" she corrected. "But sometimes I feel like she's the only family I have."

He gazed at her confused. "How can you say that when you have five siblings back at home, both your parents, and even more relatives?" Jack demanded. "Janet you're lucky, you have a huge family."

"I know," she told him, "but, Jack what's the sense of having a family when they don't even bother to be there for you when you need them? I moved away when I was nineteen. All I knew was that I didn't want to stay here my whole life, this place, this little dot on the map, its tiny Jack, and I didn't want to be stuck here forever. When I told my family I was leaving of course they didn't like the idea, I didn't blame them for that." She glanced up at him and found his eyes trained to hers, listening closely, knowing it wasn't everyday she shared so much about the past. Janet continued, "I didn't expect them to be happy about the whole idea, but I still expected my parents to at least support their own daughter, I guess I was pretty stupid to think that… after they understood I wasn't going to change my mind my mother gave me three days to pack up, grab a plane ride, and move out. She didn't lend me any money, she didn't give me any advice… she didn't even say goodbye." Janet choked on the last part and Jack suddenly reached out, wrapping his arm around her and hauling her closer as they walked. She felt silly needing his comfort, but welcomed it all the same as she leaned into his shoulder.

For a while Janet couldn't say anything, her breath seemed caught in her throat. Finally she recollected herself, "… Aunt Dorothy was the only person who actually told me anything positive about moving; at the time she seemed to be the only person who actually cared. She said, 'Janet, you listen to me, in this world there are two kinds of people, dreamers and doers. You've got the dream, now become a doer and put that dream into action.' And she told me to go for it, letting me understand that there would be bad days as well as good, but no matter how alone I felt she was always there for me." Janet paused, thinking back. "Aunt Dorothy gave me the hope and courage I needed to break free. Although sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice, I'm the only child in my family who's ever left Indiana, and I didn't just leave my family, but pretty much abandoned them as well. I hardly wrote, I never called, and here we are almost eight years later and this is my first visit back."

Jack was quiet, his arm draped around her almost protectively as they walked. Her heart was throbbing inside her chest; that story always made her hurt, but she knew it was time he knew, Jack deserved that much. The wound the past had left on Janet seemed to have split open again, gushing out pain and sorrow all at once, almost overwhelming her. Her eyes watered helplessly, and a single tear made its way down Janet's cheek, she couldn't remember the last time she had let a tear fall. Jack noticed as she battled with her many emotions and brushed the tear away with his thumb, he ran his hand down the side of her face.

"I know it's all over now," Janet told him softly, "but why does it still have to hurt so much?"

He sighed, "Jan, life hurts sometimes, it was never meant to be fair. We hurt the ones who love us and we love the ones who hurt us. But you're right, it's over now and its time to let go, forgive your family for doing this to you, but most of all forgive yourself." Jack gazed down at her kindly; his eyes were soft and gentle. "Promise me you'll forgive yourself."

She nodded slowly and took a long breath, understanding that Jack was right. She had to stop dwelling in what had already happened, accept that it can't be changed, and let it go.

Jack pressed his lips against hers unexpectedly and Janet felt a tingle run down her spine at the simple peck. He pulled back quickly and winked, giving her his signature 'Jack Tripper' smile. "To make you feel better," he explained.

Janet laughed, feeling that by telling Jack all of this she had somehow managed to begin crossing a bridge that would take her back to healing and down a road full of forgiveness. Two things she had been missing out on for a long time.

"Hon I want you to be happy," Jack said as he squeezed her arm, "I want you to stop thinking that all of this with your family was your fault, because its not. Janet, you're important to me, I need you. Promise me one more thing…"

"What?"

"That no matter what happens, you'll always be here, and don't you ever leave me."

Janet looked up at him, and immediately realized that he wasn't joking, not even a little. He was dead serious. Jack needed her, wanted her beside him, and she had to admit that she needed him as well. They were friends, they could read each others minds, finish each others thoughts, and they knew each other perfectly. These jumbled up emotions she had been feeling for him lately were scary, but Janet would never abandon him, not ever. "I don't plan to," she told him and leaned her head against his arm as they walked on. The two of them were traveling down an unknown path where friendship seemed to be ending and something else, something deeper, was beginning to bloom.

_::_

_Love takes off masks, _

_That we fear we cannot live without, _

_And know we cannot live within._


	8. The Harder They Fall

Okay... so I lied. I told you that I wouldn't update again till the middle of November, but I just couldn't help myself! I'm really happy about where this is all going, this chapter has Jack fully admitting to himself that he loves Janet, so no more self doubt from his end! Yay! But, complications will arise... trust me. It's a good thing that I'm a writer who believes in happy endings.

So, I just wanted to let you guys know that this story is pretty much all pre-written. I'm finished all the sixteen chapters (yes, sixteen!) except one. I guess I felt like I should put that out there since I didn't want you people to think that i'd randomly stop writing halfway through, that's not me. So yeah, normally I'll update every week or so, but don't expect me to post the whole story at once! Where's the fun in that? I want to create suspense, keep the readers on edge. All that good stuff :)

P.S. Thanks for reading, I reallllllyyyyy appreciate it.

**- C.A**

Chapter eight: The Harder They Fall

_Some people come into our lives and quickly go. _

_Some stay for a while, _

_Leaving footprints on our hearts, _

_And we are never, ever the same. _

_**~Flavia Weedn**_

_::_

Jack was in the kitchen cooking for the potluck. It was a huge room filled with the best appliances he had ever seen, and the stove itself must have cost an arm and a leg. There was a massive collection of pots and pans, dishes, spices, herbs, every little thing he could think of was there. All in all Jack was in heaven! He assumed that someone in this house had an unmatched passion for baking to own such a kitchen as this. The only thing missing was Janet; she was upstairs with Jenny helping little Lizzie pick out a dress to wear, and she was also getting ready herself. Apparently Alton held their dinner parties very seriously for such a tiny town. Jack was wearing dress pants, a blue flannel shirt, and a brown tie, he knew it wasn't the dressiest thing he owned, but all his nice clothes had been left back in Santa Monica with Terri. Terri. He'd have to remind Janet to call her, Jack wondered how lonely she was without them… probably not that much.

He sprinkled seasoning over the chicken sitting in the pan, and then added the sweet 'n sour sauce before plopping it into the oven. He had decided to make Russian Chicken, a recipe that had earned him an 'A' when he had been in culinary school. Jack sighed to himself as he turned on the timer, setting it to the number of minutes his dish had to cook. There, now all there was left to do was wait. Wait for the guests to arrive, wait for the food to be done, wait, wait, and wait. Jack wished Janet was beside him at the moment, he wanted to talk to her, but it wasn't necessarily a conversation he actually yearned for, he would have just settled for her presence. He felt awkward standing there alone, how was it that whenever Janet left, even if it was just to another room in the house she seemed to always take part of him with her?

Andrea emerged into the kitchen; he was dressed in a fancy grey suit. Jack had taken an immediate liking to him; he was a giving person and very kind. He had seemed to accept Jack, and Andrea was the only member of Janet's family who Jack felt comfortable around so far. His brown eyes wandered around the room as he looked for something. "Eh, Jack, have you seen my tie?" Janet's father looked over at the table, and on the counters, "I've seemed to have misplaced it."

"Sorry sir," Jack shook his head, "I haven't."

Andrea glanced over at him, "maybe I left it in the bedroom…" he pondered, and shuffled out of the room. He wasn't even gone a second before his head popped back around the corner. "Whatever you're making by the way smells wonderful Jack." He complimented.

Jack grinned, "Thanks, it's a dish I use on the menu at my restaurant, a customer favorite I guess."

"Yes, well, I'm sure it will be just delicious. Janet's lucky she found a roommate like you, if I recall correctly my daughter isn't very gifted in the kitchen." Andrea chuckled as Jack nodded, "Yes, she takes after me in that way. If you want to talk to a real cook, my wife absolutely adores baking. This kitchen is where she usually spends most of her free time."

So that's who it was. Janet's mother liked to cook. Jack spaced out in thought as Andrea headed upstairs to continue his rampage for his missing tie. Janet's mother, the woman who had kicked Janet out of her own home when she was only nineteen, liked baking. He hadn't gotten to speak to her yet, she had gone straight to her room when she returned from visiting, and Jack wasn't sure he wanted to, to tell the truth. This was the woman who made Janet's jaw clench and her body tense at the thought of her, when Janet spat out the word 'mother' she said it like it was such a bad tasting word that it had gotten stuck on the way out and she almost choked upon it. Jack shuddered, what had this lady done to her? Janet hadn't told him everything; she was revealing herself to him little bits at a time.

Their walk earlier that day was proof of this and was still embedded deep into Jack's memory. The way Janet had guided them through the forest, up to the cliff at the end of the hiking trail, the way she growled at him when he had tried to persuade her from sitting too close to the edge, the way her face glowed when she had introduced him to her aunt, and the way the silent tear had rolled down her cheek as she poured out her heart on the way back. Jack knew there was more to that story to gather such a reaction from Janet, but he didn't press her that never did any good, she'd tell him when she was ready.

He drummed his fingers against the side board, not really paying much attention to the things around him. Perhaps if Jack had, he would have noticed the young man coming up behind him. And so when the man tapped him on the shoulder he jumped practically eight feet in the air and let out a startled cry. Whipping around, Jack saw Raymond standing in front of him, a smirk on his face. He was beginning to identify the triplets better now, Raymond was the slightly taller one, Gage had too many freckles, and Kyle… well Kyle was the relatively normal one.

"Oh…" Jack breathed; putting a hand on his chest to make sure his heart was still beating. "It's just you."

"It's not 'just you'," Raymond corrected him vainly, "its Raymond Drake Wood, the one and only."

Jack chuckled as he leaned against the counter, "Janet never told me how full of yourself you were."

Raymond shrugged. "Hey, someone's got to be born vain, we're not all perfect," he snapped. Jack leaned back from the force of his words, something was definitely bugging Raymond, mood swings like that didn't just happen.

"I didn't say I was perfect."

"You didn't say you weren't either."

Jack rolled his eyes; apparently Janet had failed to mention how annoying Raymond was too, but he kept that thought to himself.

Janet's brother approached the stove and opened the door a little so he could peer in. "Smells good," he noted, although he didn't really say it meaningfully. It was almost as if Raymond was trying to tell him 'yeah, it's alright… I suppose.'

"Thanks." Jack looked down at his feet and stared at the tiled floor absently, not wanting to put up with anything that could sour his good attitude. Maybe Raymond was having a bad day, but he certainly wasn't. Jack was honestly looking forward to meeting all of Janet's relatives, to meet the people who had raised her. It set an excited feeling in the pit of his stomach when he thought about it, made him feel like a giddy lunatic, and he knew Janet was looking forward to tonight as well. Without warning, thoughts of Janet began to run through his head. Her eyes, her smile, her blush when she was embarrassed, how she leaned against his shoulder, her laugh, the smug look she got when she had figured out another one of his stupid lies… His lies; during his lifetime Jack had told many of them, and even more during the last seven years, to all the roommates. But out of each one of them Janet was the only girl who seemed to be capable of calling his bluff each and every time. Jack could never deserve her, she was incredible, and he was… well he was something very opposite to incredible. He sighed slowly and Raymond picked up on his daydreaming.

"Thinking of someone?" he asked.

Jack ignored the comment and glanced at the timer, fifteen more minutes. He didn't want to talk to anyone at the moment, didn't have the energy to use on unwanted conversation. "Look, I'm really busy, maybe your sisters need help upstairs?" He knew the dismissal was frank and rude, but he was desperate.

However, Raymond didn't seem to want to take the hint, "I'm pretty sure they don't need help getting dressed."

"Where are Kyle and Gaige?" Jack asked aggravated.

Beside him, Raymond shrugged, "They're getting dressed too I guess."

Obviously, he wasn't going to budge, so Jack decided if Raymond wouldn't, he would. "I'm going to go to my room until the guests come" he told him as he turned to the doorway, "when the timer goes off just take the chicken out of the oven, okay?"

Jack was halfway out of the room when Raymond suddenly grabbed his arm and swung him around roughly, pinning him against the island in the middle of the kitchen. He crushed his chest with his muscular hand, holding him in place, and making it quite difficult to breathe. Raymond's eyes held an intense blaze to them, a blaze Jack knew if you were close enough to see, then it wasn't a very good thing. "Listen Jack," Raymond said his name as if it was distasteful and bitter, "Janet may live with you, but I'm her brother."

"Yeah," Jack winced as Raymond's fingers dug into him, his brain still hadn't completely registered what exactly was happening, "what's your point?"

Raymond grinded his teeth, "my point is that before you make one wrong move I just thought it would be fair to warn you I can punch the molars out of a guy, and sometimes I even break a nose or two."

His eyes went wide, was that a threat? Jack sincerely hoped not. But what was Raymond saying; he was going to beat him up just because he could? Well, Jack already knew he could! When he had first met Janet's brother yesterday Raymond was polite and humorous, now it was as if Godzilla had been released in the room. "Umm. Did I miss something?"

Raymond whipped Jack up against the cupboard; pressing his back into the knobs and making him cringe in pain. Jack was pretty sure that if he had been able to look down he would have found that his feet weren't even touching the ground. "Don't you dare take advantage of my sister!" He growled, snapping his teeth together like some deranged wild animal. So that was it, Jack's mind finally clicked, Raymond thought Jack was a good for nothing slime ball who took advantage of girls… which sometimes he was, and sometimes he did… but never with Janet! Sure he had played moves on her before, but Jack had quickly learned long ago that she had a deep set fire inside of her, and no one would ever be taking advantage of Janet Wood. Her small stature was just an illusion of what lay just beyond the surface.

"Raymond. I'd never hurt Janet." He exclaimed hotly, and that was true, she was one of the most important people in his life, why would he try to deliberately hurt her? Usually Jack was a… well a wimp when it came to peer pressure and fist fights, but this was different, this was about Janet. His temper seemed to rise to a blistering high. With sudden and intense energy he twisted out of Raymond's grip. "Your sister is my best friend; I would never do anything to harm her. She's just as important to me as she is to you, maybe even more seeing as I've been the one looking out for her these past seven years, not you!"

Raymond faltered at Jack's angered reply, but quickly regained his aggressive demeanor. He clenched his fists, "But I've seen the way you look at her! The way she looks at you! I know exactly what's going on!"

He paused dead in his tracks. "You think we're fooling around, don't you?" Jack asked blandly, his pulse picked up rapidly at the sudden accusation. Raymond, too flushed with fury to do anything else simply nodded.

"Well that's just sick!" Jack snarled his voice raising. He was perilously close to the breaking point, he wanted so bad to just run at Raymond and slam his fist in his face, maybe knock some sense into that empty head of his. "I thought you'd know your own sister better than that!"

Raymond seemed to back down slightly, stunned at Jack's words, the blaze in his eyes dampened. And Jack could tell he had already won this argument. But he wasn't done; he was still enraged that Raymond thought Janet would pull such a stunt. Jack reached out, snapping his wrist so fast it was a blur as he clenched Raymond's collar, hauling him closer. He let the phrases fall out of his mouth like bricks, dropping them hard and fast. "Don't you dare judge her, if you thought for one moment that Janet would do something like that then something's screwed with your head. What's wrong with you! Can't you see? She is as much a part of your family as everyone else; yeah she left… so what! That was years ago, get over it! There's no reason to accuse her of something just because she left this crummy little town!"

They had switched rolls completely, Jack was now the one whose eyes were blazing and Raymond was the trapped individual who was on the rather crappy end of the stick. Jack kept him locked in his grasp, glaring at him with a slightly crazed look, wondering if he should punch him or not. His head logically told him no, but his heart whispered and hissed for him to do it. Do it for revenge, revenge for himself, revenge for Janet, and revenge for all she had went through.

He raised his left hand slowly, curling his fingers into a tight fist. Raymond didn't budge; he seemed to courageously accept the brash punishment he knew he deserved. Jack was preparing to slam his fist down; it would be so easy, so simple. But as he stared madly into Raymond's eyes he noticed that those were the same eyes he gazed at lovingly when he looked at Janet. The same almond color, the same spark, and the same twinkle he was so used to. And then it hit Jack heavily: this man was Janet's brother, someone she loved and had spent years of her life with. Family. He couldn't possibly hurt someone that meant so much to her, even if they had judged her like he had. His fist began to shake and Jack found himself lowering his arm slowly. With trembling fingers he finally released Raymond, and sank against the wall. His adrenaline rush over, they both stood there speechless, breathing heavily. After a while Jack shook his head. He had almost hit that guy; he could've if he wanted to. He would've done it for Janet, but the only thing that had stopped him was knowing that that wasn't what Janet would have wanted. Ashamed that he had practically just attacked her brother, he sighed and looked over at Raymond. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Raymond told him hoarsely, walking over to him shakily and holding his hand out. "You proved your point; I should have never accused her like that," he said timidly, as if in some form of an apology, "Janet's not that type of person, and as much as it doesn't seem like it, deep down I know that. She's a good girl, the best."

"Golden," he agreed, grabbing Raymond's out stretched hand and letting him haul him to his feet. The timer went off behind them. Jack had forgotten all about the chicken and quickly hauled it out of the oven; he set it on a place mat and swiped the steam away with his hand.

Raymond watched him thoughtfully and then took a step closer. "I know being swung around by Janet's older brother wasn't exactly what you had in mind for a vacation."

"A minor set back," he shrugged, not taking an eye off the chicken.

"Yeah," Raymond chuckled, the first smile Jack had seen him make that day, but the air between them was still tense, "hey, Jack, you know… you're alright. Janet's right about you, you're there when she needs you."

Jack pried his eyes away from the food, and met Raymond's gaze, "she said that about me?"

Raymond nodded, "and a whole lot more too, that's one of the reasons I thought… well… you know… that you two were… you know…"

Jack nodded.

"Because she talks so highly of you." He explained to him, "I've never heard Janet say something like that about anyone. She keeps herself so guarded and locked-up."

Jack sighed, "So I've noticed."

Raymond eyed him and smiled, "but not you, she doesn't shut you out. If anything, she welcomes you, have you ever noticed that when you too are together Janet opens up; she's contented with you around. Almost to the point that she needs you so she can be herself."

Jack looked down, was that true? Was Janet more herself when he was around? He'd never picked up on that before, but now that Raymond told him it seemed right, it made sense, because he felt exactly the same way about her.

Raymond grinned at him softly, "Everything's always so complicated isn't it? A minute ago I truly believed you and my little sister were having a worthless and irrational fling, and it drove me mad. Now, I know that's not true, but while you guys aren't guilty, you're certainly not innocent either." Jack looked over at him and Raymond continued, "You two are dealing with something you've never felt before, some messed up form of friendship that's extended itself way too far, if you don't mind me saying. But the weird thing is I'm okay with that. I guess the difference is I know now, after I've seen you defend Janet like that, that it's right. She needs you and you need her… so why not?"

Jack stood dumbstruck, no words came from his mouth, all that hung in the room was silence. "I…it…don't think…I don't mean to…this isn't…" he finally stammered uselessly.

"Can it." Raymond told him with a smirk, "Janet also told me you're awful at lying. Don't worry, this is your guys' mess, I don't plan on getting involved. If you have feelings for my sister, then that's… cool… but just know that if you hurt her I'll still tear you limb from limb, that's the perks that come with being the big brother." He slapped Jack playfully on the back, "but I still think you should go for it, Janet needs someone and you seem to fit the description pretty well, plus, you need someone too."

Jack just didn't even try to speak this time, it was useless. Raymond made sense; Jack did need someone, and he'd bet all his money that that someone was none other than Janet; he just couldn't imagine anyone else. The truth and the icy cold splash of reality was that somewhere along the road Jack had fallen for her, and now that he had fell under her spell there seemed to be no remedy.

Raymond shook his head, "Boy, you make love look like some kind of cruel trap."

"You have no idea."

"Well, just know Jack that the spaces between your fingers were made so that another's could fill them in, the problem is you've got to find the perfect fit. Some people have to go halfway around the world, but for the few lucky people that one person is placed right under their noses." Raymond raised an eyebrow, "has it ever hit you that maybe you're one of those lucky people?"

"Has it ever hit you that you say really corny things?" Jack asked.

Raymond shrugged and smiled, "someone's got to do it." With a glance at the clock on the wall he shook his head, "well, I'd love to stay and chat, but the guests are going to start arriving any minute, and I've still got to freshen up. Good talk Jack." Raymond held out his hand for Jack to shake.

"Raymond," Jack called as Janet's brother turned towards the doorway.

"Yeah"

"Friends?" Jack offered. He really did like Raymond; he was a nice guy, even though they had just practically beaten each other up moments before. And he decided this man was a good person to have on his side if he was ever in a scrap.

Raymond smiled, "some things come in time Jack."

Jack grinned at his response, and even though he didn't admit it he knew they were in fact friends. He disappeared around the corner and Jack was left alone with his thoughts, an empty kitchen, and a pan full of chicken. He turned back to the dish, and pampered it with some more spices and herbs.

So Raymond knew he had feelings for Janet, feelings that didn't want to go away, and Jack doubted now that they ever would. So, okay, at least now he had actually admitted to them, that was a start right? Now he just had to tell Janet, but how on earth could he do that? Jack had a hunch that he never would. _But I've got to try_ he told himself. The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything. He had to tell Janet exactly how he felt, if Terri told him it was right (or at least she had hinted that much) and Raymond had just finished blandly stating that he thought it was the right thing to do, then Jack had to do it. And preferably before he went crazy with keeping these feelings bottled up inside. Who knew, maybe in the end Janet would feel the same way.

However in an instant, all of his planning flew out of his head as Jack felt a familiar pair of hands grip his arm gently. "What're you making Jack?" Janet asked. She was suddenly standing beside him; her voice was bubbly and sent tingles down his spine.

"Russian chicken," he told her, sprinkling some cloves lightly over his long awaited masterpiece that was finally complete. Yes, he did have to tell her about how he felt, but… not now. He set down the bottle of spices and surveyed his work critically. "Brilliant!" he exclaimed in a teasing tone and kissed his fingers dramatically, "Oh, I've really out done myself this time, better than even David Miller! What do you say?"

She laughed, "I say you're crazy, as always. But it does smell good."

Jack grinned as he turned to face her, but when his gaze finally met her he froze. Janet had on a simple v-necked black dress that hung to her knees, but it made her look absolutely stunning. Her hair was loose, straight, and came down to her shoulders, the jet blackness of it made light reflect off of it and shine naturally. Her earrings were pearls, her two-inch high heels gave her at least some height, and her bracelet was some kind of silver. Janet didn't have on that much make-up, but Jack honestly didn't think she needed it anyways. Her smile was genuine, and the sparkle in her eyes: priceless.

Janet noticed his staring, "what?"

"Nothing," Jack said simply. And then sighed when he realized that 'nothing' wasn't true, there was so much going on. So many bottled up emotions that swirled and pounded inside his head, making it ever difficult to keep a clear conscious. Looking at her now made Jack want to scream from the highest point he could find and admit to all these crazy feelings he felt, to tell her what was going through his head. "You're beautiful," he finally managed softly.

She glanced down bashfully, "You're just saying that."

Jack shook his head, "No I'm not." He looked deep into her eyes, trying to figure out just what she was thinking. Usually he could read Janet like an open book, but lately it felt like she was guarding her emotions carefully. It made him frustrated to think she was holding back, and he desperately wanted to know what she thought was so important that she had to hide it from him.

"Well you look just fine too" she said casually, letting his compliment slide by. Janet stood on her tip-toes and brushed her hand through his hair, flattening it down. "Except your hair's a mess. And your shirt's all wrinkled. Jack, what have you been doing?" she asked as she fussed with his shirt.

Jack smirked at her question, it wasn't like he was about to tell her Raymond and him had just had a rather… physical confrontation. "Nothing, I was just talking to your brother. We had… an argument."

Janet arched her eyebrow questionably, "What about?"

"Its not important now," he shrugged, brushing it off. Jack turned towards the window as he noticed a car rolling up the driveway, but Janet wasn't concentrating on the guests, her gaze was trained on him. And he knew by the look in her eyes she had a hint that their 'argument' was a bigger deal than what he had told her. "Look" Jack pointed, "Some of your relatives are hear."

She finally followed his gaze outside where a few passengers were now pilling out of their car. "Well… here we go" she said with a sigh.

"Oh, come on, you're not fooling anyone Janet, you're excited and you know it." He grinned.

She returned his smile, and the cheerful look on her face burned brightly in such a Janet-like-fashion that he laughed at her uncontainable contentment. "Okay, so I'm a little excited," Janet agreed, beaming from ear to ear, "what else is new?"

Jack put an arm around her slim shoulders, and she leaned into him unexpectedly, wrapping one of her arms around his waist. _If you only knew how much is new_, he thought happily. The doorbell sounded throughout the house, and the scurry of feet could be heard upstairs as everyone hurried to the door. Jack reluctantly let go of Janet, "alright, don't forget to introduce me to everyone," he told her.

He watched as she took a deep breath and nodded. Jack slipped his hand into hers, "you're not nervous are you?"

"Just a tad," Janet admitted. Jack rolled his eyes and smiled.

"Everything's going to be fine."

She looked over at him and squeezed his fingers, "I know… just… stay beside me, alright?"

Jack glared at her tenderly and nodded. With one last smile he led her towards the entrance way and for the first time since he arrived Jack had the feeling this was just where he was supposed to be.

_::_

Janet was relieved. The pot luck was going incredibly well, everyone was here, they had already finished eating, and Jack was acting like a perfect gentleman. He had helped hand out the dishes with Jenny and Gaige, had introduced himself to most of the relatives, and had still managed to stay close by her side. Actually half of that last part had to do with her; she hadn't let him out of her sight the whole night, and felt like a lost puppy trailing behind her owner. Janet didn't know why exactly she refused to let him out of eye vision, maybe she was afraid Jack would do something stupid if she didn't watch him carefully enough, or maybe she was afraid she'd do something stupid. Or maybe it was just something entirely different. But so far everything was fine, and for the first time of the evening she relaxed slightly.

They were all crowded into the living room. The older relatives, like Aunt Gertrude, had claimed the sofas and the comfy seats, the middle aged adults were using the solid wooden chairs from the dinning room, which leaved everyone else with the floor. Luckily, because her and Jack were 'the guests' they got to share part of one couch with her uncle Lucas, Dorothy's husband. Dorothy herself chose to sit on the floor next to Jenny who was shooting Janet dirty looks because she got a seat and Jenny didn't. When no one was watching Janet would smile smugly in her sister's direction, just to prick her nerves a bit.

Beside her, Jack drummed his fingers against the armrest absently and his gaze seemed to be focused off into space. Usually Janet had a good idea of what he would be thinking about, but tonight she didn't have the slightest clue. Studying his features intently and coming up empty, she sighed in frustration. This was getting ridiculous; this whole thing of jumping around each other's feelings… if that was indeed what they were doing, she wasn't even sure of that anymore.

Jack noticed her sigh and glanced down at her, his eyes swirling with cautiousness, uncertainty, and doubt, the three things she had never seen him have before. Janet knew for a fact that there was a raging storm of emotions going on just beneath the surface, hidden by an incredibly fake mask of calmness. She wanted to point blankly ask him what was going on, demand Jack for an answer, but that was impossible to do at the moment due to the fact they were crowded in a stuffy room full of people. She turned away from him and tried to follow the conversation everyone else seemed to be immersed in.

"I'm so happy they've finally decided to go ahead with it," Aunt Gertrude was saying. "It'll be better for everyone."

Across the room, Will, her cousin, nodded in agreement. Janet shook her head, last time she had seen him he had just finished high school, now he was through college and engaged to be married. "A new school is definitely what Alton needs the most," he piped in. "A one room school house just isn't enough anymore. And this way it'll be between here and New Albany so they can use the school as well, it'll be great for our kids to have the chance to befriend other children outside of this small community."

A new school? Janet's interest was suddenly raised and she sat up straighter. A new school would be wonderful, exactly what everyone was in need of, the old school house was the same one she had gone to when she was younger and even then it was falling apart. Janet pitied the kids who attended it now, the roof was probably just about ready to give way, and it was a wonder the health board hadn't shut it down already. Or did they even have a health board here?

Her father took a deep breath, "yes, it's a great idea, but still only an idea. Where would Alton get enough financial support to build a whole school? We're donating all we can and it still isn't enough. I believe that if things don't change soon then this whole thing will just remain a fantasy, like everything else this town has ever tried to accomplish."

"It all starts with a dream." Dorothy stated softly, giving out a small but much appreciated sense of hope which gathered a response of silence.

Her mother broke the stillness that hung in the air. "I love your optimism Dorothy, and of course your right. There's no point in putting ourselves down with doubts before the whole plan has even finished forming. For all we know in the end we might have a brand new school after all, but let's not worry about that tonight." Janet had to admit her mother had a way with people, if she wasn't still so blisteringly and pathetically mad at her she might've even agreed with her. But the past isn't so easy to forget, and Janet didn't see any light at the end of this tunnel signaling that forgiveness was coming any time soon between her and Ruth Wood.

From where he was seated Uncle Lucas cleared his throat. "Well" he began in a decisive tone, "I believe it's getting late. I think I speak for everyone when I say that this evening was wonderful. Janet, its good to see you again," he covered her hand with his own and Janet smiled in response. "And Jack it was nice to meet you."

Jack nodded, "back at you."

Lucas chuckled and then stood somewhat shakily to his feet. He held out a hand to his wife tenderly and brung her to a standing position as well. "Dorothy, sweetheart, what do you think? Time to head home?"

"I'd love to stay, but it's late," she replied. "Goodnight everyone," Dorothy glanced at everyone around the room with a smile, and when her gaze landed on Janet she winked before turning back to her husband. Andrea stood to his feet and accompanied them to the door; a few moments later Janet heard the door slam and her father reappeared in the living room.

The rest of the relatives were slow to leave, but one by one, two by twos, and three by threes they finally each made their way out of the house. About twenty minutes went by before Janet found herself standing with Jack at the doorway, sending the last person off. It was Cousin Joan, but she had always been somewhat of a hard to get rid of guest in the first place. "See you!" Janet called out the door before closing it shut behind her. She let out a small sigh of relief and sunk against the wall; Jack watched her and shook his head, grinning.

"I don't know what you worry about Jan; your family is just fine. What could have gone wrong?" he asked.

She shrugged, "I don't know, it's just who I am. Worrying is what I do I guess… and you've got to admit I'm pretty good at it."

"I suppose," Jack helped her to her feet, his hand lingering on hers for a moment before they both pulled away self consciously. Janet felt herself begin to melt under the steadiness of his gaze and she suddenly wished her relatives were back and her family hadn't gone down to the wreck room again so they wouldn't be standing here alone. It seemed as if just their eye contact was physically hauling them closer to each other, and Janet took a deliberate step backwards.

Emotions so think rattled her skull, obviously not caring if they broke the realistically thinking part of her brain apart. She never thought she would ever completely loose her mind, but now… Janet wasn't so sure. Jack's eyes mirrored hers to perfection and she wanted so badly to rush over to him, cover the distance, close the gap, and throw herself in his arms. She wanted his reassurance, she yearned for him to tell her that everything was fine, but all she received from his end was uncertainty. And Janet knew the harsh reality was that nothing was 'okay', and the safe ground was breaking apart, they were running out of footholds, out of excuses for these feelings.

Too long, she decided simply, they had put this off for too long, and yet she still couldn't seem to do a thing about it. The only thing Janet knew for sure was that she didn't want to be left by herself with these feelings right now, she just couldn't take being completely alone at the moment. "Jack," her voice sounded raspy, unsure, and even more unfamiliar, "do you want to… watch the stars with me?"

"What?"

A small smile touched her lips. "I know it sounds funny, but I don't want to sleep right now… so do you want to look at the stars with me?" She looked at him hopefully and to her surprise Jack didn't even contemplate the idea, he simply grabbed two sweaters from the closet.

"I'm not tired either," Jack smiled softly and handed her one sweater while he threw the other over his head and pulled open the door. She still had on her dress and high heels, and as she shoved on her sweater Janet smirked at what a sight she must be. A black dress, stilettos, and a red secondhand sweater.

They stepped out into the night and the frost filled air hit Janet in the face. What were they doing? This was crazy, and as she glanced back at the house she knew they could still just turn back, but she also knew that wasn't going to happen either. Janet's head was spinning, her heart was taking control and she had to admit… she liked it.

_::_

_ I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, _

_But I can tell you what it is for me, _

_Love is knowing all about someone, _

_And still wanting to be with them more than any other person, _

_Love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, _

_Including the things you might be ashamed of, _

_Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, _

_But still getting weak in the knees, _

_When they walk into a room and smile at you. _


	9. Strangers In The Night

Long time, no see! Well here it is, my _favorite_ chapter so far. It's short and to the point... and yeah, so, just read it already! :)

**~ C.A. **

Chapter nine: Strangers in the Night

_For it was not into my ear you whispered, _

_But into my heart, _

_It was not my lips you kissed, _

_But my soul. _

_**~ Judy Garland **_

_::_

They didn't wander far. Just outside the house to the back yard, it was too dark to go any farther than that just to stare at stars Janet had decided. Her and Jack were lying on their backs in the damp grass, side by side, their gazes directed upwards to the night sky. The stars shone brightly, twinkling mischievously and reminded her of Jack's eyes when he smiled. To the left the moon hung in the night, it was just a sliver of glimmering white; Janet stared at it absently. It wasn't cold outside, but not overly warm either and a light chill ran down her body as she hugged herself to warm up. Jack folded his hands together on top of his chest and rested beside her in silence.

Neither one had any idea of what to say, and tonight, the stillness between them wasn't welcomed for once. Janet felt like she was smothering in it. _But, _she told herself, _at least it's better than being alone. _It was crazy how a perfect reliable friendship like theirs could transform into something so deep and so frightening in a matter of days. There was no explanation; she had already searched for one and had come up empty. There were only facts. The simple plain truth that feelings **were **present between them, feelings that couldn't be denied, feelings that tugged mercilessly at the heart, feelings, Janet feared, that would never leave. Sure, they could disappear for a moment in time, but it only took a soft gaze or a thrilling chill to bring it all back again.

Janet and Jack were trapped, and there was no way out.

Jack suddenly pointed heavenwards, pulling her out of her reverie. "Hey look Jan!" he exclaimed, "There's the Big Dipper, see it up there?"

With her eyes she followed his pointed finger up into the sky and saw what he was talking about. "Oh yeah," she smiled, gazing at the six stars that formed the constellation; four for the scoop of the dipper and two for the handle. Janet scanned the rest of the sky and then took her turn to point upwards, "and there's the Little Dipper off to the right."

Jack nodded and grinned. "I wonder how they shine like that…" he wondered vocally.

"What?"

Jack motioned to the stars, "The stars, how do they shine?"

Janet shrugged; she was glad he had taken her mind off the subject of their friendship and on to something a little less serious. She didn't feel like being serious at the moment. "I don't know, I think it's the gas they're made up of," she told him and then put her hands behind her head.

"Gas?" Jack shook his head, "That's lame."

Janet glanced over at him, "but it's true."

He shook his head again in protest. "Not where I'm laying. I don't see fiery balls of burning gas miles away, I see a black quilt with pearls twinkling on it."

"That's… weird," she said quizzically, not comprehending exactly where he could come up with an idea like that, "and not to mention very unrealistic."

"No it's not," Jack told her with a smile. "Think about it. The sky is the quilt, dark and bleak, and the stars are the pearls, bright and sparkling. When the quilt is empty there's just blackness," he noticed her raised eyebrow.

"It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt" she said with a smirk.

Jack took a breath, "just let me finish." Janet rolled her eyes, but obliged. "So," he continued, "the quilt is dreary and depressing. And the pearls are blinding, their light makes everyone squint and turn away, they're just too bright. Separate, the quilt and the pearls are incomplete, but put two and two together and you get the perfect combination. Not too such sorrow, not too much sparkle, just enough."

Janet squinted at the stars, "you know, this sounds crazy… but they do kind of look like pearls… in a way…" Jack grinned in her direction. "And" she added, "You get bonus points for being creative."

They both chuckled before falling quiet. Janet examined the sky carefully, "when I look at the stars I feel so small and insignificant," she said softly, "and it makes my problems feel smaller as well. Its funny how a problem can seem so terrible and make you feel so lost, but then when you take a step back and look at the 'big picture' you realize that that certain something isn't so terrible after all."

She was talking to Jack as much as she was talking to herself at that moment. As her gaze remained fixed upwards at the 'pearls' that twinkled and shone down at her Janet smiled gently. But like a swipe of a hand her smile dissipated as she sighed slowly. "But… sometimes problems really are huge, and no matter how much star gazing you do they just don't seem to get any smaller. And you start wondering if they'll ever go away."

Janet felt Jack's arm snake around her shoulder comfortingly, he hauled her closer and she rested her head on his chest. It was funny how such an action could feel so natural to the both of them. She was so used to the feel of being in his arms that she wondered if she could ever survive without him. Probably not.

And it made it even worse that Jack was one of those super huge problems and no matter how Janet examined the situation she just couldn't find a way to solve it. These feelings for him were cracking her, and she felt like she wanted to run from him to escape the breaking of her heart. Run as far as her legs could carry her. But Janet couldn't, as much as she wanted to leave there was an even bigger part of her that needed and wanted Jack. It yearned for his touch, for his smile, for his voice, and so as usual she was torn.

"Someday hon," he told her suddenly; his voice soft and quiet against her ear, "you're problems will work out, and it'll all be worth it."

Janet liked the sound of that, but found it incredibly hard to believe. "I doubt it," she sighed.

"You'll be surprised."

Silence. Soft, calm quiet that hugged them like a blanket and enveloped them. It wasn't awkward like before, it was a familiar silence, the one two people shared when they were content in each others arms and didn't want to question if the contentment was right or not. Janet let her gaze flow upwards into the heavens as she lay beside Jack, half wishing they could stay like this forever, and hide from the rest of the world.

_::_

_Do it. Do it now before you miss the chance._ Thoughts clashed in Jack's head as Janet looked up at the sky; he wanted to tell her, needed to tell her. The words could come out so easily, they were formed in the back of his mind, now he just had to let them roll off his tongue. It wasn't getting the words out that terrified him; it was the fact that once they were out there he couldn't take them back.

She was so beautiful, her face was pale in the faint moonlight and her eyes twinkled, putting all the stars to shame. Janet was more than a friend; she had always been more than just a friend. Maybe it had taken years to realize it, but now that it had finally hit him Jack had fallen hard. Hard and fast with no time to think, like a bullet had driven itself deep into the reaches of his heart, and oddly enough it was wonderful. He knew he could never feel like this again. Never feel the way Janet made him feel with anyone else, it was her or nothing. Jack suddenly knew why he had been such a ladies' man before, he had been searching desperately for something true and real… something that had the potential to last forever. Little did he know he had been looking in all the wrong places, and now here 'forever' was lying in his arms: in the form of Janet Wood. She had been here all along.

He remained quiet, contemplating to himself and after a while Janet glanced up at him, her head still on his chest. "We should go inside," she said softly.

Jack nodded as he stared hopelessly back into her brown eyes and released her from his arms unwillingly. She stood and he followed her move, pulling himself to his feet as well. Brushing the grass off his back he watched as Janet looked back up at the stars again, she didn't seem able to pry her eyes away from the sky. It was almost as if she was looking for answers.

Jack turned his head up too, taking one last glance at the 'pearls' that shone down on the earth brightly, wishing there really were answers up there for him.

"Thanks for coming with me Jack," Janet told him.

He looked over at her, "I don't mind Jan I like the stars."

"Oh, no I didn't mean that," she explained, glancing at him with a smile. "I mean thanks for coming here with me, to Indiana. It means more than you know."

"My pleasure," he replied. And it really was, thank goodness Janet had decided to invite him in the first place, thank goodness it meant so much to her. As much heartache as these feelings for Janet were causing him Jack still didn't want to be anywhere else than beside her.

Even though she had just pulled out off his arms only moments before he still craved her touch and without thinking about what he was doing Jack reached out and placed his hand on the side of her face. "Janet…" his voice was strained, broken, "I need to talk to you…" Now or Never.

"I'm right here," Janet stated gently, her eyes searching his as she tried to read his face.

He kept his gaze on hers, never breaking eye contact and took a breath. "Remember when I told you back at the apartment how I couldn't feel anything? About being empty?"

"Of course, it was only two weeks ago Jack."

Had it really only been that long ago? "Well… that's not true anymore."

"Okay?" He could tell she didn't understand.

Jack ran his thumb along her jaw just like he had that day she had fallen asleep with her head in his lap, feeling his skin against hers. Lost for words he leaned forward and let his forehead rest against her own, the intensity of his gaze met by one just as strong from Janet. "Janet." His mouth formed her name effortlessly; it fell from his lips with delicious ease. He loved the sound.

At the simple way he had whispered her name Janet's mind seemed to suddenly click into place, recognition dawned on her features. She understood. She understood that he was desperately trying to explain how he felt and Jack could see the plain fear on her face. She understood, but she didn't want to. Her eyes were wide as they continued to search his face; they were both unable to pull away.

Jack unconsciously let his hands slide down to Janet's waist, holding her like he had so many times before. But this time was different, this was terrifying and thrilling and loving all at the same time. Too many emotions were coursing through him; Jack could feel his pulse pounding in his ears.

Slowly, Janet began to pull away as her senses started to return. She took a small and insignificant step back as a feeble attempt to haul herself out of his arms. But he wouldn't let her go. "Wait, Jan please. Just let me explain," Jack pleaded tersely.

Janet looked up at him; her fear had suddenly transformed itself into a steely glare. The walls around her heart were instantly in place as she tried desperately to numb herself from the onslaught of feelings he knew were passing through her mind. Janet's eyes stared back at him defensively. "No Jack," she told him coldly, "I don't want to hear it."

He felt a slight burst of irritation at her unfeeling and brittle words. "Don't want to?" he asked her shortly, "or just too afraid to admit that you _do_ want to hear what I have to say?"

"Jack… don't do this…I don't want to lose our friendship." She replied helplessly as her gaze faltered against his, "you're too important to me to risk like that."

Jack knew she was afraid, he was afraid too, but he also knew that he couldn't keep going on like this pretending that nothing was changing between them. He took a step closer. "I know there are risks, but I don't care, because I won't leave you Janet. Not for anything, no matter what happens."

"Jack, that's what everyone says, 'I'd never leave you'. And it's so easy for you to say it now, but somewhere down the road…" Janet inched farther away from him, wary as she tried to put some space between them. But her eyes gave her away, showing how desperately she wanted to believe him.

"…somewhere down the road I'll still be there." He finished for her. "I'm tired of lying Janet, tired of telling myself that I don't have feelings for you. Tired of denying the truth. Some people take it slow… it took me seven years to realize exactly how I feel. But we're here now, we've made it through so much, and I know we can keep on making it…"

"Jack," she mumbled tersely, trying to twist out of his arms, "stop."

"Take a risk Janet… because I love you."

Janet froze at his words, her eyes focused on him as the truth hit her. He loved her. Jack had said it, he had told her and now… there was no taking it back. She was one step away from him, and he could've closed the distance between them in a second, seal it like an envelope, but he waited.

They stood in the middle of the yard at half past twelve, the stars shining down on them. Two lost souls with the moonlight illuminating their scared and frightened faces. Janet's lips trembled slightly, but her eyes were in a straight stare, and Jack could suddenly plainly see the battle that was raging on inside her between her heart and her head. The silence was deafening and unable to hold himself back any longer Jack wrapped his arms around Janet slowly; bring her closer until his head was only centimeters away from hers. She was tense against him, gazing up into his eyes imploringly.

Two friends desperately caught in a whirlwind of emotions were what they were. Desperate. Afraid. Terrified. They leaned in closer.

Jack's erratically beating heart pounded against his chest… Her lips became his eyes' only focus, her breath hot against his face. She parted her mouth slowly… but at the last second she leaned back suddenly. "Jack," Janet whispered shakily, "I can't do this, d-"

But he didn't let her finish. Jack brang her closer for the last time and in one swift movement lowered his head, letting his lips crush down upon hers. Without a second thought, without a doubt in his mind he let the gap between them disappear.

_::_

_**Lost. **_

Janet couldn't think, couldn't breathe, and couldn't push him away. Because as much as she wanted to slap Jack aside the head right now she also knew that everything he had said was irrationally correct. Janet could feel her doubts and fears trickle out of her mind one by one as Jack held her close and kissed her. He loved her, that's what he had said. He was tired of denying it, he had said that too. And the scary thing was: she knew he meant it.

_**Lost. **_

It felt like he was drugging her on his kisses as her conscience suddenly disappeared. Slowly and prostestingly she felt herself giving into his embrace, somehow relaxing in his hard grip. Unable to stop herself Janet let her lips move against Jack's gradually, unwillingly at first, but quickly finding herself submitting as he deepened the kiss, holding her closer and kissing her more desperately than before. Finally giving up completely Janet found herself circling her arms around his neck tightly, allowing her fingers to intertwine with his hair. _What are you doing!_ She screamed to herself. It felt like she had been starving and now Jack was satisfying some great hunger from within her. She could hear her heart beating wildly and could feel Jack's pounding just as heavily against his chest as they clung to each other hopelessly.

_**Lost. **_

She was drowning in emotions as they coursed wildly through her veins. Janet was lost, for once there were no answers and she had to say she liked it that way; all her mind could focus on was now. The only thing she could concentrate on was Jack. He pressed her against him, wrapping one arm around her back and the other hand slid through her dark hair. Jack's mouth moved with hers in hurried sequence, their kisses were semi-rough as feelings were released that had been pent up for seven years. Moaning into his mouth, Janet felt some intense, high-wrought emotion that compelled her desperately to respond. Both tried to take everything in, trying to engrave it into their memories because they knew that eventually it would end. And there might never be another one again. Time was frozen and if it wasn't for the need of oxygen Janet was certain she could've stayed like this forever, caught in Jack's rugged embrace. Running out of air, they finally pulled away breathlessly. Janet stared at Jack as his eyes remained trained on hers, they were still in each others arms and not quite sure what had just transpired between them. Breathing heavily they searched the other's face; their thoughts were a disheveled mess. Janet couldn't pull herself away, afraid that if she glanced down, or even blinked then Jack would disappear and this would all be a dream. But it was no dream, and here they were gripping each other tightly with absolutely no idea of where to go from here.

She had just kissed her best friend. That bland mouthful of truth was hard to swallow. Her roommate, her companion, her friend, her supporter, her Jack; the one person who knew her better than she knew herself. And it wasn't just any kiss, it was a startlingly earth shattering kiss that had unleashed all the pent up feelings and all the unshed emotions. It had been deep and frightening, Janet had felt like fire crackers were going off in her head, it made her yearn for more as her hands trembled, but most of all, that one kiss had changed everything. All that they had known, the past seven years they had spent building a friendship that both had secretly wished would last forever was now on very uneven ground. Untouched, never treaded soil.

There was a sudden fork in the road, and as Janet stared into Jack's eyes, her heart hanging on her sleeve, she wondered absently which path to take. The night was now cold and their breath came out in little tuffs of mist in the air as they stood frozen and still.

"Janet…" Jack started in a desperately apologetic tone, breaking the stunned silence that hung between them, "I'm sorry, that wasn't supposed to happen, pleas-"

"Shut up." Her voice surprised even herself as she drew closer to him again, resting her flushed cheek against his chest and leaning into him so she wouldn't fall off balance from the emotions that pulsated through her. Janet stared off into the distance absently as she felt Jack's arms wrap around her once more. "I'm not sorry. Maybe tomorrow I will be, maybe even in a couple hours," she told him softly, not completely sure how she could manage to get the words out of her mouth when she felt like her heart was cracking into a million pieces. "You're right, that probably wasn't supposed to happen… but it did. Don't say you're sorry Jack. Please...", she swallowed, "just hold me. Tell me that everything's going to be okay… even if that's not the truth…"

And he did, he held her tightly and securely, resting his chin on the top of her head. "Everything's going to be okay Jan," Jack whispered, complying with her wishes. But neither of them believed it. Janet closed her eyes, trying to let their surroundings fade away, trying to forget that a real merciless world awaited them the second they decided to pull their heads out of the clouds. Maybe life would be bleak tomorrow, but for now it was today… and today, Janet confirmed, was absolutely terrifyingly wonderful.

_::_

_I climbed up the door and opened the stairs,  
Said my pajamas and put on my prayers,  
Then I turned off the bed and crawled into the light  
All because you kissed me goodnight!  
_


	10. A Night Not To Remember

**Hello, I'm so sorry this chapter took so long to get on the net, but you see my brain has been filled with future possibilities for more stories lately (not related to Three's Company :( ) and I've been spending some time to explore them. Anyways, another update can be expected around... hmm... maybe shortly after Christmas? I can't make any promises, perhaps it'll be sooner. **

**Enjoy chap. ten guys! And have a Merry Christmas. It's good to get presents, but don't forget what Christmas is really all about! **

**Give more than you receive this season. :)**

**~ C.A. **

**P.S. ** **Have you noticed that the names of the chapters are all names of individual episodes from the show? Just thought I'd point that out. ;) **

_**God Bless you all! **_

Chapter ten: A Night not to Remember

_I have found the paradox, _

_That if you love until it hurts, _

_There can be no more hurt, _

_Only more love. _

_**~ Mother Teresa **_

_::_

Jack sat quietly at the breakfast table, a bowl of whole wheat cereal resting untouched in front of him. His elbows propped up, his chin resting in his hands and his troubled blue eyes gazing- but not quite focusing- on the scene outside the kitchen window. It was morning and everything was draped in the peacefulness of the early hours as the sun began to poke its way up into the sky, bathing the trees in the first hint of golden sunlight; not that Jack cared. He let out a long breath and turned back to his breakfast; with a limp hand he gave the cereal a sloppy stir.

This terribly condemning morning had him feeling so guilty. Last night had been his entire fault. Jack wanted to hang his head shamefully, and if he had a tail wrap it between his legs like a scolded dog. In one moment of gleeful hope he had somehow managed to unravel his and Janet's friendship, leaving them with absolutely nothing but an empty space of what had been there. That something had fled when he had decided to risk everything for a simple kiss…

At the thought of calling the kiss they had shared 'simple' Jack scoffed, it had been far from simple. It had been hinderingly breathtaking, leaving both of them speechless when it had ended. Jack hadn't been able to stop replaying the moment in his mind. He couldn't stop thinking about how Janet had given into his embrace, finally defeated and without any other option had relaxed against him unwillingly. She had allowed her fingers to tug at his hair gently, trying to calm the onslaught of emotions. Jack could vividly remember the feel of her lips as they softened against his, even kissing him back while he held her securely in his arms, not wanting to give her the chance to pull away.

And then it had ended, both leaning back in desperate need of air to fill their empty, oxygen starved lungs. Jack wasn't sure how Janet was going to react and was mentally prepared for the sting that would come if she decided to slap him across the face. But she hadn't done that. Instead she was silent, and Jack was more afraid of her silences than he was of her violent moments. After a full minute of labored breathing and stillness he began to apologize pleadingly in broken sentences, not sure where to begin. But Janet had stopped him and said the one thing he had never thought he'd hear from her lips. Janet told him she didn't regret it. She told him she was terrified… but not sorry and then she asked Jack to hold her.

Unsure of what else to say he immediately took her in his arms again, holding her tightly with her head on his chest, never wanting to let go. Jack still had no idea how long they held each other like that without speaking a word, maybe it was two seconds but it could've just easily been ten minutes. When Janet finally pulled away her eyes were distant and once again cloaked with a protective glint just like always, almost as if the kiss had never transpired in the first place. It hurt his heart to see her so defensive again. She murmured something unclear about going back to the house and then, just like that, she disappeared inside, leaving him standing there alone in the darkness.

Jack shook his head and stood to his feet, grabbing his bowl and dumping the continents down the drain, uneaten. Then, he sat back down at the table. Sometimes he wished he'd never met Janet Wood; that he'd never passed out drunk in her and Chrissie's bathtub all those years ago. Life would've been so much easier... but, who was Jack kidding? It may have been easier, but look at all he would've missed out on. All those friendships he had made, all the misunderstandings, all the bittersweet life lessons, and Janet herself… he would've missed out on her completely. He never would've gotten the chance to befriend her, and while that may have saved him from a lot of heartache, it surely wouldn't have been worth it. When Jack really contemplated it he knew she was worth it, worth all the trouble, and somehow they had to find a way to work this out…

The million dollar question was: _How_? He had no idea how to fix this. How could he possibly patch things up? Jack couldn't just stroll up to her and say "Hey look, Jan, yeah… sorry about last night I just couldn't contain myself. You know how it is." Yeah… no, that definitely wouldn't do; first of all because that was pathetic, and secondly because it was a lie. He wasn't sorry about what happened last night, they both weren't, but admitting that wasn't the hard part. The hard part was finding where to go from here. Jack knew he needed to talk to her; they had to finally find an answer to these feelings before it tore them apart, but Jack also knew she'd probably be in no mood to talk right away. So first, before they could even begin a discussion involving last night's fevered embraces, they both needed to think.

Think-ety, Think, Think, Think…. Jack sighed inwardly; as always, thinking was easier said than done, as Chrissie used to regularly inform him.

"Good morning Jack."

Jack turned in his seat at the sound of his name and found Janet's mother making her way into the kitchen. She was wearing a long brown bathrobe and Jack got the feeling she had just pulled herself out of bed, after all it was only six thirty in the morning. She gave him a pinched smile and then switched on the coffee machine that rested on the side board.

"Good morning Mrs. Wood," Jack greeted awkwardly; he had never actually had the opportunity to speak to Janet's mother until now, and with good reason: he had been avoiding her. He wasn't sure he could carry out a normal conversation with this woman who had raised Janet and then simply abandoned her when she decided to move out. All the pain he had seen on Janet's face because of her own mother made him sick.

"Oh," the woman waved her hand as she opened the fridge to pull out the milk, "I'd prefer if you just called me Ruth. It always makes me feel so old when people refer to me as 'Mrs.'"

Jack nodded, "sure," and then returned to staring absently out the window.

Ruth poured the milk over her own bowl of cereal and took a seat at the table on the opposite side. "Has Janet shown you around yet?" she asked, noticing his staring at the view outside.

"Yeah, actually she has," he told her, "Yesterday she took me on the hiking trail before the potluck."

Ruth peered out the window, "its pretty isn't it?"

"Breathtaking" Jack agreed, remembering the view from the top of the cliff. The lake had shone bright blue from the sun, the evergreen trees had stretched for miles and miles, and the houses of Alton had looked like tiny building blocks all crowded together. Jack recalled Janet by the ledge of the cliff, she had sat there with her hands resting on the muddied ground, unafraid of dirt getting under her fingernails, and she had let her feet swing over the edge. Like a rebel, like an over confident teenager who was at that moment disgusted at the world, but somehow she had still managed to pull off looking beautiful. He loved it.

Ruth took a bite of her breakfast, "there's just something about a little town perched in the middle of nowhere, isn't there? It's so peaceful; it's almost as if the rest of the world doesn't exist."

"But the rest of the world does exist," he reminded her sullenly, "what good is it to forget about it if you have to come back to it eventually?"

She sighed with a small smile, "You sound exactly like Janet; she has worn off on you."

Jack eyed Ruth, "that's not necessarily a bad thing."

Ruth shook her head and took another mouthful of cereal. She chewed slowly, thoughtfully, and when she was done she glanced over at Jack. "Janet tends to wear off on most everyone, but of course you're right, it's not a bad thing at all." Another bite of cereal, another silence as she swallowed. "She's a strong, levelheaded girl, and can be very serious… perhaps too serious for her own good sometimes."

Jack nodded, he couldn't disagree with that. Janet was serious, even when she joked around; she always tried to prove some sort of point. He liked her that way though, had even grown to love how serious she could be, but obviously Ruth didn't feel the same way. Jack took a breath, "she is pretty down-to-earth," he admitted.

"Very. And even more defensive. Always on guard and always careful." Ruth laughed, but it wasn't mocking… it was a sad laugh filled with concern. "I just wish Janet would realize that it's okay to depend on others, she doesn't have to keep her heart bottled up inside her like that. It hurts to see my own daughter so afraid of life, so scared that it will turn around and slap her across the face."

Jack raised an eyebrow, "maybe she got that idea from past experience." He was stunned he had even said it, but he knew Ruth understood exactly what he was talking about. He was referring to how much she had hurt Janet and how much Janet was still hurting from all those years ago.

"Janet told you." Ruth said with a sigh and gazed down at the table. "It's true, every little bit of it. Janet never used to be afraid of anything. She understood, unlike me, that there was a world out there, and like you stated earlier, she knew that hiding away in this little town would accomplish nothing. She was only nineteen when she came to me and said that she was leaving. I told her no, but she said yes. I had a fear of the world and had no intention of letting any daughter of mine go out in it if I could help it."

She paused to look up at him; her eyes looked tired and weary with regret mixed up in there somewhere as well. "Jack, you have to understand a mother's love is so deep sometimes it even blinds us so that while trying to protect our children we end up hurting them instead. I thought that if I threatened to almost completely cut Janet off then she'd stay, but I was wrong. She left anyways, and it was too late to even begin apologizing when I finally realized that she wasn't going to change her mind. She wouldn't be coming home, because I had made this place a house that she couldn't call 'home' anymore. And so, hurt and broken, thinking that I had inflicted pain on her because I wanted her to fail, Janet left… and this is the first time I've seen her since."

Jack studied her. He had imagined Ruth to be so much more judgmental with an attitude that seemed to scream 'I hate the world!', but she was none of those things. She was a broken woman, a person who had been swept up and lost by all the guilt she carried around. He felt a tug at his heart, genuinely feeling sorry for Ruth.

She tried to smile, "I know that I hurt her… so very, very bad… but don't think that Janet was the only one hurt by my mistake; we both were."

"You need to tell her," Jack managed softly, not sure what else to say but the obvious.

Ruth shook her head, "She'd never believe me now. It's been too long; I've let this sit between us for years."

Jack couldn't help but notice how much like Janet she looked at that moment. The concern was so deeply etched into her features it reminded him of all the times that Janet had listen for literally hours with genuine sympathy to the many stories of Chrissie, Cindy, Terri, Furley or even the Ropers. She had always been the sensitive one, always the one to turn to. Jack let out a grin for the first time that morning, "just explain, she'll understand. Janet's one problem that keeps her from staying mad at someone is that she cares too much. She'll listen to you, it doesn't matter what happened between you, because bottom line: you're her mother. No matter what she may say she still needs you."

She studied him for a moment and then nodded. "I'll think about it," Ruth told him. There was a small lull in the conversation and then she turned to him with a secretive look on her face, her mouth tugged upwards into a smile and her eyes danced. She leaned forward, "… so I've shared about my problems, now you share yours Jack. What exactly is going on between you and Janet?"

Jack searched her face, unsure of what to say. There was no sense in not telling the truth, he knew that, he just didn't know how to put it into words.

"The stars were beautiful last night, weren't they?" Ruth commented.

Jack felt his cheeks burn and tried to shrug, "they were okay…"

She threw him a knowing look, "but somehow I don't think it was the stars you two were focused on." Jack didn't respond and Ruth chuckled. "So?" she questioned.

"So what?"

"So what's going on?"

"Between me and… Janet?"

She nodded and Jack let out a frustrated sigh. "I have no idea," he told her truthfully, letting a balled up fist hit the table and making the spoon clatter in Ruth's cereal bowl, releasing some beset and baffled emotions. "I just… don't know."

She put a hand over his fist comfortingly. "Look at me Jack. I've lived for fifty two years. I've been in love, and still am, I've had children, I've been afraid, I've made mistakes, I've been rich, I've hit rock bottom and had nothing, I've believed, I've doubted, I've gone places and seen things." Ruth leaned back. "And occasionally I've been put through crap. I'm no genius, but I have lived, and I can tell you this: life is going to be one heck of an ugly place if you're not with the one you want."

She paused, letting her words sink deep into Jack's heart. "You want Janet, even I can see that, and yes the reason I do is because I spied on you two last night through my bedroom window, but that's not the point. The point is: are you going to let her go? Janet loves you Jack, she will deny it, but she does. It's scary, falling for your best friend, I should know, how do you think I met my husband? Love at first sight?" She shook her head. "Love at first sight doesn't exist. Love is knowing someone, understanding them, and trusting them by placing a piece of yourself inside their heart so that you cannot live without them. It's deep, it's binding and it is unforgettable. Love can hold you together and it can tear you apart, but no matter what… once you've experienced it you'll never forget it. You've been together for almost eight long years; you'll never forget Janet, and she'll never forget you Jack, so don't let her go. Have you ever wondered what being in love feels like? Well this is it, right here. You've found it, and from here it keeps getting better, trust me, you don't want to miss a thing. Love is everything it's cracked up to be… it really is worth fighting for, being brave for, and risking everything for."

He knew she was right. Jack understood that Ruth knew what she was talking about. He'd always known he loved Janet, there was no question there. Since the first month of being her roommate he loved her, admired her and wanted to protect her. She was his friend. But loving someone and being in love with that person were two very different concepts. And Jack had leapt from loving Janet to being in love with her. From wanting to keep her safe to yearning to be everything she needed. The line that was put in place between them since day one had been crossed. It had been trampled, stomped on and torn and now it had disappeared. The invisible line was destroyed, gone, and all because he was in love with her. And now he knew that it was possible to live without Janet, but also knew he never ever wanted to.

"It looks like we both have to tell Janet something…" Jack stated softly, not really knowing what else to put out there. Ruth nodded and smiled, it was a true smile, timid but sincere. He never thought Janet resembled Ruth at all, except maybe their eyes, but as she smiled he could see a little of her daughter shining through. She glanced at the clock and let out a breath.

"Oh, gosh. It's already seven," she sighed, "I've got to go scrub up; I promised Crystal I'd go to the city with her today." Ruth rose and shoved her dishes into the sink.

Jack realized after a moment's pondering that Crystal was one of Janet's aunts, he had met her last night. She was a nice lady, you just had to look past the gigantic mole on her right cheek. He shivered; not very many people had moles with hair sprouting from them, but she was an exception.

Ruth put her hands on her hips, her seriousness was now in place but he could plainly see tenderness in there as well. "When I come back I want to hear that you talked to Janet, and that you two have worked this thing out."

"That's easier said than done."

"Jack" she told him sternly, "you can't waste your life, or Janet's, trying to prevent the inevitable, sooner or later you will have to face the truth about what you feel for each other. Better sooner than later."

And with that Ruth was gone out the kitchen door and was making her way upstairs, not even giving Jack a chance to say anything. With her 'words of wisdom', so to speak, running through his head he slumped in his chair. The weight of the world on his shoulders.

_::_

"Please pick up…" Janet mumbled into the mouth piece of the phone while she clamped it securely next to her ear. She felt incredibly stupid as she sat cramped up in the hallway closet in the dark, but this was the best place she could think of to have a private conversation. So when no one had been walking by Janet had grabbed the phone from the small wooden table by her bedroom door and dragged it to the tiny closet. Foolishly thinking her and the phone could fit in there comfortably.

Another dull ring echoed in her ear as the person on the other end of the line refused to answer. Janet ran a hand through her hair and heaved a long breath. "C'mon…. pick up…."

There was soft click and then she heard someone yawn before a tired feminine voice grumbled in obvious displeasure at the fact that someone dare wake her at seven in the morning, "ugh… Hello?"

"Terri!" Janet squealed with relief, relaxing against the closet door as best as she could.

"Janet?" Terri enquired sleepily.

"It's me"

There was a low moan. "Couldn't you wait until a decent time? Santa Monica's three hours behind Indiana, it's only four o'clock!"

"I'm sorry," Janet bit her fingernails as she spoke and peeked out the crack between the wall and the door to make sure no one was walking by. "But Ter, this is an emergency."

"Alright," Terri sighed, "what's the matter? Did Jack forget to screw the toothpaste top back on again?"

"I'm serious!"

There was a pause as Terri noted the panicked tone in Janet's voice, her sleepiness suddenly forgotten. "What happened?" she asked, this time with real concern.

"I think I'm going to come home early…" Janet told her, cradling the phone close to her ear.

"What?" She sounded confused, "why?"

Janet shook her head, forgetting that Terri couldn't see what she was doing.

"Hey?" Terry asked after a small silence, "Janet, are you still there?"

"Yeah…"

"So, what happened?"

Janet played with a piece of her hair, "I'll tell you when I get back to the apartment; I'm going to leave tonight." She found that her voice was getting shaky. "I just want to come home…"

"… Okay honey." Terri told her softly, "If you really want to."

"Terri?" Janet inquired.

"Yes?"

"… Can I leave Jack in Indiana?"

She could hear her friend let out a soft chuckle over the phone. "This isn't about you and your family is it?" Terri said gently as she clued in. When Janet didn't answer she sighed, "So what did Jack do?"

Janet was silent yet again.

"Jan, c'mon," Terri said, "If you called me then you obviously wanted to tell me what happened."

"Terri…." Janet whispered in a hushed tone. And then let out the truth in a voice that had no feeling, trying to cover up her emotions and lock them deep inside, "he kissed me," she stated, very monotone.

"Janet," Terri sounded exasperated, "so what? He kisses you all the time. He kisses me all the time; he's a guy, they have issues with lips… it's a proven fact."

"This was different."

Janet could imagine Terri on the other end rolling her eyes in her usual manner. "You're crazy Jan, and over paranoid," she told her simply.

"I am not." Janet snapped at her. She banged the back of her head against the door in frustration, and moved the phone to her other ear. "Last night me and Jack went out to look at the stars, just the two of us," she told Terri slowly, reluctantly, "And when we stood up to leave he said he had to tell me something. Terri… Jack told me he loved me. He kissed me, and it wasn't a friendly one. It was… well it was what everyone dreams of when they finally meet that certain someone. It wasn't the way roommates were ever meant to kiss and it certainly wasn't the way best friends were supposed to kiss. And the scariest part is that I gave in and kissed him right back."

A long pause came from the other end and she almost started to doubt that Terri was even there. As she had replayed the story to her friend thoughts of last night sneaked slyly back into her brain again. Janet couldn't help it, but every time she closed her eyes she could hear Jack's voice running through her head. _Take a risk Janet…because I love you. _Oh, she did want to take a risk, so very, very badly. Wanted to run to his arms and let him whisk her away. When she had left him standing out there in the dark last night as she went back to the house, twice she had almost turned around and ran back to him.

"Janet," Terri enquired, reaffirming that she was still there, "…you two are the most confusing people I've ever met. Why don't you just talk to him?"

"But what could I possibly say? Where would I start?"

"You'd start by remembering that no matter what, that man is still Jack Tripper. He's still the same person he's always been, still you're friend, and he cares about you… and you care for him…"

Janet snorted, "of course we care about each other Terri… I'm just afraid that last night was proof that maybe we care a little too much…"

Terri breathed into the phone, "You can never care 'too much' for someone. Why is it so hard for you to contemplate the idea that after all this time there's a chance of being something more than Jack's good old reliable buddy?"

"Life isn't like that," Janet huffed.

"But why?" Terri probed gently, "Are you blind Janet? I think you're the only person who doesn't see how perfect this is, even Jack understands. In life there are guy friends, and there are best guy friends, and then there is the one person who you have learned you can always depend on, and in this case that person's Jack, and let's state the obvious: he's a guy. See the connection? He's a guy, you're a girl, he cares, you care, he knows you, you know him… and usually when a combination like that is put together you get: ta-da, a classic story of attraction. It's time to realize Janet that sometimes we fall for the person we never thought we would. That's life, suck it up."

"But he's still my best friend," Janet stated softly.

"And I didn't say he wasn't. But Jack can be more than that as well. Rules are meant to be broken… well, sometimes…. And occasionally the boundaries we put up to protect ourselves end up hurting us more than anything else."

Fear erupted into Janet's heart, threatening to overpower her and drowned her in a sea full of doubts. "We just can't risk everything like that, it would be crazy. I spent two years trying to decide if I trusted him or not and the last five years scared to death when I finally realized I did. What could we ever have together?"

"Something that can last," Terri enounced. "He's never left you Janet, and I don't think he ever will."

"You think, but you're not sure," Janet reminded her.

"What are you so afraid of? It's Jack!"

"… I don't want to lose him."

Terri let out an annoyed squeal. "For goodness sake Janet, the man just told you he loves you! Are you just going to sit there doing nothing? If you do, it seems to me that that's the way you're going to lose him, by not telling him how you feel. I know what you feel about Jack, it's written all over your face. You care about him just as much as he cares about you; you're just too damned stubborn to admit it. But you guys can make this work; I know you can… so at least try!"

There was a lull in their conversation as Terri took a breather and Janet tried to take in her previous words. Everything was haywire in Janet's head, she wondered how her and Jack could have ever submerged themselves in such a mess in the first place. She yearned to rewind and start again from three weeks ago, and knowing what she did now, she could've avoided this whole thing. But that wasn't possible. The fact was that last night they had crossed a line, the imaginary line that had held them together through all this time, and now that line was broken. Like humpty-dumpty, it couldn't be put back together again. Terri was right, Janet did care for Jack, and if you wanted to go all out you could even say she was in love with him. But what now? Was Terri correct, could they make this work?

"Just talk to him, okay?" Terri said gently, realizing that even that would be no easy task in itself for Janet.

"… Alright…" she agreed somewhat unwillingly, "he deserves that."

"And Janet," Terri breathed, "Stop worrying. For once trust your feelings; they're more reliable than you think. And trust Jack, he cares about you, he'll never do anything purposefully to hurt you."

"… Okay."

"Good, now I've really got to go, sleep is calling me, but I'll see you two at the end of the week. Don't come home early Janet, stick it out, it'll be worth it in the end. It's just two more days."

"We'll see," Janet sighed, "I should hang up too; my legs are starting to go numb from sitting in this closet."

"You're always taking drastic measures aren't you?"

"Shut up," Janet said with a small smile.

Terri chuckled at her response. "Bye Jan," she grinned, "Good luck."

"Thanks," she replied sarcastically and then turned serious, "… why did Jack have to go and mess all this up? It used to be perfect."

"'Perfect' doesn't last Janet, it turns into something better…" Terri told her softly.

"Well let's pray you're right… bye Ter, and thanks, really."

"Bye."

Janet could plainly hear when Terri disconnected and the line went dead. She placed her own phone back into its cradle and sat in silence for a moment. She buried her head in her lap as if somehow there was a slight chance she could hide and rest undiscovered. But after a few minutes of unpeaceful silence Janet hauled herself to her feet and stretched her cramped muscles. Nothing good would come from just sitting there. She couldn't tell if last night was a night to remember or a night not to remember, but that didn't really matter now; it happened and now she and Jack just had to deal with it.

She loved Jack, and wanted to tell him. But she was hesitant, and stubborn… and terrified; afraid of the unknown, afraid of what lied between them, and scared to death of what life held for them just around the corner. Janet stumbled out of the closet with the phone in her hands and kicked the door shut behind her. She walked down the hallway, placed the telephone back on its original stand and turned towards the staircase. She had just reached the second floor when her mother came out of her bedroom, carrying a pink purse. Janet stiffened at the sight of her and picked up her pace as she rushed down the stairs, hoping that Ruth hadn't noticed her.

"Oh… Janet!" she called out.

Janet's heart sank as she pivoted to meet her mother's gaze, "yes?"

Ruth walked towards the stairs slowly, almost as if she was doing it unwillingly. She covered the two steps down to Janet's level and stared her in the eye. Well, they weren't exactly 'eye level', seeing as Ruth was four inches taller than Janet, but it was close enough. "Where are you headed?" Ruth asked indecisively.

"Nowhere. Where are you headed?" Janet inquired coldly as she motioned stiffly to her purse that was now swung over her shoulder.

"I told Crystal I'd go with her to town today," she told Janet, her voice surprisingly warm.

"Oh…" Janet brushed a piece of hair out of her own face and shrugged as if she couldn't care less, "well, have fun I guess."

Ruth ignored her unmeaning words and smiled softly, "Thanks. When I come home tonight maybe you and I could… have a talk?"

Janet raised an eyebrow slightly, she couldn't even remember the last time they had shared an actual in depth conversation. Instead, the one or two words they did exchange when Janet decided to call home were like now, awkward and unwanted. "Maybe," she said finally, "if I'm not busy."

"Okay, good… that's good," Ruth looked relieved, "I'll see you tonight."

"Probably"

"Well I should get going then," she said after a moment, "don't want to keep Crystal waiting."

Janet nodded and watched as Ruth took off down the steps, a grin plastered on her mother's face. Janet stood there puzzled for a moment and then sighed before continuing her own trek down the staircase. She reached the bottom and took a peek into the living room where her father was reading a leather backed book entitled, _Journey to nowhere. _She shook her head and turned away from the doorway. Glancing into the kitchen, Janet's eyes settled on a young man who had his back to her as he rolled dough on the counter. His feet spread apart; he was locked in his stance of concentration, a stance she had watched him stand in many times before when he had willingly slaved away at the kitchen back in Santa Monica for her and Terri. His untamable sandy brown hair glinted from the light coming through the kitchen window; he was unaware of her presence. Janet felt rooted in place as she stared at Jack. Every nerve in her body screamed at her to go to him, or at least call out his name to let him know she was standing there with her heart in her hands, but she remained silent.

Biting her lip, Janet pulled away from the kitchen doorway and quickly grabbed her coat from the porch. She would talk to Jack, because she knew that was something that had to be done, but not right now. Right now, she needed to be by herself. Janet shrugged her jacket on and yanked open the front door, stepping out into the fresh air and letting the door slam shut behind her.

Janet was halfway down the driveway when she suddenly realized that she had no idea where she was going. Janet remembered the name of her father's book: _Journey to nowhere_, and smiled. It fit her situation perfectly. She continued down the dirt road, kicking at a stone with her foot and simply allowed her feet to guide her. They seemed to move of their own accord, as if they had a certain destination in mind, but for the life of her she had no idea where that destination was. Letting her mind wander Janet stared up into the trees and breathed freely without worry for the first time that day as she strutted forwards… on her own journey to nowhere…

_::_

_You can close your eyes to the things, _

_You don't want to see, _

_But you cannot close your eyes to the things, _

_You do not want to feel. _


	11. Hearts And Flowers

**Merry Christmas! Have a wonderful Holiday, here's my present to you. Enjoy! :) **

**~ C.A.**

Chapter eleven: Hearts and Flowers

_One of the hardest things in life, _

_Is having words in your heart, _

_That you can't utter. _

_**~ James Earl Jones **_

_::_

With a long drawn out sigh Jack pulled his tenth batch of cookies out of the oven. Whenever anything felt like it was falling apart around him he baked and since at the moment he felt like he was slowly and painfully losing Janet, Jack fell into his supreme chef-mode. Usually it was a way of disillusioning him and for a while it often allowed his worries to trickle out of his head, but not this time. This time nothing seemed to fill the hole that was forming from the rift torn between Janet and himself, not even cooking did the trick.

Jack placed the new set of cookies on the sideboard with all the others and stared at them. They were chocolate chip, Janet's favourite. He tore the oven mitts off of his hands and dumped them on the table, his temper smouldered dangerously high and he had no idea why. Jack was so confused, head spinning; he wondered how Janet could unknowingly mess with his emotions like this. How did she do it?

"Hey Kyle, where's the basketball?" Raymond's loud voice resonated into the kitchen. Jack heard the footsteps of Janet's three brothers as they pounded down the stairs.

"Dunno," Kyle responded as they entered the kitchen.

"It's in the wreck room, I'll go get it," Gaige told them as he headed off towards the basement steps.

Raymond and Kyle turned and suddenly noticed Jack over by the stove, ten pans of cookies lined the sideboards, and he stared back at them sullenly, a blank look on his face. "Hey man," Raymond smiled as he trotted over and grabbed a cookie from the counter, "where are you going with all these?"

Jack shrugged. Why did these two deserve to be so happy while his whole world was falling apart at the seams? "I just felt bored I guess."

Kyle took a bite from a cookie and chewed slowly, "where's Janet?"

"No idea," Jack replied truthfully. He had heard the front door slam about an hour ago and had watched as Janet walked down the driveway and then out of sight. He didn't know where she was headed and frankly she looked like she had no clue as well, she was just walking.

"Well," Kyle swallowed the cookie and wiped his mouth, "why don't you come with us, we're going to the church parking lot for a game of basketball. We could play two-on-two."

Raymond nodded, "yeah, c'mon it'll give you something to do."

"I've got something to do," he told them, motioning to the collection of cookies.

"Yeah… but if you keep that up this place will be a gingerbread house," Raymond chuckled.

Jack looked around the kitchen. It wasn't as if he had anything better to do… He'd talked to Janet if he could but he had no idea where she went, and he feared that if he didn't find something to preoccupy himself with until she returned then he'd go completely insane. "Let me go grab my sneakers," Jack announced.

Gaige bounded back into the room with the basketball tucked under his arm and watched as Jack hurried into the porch and tied his shoes up tightly. "Are you coming too?" he asked, for he had been absent for the last few minutes.

"Yeah," Raymond answered for Jack, "poor guy needs something to do." He pointed towards the dozens of cookies piled onto the counter.

"I see…" Gaige said and scratched his head.

Kyle ushered them all out the door, including Jack, and they set off at a brisk pace down the dirt drive. Jack watched closely as the three brothers chattered about subjects that in his opinion were pointless, such as which color to paint their all-terrain vehicle and how they were going to split the cost equally. They included Jack in their discussions, asking for his thoughts and inquiring if he had ever ridden an all-terrain vehicle before. When he informed them that he didn't even know what it was they all laughed and then changed the topic of talk to one he was more familiar with, cars.

He shook his head as they marched onward towards the parking lot with their basketball, but surprisingly Jack found that this meaningless gibbering was reeling him in. It let him relax and pushed stabbing thoughts of Janet out of his mind. And he realized abruptly that as odd as it sounded, sometimes the soul needs pointlessness to bring it back to reality.

_::_

She had walked like a soft summer breeze blowing freely in the wind, not caring where she went or where she came from. And when Janet finally stopped she found that her feet were planted directly in front of Dorothy's shabby house. Pausing only for a second, she trailed up the front steps and without knocking tugged at the creaking wooden door. Janet stepped into the house and her nose was met with the smell of some kind of air cleanser, she breathed in deeply as she glanced around the home.

Dull light penetrated the drapes that were drawn over the windows; Janet pulled off her shoes and her bare feet touched the worn carpet as she called out gently. "Aunt Dorothy?" her voice shattered the silence, "Are you home?"

"In the kitchen!" came the carried reply.

Her memory kicked in as she suddenly remembered the layout of the house and that the kitchen was down the short hallway to her right. Without a moment's hesitation Janet trotted in that direction. She rounded the corner and sure enough in front of her eyes was the small galley kitchen, her memory served her well. The beige wallpaper that had long ago faded to yellow still covered the background, only interrupted by a single window with a floral printed curtain. The counter tops were an old fashioned sanded wood with a soft glossy look and the propane oven sat beside the tall white refrigerator. Against one wall, just below the window, the rickety table for two was placed with one chair for Aunt Dorothy and one for Uncle Lucas. It was just how Janet remembered and for a minute she thought she had turned back into a child all over again.

Dorothy was over by the stove hauling a whistling teapot off the back burner. She glanced up at Janet, "would you like some tea, Honey?"

She nodded and sat down at the table. Dorothy placed the steaming mug in front of Janet and plopped a teabag into it, then she turned and grabbed a small plate and filled it full of ginger cookies before setting it in the middle of the table. She sat down across from Janet and pushed another teabag into her own cup.

"So you decided to come and visit me," Dorothy stated nonchalantly.

Janet stirred the continents of her cup and then pried the teabag out as she took a sip of the drink. She smiled softly, "I told you I would."

Dorothy reached for a ginger cookie, "Honey, people tell me they'll do a lot of things, but they never get around to keeping their word and actually doing it. I didn't know for sure if you'd show up or not."

"But I did," Janet told her as she set her tea back down, "and here I am, visiting you just like I said."

"That you are," Dorothy smirked and then looked Janet over, "gosh, eight years is a long time. You've changed so much Janet, I know I've already told you, but I just can't get over it."

Janet propped her arms on the table and rested her chin in her hands, "Aunt Dorothy, I'm not the same person I was."

"Yes you are," she said firmly, "you've changed, but you're still the Janet Wood I remember. You still have your father's smile, and your mother's stubbornness and her big brown eyes. You're still the same person, you've just-"

"Matured?" Janet tried.

Dorothy chuckled, "Sweetie, no one matures until they become old and wrinkled, like me. It's the only good thing about aging, your body is no longer graceful and beautiful, but your soul certainly is. No, Honey you still have years and years before you have to worry about that; you haven't matured, you've just… changed."

Janet dipped a cookie in her tea and munched on it slowly. "How have I 'changed' exactly?" she asked as she chewed.

"I can't really put my finger on it, you just look… healthier."

Janet furrowed her brow, confused.

Dorothy shook her head, "I don't mean physically, I mean you look healthier inside. Happier. When you left Alton you were so… broken, almost like you were mad at the world. But now Sweetie, I can see some love in your eyes, some trust, and if I look close enough I can even see a little bit of hope too." She smiled, gazing into Janet's eyes with a slight look of amusement on her face. "You grew up."

Janet leaned back in her chair and felt her lips pull upwards into a grin, "you have to if you want to live in Santa Monica."

"I forgot; you and Jack share an apartment with another girl, don't you?" Dorothy inquired.

"Yes, Chrissie used to live with us, Chrissie Snow", Janet smiled at the thought, "she was such a bubble head, but the sweetest girl you'd ever meet. She'd do anything for you, and Jack and I loved her to pieces." She laughed, "For the longest time we were the inseparable trio, but then one day her mother suddenly became ill and Chrissie left to take care of her. She was supposed to come back when her mother was better, but… she never did." Janet frowned as she remembered the day Chrissie had called from Fresno and told her she wasn't coming back. She had been happy for Chrissie, and respected her decision, but they still cried their hearts out over the phone that night, until eventually they both fell asleep with the phone cradled limply to their ears. Two friends separated by about three-hundred miles between Santa Monica and Fresno. And Jack had found Janet fast asleep on the couch when he had finally returned home from work, the phone still clutched in her hand… and tearstains lining her face.

Janet took another ginger cookie from the plate and sighed before continuing, "And then Chrissie's cousin came to stay with us for awhile, Cindy. She was cute; very naïve, and _very_ clumsy. Cindy was quite young though, and after a year or so she enrolled to U.C.L.A to become a vet and she moved into the campus there." Janet broke a piece off the cookie and ate it, "Now Terri Alden is our roommate, she's a nurse… which is good since Jack is always finding some way to unintentionally hurt himself. Terri's real nice, and loves to help… sometimes even when her help isn't needed. She usually has tones of energy, most of the time she's always ready to go somewhere or do something, but lately she's been tired from her job. I swear they're overworking her, but Terri would never quit her job in the hospital, not if it involves helping people."

Dorothy smiled, "They all sound like sweet girls."

"They are," Janet nodded.

Dorothy grabbed the teacups and the now empty plate and placed them in the sink. She scrubbed them clean with her back to Janet. "And what about Jack?" she asked, "He seems like a fine young man."

She gave an exasperated sigh, walked over to Dorothy and leaned against the counter. She had been trying to forget about him for at least a couple hours, but he found a way back into conversation, yet again.

Dorothy smirked, "that doesn't sound like you agree with me."

"Jack," Janet stated coldly, feeling suddenly frustrated, "is a person who I thought was a lady's man, a letch, a perverted scumbag, but that was okay with me because I _knew_ who he was and he also just so happened to be my very best friend. But now, I don't know what he is."

Dorothy returned to her seat at the table and Janet followed. "Honey, I don't follow. You'll have to explain a little better than that," she said as Janet copied her previous motion and sat down too.

"I can't explain, because I have no idea what's going on either. I don't know what I feel anymore," she took a long breath, "it's like a game of tug-a-war is constantly taking place inside my head. Jack's been my closest friend for so long, but Aunt Dorothy in a matter of seconds our friendship completely tore itself apart. I never thought it was possible to care so much for just one person… I love him." Janet glared at Dorothy, the confusion evident in her brown eyes, "but… what do I do with that? Where do we go from here?"

"I'm not saying a word." Dorothy laced her fingers together on top of the table, "Janet, if you love him then you should already know what to do."

"That's it?" Janet asked, unbelieving, "you're not even going to give me any advice?"

Dorothy shook her head, "No. I will not live your life for you. You're not a child; you have common sense, so use it."

"I feel like I'm a thousand miles from the tide," she mumbled in a semi desperate tone as she ran her hands through her hair agitatedly.

"Sometimes a thousand miles from the tide is the best place to be, at least that way there's no chance of being swept out to sea," Dorothy told her softly, playing along with the metaphor.

Janet sighed, "But what if I want to be swept out to sea?"

Dorothy shrugged, "well then… pray for rain."

Janet was silent as she felt a tinge of anger start to broil inside her, this pointless talk, it meant nothing, and it didn't help her in any way. "Aunt Dorothy," she said finally, "I need your help; I need you to help me."

"Honey, you know I'll always help you when you need me, but this problem doesn't involve me. It involves you and Jack, so why are you sitting here? Janet, I'll tell you this: if you can't get someone off your mind then they're probably supposed to be there. Go find him, tell that poor man how you feel and for once in your life take the simple road and follow your heart."

Dorothy's words struck her. It was like she had been sitting in the dark for so long and then, in one simple moment the light was switched back on, she could see again. Janet felt as if her heart was jarring inside her, knocking down the barriers, tearing the walls apart, setting itself free. She glanced over at Dorothy; her aunt just looked back with a smile; she knew exactly what was going on inside her niece. Janet felt as if the breath had been knocked out from her lungs, she could finally see the silver lining, the bottom line, the foundation: she needed Jack. She had already known that, but now she could also see that she didn't only need him, he was more than that, Janet had been friends with Jack for so long; they had laughed together, stood beside each other, and held each other. They had lived life together. And through all that time Jack had become a part of her. He was the living, breathing piece of her heart that held the heartbeat, the pounding in her ears that let her know she was still breathing, the life. She loved him, and couldn't hold herself back anymore, it hurt too much to be bottled up inside. How could she possibly hide the truth from him any longer? She needed to tell him, not soon, not in awhile… but now.

The risks suddenly didn't matter anymore.

Jack loved her, he had told her, and that was the beginning of everything. Love was enough, it was all the reassurance she needed.

Janet rose from the table and pushed in her chair. She felt dazed, but at the same time more alive than she'd felt in what seemed like forever. "I have to go…"

"Yes you do," Dorothy agreed, she stood and took Janet to the door. She pried the front door open and before Janet could step outside she grabbed her tightly and hugged her. Janet hugged Dorothy back quickly, and felt her eyes grow hot and stingy. A sign that tears were on their way. The realisation of everything was just too much to bear; the truth had hit her hard like someone had thrown a softball at her head. She took a slow breath and Dorothy patted her back. "Honey, it's not a sin to cry."

Janet pulled back and wiped her eyes as she sniffed. "I'm fine."

Dorothy grinned, "Like I said before, you're stubborn like your mother." She motioned to the stone steps, "Now get going, I'll see you later."

She took a step forward and then turned abruptly, "Aunt Dorothy," she blurted, not entirely sure where the words came from, "thank you… for listening to all this, I know you probably have better things to do… I really appreciate it…"

"Honey," Dorothy touched her shoulder, "I'm never too busy for family."

Family. Janet smiled at the word. Family; a bunch of people who not only shared blood, but hopes and dreams as well. She was blessed with an incredible family, well, if you didn't count her mother, and she was grateful that she had them beside her. These last few days had been proof that even though she felt like she had walked out on them, they still loved her. The only problem came with Ruth, even the thought of her put a sour taste in Janet's mouth, but then again family was after all still family.

She bid a farewell to Dorothy and descended the stone stairs. Janet found that there was a newfound spring in her steps. She pranced when she was happy, when excitement and blissful delight mingled in her brain to the point that she felt like she was going to overflow, and this was one of those times. She moved on in a hurry, wanting to find Jack, wanting to shout the truth, and wanting to finally tell him how much she cared. The platonic past, or whatever you wanted to call the last eight years, had been one heck of a ride. There were ups and downs and everything in between, but Janet wouldn't change it for the world. It had defined who she and Jack were today, and had brought them to this moment, this piece in the essence of time when they could both finally realize that there was no denying how much they needed each other.

It scared Janet to think that she was giving into these feelings for Jack, but then again she supposed that was just the way life went. It could please you, it could tear you down, and it could make you love who you thought you were protected from. The person that you once thought you could never love more than a friend could suddenly turn into the person you had been looking for all along. It seemed partially insane, but it was life.

_::_

Jack was sweating buckets. Never in his life had he played such an intense game of any kind of sport. He had always been fairly good at basket-ball, but never had he met anyone who could play as well as Gaige, Kyle and Raymond. It didn't matter that they were only playing in an empty parking lot, or that the hoops had been fixed so many times in the past that they looked like heaps of junk standing on opposite ends of the black pavement. The brothers dribbled swiftly, passed agilely, shot with precision, and left Jack in the dust. He had been on Gaige's team, and well, let's just say Kyle and Raymond won… by a lot. Jack remembered the beaming smile on Gaige's face when the game had ended and he had wondered how Gaige could still be so happy after taking such a licking from his own brothers. But it wasn't about who won and who lost. Jack realized afterwards that they were fully content with losing; all they cared about was playing the game, and simply trying their best.

The four of them were on their way back to the house now, Kyle twirled the ball on his finger and Gaige was taking a swig from a water bottle he had been smart enough to bring along. Jack felt like he was a part of their group, they talked to him as if he was their long lost brother, the quadruplet, with such ease and acceptance. He was contented in their presence, there was no awkwardness. It was almost as easy to talk to them as it was to talk to Janet. He wiped his brow. "I'm serious, where did you learn to play like that?" The question was directed to all of them, because they were all incredibly talented.

Kyle laughed, and Gaige smirked as he screwed the top back on his water, but it was Raymond who answered. He seemed to be the leader of his brothers and he smiled at Jack, "well when you live in Alton, Indiana. There's only so much to do."

"Awe, c'mon," Jack motioned around him, "you can do anything you want here. You're free, no one around to stop you. In the city, it's crowded, you're closed in, and it feels like every move you make is being watched."

Jack suddenly realized how much he loved Janet's hometown, even though he had only been here for a few days.

Kyle shrugged, "you take the city for granted Jack. Here, if you want food you have to drive for two hours to the nearest grocery store. If you hurt yourself, well then suck it up because the hospital is four hours away. There aren't any movie houses, any stores, any restaurants; we don't even have a library."

Jack hadn't really thought of all that until now. Kyle had a point, Alton was almost completely severed from the rest of the planet, and its inhabitants seemed to live in a bubble, separated from the rest of the world.

"Don't get me wrong," Kyle told him, "I love it here, I wouldn't move away for the life of me. This is my home. But sometimes I wonder what Janet gained when she moved away… and if it was worth what she left behind."

It was silent for a moment and Jack cleared his throat. "So out of all of you, Janet's the only child of your parents who's ever moved away?" he asked even though he knew the answer.

"Yes," Gaige said, entering the conversation, "But anyone could have guessed that she would never stay in Alton even before she had said she wanted to leave. In a way, Janet was always different than the rest of us. She could always see the big picture in a way we couldn't. We all knew that we're cut off from the rest of civilization, that much is evident, but it didn't really bother us like it bothered Janet. To her, Alton represented isolation, and isolation meant that she would never have a chance to grow, or experience what life has to offer, or to just be known. Janet may be our sister, and we love her to pieces, but I guess you could say she's cut from a different stone."

Jack slowed his pace as his mind seemed to take off. "I talked to your mother; she told me what happened between the two of them."

"Mom would do anything to take it back," Raymond spoke softly and kicked at some dirt beneath his feet, "She feels terrible."

"I convinced her to try to talk to Janet," Jack tried, hoping his encouragement to Ruth would help, and not harm her and Janet's relationship further.

Kyle looked up, "maybe that's what they need: the opinion of someone from the outside, who's not part of the family."

"But do you think Janet would even give mom the time of day to try to explain herself?" Raymond asked his eyes full of concern.

Jack sighed, "Probably not." Janet usually didn't stay mad at someone for very long, but when she did it was an intense anger, something that could burn a hole into her heart and harden her.

They had reached the house by then and as they walked across the lawn Jack's stomach did a full back flip. Beside the stairs leading up to the front door was a patch of flowers that had never really caught his eye… until now, because watering those flowers was Janet. She stood with her back to them as she held a watering-can over the flowerbed, but when she heard their footsteps she turned. Her eyes immediately met his as she noticed him, and he could see the swirling conflict behind them. Janet raised her hand and waved, "Hey guys." Her smile looked as real as any, but Jack sensed it was fake.

"Hi Jan," Kyle called back as he trotted up the front steps.

Raymond ruffled her hair as he walked past her and into the house behind Kyle, "we were just talking about you."

"No kidding." She held the smile until Gaige entered the house as well, then let it fall from her face. Jack was halfway up the steps, knowing he had to talk to her but also unsure of what to say. His courage suddenly gave out and he climbed the stairs hurriedly to the door.

"Jack," Her voice stopped him like a dime and he found himself turning reluctantly.

"Yeah?"

"Can I… talk to you?" She asked, with instant uncertainty. Her eyes looked confused and terribly unsure of anything, making Jack's heart ache.

He descended the stairs and faced her, "Sure, yeah. What's wrong?" It was a stupid question. They both knew what was wrong.

Janet set down her watering-can slowly, never breaking eye contact. "Dad told me you guys went to play basketball at the church, how was it?"

"Great" Jack shrugged, "It was… great."

Janet's lips curled upwards slightly into an almost insignificant smile at his lack of words. Jack cleared his throat, "Where have you been?"

"I went to go visit Aunt Dorothy," her eyes clouded, "I needed some advice."

Jack nodded nonchalantly. On the outside he tried to keep his facial features and his stance in check, but on the inside it felt like the Krakatoa volcano was erupting in his head, scattering his emotions and making it hard to think straight. Standing this close to Janet physically, but having a rift greater than anything they've ever experienced between the two of them emotionally seemed cruelly ironic. Before last night's kiss Jack had been able to reach out and hold her hand, or wrap an arm around her waist, or give her cheek a quick peck and it had all seemed natural, but now he was afraid to even touch her.

Her eyes searched him, those big brown eyes that knew him so well. He felt like she was examining his soul with X-ray vision and he looked away, scared of what she'd find if she searched too deep within his heart. "Jack," Janet whispered softly, "look at me."

Jack glanced over at her, wondering if she could tell what he was thinking. Could she see how badly he wanted to work whatever had happened between them out? Could she tell he was restraining himself from reaching out to grab her and haul her to him and kiss her like he had last night? Did Janet know his heart had shattered into thousands of pieces and that only she could put it back together again? Jack sucked in a breath. "Listen Jan," he said suddenly, remembering what Ruth had told him. About life. About the person you wanted beside you. About love. "I can't li-"

"Wait," she cut him off abruptly. Janet bit her lip and then took a step closer, putting herself directly in front of him. She reached out and placed a hand on his arm. There was fear in her eyes, along with trust, want and hope. And as the emotions shone at him through her eyes Jack silently told himself that they were some of the best things in the world. "Jack I've thought about everything," she told him, her voice shaky, "and it's scaring me to death, standing here and telling you this, but somebody has to say something and I thought it should be me. Jack, sometimes people put up walls, not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down. I put up walls, and set boundaries, and you tore them all down until I stood before you beaten and broken with nothing left to hide. You broke me, last night proved that much, but it was what I needed. I had to be broken in order to be fixed. And for everything we've been through, for all that you've done to me… for being the person I needed, Jack… I lo-"

"Janet."

Jack had to take a moment to register where exactly the interruption had come from. Who dared spoil this moment? It was the moment that could make or break them, and someone had just ruined it. They both glanced up to the door where Ruth was standing. Jack felt his temper burn at how she could just waltz lazily into their conversation, until he noticed the look in Janet's mother's eyes. They were blazing with an intense bout of fright; he could tell that something was on her mind that meant the world to her. And then he clued in. He had told her to talk to Janet, and so, here she was, trying to do just that.

Ruth stood awkwardly at the door; she looked as if she wanted to be anywhere else but here. Jack knew she had been terrified with the whole idea of confronting her daughter and he understood the strength it must've token to summon up the courage to actually stand there. Besides, she had no idea him and Janet were in the middle of the conversation that could hold all the answers the two of them had been desperately searching for. Jack glanced over at Janet and could see the frustration on her face, and behind that frustration laid anger, years and years of it. Hate for her own mother. Jack realized that Janet couldn't keep on living with that eating at her heart, it would burn her alive, and he didn't want to see either one of them suffer any longer. He took a breath; he had been waiting hopelessly for this moment with Janet to come. The moment where she confessed what they both already knew, that meeting each other was pure fate, becoming each other's friend was a choice, but falling in love with each other… had been beyond their control. But if he had waited this long, then he could wait a bit longer so that a mother and a daughter could finally make up and forgive.

"Janet," Ruth tried again, this time with a little bit more assurance, "could I speak to you?"

Janet looked ready to object, and so Jack put a hand on her shoulder. "Sure," he responded for her. Janet looked over at him, confusion evident on her pretty face. Jack drew her closer and kissed her forehead, "I'll wait here until you come back."

He watched as she hesitated briefly, before giving in and nodding. He could tell she was unsure, but willing to trust his judgement. Janet looked up at Ruth, and pulled away from Jack, up the steps, and disappeared into the house. Ruth began to shut the door behind her before suddenly stopping to glance out at Jack. 'Thank you,' she mouthed silently and then closed the door firmly. Jack sighed as he sat down on the stone steps, alone. _So close, but yet…_He told himself silently,_ so far._

_::_

_When you smiled, _

_You had my undivided attention, _

_When you laughed, _

_You had my urge to laugh with you, _

_When you cried, _

_You had my urge to hold you, _

_When you said you loved me, _

_You had my heart forever. _


	12. Jack Bares All

**This was a toughy. It was hard to get down all that I wanted to go through in this chapter, and I ended up cutting out two or three pages in the end. Hope you enjoy it! (I honestly don't own Three's Company... I know, it's sad isn't it.) **

**- C.A **

Chapter twelve: Jack bares all

_FORGIVENESS, _

_Is not something, _

_We do for other people, _

_We do it for ourselves, _

_-To get well and move on- _

_::_

Jack had been right in front of her, and she had been so very close to telling him what she felt for him. It had almost happened. Just three more seconds and everything could've fallen into place, if she had been given three more seconds Janet could've whispered the words _I love you_ and then after that everything would've been so simple. She could imagine his reaction in her mind, he would take her by the waist and bring her towards him and he would kiss her long and slow. Pouring out everything that had been locked inside. Jack would've kissed her like he had last night, leaving her breathless and wanting more, but this time they never would've had to let go and return to being 'just friends' because of those three words he had said to her the other night, the same three words she would've whispered to him just now. _I love you. _Too bad she never had the chance.

Her mother had ruined a lot of things for her in the past, and Janet supposed Ruth saw it fit to ruin the moment her and Jack had been waiting on for so long too. Now of all times her mother wanted to talk? What perfect timing… Janet's face was set in a frown as she followed Ruth to her father's study, a place where there would be privacy. Janet didn't want to be anywhere near her mother right now, she wanted to be with Jack, confessing everything she had hid from him. But Jack had told her to do this, and so she would trust him. Swallowing her pride, she entered the study as Ruth eased the door shut behind them.

There was a moment of silence as both women inspected the other. It was hard to tell by their straight and tense posture that at one point, when Janet was a kid, they had been inseparable. Because, now in the present day, as they were stuck in the same room as each other they both looked like they wanted to be anywhere else than here. Ruth breathed out slowly, and Janet noted the expression on her face, it looked almost like fright, like she was afraid to be standing there and face the reaction Janet would have to what she had to say. In a twisted way her mother's fear made Janet somewhat content. "Janet," Ruth began; her voice serious and very straight forward, "We have to have this talk, we both know that, but this isn't going to be easy for either of us."

Janet stiffened coldly, "then it should be just like the past eight years."

"At least make an effort to hold your tongue Janet, I haven't even said anything yet," Ruth snapped back, her words quick and direct. Janet hated when her mother sounded like that, like she had better things to do. It made it seem like talking to Janet was at the bottom of her priorities and that she was only doing it to say that at least she made an attempt to work things out. Ruth tried to let the bitterness flow from her, and for a moment Janet thought she saw a genuine sparkle in her eyes, but only for a moment. "Sweetie," she said softly, unexpectedly reminding Janet of when she was a child and Ruth would make up silly names for her as she tucked her into bed. Those were the days when Janet had thought she would want to stay in Indiana forever, the days when she actually had a mother who treated her like a daughter. "It's been eight years Janet," Ruth stated simply.

Eight years of hurt. Eight years of anger. Eight years of hate towards each other. Janet blinked, eight years was a **long time**.

Ruth sighed; her tone was suddenly full of sympathy and care. "I never thought I would ever let something like this happen between me and my children. Janet, what I did to you was terrible; I wanted you to stay in Indiana and did all that I could to keep you here with the rest of the family. I thought I was looking out for you, I thought I was trying to keep you safe. But what I was really doing was depriving you from having the chance to grow and to live. It wasn't until you left that I realized what a selfish git I had become, and that I may be your mother, but you are not me. You didn't want the same things I wanted, and you would never be the person that I was, because we were different. Two very different people. But by the time I accepted that, you were gone. You have to understand that I never wanted to hurt you, Janet. I haven't seen you in so long, I hardly know you anymore. You grew up without me Honey, and I'll never be able to forgive myself for letting that happen. Maybe I don't know you, but I want to, you're my daughter Janet and no matter what happens I will always love you."

Janet was confused. These words were kind and sincere, but they were coming from someone who had hurt her and who had cut a hole through her heart. "Mom," the name felt awkward on her tongue, "how can you expect me to believe that you felt sorry for what happened when you never even tried to fix it until now?"

"I didn't have the courage to face you until now. After what I put you through I thought you wouldn't even want to look at me."

Well… she was right about that; it was still hard to look at her, even now, eight years later. Janet clenched her teeth, why did everything have to be so hard? "Well, why is now any different?" she asked, feeling her defensiveness jump into action, "Why do you suddenly want to work all this out now?"

"Because I've put it off for too long Honey," Ruth glanced down at her hands, "I thought the pain would maybe go away and that after a period of time we could forget it altogether, but it didn't work. It's still hurting us, and if we don't fix it then the hurt will keep getting worse, keep cutting deeper."

"Are you sure you're trying to do this for _us?_" Janet questioned, "Or are you just doing this for yourself? So you won't have to live with the guilt any longer."

Ruth looked taken aback, "Of course I'm doing it to get rid of the guilt; can't you see that it's breaking me? But Janet, I'm also doing this so that you can see that it's alright to trust people. What happened between me and you won't happen every time you put your trust into someone. Look at you, because of a terrible mistake I made you haven't trusted a single soul in the last eight years."

"I trust Jack," she said defensively, her words true.

"Yes, you're right, you do trust Jack," Ruth smiled, "but it must've been a hard thing for you to do and it certainly didn't take overnight."

Janet didn't want to admit that her mother was right. Learning to trust again had been a painful process, it had been heart wrenching, and at some times she even had to do a little soul searching. It had taken a terribly long time to reach the point where she could actually say she trusted Jack, and even then it was still hard.

"We're mother and daughter Janet, we're supposed to be there for each other. Maybe we haven't done that in the past, but we could start now. Better late than not at all." Ruth informed her, each word instantly ripping at Janet's heart.

Janet felt tense as she tried to block out all emotion. "You can't do this," she told her mother as her anger built, "you can't just say all these words of 'forgiveness' and 'how you're so sorry' and expect me to be able to go back to before, like all this never happened. I'm sorry, but I can't do that. I don't want to. It happened, and it was awful, how can I forget something like that?"

Ruth shook her head, "I don't want you to forget, I'm asking you to forgive…"

"Well I can't do that!" Janet clenched her fists, "You ruined everything I had, my whole life, and forced me to start all over again with nothing. And if that's not bad enough, now you're suddenly back in my life, trying to get me to forgive you. What more do you want from me? What can I possibly give that you haven't already pried away? I'm finally recovering from the blow you've dealt me. Don't ask me to take another one. I can't."

Ruth seemed desperate now, her eyes pleading with her to understand, but Janet's anger was too high, and too dark. It smothered her common sense and her thoughts that maybe forgiveness was the right path. She had never felt so enraged before, and the adrenaline shot through her limbs at an incredible speed, drowning out her usual down-to-earth self. Her anger smothered the room's atmosphere and made Ruth's words feel feeble and worthless. "Janet… I made a mistake…"

"Hell right you did!" Janet didn't even now where the words were coming from. They flew from her mouth like a foreign language; it was as if someone else was saying it for her. But in a way, in some awful way they felt good. The words gave her power. "You messed up my life enough. I don't want your pity, and I don't want to forgive. I just want you out of my life once and for all," she spat.

Ruth looked like she had just been delivered multiple slaps to the face. Her hurt was undeniably evident, but Janet didn't care. This was the woman who had caused so much pain, there was no way she was going to let her back inside to do it again. "Honey… please listen to me, I'm so sorry."

Janet felt the black anger, it seemed to control her. "Don't you dare call me 'Honey'," she hissed, "In two days I'm leaving for Santa Monica. I don't ever want to see you again. I hate everything about you. Get out of my head! Get out of my life!" Consumed by hatred, Janet whipped her hand out and in one swift movement struck Ruth plain across the face. "You are NOT my mother!"

Ruth stumbled back from the force of Janet's words and from her blow she had delivered. She reached up and put a hand on her cheek where Janet's handprint was clearly visible. Hardly understanding what just happened, Janet stood there silently and stared. The power she had felt crashed to the floor and the anger dissolved like powder. She stared blankly at her mother, who stared back, she too was unsure if Janet had just hit her. Janet felt closed in, unable to process thoughts and wanting to desperately escape, she turned clumsily and dashed out of the room. Running down the hall, she made her way to the porch and without bothering with shoes or a coat she threw the front door open with her now stinging hand. The hand that had just scorched Ruth's face.

Jack was sitting on the bottom step waiting for her, and as he whirled around Janet felt hot tears spill out over her cheeks, blurring her vision. Jack was immediately on his feet, confusion and shock plainly written into his face.

"Janet?"

Janet heaved a sob, incapable of speaking. She descended the steps, and Jack reached out to her, but she jerked away. She turned, unable to face him, feeling as if everything was crashing around her and that the world was disappearing underneath her feet. She had thought that her heart had broken in the past many times, but this was the real thing. It felt as if someone had grabbed it roughly and was tearing it straight down the middle. Janet heard soft words come from Jack and felt his hand on her shoulder as he reached for her again, but she shrugged it off and not knowing what else to do she did the only thing that came to her dishevelled mind: she ran.

_::_

Jack didn't understand, _couldn't_ understand. He had thought that Ruth and Janet had what it took to work their anger towards each other out. He had seen the look in Ruth's eyes that morning when he had talked to her at the breakfast table, it had been a look of shame and a look that seemed to say she was ready to forgive, and be forgiven. Jack thought he was doing a good deed for Janet and her mother by convincing Ruth to talk to Janet, but apparently he made a mistake. What had gone wrong?

Janet was long gone by now, she had run off, out of sight and he had no idea where she went. When she burst out of the house the pain on her face had shocked him; he had never seen her so wounded in his life. There had been a deep aching in her eyes, like a scab from the past had just been torn open and was bleeding and weeping all into her heart. What upset him the most were the tears; they had spilled out of her eyes and cascaded down the sides of her face freely. He had watched tears form in Janet's eyes before and occasionally she would even let a few fall onto her cheeks, but never had they flowed with such unrestraint. Janet was a girl who held her emotions in check, he couldn't say he had witnessed a time when they had gotten the best of her, until now. Jack felt like he had just seen the impossible take place.

Suddenly, behind him Ruth swung open the door. Jack turned slowly; his reactions partially delayed and glanced over at her with questioning eyes. She looked confounded and just as confused as he felt. Jack noticed that her hand was clutched over her left cheek and hesitantly she removed it, revealing a blotchy red mark, a handprint. He let his imagination run and realized that the mark was strikingly similar to the size and shape of Janet's small hand, he should know, he had held it often enough in the past. Ruth swallowed and leaned against the door, it was obvious she was much more hurt emotionally than physically.

"What happened?" he asked, unsure of how to react or what to say.

He watched as Ruth shook her head back and forth tardily. "I was wrong," she said, her tone striking a defeated chord, "she doesn't want to forgive me."

Jack ran a hand through his hair, not willing to believe that Janet must have lost control of herself back there in that room. "She's probably just a little upset," he tried, "she'll be fine."

"No Jack," Ruth said; a hint of sympathy present in her voice, "She's not fine. Janet is hurting, and I tried to fix it, but I can't. She's not ready to forgive me Jack, not yet."

Jack slumped down to the steps and sighed, "If I hadn't made you talk to her then this wouldn't have happened. I should've just let it be."

Ruth paused before reaching out and putting a hand on his back, "It's not your fault. You tried to help and if anything it shows that you care."

"Sometimes caring for someone just isn't enough," he mumbled.

"Don't you dare talk like that," Ruth said sternly before sighing, "Jack, Janet doesn't want my apology right now. No matter how highly you think of her she's still human; humans aren't perfect, and so like any normal person she's angry. She's been angry for eight years, and it hurts, a lot. Right now she's hurting more than usual, but she doesn't need me… she needs you. She won't listen to anyone else but you. I need you to go after her."

Jack glanced up at Ruth and after a while he pulled himself to his feet. Janet... _correction_, **his** Janet needed him, so… he would be there. "I'll go find her," he told Ruth, "… and I'll bring her home."

Without waiting for her answer Jack pulled away from the stairs. Finding Janet was his responsibility, all that the two of them had been through in the past and even in the last few weeks had suddenly given Jack the undeniable urge to be there for Janet. In any way he could. He realized as he walked across the lawn in the direction that she had taken, that after what had just happened between her and her mother that Janet probably wouldn't want to even think about what was taking place between her and Jack. But it was okay, Jack decided instantly, he could wait... for Janet he would wait forever. When he reached the driveway and had passed out of sight he increased his pace to a brisk walk, then a jog, and finally a run. His frantic heartbeat pounded in his chest as he picked up speed. Where should he look? Jack walked through the group of houses that formed most of Alton and went to the look off at the end of the hiking trail, thinking there was a chance Janet might have gone there.

When he arrived, his heart fell slightly; she wasn't anywhere to be seen. He wondered out to the edge of the cliff and sat in the exact same place that he and Janet had sat yesterday. Carefully, Jack let his feet hang out over the edge and ran his hand along the patch of grass beside him, the patch where Janet had seated herself next to him just the other afternoon. It was funny how wonderful and beautiful this place had been, but now, without Janet with him the scenery wasn't nearly as breathtaking as he had thought. Gazing out over the ledge, Jack's eyes went to the lake, and the beach that lined it. The white sand sparkled in the evening sun and reminded him somewhat of the beaches in Santa Monica. A walk on the beach was just what he needed; it would give him time to think of where Janet could have gone, and to just get rid of some of the heated emotions that were stuffing up his mind.

Pulling himself to his feet, Jack retraced his steps down from the hiking trail and back into Alton. He took a left turn and trekked through the forest in the direction of the beach until the tree line receded and the sand began. The water on the lake was a deep blue, but unlike the ocean it held a greenish tint as well. Jack breathed in the sweet smelling air deeply, that was one thing you could never do in Santa Monica. The smog and pollution covered everything back home. He went to the water and cupping a handful, he splashed it onto his face. It was cold and as keen as ice, but yet, it was refreshing.

Jack began at a slow pace as he walked along the beach front. The evening air was warm and after a few minutes he stopped to roll up his pants, turning them into make-shift Capri's, he shoved his hands in his pockets and continued on. Ten minutes had passed when Jack heard a familiar sound, it was a low whimper, an expression of hurt that he had heard countless times before that was now being carried by the humid breeze. He glanced up and saw Janet fifty yards ahead of him; she was sitting in the sand by the water's edge with her arms wrapped around her knees. Jack came up behind her quietly, unsure of whether to give away his presence or stay soundless. She was crying. He was still standing ten yards behind her but he could clearly make out her back as it contracted painfully as she sobbed. Her whimpers were uncontained; she didn't believe anyone was around to hear her. Jack stood helplessly in place.

Janet Wood. His roommate. The girl who had threatened him with a soup ladle all that time ago when her and Chrissie had discovered him asleep in their bathtub. She had hid the secret that Jack wasn't really gay from Mr. Roper for three years, actually she had been the one who had made up the scheme in the first place. She had been livid with him when she found him and her sister in his bed... even though they were indeed innocent of anything. She had helped plan his graduation party when his cooking skills had grown enough to graduate culinary school.

She bought him socks for Christmas and ties for his birthday. She didn't mind being straight forward about her opinion of his outfits. She fussed with his suit when he was leaving to go somewhere important. She rolled her eyes darkly every time he brought home another girl. She didn't always laugh at his jokes, but would smile at his attempt to lighten the moment. She hung her pantyhose from the shower curtain and would bang loudly on the door when he was hogging the washroom. Her cooking was lousy. Her hair wasn't blond or streaked or trimmed carefully. Her attempts at exercise were sad. Her nervousness could sometimes spoil everything.

But her smile was full. Her hands fit perfectly in his. Her bohemian attitude would confudle him to the point of no return. Her voice was soft. Her laugh was sparklingly clear. Her eyes were as big as a doe's... and her stare could see into his soul. Her name was Janet, a name she had unknowingly etched into the deepest, realms of his heart.

_Janet Wood._

Jack let the thoughts and the memories fade away. This girl, sitting in front of him now was someone he knew better than anyone. Someone he admired, someone he loved. He watched as she sobbed. Taking a low breath, Jack moved forward, his feet padding against the sand to where Janet sat in a crumpled heap. She stopped sobbing, she had obviously heard his footsteps as he had sneaked up behind her, but she didn't turn around to look at him. He sat directly behind her. Jack hesitated only for a moment as he reached out towards her with gentle hands, and slowly hauled her to him. She avoided eye contact and kept her head down; Jack let his arms settle around her waist and laced his fingers together over her middle.

They sat there in almost complete silence, Janet's soft sobs that she was fighting to keep under control was breaking the stillness somewhat, but Jack didn't care; he just wanted to hold her. This was his friend. This was his companion. This woman was his greatest love and his greatest fear. She was his greatest treasure. This was Janet Wood.

_::_

Janet felt like a dishevelled mess, inside and out. Her bare feet were dirty from running from the house to the beach. There was a grass stain on her knickers from when she had fallen; it was hard to see where you're headed when your eyes are blurred with tears. And the tearstains marked shiny lines on her red cheeks. But worst was the state of her heart. It hurt so bad emotionally that it almost felt like a real physical pain. She wanted it to leave, half of her wanted to rip it out right then and there. She couldn't look up into Jack's face… not when her heart was breaking like this.

Janet had heard him coming when he was about three meters away; she had guessed it was him right away… after all, who else could it have been? He had squatted down in back of her and with a soft touch he had dragged her to him. Janet had let him grip her around the waist, and now they both didn't dare say a word. Not that she could speak even if she tried. Her breath came out in a quiet jagged rhythm, her eyes still producing fresh tears. Janet tried without succeeding to keep her emotions in check, to keep it all in.

"Janet," Jack whispered, his lips next to her ear, "let it out; it hurts more if you hold it in."

She bit her lip, remembering Dorothy's words from earlier on that very day _it's not a sin to cry_. Janet didn't want to 'let it out', but she also didn't want to continue pretending that keeping it locked inside was any better. Although, before she could come to a decision on her own, her lungs, so used to depriving themselves of those long contracting sobs, suddenly seemed to jump back into breathing mode, and her shaky breath ceased. She breathed easily, and her eyes dried, leaving her without any more blurred vision. "Crying is for wimps," she bit back softly…. But not totally convinced anymore.

Jack remained silent, and as she stared at the sand that surrounded them they both took to listening to the harmonious silence that hung above their heads. Jack played with a piece of her hair absently with one hand and she remained against him, unsure if she should speak or not.

Jack took a long sigh. "You know," he said conventionally, sounding like the Jack Tripper she had lived with for so long. A boy who acted upon impulse and joked and fibbed and laughed. Not the man he had become during these past few weeks. "When I first met you I didn't think I would ever see you again. That morning when I woke up in that bathtub I just thought you were someone I had ran into and was stuck in an awkward situation with after one heck of a party. I thought that I would leave after Chrissie dried my clothes and never see either one of you ever again." He paused for a moment and when he spoke again he sounded like the matured Jack. The Jack who could still joke and laugh, but also knew when to be serious. "I never thought I'd share an apartment with you, Chrissie, Cindy and Terri. I never thought I would have to pretend I was gay just to live somewhere. I never imagined all the things we'd have to go through. And it never occurred to me that I'd be one day sitting here on a beach in the southern part of Indiana with you. But... here I am." Jack tucked the piece of hair behind her ear, "and I'm glad it happened, the whole eight years of it."

"We'll never be the way we were, will we?…." Janet glanced up at him and they shared a small smile, an understanding smile that came from remembering the past in apartment 201. But it also held a sense of something bittersweet, as if this smile was signalling the end of that part of their lives, and even though something better was on the way they both would miss the days when laughs were many and worries were few… and friends were just friends and nothing more.

"Janet," Jack sighed, his part of the smile fading away, "If you're upset… don't be upset with your mother, be upset with me. I was the one who convinced her to speak to you."

She didn't understand why he would do that. Janet fought with herself, trying to keep the walls from jumping up around her heart, she cleared her throat softly. "Why?" she asked, cringing at the convicting tone in her own voice.

He shifted beside her. "Because I spoke with her yesterday, and she told me what happened between the two of you. She told me exactly what you told me, that she hurt you…a lot." Jack reached down and took her hand, intertwining their fingers. "But Janet… she's sorry. She wants to move on, but she can't do that if you don't forgive her. If it were possible to take back the past I'm sure she would in a second."

"This isn't any of your business." She told him coldly, withdrawing her hand from his.

Jack shook his head. "Maybe it's not, but I don't care anymore what is and what isn't my business. Janet, I can't just stand by and watch you hurt yourself like this… anger isn't an option, unless you want to be eaten alive. Because that's what anger does, it destroys us… maybe not on the outside, but on the inside. You'll never be able to move forward if you don't go back and forgive first."

Janet let the sand of the beach squish between her toes. She looked up into Jack's eyes and searched them for a long time before finally reaching out for Jack's hand and letting her fingers lace with his again. "I don't want to stay like this, really I don't… I feel like the bad guy, and worse is that I know I probably am. But I don't know how to forgive her Jack… she hurt me so bad… what she did was terrible."

"Forgiving someone is hard, but not impossible." Jack stared at her for a moment. "You can tell her you forgive her and still have to remind yourself that it's true for nights and nights to come. It takes a long time; it's like healing a cut. There will always be a scar, but Janet, you will still be able to get up and walk away when it's all over." Jack stopped and ran his thumb along her hand. "Forgive her Janet."

Janet understood Jack's words, she could never get on with the rest of her life without fixing a mistake between her and her mother… the hurt was too deep to just move past. In order to actually live the rest of her life she had to forgive her mother… in order to move forward with Jack, she had to forgive Ruth. Janet glanced down at their intertwined hands. Because she loved Jack, because she wanted to live, and because whether she wanted to admit it or not she still loved her mother too, she would forgive her.

Janet grappled with her emotions and Jack sat beside her silently, his hand still holding hers, and his other arm wrapped around her. Anger rose to the surface, it was the dark anger she had felt back at the house when she had lashed out at Ruth. Janet fought with it desperately… through the past years the anger had fused itself into her soul, becoming a part of her. It hurt to rip it out, and half of her still didn't completely understand why it had to leave. Wouldn't it be easier to just let it stay put and bury it with walls and walls and lock it inside her heart? She felt Jack draw her a little closer to him. No, it wouldn't help anything to leave it… she had to let it go, so she could let Jack in. Janet closed her eyes. In the silence that followed she chopped away at the ball of anger that was lodged in her heart, every time she tried to pry it away a pain shot through her, but she continued. Leaning into Jack, Janet opened her eyes and felt the tears return… but she was hardly aware as they poured out of her, the only thing that mattered was getting the pain out… once and for all. Finally, Janet dug deep into the very reaches of her being, and with all the love and faith and trust and hope she could muster from her broken heart she whispered silently to herself the words that she had needed to hear for so long.

_Mom…I forgive you. _

She felt her lungs give way and contract from the confession, and she whimpered, Jack gripped her tighter, unsure of what to do. The anger raged as it was thrown out of her, and a small piece tried to latch onto her heart, not willing to let go. Janet let her eyes shut firmly as she took a shaky breath. "I forgive you," she gasped and murmured out loud, and shock rippled through her as the anger suddenly dissolved into nothingness. It was gone. Her heart felt clean and so very quiet without it banging around inside, but it was a good kind of quiet. The best kind. It was forgiveness. It was peaceful. Janet's lids snapped open and she looked at Jack in disbelief. "I forgive her," she said, this time with certainty. "I forgive her," each time with more strength than before.

Janet smiled and then burst into tears all over again. Like an avalanche, everything began to tumble out, but this time they were tears of joy. "Oh Jack!" she cried, sobbing and throwing her arms around his neck, hugging him close, he was the only solid thing around her for support. Jack was quiet and very still, Janet could tell he wasn't sure quite what to do; he had never had to comfort her to such an extent before. She shifted in his arms and buried her head into his chest. Her sobs sounded pathetic to herself, but Jack managed to keep one arm around her and let the other circle her back. Janet clutched the collar of his shirt with her hand, trying to somehow keep at least some small grip on something real, even if it was just a shirt.

"Jan," he sounded worried at her sudden outburst, "Are you alright?"

Unable to speak, she just nodded against his shoulder, holding tight to him, unwilling to let go. She felt free, capable of trusting again and capable of loving again. It hurt to drain the emotions that had been locked inside, but at the same time it felt so good. She was being relieved of a heavy load; all the unshed tears of the past eight years were making their way out. Janet continued to cry, it was all she could manage to do at the moment. Minutes passed and when her tears hadn't ceased even a little Jack turned so that they were sitting face to face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she choked out. Janet tried to smile to let him know she was fine, this was a joyful moment, these were happy tears, but it didn't work. Sobbing some more, and not knowing how to stop, she tried to plug the emotions that were flowing smoothly and easily through her so that she could calm Jack down. Nothing was wrong… everything was just suddenly so right.

"Janet," Jack pleaded, his voice was marked with concern, "stop." Janet shook her head, trying to make him see that she didn't want to right now, actually she couldn't stop crying, it was impossible. Taking her by the arms, Jack's eyes were lighted with panic, "Janet, its okay!"

"I-i know," she spluttered, "everything's okay. T-that's why I'm crying." Janet coughed and wiped her eyes as the tears came to a slow. "I forgave her Jack… I forgave mom."

It took a while, but given some time the tears began to slow until there was none left at all. Eyes still a little wet, Janet rested against Jack, letting his hand run soothing patterns on her back. Her chest still heaved involuntarily from crying for so long, and the empty sobs rattled her lungs and filled the air. Eventually the sobs demined to silence as Janet breathed slowly with exhaustion. Jack watched as she let herself calm down and breathe normally once more. She shook her head in disbelief and fixed her hair that was now messy. Combing her fingers through it, Janet glanced at Jack; he still looked at her with confusion, not comprehending what exactly had happened. Her eyes watered and Jack noticed, he reached out and put a hand on her cheek, "don't" he said shakily, "don't cry again."

She realized slowly that Jack had never seen her in such a state before. "I won't," she mumbled.

"You really forgave her?" Jack said softly with a smile.

She nodded silently.

They sat there facing each other, their eyes examining each other carefully. Janet felt a familiar twinge in her stomach, the one that only Jack could stir in her. Slowly, ever so slowly, they both leaned forwards, until their foreheads leaned against each other. Jack ran his fingers through her hair like she had done to herself just moments before. Janet blinked, wanting this simple moment to last forever. She wasn't scared like she had been the other night; this time… she was ready, because there was nothing holding her back.

Jack's blue eyes were hesitant, but after a moment he breathed outwards, his breath hot against her face and moved forwards slowly. Janet tilted her head to the side, and welcomed the feel of his lips on hers as he closed any distance left between them. Janet melted against him instantly, it wasn't like last night; this kiss wasn't forced or greedy or fevered. It was soft and timid, Jack's hand moved from her hair to just bellow her ear and his other limb stretched around her loosely. Janet let one hand rest on his shoulder and the other she placed on his jaw line; their kisses were slow and tender. She didn't notice she had started to cry until she tasted salty tears mingled with Jack's lips. Her heart felt like it was going to burst open and despite everything Janet smiled.

When they separated Jack leaned back slightly to peer at her face. She felt a warm feeling in the pit of her stomach when after a moment he hugged her close. "I thought you said you weren't going to cry."

Janet felt her lips curl upwards. "It's not a sin you know."

_::_

_Lips that taste of tears, they say,  
Are the best for kissing._  
_**~Dorothy Parker…**_

_Heaven knows we need never be _

_ashamed of our tears, _

_for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, _

_overlying our hard hearts. _

_**~Charles Dickens, **__**Great Expectations**__**, 1860**_


	13. She Loves Me She Loves Me Not

**Hiya. Nice to see ya. Well... you know what I mean. Anyways, here's a chapter... you know what to do with it. **

**Oh. And the author would like to apologize for making this story ridiculously long. It's crazy. **

**~ C.A**

Chapter thirteen: She loves me; She loves me not

_The friendships which last _

_Are those wherein each friend respects the other's dignity _

_To the point of knowing that their dignity _

_Means everything to them, _

_But nothing to you. _

_**~Frank Barron **_

_::_

Terri peered at the photo in the magazine, it was a picture of a new kind of footwear that had just been released into stores. They were sneakers with long laces and high backs; they stopped an inch above the ankle. The shoes were covered in a black and white plaid design. Terri glanced again at the name printed at the top of the page in glossy purple ink. "_Meet the shoe that's so stylish, it's jumping into everyone's conversation. The Converse." _Terri pursed her lips as she looked at the page. "Hmm…" After a while she folded down the corner of the paper, marking her place; she figured that a shopping trip was in store for her someday soon. Besides, Terri levelled with herself… she needed a new pair of shoes.

Chucking the magazine on the couch cushion next to her, she stood to her feet and gazed around the room. It was very quiet, as it had been ever since Jack and Janet left for Indiana. She was so used to hearing the T.V blaring, or the clank of dishes in the kitchen as Jack cooked, or her two friends as they talked, laughed, argued and joked. She wanted to see Jack sneak up behind Janet and scare the living daylights out of her as he grabbed her swiftly and twirled her around. Terri missed their company, she missed talking to them and she missed watching them talk to each other, like when she would sometimes come home and find the two of them sharing a private conversation in the kitchen. Terri wished she could step through the door and catch them watching a movie together on the sofa, Janet's head resting on Jack's shoulder. It just couldn't be the notorious 'Apartment 201' without the two of them there with her, just as one musketeer alone isn't nearly as well known as when the Three are all together.

Terri stretched and yawned; she grabbed her purse from the phone stand and smiled. This would be the last day she'd have to be alone; Janet and Jack were coming back tomorrow. It was already late evening and so Terri figured there was only about seventeen hours left until her two roommates arrived home, she was counting them down in anticipation. "Wow," she sighed to herself, "I didn't think I'd miss them this much."

Deciding that she needed to get out of the apartment, Terri headed towards the door as she remembered that the Reagale Beagle was throwing it's annual singles night. Maybe tonight would be a perfect opportunity to meet Mr. Right, but Terri doubted it. She had been waiting so long for him to come along that she hardly believed that he existed anymore. She thought of Jack and Janet, and the way they constantly jumped around each other with their words and actions. Janet was lucky, not only had she found Mr. Right, but she'd also had the chance to live with him for seven years and be his closest friend.

Terri recalled Janet's frantic phone call she had made just the other day and her confession. Jack had told her he loved her, and Janet had kissed him. _Way to go Jack, _Terri thought with a grin. The two of them were acting like teenagers about all of this, why couldn't they just understand that not everything had to be so complicated? She hoped that by now the two of them had worked the whole thing out and realized that whatever they have is something to be cherished. If they threw it all away because they were too scared to take the plunge Terri was pretty sure she'd lung for the nearest base-ball bat and clang their heads with it. Maybe she could knock some sense into them.

She pushed Jack and Janet out of her head and reached for the doorknob, as she turned it the doorbell wrung throughout the house. Wondering who it could be, Terri swung open the door and gaped at the sight before her. Cindy was standing on the doorstep, her crooked smile shining on her face and a huge suitcase in her hand. But that wasn't all, behind Cindy and standing slightly of to the right was another girl with her own suitcase. Terri recognized the naïve grin, the straight blond hair that had been shoved into two piggy-tails, one slightly higher than the other, and the big blue eyes surrounded by long black lashes from the photograph Janet had in their room. And even though she had never met this person before she knew exactly who she was, standing before her was the one and only Christmas Snow.

"Hi Terri!" Cindy exclaimed, dropping her suitcase and ignoring as it accidentally busted open all over the ground, clothes flying every which way. Enveloping her in a tight hug, Cindy clapped Terri on the back a little too hard. "How are you?"

"Fine," Terri mustered as she detached herself from Cindy's embrace, "I'm great, Cindy, but what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at university?"

Cindy shook her head, eyes bright. "Nope, our spring semester just ended on Wednesday, I don't have to be back to U.C.L.A. until September 2nd." She bent down and started recollecting the items that had fallen out of her suitcase, still talking all the while. "I'm eventually headed back to Fresno; I can't wait to see my family again! But I wanted to see you, Janet and Jack even more! I figured you wouldn't mind if I bunked here for a couple of days."

"Of course not Cindy, but-" Terri was interrupted by a gasp from Cindy.

"Oh! I haven't even introduced you two yet, I forgot! Terri, this is Chrissie, and Chrissie, this is Terri." She informed, while glancing back and forth from one to the other, trying to look at both at the same time.

Terri smiled and held out her hand to the girl, "Nice to meet you. Terri Alden," She said and pointed to herself.

Chrissie's eyes clouded with confusion, "No, I'm not Terri… you are."

Terri had always thought Jack and Janet were exaggerating when they talked about Chrissie having an extremely blond nature… but now, she actually believed them. "No, no. '_I'm_ Terri Alden' was what I should have said." She smiled, trying to clear the air. "Nice to meet you, _I'm _Terri Alden," she said, trying it again.

"Oh," Chrissie grinned back, "well if you're Terri, then I must be Chrissie. I already knew that I was Chrissie before she introduced us." She snorted. "It would be pretty dumb if I didn't even know my own name. What's the sense to name a person if the person with the name can't even remember their name, they would grow up and not be nameless, because they'd have a name they just wouldn't know what that name was, so to themselves they'd be nameless, but to everyone else they'd have a name it's just that the person with the name couldn't remember what the name was."

Terri stared absently for a moment, knowing that the final calculation of that explanation probably did make sense, but for the life of her she just couldn't find out how. "Why don't you two come inside," she said after a while.

She held the door open for them as they entered and then closed it and set her purse down; there was no sense to go to the Beagle now.

"I called Chrissie last week, before school ended and told her that I was going to spend a few nights here and that she should pass the message on to my parents so they wouldn't get worried," Cindy explained, "She liked the idea so much that she decided to meet me in Santa Monica and visit too. We wanted to surprise you guys."

Chrissie smiled, "It's been so long since I've been here. I can't wait to see Janet!" Her smile fell slightly, "I think she's still a little upset that I never came back all that time ago."

"Where are Jack and Janet anyway?" Cindy asked, peeking into the kitchen and seeing no one, she noticed the silence that enveloped the apartment, "Did they go out for a bit?"

Terri leaned against the back side of the sofa, "Actually, that's what I was trying to tell you. They're not home, in fact, they're not even in Santa Monica. Janet went to visit her family in Indiana and Jack tagged along. They've been gone for awhile, but they should be back by dinnertime tomorrow."

"Oh," a frown formed on Chrissie's face, "I guess we don't really have good timing, do we?"

"Well you're both still welcome to stay. You two will really surprise them if they come home tomorrow and you're both here," Terri said, realizing that deep down she very much wanted them to stay. She was lonely, in need of company and somebody to talk to.

Cindy contemplated for a moment and then nodded slowly, "That would be fun." She glanced over at her cousin, "What do you say Chrissie? We're already here, so we might as well."

"Sure," she smiled, "I don't see why not. You can stay in Jack's bed tonight, and I'll sleep in Janet's."

Terri grinned, "Good, now that that's settled do you two want some coffee?"

"Yes please," Cindy said as she licked her lips. Chrissie simply nodded in agreement.

"Alright, I'll go get it started." Terri made her way to the kitchen as Chrissie and Cindy took their luggage to the rooms they would be staying in that night. Chrissie was the first to finish with her luggage, just as Terri began brewing the coffee she waltzed in and took a seat at the table. Terri glanced over her shoulder at her, "I've heard a lot about you Chrissie, from Jack and Janet."

"Like what?" she asked, propping her elbows on the table and resting her chin in her hands just like a child would do.

Terri shrugged, "Oh, I don't know, a whole bunch of things. Once Jack told me about the time you ate his prize pie, and you and Janet tried to find a look-a-like substitute so he wouldn't find out." Terri smiled at the thought of what it must've been like as Janet and Chrissie tried to fool Jack and hide the evidence. She felt a small twinge of jealousy from all the years Jack, Janet and Chrissie lived here in Apartment 201, what memories they must have, and what stories they could probably tell. Terri wished she could've been there also, but she didn't come into the story until much later, six years later. She had only lived with Jack and Janet for a year so far.

She looked over at Chrissie and found that she was staring off into space with a smile on her face, seeing and remembering things Terri couldn't. After a moment she returned her gaze to the present and to Terri. "That pie was the best I've ever tasted," Chrissie told her with a smile, "Jack has always been such a good cook."

"I can vouch on that one," agreed Terri. "You know, you're pretty lucky, you got to spend an entire four years here."

"The real lucky one is Janet," Chrissie corrected, "she's been here the whole seven years, plus the one when me and Eleanor lived here."

Terri had never really contemplated just how long Janet had lived here, until now. She had been present for every misunderstanding, every memory, every conversation. "She's been here awhile, hasn't she?"

Chrissie nodded.

"I guess she's the glue holding us all together," Terri said as her lips curved into a smile.

Chrissie grinned, "yup, good old Janet."

"You know, she's also been the only roommate who's been here the whole time Jack has been living here too," Terri tried to sound conventional, but she was attempting to get them on the topic of the two roommates. She wanted to know if Chrissie had ever sensed the close bond that Jack and Janet shared like she had.

"Yeah," Chrissie added, "even though they argue like two little kids."

The drone of the coffee maker in the background stopped abruptly, letting Terri know that it was done. She shrugged as she stood to her feet and located three mugs from one of the cabinets; she began to pour a drink for each of them. "They just quarrel so much because it's out of habit, they don't really mean it."

She set a mug down in front of Chrissie. "I think you're right," Chrissie responded thoughtfully, "They fight because they don't know what else to do with themselves. If they didn't argue all the time they'd probably give into their feelings."

"Their feelings?" Terri's hope rose.

"Oh come on," Chrissie smirked as she gave her coffee a sip, "I might not be the smartest person around, but I'm not naïve enough not to see the way they act around each other." Terri felt her spirits soar, so she wasn't the only one who had noticed the way their two roommates interacted, Chrissie had felt it too. And no offence to Chrissie, but if she had picked up on it then it had to be quite obvious, after all Chrissie wasn't very observant from what Terri had heard.

At that moment Cindy pushed her way through the swinging door and smiled at the two of them. "Your mug is on the sideboard," Terri told her.

She grabbed it and sat down at the table with the rest of them. "So what are we talking about?" She asked; dipping her finger into her mug and pulling it back sharply as she realized just how hot the coffee was.

"Jack and Janet," Chrissie stated simply.

"What about Jack and Janet?"

Terri winked, "You know."

"I do?"

Chrissie rolled her eyes, "Think Cindy…" She started to sing, "_Jack and Janet sitting in a tree, K-I-S-_"

"Oh."

"Yeah," Terri laughed, "'Oh', is right."

"But you don't really think they _like _each other? Do you?" Cindy asked.

Terri smiled at the way Cindy went wide eyed as she asked that question. "Yes we do," she told her.

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"Well…" Cindy trailed off. She gazed at each of them in turn, then glanced back down at her coffee cup, "They're just so opposite."

"Well maybe they're like two of those 'U' shaped thingies," Chrissie tried.

Terri frowned, "Magnets?"

Chrissie nodded, "yeah, magnets. The opposites in the magnets attract… don't they?"

"Yes, but we can't compare Jack and Janet to magnets," Cindy told them. "They're both living, breathing people with feelings. People are a lot more complicated than magnets, and besides, before all else they were friends first. They've been friends for seven years; do you think they'll really risk what they already have?"

Terri sighed dreamily, "I hope so…"

"Me too…" Chrissie grinned.

Cindy shook her head. "You two are crazy," but she smiled anyway. All three girls knew Jack and Janet on a personal level, after all they had all taken their turn living here at one time. And at some point each had sensed the depth in their two roommates' relationship. It wasn't always just chummy-chummy or buddy-buddy, it went deeper than that. So deep in fact that Chrissie, Cindy or Terri couldn't see if it was based on just friendship… or something more.

Terri drained her cup of coffee and set it back on the table. "Janet called me from Indiana the other day," she said slowly, not really sure she should bring up that phone call that had obviously been very personal to Janet.

"Oh yeah?" Cindy took a swig of her drink, after giving it time to cool down, "Are they having a good time?"

Terri shrugged, "that remains unknown, I guess it depends on whether they've worked everything out yet."

"Worked everything out?" Chrissie enquired, "have they had another one of their disagreements again?" she asked, rolling her eyes.

She didn't want to share too much for Janet's and Jack's sakes so she just nodded. "Yeah..."

Cindy sighed and gave a small smile, "So... what was it about this time?"

Terri was silent for a moment. Should she tell them? Could she say that the reason Janet had telephoned her the other night was because she was so upset and confused -but most of all terrified- and that she wanted to come home early? And what if she did tell Cindy and Chrissie about their two friends? Certainly they would agree with Terri that those two belonged together... but what if Jack and Janet came back tomorrow and had nothing figured out? That would be awkward. Besides, Janet had trusted her with that information, it wasn't something she should just throw around like it meant nothing. Because it did mean something, something so very important that should be kept secret until the time is right.

Torn between her want to share Janet's tale and her want to respect Jack and Janet's relationship -however unstable at the moment it may be- Terri shrugged finally. "Oh... this and that... you know how those two can be. Janet could have a fit just because Jack's shirt was wrinkled."

Cindy and Chrissie laughed and turned their attention back to their coffee cups. Terri heaved a long breath and let it out slowly, she knew that what Jack and Janet had was special. And even though she wanted to let Chrissie and Cindy in on their situation she knew it wasn't right for her to do that. It wasn't Terri's responsibility to share anything, the only people who had that privilege was Jack and Janet. Besides, she didn't know if Janet had talked to Jack yet… so maybe they didn't even have this whole thing worked out. Terri shook her head; Janet was right, she and Jack had gotten themselves into quite a fix.

But Terri quickly recalled all the problems in the past that Jack and Janet had gotten into, and no matter how in over their heads they became they always managed to find a way out. This gave Terri the hope she needed to have faith in her two friends. They would work it out, she was sure of it. And maybe, just maybe, if the wind was on their side… they already had.

_::_

Jack held Janet close, afraid to let her go; afraid that if he did the tears would start again, flooding her eyes and rolling down her cheeks. Seeing her cry had to be one of the most shocking incidents he'd ever shared with her. He hated that there was nothing he could say to make the sobs go away, all he could do was sit there and try desperately to comfort her in some small way. It was long over now though, and Janet was as quiet as a mouse beside him. She didn't move, didn't speak, and occasionally he'd peer at her just to make sure she was still breathing. Her head was against his shoulder and her brown eyes were glazed, letting him know that she was deep in thought as she looked out across the lake to nothing in particular.

Unknowingly, Jack licked his lips. The floodgate in his mind broke and a swirl of emotions flowed into his head as he realized he could still taste Janet on them. Jack hadn't meant to kiss her, it just sort of happened. It had seemed right, unlike the other night. The other night when they were out looking at the stars had been wrong, he shouldn't have kissed her; it had been forced and selfish for the both of them. But the kiss they had just shared… it was right. He knew this because he did it not because he wanted to, but because he needed to, and she had kissed him back not because she was forced to, but because she wanted to. And because of that something had shifted between them, like the missing puzzle piece had finally been found and all that needed to be done now was to figure out some way to click it into place. But sometimes the 'clicking into place' wasn't always as simple as it seemed.

Janet looked over at him as she snapped out of her daze. Her big eyes gazed at him imploringly and Jack knew by her expression that she was done sitting here. He felt a sense of relief at the fact that he could read her again, and that she wasn't hiding her thoughts locked up in her head anymore. Just like before this whole mess had even started, he could pretty much tell what was crossing her mind and it gave his heart a pleasant tug of familiarity. "Do you want to take a walk?" Jack asked, knowing that was exactly what she wanted.

"That would be nice," she said with a tentative smile.

He hauled Janet to her feet and held tight to her hand. She started to pull him gently towards the direction of the remainder of the stretch of beach that went on for several miles. Realizing his shoes weren't going to be needed Jack stopped to bend down and unlace them. After he had shrugged off his sneakers he stood up and grinned at Janet, giving her one of his lopsided smiles. He took her hand again and they began to walk down the beach front. A sigh came from her mouth and he glanced over at her questionably, "What's wrong?"

"It's just… I can't believe that when we go back to the house I can tell mom that… well that I forgive her. I didn't think that I'd ever be able to forgive her, Jack."

He squeezed her hand, "I did."

Janet looked over at him, examining his face carefully as she frowned with confusion, "how?"

"Because… you're Janet Wood," Jack told her simply.

"What does that have anything to do with it?"

"Well…" Jack responded seriously, "you see, Janet Wood is a girl who's strong willed; she's stubborn, but always manages to keep a level head. Her heart is made up of selflessness, and concern. Sometimes I think she cares more about others than she does for herself." Jack watched her as he spoke. She smirked at his words but somehow Jack could tell she was also taking it to heart. He continued… "Janet is a person who likes to get things done, but when she does stuff she does it right, or not at all. And because of all this," Jack concluded, "I know that she's capable of forgiving, because of the simple fact that she never gives up."

Janet leaned against his arm and sighed as they strolled close to the water's edge, "Awe Jack, that's sweet."

"Of course," Jack added teasingly, "Jack Tripper was the one who taught her all these traits during the time they lived together. Janet would be nothing without him."

"And that's pathetic," she laughed, swatting him with her free hand.

"No I'm serious! Jack Tripper is one heck of a guy!" he said, still keeping up the act, "He's smart, funny, not to mention handsome… with an interesting jaw line and a firm but sensitive chin…"

Janet raised an eyebrow, "Well then… maybe I should look him up sometime."

"He'd like that," Jack agreed with a grin.

Suddenly, Janet's smile fell off her face and Jack peered at her with concern, wondering if it was something he had said. "Well if Jack Tripper is 'so great' why is he here with a plain old brunette like me, someone who couldn't even manage to forgive her own mother for eight years." Janet said softly, her pace slowing to an almost complete halt, "He shouldn't want anything to do with me."

Jack stopped in his tracks, his goofy grin gone. He felt himself suddenly turn very serious; grabbing her shoulders, he swirled Janet so that they stood face to face. Jack looked her over as he reminded himself yet again, for the hundredth time, what a beautiful person Janet was, inside and out. Janet's gaze was on the ground, and he curled a finger under her chin, forcing her to look at him. Jack pressed his lips to her forehead. Leaning back, he searched her eyes deeply, wanting her to understand.

"Actually," he began, "Jack Tripper isn't always perfect… He's not always funny, and some might say he's not even the best looking," Janet smiled lightly, "He messes up a lot… especially with the ones he cares about. But Jack told me to tell you this…" he paused for a moment to brush Janet's bangs out of her eyes with his fingertips, "That Janet Wood is the most amazing person he's ever met. He thinks she's the prettiest girl he's ever laid eyes on; and he wishes that someday he could be half as clever as her. Janet is his greatest friend…" Jack was planning on stopping there with telling Janet what a great friend she was, but something tugged on his heartstrings. And for some reason he kept talking… the words flowing out of his mouth, "and somewhere along the way he began to mix friendship with something deeper, so that now he can't help but love her…" Jack sighed, " But he already told her this once before and she didn't say anything at all…" Eyes piercing hers, Jack swallowed hard, "so why should this time be any different?"

Jack glanced down, letting the third person point of view slip away. He stared back into her eyes again, feeling a stab of hurt. Would he always have to carry around this love for Janet? Would it always never be returned? Jack shook his head as Janet watched him, her eyes were soft and tender but she remained silent. He loved her so much. "Janet," Jack said tightly, "I love you. I know you must feel something… that kiss, it wasn't just anything. It meant something; it showed me something I was missing: you. Why can't…" Jack choked on his words; he felt like a child, "why can't you love me back?"

"Jack…" Janet breathed softly; her tone was suddenly full of pain, but it was a pain he couldn't see. "…I do love you, really I do." At the sound of those words Jack felt his heart skip a beat, he reached out towards her and tried to take a step closer, but Janet stopped him. She placed one of her small hands firmly on his chest, keeping him at bay. "But we can't do this," she whispered quietly.

Confused, Jack frowned at her. His eyes searched hers briefly, wanting to understand; she started to let her hand slip away from his chest, but Jack grabbed it and kept it in place. He uncurled her fingers directly overtop of his heart, hoping she could feel it beating. "What are you saying?" he asked her softly.

"I'm saying that we can't do this Jack," Janet told him again, but this time there was a slight quiver in her voice. "I-I was wrong. I shouldn't have kissed you, I was out of line. This isn't part of the plan."

"The plan?" Jack felt a miniature surge of anger, what was she talking about? "What plan Janet!"

She winced at his words but still stood her ground, "The plan that we both have Jack." Her voice rose slightly and she pulled her hand away from him, "Don't you dare deny it."

"Deny what? I don't even know what you're talking about!"

"Everyone has a plan for their life Jack," she explained slowly, "To grow up, to get a career, to work hard, to find that special someone and to grow old with them. Everybody tries to map out their future, even you. Don't you remember? You're a chef, you want to someday open a chain of restaurants all through France." Janet took a shaky breath, "And I have a plan too, don't forget about me Jack, I have dreams too you know. And I also know for a fact that both our plans never involved falling for our best friend. This is just some fantasy Jack, a fantasy of what we can't have. And tomorrow we'll be returning to reality when we board that plane and head back to Santa Monica, the real world, a place where we are supposed to be friends… and that's all. "

Jack couldn't believe what she was saying. She talked about the future as if everything was set in stone. Was this the same girl he had kissed just minutes ago? "Janet… plans can change. People have dreams so that they can make their lives be as worthwhile as possible, but sometimes we find something better than we could ever dream of."

But Janet shook her head, her mind was already made up and it hurt more than anything to see that there was nothing he could do to change it. "No Jack," she said simply, "We agreed. We all agreed when you first met Chrissie and I that nothing would or _ever_ could happen between any of us."

"Are you still set on that rule?" he asked, disbelieving, "That stupid house rule that you invented seven years ago."

"It doesn't matter how stupid it is Jack, you still promised that you wouldn't break it," Janet told him shakily.

Jack felt a wall of emotion building inside of him; he couldn't understand why Janet was acting like this. He knew she could see the confusion inside of him and for a moment her eyes softened. For one small moment she hesitated and in that piece of time Jack realized just how terrified she was as he received a clear glimpse of the fear that shone through her gaze. "Janet, why are you afraid of me?"

It seemed like Janet was going to object his gentle accusation as her stare hardened, but at the last second her walls fell away from her heart. She bit her lip as her eyes searched his. "Jack, I trust you, we both know that. But I can only trust you while you're my friend. And even though I love you Jack, I could never trust you as anything more than a friend." He frowned, not knowing where she was headed with all this. Head spinning, Jack watched as Janet closed her eyes briefly and sighed, "I've watched for seven years as the girls have walked in and walked out, I've sat by as you fell in love with one girl, after another, after another. You're a good friend, the best actually, but that's where it ends Jack. How could I let anything happen between us when I've seen what's happened to all the other girls who've ever let you into their lives. You go through women like some…. maniac… You said you love me, but give it a month or two and then we'll see how you feel. You will get rid of me like a piece of trash as soon as you set your eyes on someone prettier, or kinder… or more dumb so that you'll have no problem getting them to fall for your stupid act. I will not become a part of your little gem collection of all the girls you've got under your belt Jack. After all I've seen how could you ever expect me to give into any feelings I have for you?"

Each word hit him, delivering a blow that rattled him completely, and the worst part was that he couldn't deny what she said. Jack had let the girls flow in and out for years, and he knew Janet had been around to see all that. She had labelled him long ago as a player, and a totally unhonest pinhead, and even though labels were for jars she was right. He had been a pathetic person, one who could have hardly been considered a man. But the key words here were '_had been'_. He _had been _a player in the past, but that had all changed now. Jack placed his hands on her arms, "I know you feel like you can't trust me, but I'm not that person anymore Janet, I've changed. Remember when I couldn't feel anything for any one of my dates? You said it was because I needed a break, but I've taken a break and I still can't feel anything for anyone… except for you. I don't want anyone else Janet, I just want you; not for a day, not for awhile, not for a year… but as long as I live. I've changed."

Jack brought her closer and hugged her with his arms, wrapping them around her securely. Although she didn't resist, he could feel Janet tense against him, and she refused to return the hug in any way. "Trust me Janet," he pleaded quietly, "I would never hurt you."

Her silence put a tiny hope inside of him. As she hesitated Jack ran a hand down her hair, wishing he would never have to let her go. "That's exactly what Terri said. She said you would never hurt me," Janet finally told him as she made a small sound that Jack couldn't identify between a chuckle or a sob.

"And she's right," he assured her, "I won't."

Janet gave into his embrace, relaxing against him as her hand gripped the sleeve of his t-shirt gently. They stood like that for a long time, neither one saying a thing… because they didn't have a clue at what needed to be said. Jack knew he had to somehow get it through Janet's head that he was trustworthy. But he didn't know how to do that. Jack had thought the other night that it would be so simple as they laid out in the grass, looking at the stars. He had sincerely believed that all he needed to do was tell Janet he was in love with her and then after that everything would fall into place. But nothing was that simple and Jack had run out of things to say to convince her that she didn't need to be afraid of him.

All he knew was that this felt right, and he held onto her tightly. Scared that if he let go then Janet would walk away, and that they would return to Santa Monica tomorrow and be forced to pretend like all of this never happened. And that was just something he wasn't capable of doing, Jack couldn't forget everything, especially these last couple days… and he knew that neither could Janet. "Please Jan," he whispered into her hair, "don't leave us regretting what could have been."

Her answer came softly from where her head was resting against his chest. "No," she told him, "No, we can't Jack…"

Jack felt like he was that stupid little chicken and that the sky was falling down on top of him. His hopes crashed to the ground at Janet's four simple words. _'No we can't Jack…' _"Yes we can," he fought desperately, unwilling to give in.

She leaned back to look at him, and her face was set into a blank stare, not giving away a single emotion. "No we can't. I will not fight with you anymore, I don't want to talk about it, because we both know how it would end… you'll find someone new and I'll be left picking up the pieces of my broken heart."

"Janet…"

"I said no!" she yelled, but her eyes were instantly no longer dry, they were wet with unshed tears. "No Jack," she whispered. And as she did Janet pulled out of his arms.

Jack knew he was begging now, but he couldn't just stand there and watch the best thing in his life walk away. "Just listen to me Janet, trust me…"

Janet took a trembling breath, but continued to deepen the space between them as she took a couple more steps backwards. "You're breaking my heart," she said softly, and her sudden vulnerability caught him off guard, "please Jack… just leave me alone, this has gone too far, don't hurt me anymore…"

Jack clamped his mouth shut at her sheer honesty and remained silent, not wanting to harm her any longer. His heart was torn between the urge to respect her wishes and the urge to run after her, and so he simply stood still as his indecisiveness kept him frozen in place. Jack stared helplessly as Janet walked away from him. His eyes remained locked on the one person who he had thought he could always count on, but who was now turning her back on him. When she had passed out of his eye vision he stayed still and motionless, like a rock. The only way anyone could have discerned Jack Tripper from a dreary statue at that moment was by the tears that welled up in his azure eyes… and coursed down the sides of his face.

_::_

_Frustrated because I can tell that it's real. _

_Mad because I don't know how you feel. _

_Upset because we can't make it right. _

_Sad because I need you day and night. _

_Angry because you won't take my hand. _

_Aggravated because you don't understand. _

_Disappointed because we can't be together, __**but still I'll love you forever. **_

**Scared for our heroes? You better be. lol**

**See that lovely button at the bottom of the screen? I believe it says "Review this chapter". Isn't it beautiful? *cough* Push it! *cough, cough*. :)**


	14. Jack Moves Out

**I cried when I wrote this... does that make me a weirdo? I aimed for heartwrenching with this one guys, so grab the tissues. But who knows, with my writing it'll probably just come off as goofy. Either way, this was definitely another fav. of mine. Poor Jack and Janet, I just love breaking their hearts! **

**Enjoy! **

**~C.A**

Chapter fourteen: Jack Moves Out

_Love is not about "__It's your fault__", but "__I'm sorry__". Not "__Where are you?__", but "__I'm right here__". Not "__How could you?__", but "__I understand__". Not "__I wish you were__"… but "__I'm thankful you are__"._

_I love you, yet I hate you. It's like I want to throw you off a cliff, and then run really fast down to the bottom and catch you._

_::_

Janet stumbled up the steps and grabbed the doorknob, but before she could give it a yank she lost her control and broke down in tears on the top stair. She didn't feel whole, she felt like she had left a piece of herself behind with Jack where she had abandoned him on the beach. The sight of him standing there as she reseeded into the distance made her ache at what she had done. Why had she told him that they could never be together? Just earlier that day Janet had convinced herself as she prepared to leave Dorothy's house that she loved him. She had told herself that the risks didn't matter, that they were nothing compared to what it felt like when Jack held her tight in his arms. Secure and warm, and so close that she could feel his heart beating. Janet had almost even succeeded in telling him this earlier, but that had been when her mother had interrupted them…

So why had she just rejected him now when she thought that she had decided to tell him the truth? Janet blamed it on fear, and her darn will of not wanting to trust anything or anyone. She sunk to her knees slowly. Why was this so hard? Jack was the one person she knew she could ever be happy around, and the only reason she knew this was because she had lived with him for seven years. Seven long years. They had fought a lot during all that time, but they had also laughed, and forgave, and became an impenetrable force… or so she had thought, before it had all been destroyed. How could their friendship and everything else they'd ever shared unravel itself in a matter of days? It was unfair.

Janet felt a pang of deep, unsettling hurt as she reminded herself that the only reason everything had fallen into ruins was because she had let it do so. Jack had told her back there that he loved her, had practically stated that he didn't want to let their friendship fail on account of some deeper feelings they had both felt lately. Instead, he wanted to go from being friends to being something more, Jack wanted to love her even though there was a chance at losing their friendship. But Janet was the one who had destroyed all of what could have been. Because she said no. She told him she could never succeed in loving him. And for the life of her she couldn't figure out the reasons behind why she lied like that.

Perhaps if things had been a little different. Maybe if Jack had never given her reason not to trust him. If he had never dated Cherril, or Rita, or Gretchen, or Naomi, or Karen, or Joan, or Linda, or Samantha, or Doreen… she sighed, and the list went on and on. If he had been patient, and had been waiting for the right girl to stroll along, showing his devotion, then Janet wouldn't be crying on the front steps at the moment, she'd be in his arms. Janet couldn't help but think that had they lived slightly differently, then they could've had a chance together. Because the truth was that Jack and herself could've made an amazing couple… if only he had been responsible.

If only.

Janet knew that she could run back to him, and explain that she was wrong. She could tell Jack that she wanted to quit the stupid act and stop jumping around each other; she could say she was ready for the final leap. But something stopped her; her legs wouldn't allow her to push herself up off the steps, and a small voice in the back of her mind kept whispering that it was too late. Sobbing desperately, Janet hung her head as she realized that she had just let Jack Tripper, the only person she had ever met who loved her despite all her faults, slip through her fingers.

The wooden front door creaked open, but Janet was barely aware of the fact, that is, until a voice sounded in her ears.

"Janet?"

Janet glanced up at her name being called and through her blurred vision she looked over at Ruth who held the door agar with one hand limply and wore a shocked expression on her face. The rage and the hurt of the past had dissipated and no longer existed, so Janet felt no anger towards her mother. Instead, she felt an overwhelming sense of familiarity as memories of when she was a child emerged into her overfilled brain, and Ruth had been her supporting image, the one she had leaned on. "Janet, honey… are you okay?" she asked as she grabbed Janet and helped her to her feet, "Where's Jack?"

That was the wrong thing to say.

Janet made an involuntary half cough, half sob at the mention of Jack's name. 'Where was Jack?' Well, she bet he was back where she had left him… standing alone in the sand. But she didn't have the effort or the breath to explain the entire situation at the moment, and settled for choking out just a few random words. "…I told him… that it wouldn't work… He…I... It… I l-let him down… Oh mom… w-why does it hurt… so much?"

And even as broken as that explanation was Ruth somehow managed to get the just of what Janet was trying to say. Her eyes glazed over with sympathy as she processed her daughter's words, and before either one of them realized what was happening Janet found herself being held tightly in her mother's arms. "Oh Sweetheart…" Ruth mumbled sadly, and Janet could tell that her compassion was genuine. She leaned into Ruth as her composure, which had been half salvaged after Jack had finally gotten her to stop crying at the beach, became utterly lost yet again. It blew her mind how the act of crying was simply something no one could control; she couldn't detain the tears no more than she could force them to come. They came and went on their own freewill, there was no halting their progress and there was no quickening it. They just happened.

Janet let Ruth comfort her for what seemed like forever, but she realized afterwards that in truth it was probably only a few short minutes. Her mother rocked back and forth on her feet, swaying them both in a solacing rhythm. Giving it a shot at attempting to get back in control of her emotions, Janet inhaled deeply and as she did her nose was met with the soft smell of Ruth's perfume. It was the exact same scent as it had been fifteen years ago when she had been just a kid, it was called _Think Of Me_, or something like that. It reminded her of all the times Ruth had comforted her in the past, most of those times she had been so upset over something silly or trivial, but it had never made a bit of difference, Ruth still never failed to sympathize no matter how big or small her problems had been. And now here she stood once again before Ruth, but this time it wasn't some simple tiff that had her upset, it was, what she considered, one of the biggest problems she'd ever faced. Although, as Janet fought against the tears she knew that her mother was with her and that she wasn't going to face this problem alone, and that gave her at least some contentment.

It still broke her heart though when she reminded herself that this 'big problem' was none other than Jack Tripper. Jack, her best friend, the one who wasn't supposed to cause the problems, but was supposed to help her fix them. He was the clumsy, good-natured guy who used to brighten her days with that goofy, lopsided smile. He made her laugh, he made her smile; Jack had stood by her no matter what the cost. "Mom…" Janet flubbed suddenly from where her head was resting on Ruth's shoulder, "I left him out there all alone… I just… left him."

Ruth patted her hair gently, "Janet, it's going to be okay… he's going to be okay, and you're going to be okay. You'll work everything out."

"We already tried to work it out," Janet sniveled, at that moment feeling like some maniac depressed person. _With good reason, _she told herself silently, _you just lost everything that was ever really worth anything to you._ "Or at least Jack tried to work it out, I wasn't really much help. But mom, what was I supposed to say?"

"I think the signature line that he was expecting to hear from you Janet was 'as long as we love each other we can make it through anything'," Ruth said with a sad smile.

Janet pulled away from her mother and closed her eyes as she shook her head. "Well then… I guess I blew it."

"What I can't understand is why you didn't tell him the truth."

"I did tell him the truth," she responded softly, "I told him I love him… but then I told him that love wasn't enough."

"Oh Janet," Ruth sighed, her breath coming out slowly, "You have so much to learn. Trust the opinion of an on-looker: you two are better when you're together. And you're right, sometimes love isn't enough, but in this case it is. In this case it's more than enough."

Janet felt her throat clog up with emotion. Why couldn't anyone understand why she was doing what she was doing, why couldn't they see the reasons behind her decisions with Jack? Life wasn't perfect, Jack had said so himself just the other day, and in an imperfect world good things don't last. A relationship with Jack would be amazing… but it wouldn't last forever, like all good things it would end. Probably by Jack finding someone he thought was more beautiful, or maybe there would be a horrible argument. And Janet didn't want that. She loved Jack so very much, but she didn't want a whirlwind romance that would be wonderful while it lasted and then have it suddenly torn away from her like she knew it would be. She didn't want anything 'short and sweet', if Janet ever had Jack then she'd want him forever, and nothing less. The fear of losing him was too strong.

Seeing that Janet wasn't going to respond to her words she had spoken moments before, Ruth opened the door again. "Let's go inside, and warm you up, then when you're ready we can talk some more."

"What about Jack?"

"He'll come back when he's ready," she assured her. "He probably needs time to think. Come in Honey, we'll get you clean."

It was only then that Janet realized what a mess she must look like. How disheveled was her hair? What about her makeup, did it run when she had started crying back at the beach? She lifted a hand up and placed it on her cheek as she wondered… And then she remembered her mother's cheek. Where she had slapped her. Janet glanced at it, angry with herself that she had done such a thing. She noticed that it was still a little blotchy; Ruth caught her gazing at it and lifted her shoulders gently, as if to say 'it's not your fault'. Janet wanted to curse herself, because it was her fault and she shouldn't have done it, it was a terrible thing to do to anyone, let alone her own mother.

Ruth motioned to the open door expectantly, obviously not dwelling at all on the injury she had received earlier from her. Janet took a few small steps towards the door and as she walked by her mother, she wrapped an arm around her lean waist, hauling Ruth with her. Ruth glanced down at Janet surprised; after the last eight years this was the first time she had ever reached out for her since that awful fight had taken place all that time ago. Janet smiled whole-heartedly and as they stepped through the door she whispered softly, "mom, I forgave you today… and I'm sorry for everything." She didn't know if Ruth had heard it or not, since there was no change in her expression, but Janet didn't care…

For she'd gladly say it a thousand more times if she had to.

_::_

Darkness was falling by the time Janet breathed a teeny sigh of relief as she watched while Jack finally strolled up the driveway. She had been starting to doubt that he would ever return at all. Judging on what she could see from where she was standing next to her bedroom window, three stories up from the ground, Jack was wearing a bleak and painful expression. Gone was the usual happy-go-lucky grin, and the sparkle in his eyes had disappeared also. Janet felt her spirits dampen- not that her mood had been very bright in the first place- as she told herself that she had done this to Jack. She had hurt him, and was the reason he now held a desperately lost look on his handsome face.

Janet gazed out the window pane until she made sure that Jack had stumbled up the front steps, fumbled with the doorknob, and made it safely inside. Then she drew the curtains across the glass and turned away to look into the mirror on her wicker vanity. She tried to smile to make the reflection staring back at her seem a little more lively, but the fake smile fell off her face and she failed miserably. _Well, _Janet reasoned with herself, _I'm not happy so why try to be? _Janet studied her image carefully, trying to figure out who that woman in the mirror was, and why that stranger had just broken her best friend's heart.

After a while she pinched the bridge of her nose and gave up as she abandoned the mirror just like she had abandoned Jack back at the beach. Janet wandered over to her bed and sat on the edge of the floral printed duvet. She ran her fingers thoughtfully along the patterns of the flower pedals that had been stitched into the blanket, recalling the conversation she had shared with Ruth simply a few hours ago. Her mother had escorted her to the washroom after they had entered the house, and Janet had spent nearly forty-five long minutes in there cleaning herself up. She usually never took that long to take a shower, because she was so used to having to be quick and tidy so her two other roommates could have their turn. But today Janet had taken her time and had let some of the stress wash away down the drain with the water from the shower nozzle. She had only emerged from the bathroom when Janet was satisfied and when her wet hair smelled heavily of the thick strawberry shampoo.

When her body had been taken care of Janet had seeked out her mother so that they could make some progress on the state of her soul. That's when they really breached the topic of Jack. They had talked away for an hour and a half. Janet discussed the last eight years and filled Ruth in on everything she had missed out on, including the last two weeks when she had first realized her feelings for Jack had begun to shift. Ruth had sat and listened for most of the time and every once in a while had interrupted to put in a word or two. She'd offered good advice and Janet was extremely thankful her and her mother could talk so easily with each other again, but even after their discussion ended Janet still didn't have anything more figured out with Jack than she did before. And so, Janet had retired to her room even more confused than ever.

She now played with a piece of thread that had come loose on the sleeve of her sweater that was lying next to her on the bed. Janet wondered how she and Jack could ever go home tomorrow and play along like everything was fine and dandy. Because she knew that's what they'd end up having to pretend for Terri's sake. They couldn't just drag her into their problems. She didn't ask for any involvement whatsoever so they'd just have to fake it, so that Terri wouldn't have to be caught in a crossfire between the two of them. But how on earth was Janet supposed to act like this week never happened? Every time Jack would look at her she knew her pulse would quicken, every time he'd smile her knees would wobble, if he hugged her then she'd remember being out under the stars that night, caught in his infatuated embrace. She and Jack were both going to end up living a lie in front of Terri.

Janet groaned out loud. Life shouldn't be like this; roommates shouldn't fall in love, best friends shouldn't kiss under the stars, but most importantly Jack Trippers shouldn't fall for Janet Woods... and vise versa. Janet was so lost, she couldn't make sense out of anything anymore. "Time for bed," she mumbled to herself and fell back on the bed, her body making a soft 'thud' as it landed against the sheets. _Maybe tomorrow will manage to be a brighter day, _she thought inwardly, _but I don't see how... _

Just as she was drifting off to sleep, Janet heard the soft padding of footsteps against the stairs. Her eyes snapped open as she realized that it was probably Jack coming up to his room, since his was the only other bedroom on this floor. She listened carefully as the footsteps crept closer; Jack's room was past hers, down the hall a little ways, so he would have to walk by. But the gentle thumping didn't proceed down the hall as she expected it to, instead it halted just in front of her closed door. Janet peered over and noticed the shadow of two feet blocking out the light from the lamp out in the hallway from shining through the crack under her door. She felt her stomach twist as she watched the brass doorknob begin to turn. Her eyes fluttered closed, and she remained motionless, pretending to be asleep because she couldn't face Jack right now. Janet listened as she heard his footsteps approach her bed and stop when he stood directly in front of her.

"Janet?" he whispered, his voice confirming that it was indeed Jack standing there. "Are you awake?"

She remained unresponsive even as half of her wanted to answer him. _Say something you idiot!_ Janet hissed inwardly, but she just couldn't build up the courage to do so. Janet heard Jack heave a weathered sigh and she knew instantly that he suspected she was sound asleep; as he exhaled his warm breath hit her across her face. Janet hated how he could be standing this close to her, but yet she couldn't reach out for him. She despised the rift that had been torn between them, hated it with a passion.

Suddenly, Jack kissed her gently. Actually, it wasn't even long enough to be considered a 'kiss', it was just sort of a peck. But in that split second when his lips unexpectedly touched hers Janet's thinking froze, and she started to wonder unconsciously why being more than friends couldn't work out between them. It took all the restrain she could muster to keep from kissing him in return and to keep up the illusion that she was still really sleeping. But after a moment it ended and Jack simply pulled away, resting a callused hand on her cheek. "Goodnight Jan," he murmured. And then he was gone, she could hear his soft footsteps as he exited the room quietly, for once in his life pulling off the act of being graceful and not banging into anything on his way out. Jack flicked out the lights as he left something Janet had forgotten to do when she first hopped into bed.

When she was sure he had departed, and heard the reassuring 'click' of the bedroom door as Jack shut it loosely behind him, Janet let her eyelids flick open again. She waited silently as her sight adjusted to the dark surroundings and laid unmoving in her bed. In the dimply lit room, where the only light was that from the moon that came streaming through the slender space between the two curtains pulled across the window, Janet could only find one thought that kept her from sleep. One simple thought that intruded her mind… _Why could she admit to Jenny, Dorothy, Terri, Ruth, and Jack himself that she was in love with him, when she didn't even have the courage to admit it to herself? _Janet rolled off her back and onto her side, hauling the blankets up to her chin as she wondered how such a thing could even be possible.

_::_

In his own room, Jack was struggling out of his shirt and into a white T that he used for sleeping. He was being even clumsier than usual and as he rammed accidentally into the wall he cringed, not wanting to wake up Janet next door. The reason for his lack in physical ease was because his mind was elsewhere, not even concentrating in the slightest at what he was doing. His brain- as if it wasn't already crammed enough with thoughts- kept going back to the beach and the mental picture he had of Janet… as she was walking away.

Jack had always thought that Janet would be the one who'd stay by him, the only friend he had in this world who would never leave him. He truly believed that she would be there forever. And during these last few weeks he knew that their relationship had changed, drastically. But Jack had also trusted that they would still always be together. The last seven years had told him that Janet would never fail to give him encouragement when he felt glum, lectures when he was cocky, advice when he seemed lost… and everything else he needed. She was the calvary in his army. Jack thought Janet would always be there for him. And during this trip to Indiana, Jack began to believe that she was even more important than that. They weren't only supposed to be there for each other, they were supposed to conquer the world together.

That is, until today.

Today had changed everything. The moment Janet turned her back and walked away all Jack's hopes and dreams seemed to crash to the ground. How could Janet tell him that she loved him and then leave him standing there? The pedestal that he held Janet so highly up on in his mind crumbled, shattered into a million pieces. He had tried to give her his heart and she had pushed him away like some kind of filthy rag. It hurt like nothing else Jack had ever felt before in his life. But yet, somehow… he still loved her. He was still madly, hopelessly in love with Janet, and despite everything he loved her even more now than before.

A sharp knock from the other side of his door shook Jack out of thought. His mind immediately felt crystal clear as his expectations rose in milli-seconds, maybe it was Janet. "Hey Jack, it's me, Jenny." His hopes disappeared in an instant. It wasn't Janet. Jenny knocked again, her voice louder than before, "Are you in there?"

Jack discarded his jeans and hastily slipped his bare legs into a pair of plaid pyjamas-pants. "Yeah."

"… Can I come in?"

Jack sighed, still dis-hearted that it wasn't who he wanted to see. "Sure," he said after a moment. The door swung open slowly and Jenny immerged into the room, one hand covering her eyes securely. Jack smirked, "I'm not that ugly you know; it won't kill you to look at me."

She paused in the doorway, still guarding her view. "Are you decent?"

"Sure, I think I'm a very good person," Jack replied, slightly confused.

"No," Jenny shook her head back and forth, "I mean are you dressed?"

Puzzled, Jack frowned, "You think I'd invite you in here if I wasn't?"

Hesitantly, Jenny peeked from between her fingers and breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of Jack fully clothed. She waltzed over to him with a friendly smile, her uncertainty from just moments before completely gone. Jack thought it funny how she could switch from one emotion to the next so easily. "Well, no it's just that Janet said you were always walking around the apartment in your… well your underwear, and that you joked around with her and Terri a lot," Jenny explained, "So I just thought I'd play it safe."

Jack chuckled sadly as he sat down on his large queen-sized bed. "Don't worry," he told her, waving his hand, "I only save that treatment for Janet and Terri."

"Darn," Jenny said jokingly, snapping her fingers in mock disappointment. Jack grinned at her unruly wise-crack. _Janet's humor,_ he thought to himself. "But let's turn serious for a moment Jack," Jenny ordered, her smile no longer on her face, "I came here to talk to you…"

"Okay," Jack frowned too, as he picked up on her solemn attitude. "What do you want to talk about?" he asked as she took a seat next to him, but still kept a respectful space between them.

"About Janet."

"Oh," Jack mustered, feeling his emotions take a turn for the worst. He didn't want to talk about Janet, especially to Jenny. She was a fresh college graduate, not to mention Janet's little sister; how could he ever confide in her? "Jenny, I'd really rather not… I mean…" Jack struggled for words, "don't take it the wrong way, but its personal…"

"You mean it _was _personal," Jenny corrected him, "It could have stayed that way too if you guys hadn't came to Indiana and decided to involve the whole family. We pretty much know what's going on so it can't be considered 'a private matter' any longer. Whatever the final decision may be it will now affect all of us in one way or another, so I have a right to talk about it Jack."

He eyed Jenny incredulously, he hadn't expected such a winded come back from her… actually, he hadn't even expected any retort what-so-ever. After a long pause with Jack coming up empty with any ideas of how to shimmy his way out of this one, he finally managed to agree. "…alright fine, if you want to talk, then we'll talk…"

Jenny smiled tightly, "thank you. It won't take long, I promise." When Jack complied with a short nod she continued. "So, what I want to know is: what are the details? Are you two together? Are you not together? Is it complicated? Or what?"

"Just tell me this," Jack said with slight conviction, feeling his defenses rise at Jenny's school-girl enquiry. "Why do you want to know? Do you need new gossip or something?"

Jenny's eyes narrowed into little slits at that question, and Jack could tell just by that action this was not going to be a pleasant conversation that they were about to share. "Actually," she bit back harshly, "I wanted to know what was going on because when Janet came home tonight she couldn't even make it up the front steps without bursting out into tears, mom had to carry her through the door."

"She was crying?" Jack asked in disbelief.

"Well I don't know if you could call it that. It was more like sobbing so hard everyone assumed she was tempting to bring her vital organs up through her nose."

He ignored that last statement as his mind started to whirl. "Did she say anything?"

Jenny shook her head, "not to me. She only wanted to take a shower and talk to mom."

Jack ran a hand roughly through his sandy blond hair, trying to make sense out of this information. Why had Janet been crying? If anyone should have been weeping to such a state it should have been him. After all, he was the one who had gotten his love rejected… not Janet. _Unless… _he thought inwardly, _Janet had been lying…_ Unless she did really think they could be together, but had been too afraid to say so. Jack jumped up from the bed suddenly, and whipped his head towards the direction of the door. "I have to talk to Janet," he exclaimed, hurrying to the doorknob with an outreached hand. The possibility of his assumption being correct was too strong to simply ignore; he had to see Janet, Jack needed to know if he was right.

"Hold up Heartbreaker," Jenny said, interrupting his mad dash by grabbing his arm and twisting him around so that he faced her again. "What do you think you're doing?"

Jack pulled out of her hard grip. "I need to see her, Jenny, maybe there's still a chance," he explained hastily, "if I could just…"

"Hey Jack wait a second."

"I need to ask her once and for all-"

"Jack will you just listen to me…"

"I mean, I knew she was stubborn, but not to this extent-"

"Stop."

"This could be it, this time might-"

"STOP!" Jenny yelled, her voice loud and commanding. Jack, shaken at her sudden outburst, let his hand slide away from the doorknob. He turned to see Jenny's face frozen madly in an enraged expression. "Stop."

"Stop what?"

"What's wrong with you Jack?" she questioned, her eyes set in a steely glare. "I've sat by and watched all week as you've made passes at Janet over and over again, but enough is enough. Can't you see what you're doing to her? You told her you love her, and you told her you want to be more than friends which I think is cute and very sweet… but she said no Jack. N-O. Janet said no."

"I know what she said," Jack responded stiffly, "but I really think that I can convince her, Jenny."

Jenny shook her head; a sympathetic smile highlighted her lips. "That's just it Jack. The key word here is 'convince'. What are you going to do? 'Convince' Janet to fall in love with you? Love doesn't work that way, and you should know that."

"But…"

"But what?" Jenny sighed slowly, "she's my sister Jack. I want her to be happy, and I know you mean well, but you're hurting her. You're making her miserable. You can't force someone to love you."

Silence enveloped the room as Jenny paused, giving Jack a chance to wrap his head around what she had said. Was he really pressuring Janet in such a way that he was actually inflicting pain? He had been concentrating so hard on his feelings and his emotions that it had never hit him to take the time to think about how Janet must feel. Had he hurt her to the point that she wanted to just erase these last few weeks? Did she regret bringing him to Indiana? Or even more important, did she regret him altogether? Did Janet wish she had never even met him?

"Do you love her, Jack?" Jenny asked suddenly, causing him to look up into her eyes again.

"What?"

"Do you love Janet?"

He nodded without hesitation, "of course."

Jenny reached over and took his hands in hers, giving them a gentle squeeze. "There's an old saying that says that if you love something, let it go, and if it comes back then it's yours, but if it doesn't then it was never really meant to be." She searched his face carefully, "If you love Janet like you said you do… then Jack, you have to let her go. When we love people, and when I say 'love' I mean really, truly, deeply love them, then we no longer do what's best for us, we do what's best for them. I know it's hard, but if you care for Janet in the slightest then you will let her go. It will hurt, but Jack, I honestly don't think she was ever meant to be yours."

Jack pulled his hands out of Jenny's, his mind a mess. "You don't understand Jenny. It took me this long to fall in love with Janet; if I let her get away it would take me even longer to fall out of love. I can't just let her go after all this time… We've been through so much, how could we just try to forget it all?"

"I'm not telling you to forget, I just want you to do what's best not just for you but for Janet also." Jenny spoke with wisdom beyond her years and Jack knew that deep down she was acting on behalf of the fact that she wanted him and Janet both to be happy. She was concerned for her big sister. "And if you have to let her go to make her happy again… then that's just the cost you'll have to pay. If you love her then there is no price too large for Janet's happiness… even if it means taking yourself out of her life."

Jack bit his lip as Jenny glanced at him expectantly, waiting for an answer. After a long silence he stood to his feet and walked over to the door, holding it open. He motioned to it, his face set in a defensive glare. "Jenny," Jack stated calmly, but with a deep intensity, "please leave."

She seemed partially stunned, but only for a brief moment, then, regaining her composure she nodded briskly. "Well, sure I guess you have the right to kick me out. It is your bedroom for this week anyways."

But Jack's temper was rising as his eyes remained fixed on her gruffly. She wasn't budging; he had told her to get out and she just sat there unmoving. "I'm just trying to help, Jack," Jenny said simply.

"Well I really don't want your help," Jack told her sternly, pointing again to the open door. How could telling him he should leave Janet be considered as 'help'?

"Well, I thought that maybe you wanted the opinion of an outsid-"

"Just LEAVE Jenny!" he hollered, shocking himself by the magnified depth in his voice. Jack took a long breath, "Just…. Get out…"

The point had gotten very clearly through to Jenny's head, and she hasted to the door. Her eyes held a hurt look in them, but Jack couldn't find the will to care. "I'm sorry Jack," she mumbled gently as she stepped out into the hallway, "I didn't mean to upset you. I really am- "

But Jack didn't bother with a response; he simply slammed the door shut behind her. Alone in his room, Jack placed a hand on his forehead and leaned heavily against the wall. He stayed like that for a longtime, until all the anger had passed out of him and he was left with only an empty feeling. He couldn't believe Jenny had the nerve to barge in there and complain about how he was all wrong for Janet and how he should just stop trying to convince Janet otherwise. Jenny was what? Four years younger than him? Who did she think she was, telling him how to live his life? What she said was pathetic. Pathetic and offensive and unthoughtful and inconsiderate and low…

And unnerving.

Because as Jack turned off the lights and sauntered leadenly to his bed he couldn't help but ask himself if maybe Jenny was right. Maybe she had a point.

_**Now it seems to me some fine things have been laid upon your table, **_

_**But you only want the ones that you can't get. **_

_**Desperado… **_

He placed his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling, his usual bright eyes dimed with thought. Was Janet really supposed to be his? Or was he supposed to let her go? Jack loved her, he knew that with all his heart, and he wanted to be more than just a friend, he was tired of being placed in the 'best bud' category. Jack wanted to be so much more to her than that. But perhaps he wanted to be more than friends with Janet for all the wrong reasons. Maybe what made him so crazy about her was the fact that she had always been off limits. Was what fueled his feelings most the idea of wanting something that he couldn't have?

_**You're losing all your highs and low, **_

_**Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away? **_

_**Desperado… **_

If that was the case, and Jack was just chasing after Janet for the thrill, then what should he do? He tried to examine all the highs and lows that he and Janet had ever shared, and this was the equation he received: before anything else, before all these feelings had ever started to build, Janet was his friend. Since she was technically still his friend, despite the week they had just shared which possibly could class her as something more, Jack needed to treat her as a friend. With respect, kindness, and with a will to respect her dignity.

Jack had told her that he loved her, but Jenny was right, Janet had said 'no'. No to the thought of them ever being something more. And as if that wasn't hard enough for him to swallow there was also another cruel shot of reality that they'd both have to suffer through. The fact that they'd never be able to forget that kiss; actually both kisses, the time he had kissed her under the stars and the kiss they had shared today on the beach. Both incidents would no doubt return to haunt them even after they returned to Santa Monica, because they represented something that Jack and Janet had missed out on: all that they could have been. Jack couldn't go on with that thought tormenting him and still live peacefully in apartment 201. It would hurt too much, and he knew that Janet would feel the same way. The reminder of what they missed out on would drive them crazy.

And then, of course, there was Terri. She was a smart girl, and she'd figure out everything that's going on between her two roommates eventually, it was only a matter of time. Once she did, how were the three of them supposed to live comfortably together? Every future conversation would be filled with awkwardness. The answer was: they couldn't. They'd never be able to live together as they used to. Jack had messed up, he'd crossed the line, and had broken the house rule that had kept them all content for so long. It was all his fault.

He, Jack Tripper, had ruined everything.

So… it was up to him to fix it again. Janet was his best friend, and he was fond of Terri as well; he cared about their lives deeply. Jenny was right, it broke his heart to admit it, but she was right. He loved Janet, and so he would make the biggest sacrifice on his part to ensure her happiness… he'd let her go. Jack couldn't keep on living in apartment 201 with Janet and Terri, he had to leave. He knew it would hurt them all if he left, but it would hurt even more if he stayed. Jack would tell Janet first thing in the morning and then he'd pack up and depart before he could change his mind. He needed to get out of Janet's life…. He had already messed it up enough. She didn't need anymore pain, especially from him. Jack knew it would be hard, but he'd survive. It was too late for him to forget about Janet, but maybe there was still time for her to forget about him. Forget about him and move on.

_**Freedom, oh freedom, well that's just some people talking. **_

_**Your prison is walking through this world all alone. **_

_**Desperado… **_

Jack blinked and felt a small tear escape his eye and roll back into his hair, but as he laid there he refused to wipe it away. For him, the days of apartment 201 were over… and somehow he was going to be forced to move on as he made Janet forget about him once and for all.

_::_

Morning came too soon for him. The alarm clock beeped loudly in his ear from where it was resting on the mahogany bedside table. It read 6:45am, the exact time Jack had set it for. He hadn't slept a wink last night; too many thoughts had been rolling through his brain. And his mood was no higher than his energy, for as Jack slumped out of bed and chucked his belongings into his suitcase he realized that he was packing to leave not only Indiana, but apartment 201 as well. Because he wouldn't be making the trip back to Santa Monica with Janet.

At two in the morning Jack had quietly left his room and telephoned the local airport, demanding a one way ticket to Fullerton California. They had booked his flight for eleven thirty this morning, two hours before Janet's flight would leave to head back to Santa Monica. After Jack had reassured a ticket to his hometown he called Mr. Angelino, informing him that he would be extending his absence for at least another week, and somehow avoided being fired. He knew he would eventually return to Santa Monica, but first he had to give himself time to get his life back on track, so he would stay with his parents for awhile. Then, when Jack was ready he would return to Santa Monica and search for an apartment while he continued his work as chef at Angelino's. He will send someone to collect the rest of his belongings at apartment 201, and that was all Jack had planned out so far, all that was left to do was tell Janet. Tell her and then get out of her life.

There was also the letter. After he had figured out all the details the last thing Jack had done last night was scribble down a note for Janet. He couldn't just leave her without fully explaining all the reasons why he was making the decisions he was making. His final debt to her had to be to inform her on why he couldn't stay with her, and that's exactly what he had done in the letter. It told Janet everything she'd ever need to know about him, about her… about each other. When he had been content with his work Jack had folded the square piece of white paper down the middle and had sealed it safely in an envelope. Then, he had tiptoed into her room and tucked it in her suitcase, somewhere he was sure she wouldn't find it until he was long gone. And that was it, after that last chore he'd gone to bed, fully exhausted.

Jack grabbed a pair of clothes and exited his room as he made his way to the washroom. He felt as if he was in a daze, a daze because half of him couldn't believe what he was about to do. He felt like a refugee who was being uprooted and transferred to a new county. Jack changed quickly, knowing that he didn't have much time before he would have to start the three hour drive to the airport. He glanced at himself one last time in the mirror before he left the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind him. Jack was passing Janet's bedroom when her door suddenly swung open, revealing a disheveled Janet. Her red night dress stopped just a bit above mid-thigh, her hair was slightly tangled but somehow still managed to look nice, and her eyes were out of focus, a sure sign that she had just woken up. She noticed him and frowned, "What are you doing up so early?"

"What are you doing up?" Jack asked in return, hesitant to tell her his answer.

"I need to use the washroom," Janet told him, running a hand through her dark hair. Her eyes held that guarded look and Jack hated it. "You don't have to get ready yet," she said, "we still have another two hours before we should wake up. You look tired Jack, go back to sleep."

He knew she had picked up on the dark circles under his eyes, an omen from his sleepless night. Jack sighed deeply, knowing that what he was about to say would hurt them both, cut them right to the bone. "**You **have another couple hours to sleep, Janet, but I have to get ready."

Confused, Janet crossed her arms over her chest. "Why?"

"Janet," Jack whispered gently, closing his eyes briefly, "… I'm not coming back to Santa Monica with you."

He watched as she smirked, thinking that at first he was just up to his usual joking around mischief. But then as Janet stared at him more intently and noticed the pain on his features her grin slowly faded away. "What do you mean?" she asked softly.

Jack tried to smile to set her at ease, but his lips froze and refused to curl upwards. "I… I'm leaving Janet," he finally told her, his voice barely audible.

"What?"

"I'm going to stay with my family for awhile."

"But then you're coming back," Janet said, but he knew that deep down she understood by the seriousness on his face that that was not the case. He wasn't coming back, not soon, not ever.

Jack shook his head. "No, not to the apartment."

A thousand emotions flashed on Janet's face as she grasped the whole concept of what was going on. But even after all the years he'd spent learning each emotion that ever crossed her pretty face, there was only one that was clearly visible and stood out among all else at that moment. Hurt. "When are you leaving?" she demanded, but it was just a question to help keep herself together.

Jack glanced at his watch, "In twenty minutes…"

"Wh-what?" Apparently she hadn't been expecting such a short amount of time.

"I have to leave for the airport," he explained.

Janet gazed around at her surroundings before letting her almond eyes focus back on him again. "Don't you think you're being a bit hasty?"

"Sometimes it's better to do things quickly," Jack reasoned with her, "get it done and over with… just like ripping off a band-aid."

That was the last straw. Obviously comparing something so trivial like a band-aid to him leaving forever was more than Janet could take, her eyes started to water. "_Why?_" she choked.

"Why what?"

"Why are you leaving me?" Those words struck Jack hard. _Why are you leaving me? _Janet stared at him with a lost puppy look, one that seemed to say why wasn't I good enough for you? He had never seen such a look on Janet's face before. Jack instantly felt like he was abandoning her, but that wasn't what he was trying to do… he was just trying to make her happy.

"Honey, no. I'm not leaving you because I want to," Jack told her tenderly; he touched her arm, but she jerked away. "But Janet we can't go on living this way. It hurt's too much. I want you to be happy…"

"Happy!" Janet asked loudly, her voice rising to the point that she was almost shouting. "Jack Tripper, when have you ever cared about my happiness?"

"Since I decided I love you!" Jack answered, equally as loud. She stopped at his words and he reached out to touch her cheek, when Janet didn't pull away this time he relaxed slightly. "I love you, Jan," Jack said somberly, this was the third time he had told her this week and each time the words became more and more painful. He was in love with a girl he couldn't have. "And I don't want to hurt you anymore. I can't live with you girls, because I'll be deceiving everyone, and you know it. Every time I look at Terri I'll feel like I'm living a lie and hiding secrets from her, and every time I look at you I'll be reminded of what I can't have. I can't live that way Janet, and neither can you."

She searched his face desperately, "we can work this out Jack; we can pretend that this week never happened. I'll try to-"

Jack knew she would have rambled on and on making up excuses had he not pressed his index finger to her lips, shushing her completely. "Stop it Jan," he mumbled, "I'm not changing my mind."

"Jack," Janet sounded desperate and she reached out to him with her hand, gripping his arm and then letting it slowly run down to his fingers. She intertwined his with her own. "Please don't leave, I want you to stay."

_That's the reason I have to go, _Jack reminded himself mournfully, _she wants me, but she doesn't need me. And that's why she's better off without me. _Jack squeezed her fingers lovingly, "this is best for both of us."

"How can you say that?" Janet demanded, the crack in her voice making him long to hold her close. He wanted to reassure her of everything, but couldn't, because it would be a lie.

"I can say it because it's true."

She was silent for a moment, attempting to find some reason to object to that, but it was obvious there weren't any as the silence dragged on. When there was nothing else Janet could do she suddenly leaned in towards him. And without trying to Jack found himself holding her tight against him, their arms wrapped around each other, both not wanting to let go. "Jack," she murmured. Jack clenched his jaw, afraid that at any moment he'd burst out in sobs. Concentrating on comforting Janet so that he could have a reason to push his own pain out of his mind, he ran a hand along her back soothingly. He heard her sniff softly and Jack sighed, it was almost time for him to go.

"I hate crying," Janet mumbled as she wiped her eyes from where her head was pressed against him.

Jack smirked, despite the situation they were in and the good-bye they would soon have to face. Janet never failed at telling him just what was on her mind. "Gosh, I'm going to miss you," he whispered into her hair.

She tightened her grip on him slightly, but remained silent. Janet was a respectable girl, he knew that, for Jack had observed time and time again as she stood by the decisions of her friends through thick and thin. Despite her short figure she always managed to be the tower that her loved ones leaned on. And since Jack knew that Janet understood this was his final decision he realized that she wasn't going to object anymore. She would stick by him, respect him, and somehow find some way to support him… even now. She was unlike any girl he had ever met before, and would ever meet again. Janet concentrated on helping others instead of herself, and they both knew that the quieter and less emotional she was the easier it would be for him to get his butt out the door.

After a long bout of stillness Janet glanced up at him, resting her chin on the top of his chest as she examined him under a soft gaze. "Will I ever see you again?" she enquired, barely even sounding like the Janet he knew.

Unable to voice his answer, Jack simply shook his head from side to side. Janet sadly smiled at his response. "That's what I figured," she mumbled, pressing her cheek against his shirt once more. Even though he would be moving back to Santa Monica, Jack knew that it was a huge city, the chances of ever crossing tracks were slim. Plus, he'd try as hard as he could to avoid her. There would be no more trips to the Regal Beagle for him, for if they caught a glimpse of each other Jack would have re-entered himself into her life and ruined the whole purpose of leaving in the first place.

It was time. Jack pulled back and she stepped out of his embrace. They avoided each other's gaze and after a moment he walked soundlessly to his room to grab his over-stuffed suitcase. Returning to the hallway, Jack frowned as he noticed that Janet was still stuck in the same position, with her hands hanging limply at her sides and her eyes glued unseeingly on the ground. He held out his hand for her and she looked up into his face. "Walk me to the door?" Jack asked gently. The underlining meaning in his words was so very obvious to the both of them. _Hold my hand one last time?, _was what he had really meant.

Janet nodded and placed her hand in his outstretched fingers. With his suitcase in one hand and her in the other he led the way to the stairs. It was a perilously slow descent as the two of them tried to keep their pace labored, not wanting to reach the bottom. It was too early for the rest of the family to be up and about, even Ruth was still sleeping soundly. The house held an empty air to it, and Jack and Janet felt that besides each other they were completely alone in the large three story building. Jack silently compared this to some kind of horribly twisted victory walk, the last walk he would ever make with Janet by his side. When they had conquered the stairs and crossed the giant throw-rug that carpeted the tiled floor they found that the front door was standing directly in front of them. Janet grabbed the gold stained handle and pushed the door open with a small shove.

She removed her hand from his grip and turned so that they were facing each other. "How are you getting to the airport?"

"Kyle's car," he told her, "I'm just going to leave it there and Raymond said he and Kyle will get it on their way back from Speedway. They went to go watch the races today."

Janet gave him a quick nod to show that she understood. An awful silence spread out and enveloped them suddenly, it was made up of the fact that they were about to partake in their last farewells. After all these years of hope, and trust, and just so many great things that both of them had taken for granted…. Out of all the things he was going to miss, the one that laid the heaviest on Jack's mind was that he wouldn't be able to just walk out of his bedroom and slump into the kitchen each morning and see her sitting there at the table eating. He would miss not being able to simply turn around and expect to see Janet standing there with her smile shining on her face. And that little truth managed to somehow clog him up with emotion; Jack shrugged his shoulders, not knowing what to say, "… I guess this is it."

They frowned in unison at his words. The two of them had both thought that if they ever had to say goodbye it would be a bit more memorable than such a simple statement as '…I guess this is it.' That sentence gave their shared past no honor whatsoever. "I never really thought I would ever have to say goodbye," Janet sighed, "some part of me just thought that you would always be there, Jack."

"Yeah, I didn't really believe that I'd ever be standing at the door like this… ready to walk out." Jack said seriously, feeling like he was way out of character. Usually he tried to brighten the room and liked to act like he was still a kid at heart, but he doubted this room could ever be brightened… not at the moment anyway. They looked each other over carefully, and Jack knew Janet was thinking the same thing as him, that this was the last time they'd ever see each other again. He looked at her completely, and tried to make a mash-up image of Janet in his mind, a picture of how she looked in the present and how she had looked in the past since he had known her. Trying to combine it all together into the very best of Janet Wood, Jack stored the mental image somewhere safe in his mind, somewhere that it couldn't be forgotten.

"Goodbye Jack," Janet whispered softly, her eyes suddenly wet and her chin quivering incessantly.

At her words, Jack stepped out of the house, down the three stone stairs that led to the door and onto the soft grass. "It's been one heck of a ride, kid," he told her with a small grin, the biggest he could make.

Somehow she managed to smile. "A party," she agreed.

All those memories and moments from the last eight years flew across Jack's brain suddenly, filling him with a sense of bittersweet joy. Bittersweet, because it was over now and there would be no more to add to his memoire. This really was it, this was the end. "Janet," he breathed, his voice instantly as soft as butter, "promise me that you'll remember us the way we were before all this, before everything came crashing down around us. When you think of me promise me you'll smile, and then I'll know it was all worth it."

She nodded after a moment, and even though it was a small action Jack knew it was true and from her heart. And then he did one of the hardest things he'd ever do. He popped the trunk, shoved his suitcase into Kyle's car, walked around to the driver's side, opened the door and started the engine. And as he glanced up at Janet standing there on the top step he shoved his foot on the accelerator; lurching the car into motion. Without waving goodbye Jack sped down the dirt drive as he drove away from Janet, leaving the woman he loved behind on a doorstep.

_::_

**Lyrics by The Eagles, the song is entitled Desperado. **

_I love you more than I've ever loved before, _

_And to prove it I'll make myself suffer through any amount of pain, _

_To ensure one simple thing… _

_Your happiness._


	15. Cupid Works Over Time

**Readers, we're coming to the final stretch. Soon "Bound" will be finished, I hope you've all enjooyed it so far! This chapter is anything but perfect, but please humor me because I think this is where Jack and Janet are supposed to wind up. **

**~ C.A**

Chapter fifteen: Cupid Works Over Time

_I'd rather die tomorrow_

_Than live a hundred years _

_Without knowing you. _

_**~John Smith, from the film Pocahontas **_

_You know that place between sleep and awake,_

_the place where you can still remember dreaming? _

_That's where I'll always love you. _

_That's where I'll be waiting._

_**~ Tinkerbell, from the film Peter Pan**_

_::_

Janet was in her room now; that was all she knew. Somehow she'd hauled herself up the stairs and had literally collapsed on her bed. The air was empty, there was no sound of laughter or chuckling or joking or any words whatsoever…. there was no sign of Jack. This place was too happy she realized enraged as she glared around the room; the clock sat on the wall, ticking merrily as it counted down how many minutes had passed since Jack had left. The walls were painted in a bright beige color, a color that reminded her of vanilla ice cream, which was completely random and unnecessary. The bed stand held an old picture with the faces of a much younger version of herself and Jenny, the two kids grinned back at her mockingly and Janet felt the urge to curve-ball the image through the window. Instead, she grabbed it by the wooden frame and shoved it facedown, not wanting to look at anything that could possibly remind her of better times.

So this was it… He was gone. She didn't know what to do, didn't know how to function without her surrogated brother, best friend, and potentially the love of her life around. He was gone. Never to return. Never. Ever.

_**Gone. **_

Janet put a hand to her chest, somewhere above her heart; she felt nothing. No happiness, no pain, no joy, no hurt…. nothing except a dull pulse. When Jack had sped down the driveway he had unintentionally brought her heart with him, leaving her behind and very much broken. She couldn't feel anything, no emotion flowed through her veins, he stole that all away from her. So much for trying to preserve her happiness.

Janet's throat burned and she blinked. She didn't even want to think about how she was going to come home to Santa Monica later on that very day and face Terri. She knew exactly what the first words were going to be that popped out of her friend's mouth, Terri would frown and cock her head to the side like she always did when she was confused and ask the simple question of "Where's Jack?" And Janet would have to tell her the truth, that she didn't know where he was, somewhere in the huge city of Fullerton with his parents. She'd also have to tell Terri that they'd both never lay eyes on Jack Tripper again, that he was moving out, or rather he was already _moved out_, and he had no plans of returning.

Janet reached for her suitcase, wanting to desperately put her mind on something more constructive. She started packing her things away, for she knew that soon she too would have to make her way to the airport. It made her feel stupid to admit that she missed Jack already, but that was the truth; she missed him more than she had ever thought possible and it had only been thirty minutes. Janet huffed, blowing her bangs out of her eyes; she hated how she could unwillingly care so much for just one person. There was billions of people in this world, many, many faces with different and equally complex stories that they could share. Some have suffered, some have rejoiced, some have hurt, some have loved… and most have done all of those things. But somehow Janet couldn't and didn't want to live without just one of those people. Just one. Jack.

She folded one of her shirts carefully and sighed as she placed it in her bag, but as she dumped the shirt inside a flash of white stuck to the side of the suitcase caught her attention. Frowning, Janet reached forward and hauled out a short envelope. It had many folds and crumples in it, as if someone had accidently fidgeted with it in all their anxiety. She turned it over and felt a ripple of adrenalin pump through her at the words written on the front, not because it read _to Janet_ she had already figured it was for her, after all it was in her suitcase, but because she immediately knew who's spidery and slightly sloppy handwriting it belonged to. It was Jack's. But that fact made her hesitant. Did she really want to open it? Did she really want to know? He had just walked purposefully out of her life… did she really want to see what he had been thinking as he did so?

Janet stood motionless as time ticked by; battling between her curiosity and her stubbornness until finally her curiosity proved victorious and she instantly tore at the letter, scrambling to get it open. The paper crinkled beneath her fingers as she hauled it out of its package, letting the envelope fall, teetering and wheeling to the ground like a discarded piece of trash. Janet unfolded it carefully as if it was some ancient glass Chinese artefact that could shatter with the slightest pressure. She stared at the writing on the page, not reading it just yet. Why would Jack give her this? But then again… why not? What did they both have left to lose? And with that thought floating somewhere amidst the turmoil in her head she began to read, nervously and hungrily both at the same time.

_Dear Jan, _

_Since you're reading this, I guess I've already made my grand departure. Did I do a good job? Was it emotional enough to meet your standards? I know you're smiling. See, I can make you smile even when I'm not around… that must make me amazing, or something close to it anyways. Seriously though, there's a reason for this letter. I know you more than likely feel abandoned right now, I mean I did just leave without hardly any warning, but that's the only option I had. _

_Listen Janet, you are the most important person in my life, and I want… no, scratch that… I __**need**__ you to be happy. You were right back at the beach; I go through women like some perverted idiot. But you are not just one of those other girls, Janet. You're so much more than that. I don't even know how to explain it, but when I'm with you I feel like I'm on a permanent high, like nothing can touch me. But I hurt you, I broke the rule. I crossed the line when I kissed you that night, and again when I told you I love you. You just make me feel so good Janet, and I thought because of that, that everything could work out, but it's more complicated than that. I understand now. _

_I messed up, and the only way to fix it is to leave. I'm not giving up on you, I'll never do that Janet. I'm leaving because that's how much I love you. Forget about me Janet, forget and move on. I don't come close to deserving you. And no matter what, no matter how many years pass I'll never forget about my favourite brunette. But I need you to keep being happy… then, at least one of us will. I'm doing this for you. Please believe that. This isn't what I want, but it's necessary, because I don't want to hurt you and the only way to stop doing that is to get the heck out of your life. But I'll always love you, something inside me tells me that I'll never stop loving you, and I know something inside you says the same. Take care of Terri for me… and Larry, I know he's annoying, but be nice. You're smiling again. Admit it, I know you perfectly. _

_I love you. Even now. Distance somehow can't take that away. _

_Forever, Jack _

Janet stood there speechless. She didn't know what to do, or what to say, she even partially forgot how to breathe. _In and out, _she told herself softly, _in and out… _She was a strong-willed person; never had the thought occurred to her that she'd reach a spot in her life where there was something that she **couldn't **handle. But she'd just reached that spot. Worked up and scared because her head held no thoughts Janet simply stared down at the paper in her now trembling hands. She was being a baby, but what made her so terrified was the fact that she had heard it all before. Everything Jack had written down for her to read she had already heard from his mouth… but it sounded so much more purer on this piece of paper. More complete. And because of that it made her think harder than she ever had before as Janet's mind began to kick into action.

It was a long letter, extremely long especially compared to the letters she had seen Jack write in the past, but disregarding the length Janet read it through again. She remained on some sentences for a very long time, rereading them over and over.

_I'll always love you. I want… no scratch that, I __**need**__ you to be happy. I'm doing this for you. This isn't what I want. I'm not giving up on you. I crossed the line. I messed this up. I love you. Even now. _

Every word hurt her because she knew the just of what he was trying to say was that "It's my fault, I'm so sorry, you deserve better." Janet gripped the paper, accidentally crumpling it further as she tightened her fingers. "I don't deserve better!" she yelled suddenly, surprising herself as she looked around the room, wondering if someone else had said it. But no, Janet was indeed alone and the words had come from her own lips. They were true, the words she had spoken, she didn't deserve better… she deserved worse. After what she had put them through this week how could Jack think he didn't deserve her? Who had put up with her over controlling attitude all these years? Who had never once left her side? Who made her feel like she was walking on air? Janet couldn't imagine being in a world without him around, but yet, here she was… without him. And he thought all this was his fault.

A tear hit the paper with a soft thump, and Janet wiped her eyes. Not only did Jack think it was his fault, but he was also willing to accept the blame. He wanted to leave knowing that he'd be miserable, but at least he wouldn't hurt her to any more extent. Jack was giving up everything. To try to make her happy. Why was she so special to him? What made her so 'great'? Janet sighed as the answer appeared to her, it was for the same exact reason that she thought he was so amazing as well: because he loved her. She was special to him because he loved her, and he was special to her because she loved him. Janet finally understood, it wasn't complicated at all, it was so simple. So very simple. Letting each other go was so hard because they were in love. A flood of emotions washed through her all at once, threatening to overpower her. "I love him," Janet murmured as she held the letter tight against her chest. "I love him, and I don't care anymore about what happens… except that I need him."

He was _it_, he was all that she had really wanted all along. And she had just let him leave before she had realized the truth. But it wasn't over yet. Janet glanced at the clock on the wall, it was still ticking, but there was still time. Grabbing her suitcase, she broke out of the room, throwing the door open wildly as she lunged towards the stairs. Reaching the bottom, she dumped her bag at the doorstep and swiped her mother's keys off its metal hook nailed into the wall, then Janet raced back up the steps, taking two at a time until she was on the second floor. Sprinting down the hall, she squeaked open her parent's bedroom door and tiptoed inside. Her father's snoring filled the air, vibrating loudly off the walls and annoyingly sputtered each time he sucked in another breath of oxygen. He sounded like a dead motorcycle. Janet approached the side of their bed and caught sight of Ruth's sleeping form, she tapped her shoulder lightly and immediately her mother stirred.

"W-what?"

"Shh," Janet whispered, placing a hand on her arm, "it's okay, it's just me."

"Janet?" Ruth blinked and stared at her, her eyes masked with confusion; she shifted so that she was in a sitting position. "What are you doing? Why are you even up? There's still two hours until you leave, Honey."

"No, I need you to take me now," Janet told her gently, heart thumping in her chest. She knew that they needed to hurry if they wanted to catch Jack before he boarded his flight, because once he got on that plane that would be it. If he took off, she'd never see him again.

Ruth sighed and laid back down, hauling the blankets up around her again and let her eyes droop closed. "I'm not taking you early. You said you had to leave at eight forty-five and we will… but not a moment before."

"You don't understand!" Janet said swiftly, shaking Ruth's shoulder roughly to keep her awake.

She moaned and tiredly pried her eyes open again, glaring at her angrily. "Enlighten me, oh wise daughter of mine… what don't I understand?" she asked, rolling her eyes.

Janet sucked in a breath. "I love him, mom. I love Jack and I'm tired of saying that it won't work out. Because it can, maybe I didn't know it before, but I know now that it can.

"Good for you Janet," Ruth mumbled, sounding only half interested as her eyelids began to shut. "Go tell him."

Frustrated, Janet huffed. "I can't."

"Mmm…" Her mother was already on her way to dreamland, "why not?..."

"He's gone mom." At that statement Ruth snapped those two big brown eyes opened, her full attention finally grabbed. Janet nodded vigorously as she eyed her questionably. "Jack left. He told me that he was tired of hurting me and that he loved me enough that he'd let me go. He left for a flight to Fullerton, his hometown; he's not coming back, not even to our apartment. He wrote me this…" Janet said, thrusting Jack's letter in Ruth's hands. She grabbed her glasses and skimmed down the paper. "That's why we have to go now," Janet explained, "I need to tell him, before he get's on that plane… or else I'll never see him again. And I need you to drive me, I don't want to steal your car mom, but if you can't take me to the airport then I'm taking the car alone."

Janet waited hopefully, expectantly, and as Ruth looked up from the paper she breathed a sigh of relief as she noticed the air of excitement on her mother's facial features. She pressed the letter back into Janet's grip and hauled the sheets away from her bed, swinging her legs over the side… somehow not disturbing Andrea. Only two words came from Ruth's mouth, but they were the two that Janet had been dying to hear.

"Let's go!"

_::_

The family van zoomed down the highway at an incredible speed; Janet was surprised they hadn't gotten arrested yet. They were practically three hours into their journey and the turn off for the airport should be coming into their sights at any time now. Ruth was at the wheel, her hands gripping it tightly; her posture pin straight as she gazed at the stretch of road ahead of them, her eyes glued on it in concentration. Janet drummed her fingers against the dashboard impatiently; fear, excitement and anxiety had built up in her until she now felt like exploding with emotion. But somehow she managed to keep it bottled up and tried to work out what she would say to Jack when they arrived. What Janet would tell him would either make him change his mind and come home with her or continue on to Fullerton. It was basically a matter of whether they were going to spend the rest of their lives together or apart, and the suspense was eating her alive.

What if Jack said no? What if he refused to go back to Santa Monica even after Janet confessed that she was wrong? What would she do if that happened? And while those thoughts were very disturbing in themselves, there was another thought that presented an even bigger problem. What if Jack boarded the plane before she got to him and left before she had the chance to utter a single word? That was what frightened Janet to the highest degree, the chance of Jack leaving before she told him that she wanted to be with him.

"Here we come," Ruth announced, noticing the turn-off sign up ahead and slowing down just enough so that she could make it. The van jumped onto a new path and Janet found herself watching with anticipation as the Indianapolis International Airport slowly loomed into view. It was huge; how was she going to find Jack in all that? She touched the top of Jack's letter softly from where it poked out of her pants pocket. As she fingered it gently the piece of paper managed to give her at least a few moments of lingering comfort. Comfort to partially sooth her troubled mind. Gazing out the window, Janet watched wide-eyed as other cars that were parked safely in the parking lot blurred past as Ruth stomped hard on the gas pedal. A few moments later her mother had squealed into a stop just twenty feet away from the main entrance. Passer-bys trotted forwards, worrying about their own life problems, not Janet's. Many hardly noticed her or her stressed expression as she bolted out the side door of the vehicle.

Janet stared at the airport in shock, had it always been so large? Just the sight of it intimidated her. She didn't even want to know what her chances were of finding Jack in all that. The clouds held a terribly dark shade of grey, and a slight drizzle fell from the sky, it wasn't quite rain but still couldn't pass as simply fog. Janet blinked as the wet drizzle sprinkled on her face and in her hair, her eyelashes dripped with sky water. People continued to pass by, completely oblivious; to them she was just another face in a crowd. From behind her, she could hear Ruth roll down the van window and turned to gaze at her mother. Janet bit her lip, feeling like all this effort was useless, Jack had probably already left by now.

Ruth reached out the window and squeezed Janet's hand. "Go find him," she told her tenderly.

"Maybe…." She hesitated suddenly, unsure why she was even standing there. "Maybe we should just go home."

Her mother glared at her sharply after that unsure comment, and Janet could see the hope she held in her worn brown eyes. Ruth still believed that her daughter would find Jack, so she had to believe too. "Don't you dare give up; no daughter of mine abandons a man in some forsaken airport because she was too afraid to tell him the truth."

Janet shook her head. "I'm not afraid to tell him, I'm afraid that I'm too late. I'm afraid I'll walk in there and find out that he already left. What if he's gone?" she asked fearfully.

You'll never know if you never try," Ruth said convincingly.

She stood in silence for a couple more moments and then nodded slowly. Her mother was right, she was always right so of course she was in this case too. She had to be. Janet breathed out slowly, deciding that simply standing there accomplished nothing except making her look stupid and making her increasingly wet. "I'll grab my luggage," she murmured, turning towards the direction of the trunk, but the sound of Ruth calling her name made her swing around to look at her again.

"No, Janet wait!" she shouted and started the van up again. "You get going; you don't have much time left. I'll park the car and then check in your suitcase at the front desk."

Janet thought it over quickly and then decided that was probably the best option at the moment. "Okay, thank you, that's good," she mumbled hastily. "I love you."

"Love you too Honey," Ruth smiled, "call me when you get back to Santa Monica if I don't catch you before your plane leaves."

Janet nodded swiftly and ducked her head in through the window, giving Ruth a small kiss on her cheek. She murmured a small goodbye and then broke off towards the entrance at a slight run, feeling as if time was dwindling down to nothing. Janet crashed through the revolving door, and into the entrance of the airport. She gazed around her with big eyes, not knowing where to go. The airport was huge and spacious, adults and their children were scattered every which way, all with suitcases in their hands. The walls were boring shades of white and multicoloured greys, but the lights of the small shops lining the hallways brought some contrast into the place, making it at least somewhat visibly appealing. There were many signs hanging from various walls and the ceiling, it made Janet dizzy just to look at them. There were signs that directed you to the washroom, and signs for gate numbers, and signs that pointed you towards the front desk and the help center. Finally, her eyes lit up on something useful, it was a T.V. screen that had a list of the flight times and when they were going to start the boarding process. Janet walked over to it and examined it hastily, her eyes scrolled down the list.

_**Indianapolis, Indiana**__ to __**Fullerton, California**_

_Gate: __**19**_

_Boarding time: __**one minute **_

_Take off time: __**eighteen minutes**_

Her heart fluttered crazily in her chest and Janet felt that silly lump return to her throat, depriving her from speaking. It said that they were starting the boarding process… now, Jack was about to get on that plane. She had to find him. Gate nineteen; that was where he was… that was where she needed to go. Janet turned her attention back to the signs that littered the walls and gazed over them until she found the one that told her to take a right to go in the direction of gates fifteen to twenty.

Suddenly the P.A. system beeped loudly throughout the airport as the intercom was activated. "Flight 697 to Fullerton, California is beginning the boarding process," announced a computerized woman's voice, "All passengers should be at gate 19 and preparing for boarding. Thank you for your attention." Another beep sounded as the intercom was switched off. Janet suddenly had a mental picture of Jack walking down the exit and into the plane. His eyes clouded with remorse and sacrifice, truly believing that separating himself from Janet was the only positive option they had left. With that image engraved in her mind, she broke off into a jog, needing desperately to find him before that mental picture could become a reality.

Janet passed the sign that motioned to where Jack's terminal gate was located and continued on down a long straight and winded hallway. Women and men bunched together, some holding tightly to the little hands of small children, they all moved on in their own accord. Her quick movement caught a few people's attention and some glanced at her with confused looks on their faces, wondering why she was in such a big hurry, but Janet didn't care. All she was focused on was locating Jack; all she really wanted to do was scream from the rooftops that she loved him. She couldn't let him go, couldn't let him walk out of her life.

_**High up above or down below, **_

_**when you're too in love to let it go, **_

_**but if you never try, you'll never know, **_

_**just what it's worth… **_

Janet hurried to the end of the corridor, and searched for another sign. Her eyes fell upon one that was off to her left and as she read "_Gates 15 to 19 this way" _she took off again. A foreign man who had a small stand set up with trinkets and key chains gave her a huge grin and intentionally blocked her path. "Excuse me Miss, but would you be interested in purchasing some small object for a personal memoir of your trip?" he asked, his brown eyes gazing at her with expectancy.

She tried to walk past him as she shook her head. "No, sorry, this isn't the best time…"

"Well then perhaps you'd prefer a more valuable item, like maybe a platinum hand-crafted watch?" the man enquired, not letting Janet go so easily.

Again she swung her head from side to side, this time managing to get around him. "Please excuse me," Janet said with determination and tried yet again to carry on her way. Seeing that she would not make any sort of potential customer to him whatsoever the man simply shook his head in one short jerk. He called from behind her to have a nice day, but she was no longer listening, she was already running down the hallway.

"Last call for all passengers boarding flight 697 to Fullerton, California," the intercom announced loudly. With those words ringing in her ears Janet picked up the pace. She was running out of time. Her feet no longer seemed to touch the ground as she sprinted ever forwards, adrenaline fuelled every nerve in her body. Janet made another quick turn as her view caught on yet another sign that veered off to her left. As she rounded that corner, a young man with a thick head of waving unruly black hair in a black jacket with a small badge on his chest glared at her as she plowed on. Janet felt her heart sink as she realized that that guy was security, and it almost dropped to her feet when she heard his whistle blowing from behind her. Heavy footsteps thumped quickly behind her and Janet felt like cursing out loud as she took a short glance behind her to see that he was running after her and was hot on her trail.

"Ma'am!" He bellowed loudly, "Ma'am, please stop!" But she didn't. Something from deep inside her broke as the security guard yelled at her and commanded that she halt. Who was he that he could just pull her over like some speeding convertible and make her lose the only chance she'd ever have of ever seeing Jack Tripper again? Who did he think he was? Janet did the opposite of his words and instead of stopping her desperate sprint she sped up, pumping her legs harder than ever. Her momentum made the wind blow through her hair and her arms swung back and forth wildly. Everyone she passed watched in shock as she ran crazily, trying to find her destination: the ever elusive gate nineteen. She passed yet another security guard who analyzed the whole situation quickly and then joined the chase as well. Janet could feel them gaining on her; no matter how hard she tried they still had longer legs, they could still make bigger strides.

Suddenly, an answer to her prayers occurred as she turned another corner and found that gate fifteen was up ahead. _I'm getting closer! _Janet told herself silently, gasping for breath as she continued on past the gate. Four more gates to go. After she passed gates sixteen and seventeen she felt her energy give out on her, and her adrenaline rush came to an end. "C'mon, c'mon!" Janet panted under her breath, trying to keep up a steady pace. Gate eighteen came into her sights and she pumped her legs even harder, feeling the ever looming presence of the security guards behind her, they were only fifteen feet away now. Finally, ahead of her she found gate nineteen, Janet broke out into a huge smile as she felt an overwhelming sense of relief. But that grin dropped quickly off her face as she noticed the huge glass wall that separated her from gate nineteen. It was meant as a decoration, but all it really did was get in her way. Pausing to see exactly where the entrance to gate nineteen was, she noticed it was all the way at the end of the corridor. Janet took off again, knowing just how close she really was, but her brief milli-second pause had given the guards behind her the time they needed to catch up to her. They were now only five feet from her back. Janet glanced foolhardedly through the glass wall at gate nineteen on the other side as she ran and gasped as her sights set on the one person who held her life in his hands.

Jack stood on the other side of the soundproof glass as he waited in line to board the plane. He was wearing his brown jacket and his backpack was swung loosely over one shoulder, but he couldn't see her. His attention wasn't on what lied on the other side of his part of the glass; his concentration was directed to the ground as he stared absently at the floor with his passport held limply in his left hand. She was so close. Reaching the entrance of the gate, Janet outstretched her hand towards the door as her hopes rose. But was torn away from the doorknob as two strong bodies slammed against her, making her tumble to the ground. The security men had finally caught up to her like a predator stalking its prey and they pinned her against the ground.

Baffled, Janet remained motionless for a moment as she tried to wrap her head around what just happened and to get some air back into her empty lungs. Moments later, it all came to her in one swift jab at the heart: she had been so close to getting Jack, but had been stopped by these two fools. One man attempted to twist her hands behind her back as she laid on her stomach on the cold ceramic floor, but suddenly full of anger at the fact that she had been stopped, Janet lashed out. Breaking out of his hold, she moved to stand and reach, yet again, desperately for the doorknob when the other guard grabbed her around the waist, practically hauling her light body off the ground.

"Set me down!" Janet shouted at the top of her lungs, never feeling so lost in all her life. Jack was so close, but he remained unknown to the fact that she was standing just on the other side of a glass wall.

The man who held her tight in his arms grunted and the other who was picking himself up off the floor gazed at her cautiously as if she was some wild animal. "Please try to calm down Miss," the man who was dusting himself off said. "We need you to cooperate."

"You don't understand!" Janet wept, feeling the hot tears pooling out of her eyes as she struggled recklessly against them. "The man I love is on the other side of that wall! I need to see him!"

Both guards had to keep a grip on her now, or else Janet would be unrestrainable. "Just try to relax, we're not going to hurt you," one of them told her soothingly, but she didn't know which one it was exactly… everything had turned into a giant blur. She fought rashly, trying to escape, but her plan had been foiled and all her efforts were becoming in vain. These men were certainly not going to let her into that gate now in the state she was in, they must think she was some kind of crazy nitwit. Janet had lost…. Jack was going to leave and there was nothing she could do about it.

_**And the tears come streaming down your face, **_

_**when you lose something you can't replace. **_

_**When you love someone and it goes to waste… **_

_**Could it be worse?**_

_::_

Jack moved forwards in the line slowly, a sigh escaped his mouth as he crinkled his passport in his hand with uncertainty. He knew it was the best choice, but he still didn't want to lose Janet, and his life back at apartment 201, but mostly Janet. Soon he would have his passport checked and his ticket snatched away from him by some stewardess and he would be on a plane back to Fullerton. Jack felt like he was just running away from his problems, but if he was trying to escape… why did it hurt so much? He trained his eyes to the floor, unwilling to look at anyone else in the line. There was an older stocky lady behind him who had been watching him with concern, she was the only person who had taken the time to grasp the fact that Jack was obviously struggling with an internal problem. Nobody wore a solemn look on their face for fun. She had picked up on the fact that he was torn between jumping on the plane and walking away. The woman had tapped him on the shoulder earlier and had asked if there was anything she could do for him. He had shrugged slowly, putting on a smile that masked the hurt just under the surface. "No, I was just… thinking…" he had told her, grinning like some maniac on happy pills and as soon as she had turned away he'd dropped the act, returning to his furrowed eyebrows and the scowl that showed his true emotions.

The lady now gazed at him intently, but Jack pretended he hadn't noticed her staring from her spot behind him in the line. He didn't want anyone's pity; he just wanted to get this over and done with. He counted the people ahead of him and found that there were five; a young man in a business suit, a middle aged couple who were holding hands, and a blond haired woman with her son who tagged along beside her, constantly pulling on her shirt as he tried to grab her attention. Jack glared down at the floor again, and breathed heavily.

All of a sudden, a man at the back of the line made a shocked gasp, and as everyone turned to see why he was reacting in such a way he pointed behind him, to a glass wall at the end of the room. "Check that out!" he exclaimed loudly and slightly obnoxiously. Jack too, stared with surprise at the spectacle on the other side of the thick glass. There was an intense scuffle breaking out between two security guards and a young brunette right next to the door that allowed people to enter the gate. The girl was obviously not cooperating well as she flailed her arms wildly in the air, trying to shimmy out of the guards' grasp. They were moving too fast for Jack to get a good look at the woman's face. He smirked as he watched her break one arm free and hauled back to slug one of the security guards across the face. It amused him how two grown and trained men couldn't manage to control one small feisty female.

But apparently they had been going easy on her, for the moment after she had intentionally injured one of the guards they instantly doubled their efforts, ignoring the girl's safety completely as they grabbed her and threw her to the ground. The glass wall was supposedly soundproof, but muffled screams dulled the air as the security guards pinned the young lady against the floor so hard it looked like they were trying to drive her head into the tiles.

"Oh my," The lady who had fussed over him earlier murmured in a hushed voice beside Jack. "It doesn't look like they're too worried about hurting her, does it?"

Jack shook his head in agreement, but couldn't find his voice to answer the woman vocally. He was baffled that the girl still kicked and thrashed even though the two men were practically sitting on top of her trying to hold her down, whatever she wanted she was obviously very set on getting it. That's when the young lady turned just at the right angle so that her face was directed at the glass and Jack finally got a good look at her facial features. Jack gasped with shock as he realized that he knew that pair of almond eyes. They were the same eyes he had looked deeply into this morning before he had left for the airport. The girl being restrained by those two guards was Janet.

His Janet.

Jack watched dumbfounded, as his brain tried to get a grip on what was going on. His hands hung limply at his sides, and the passport he had been holding onto so tightly just moments before fell out of his hand and flopped on the ground. One of the men pinning Janet down grabbed her wrist and twisted it sharply, making her shout with pain as he tried to stop her from flailing. Jack heard her muffled cry from his side of the glass wall and felt a sudden enraged burning in his heart. They were hurting her. He clenched his jaw and balled his fists as he glared angrily at the men. Another one of Janet's shouts floated to Jack's ears and immediately he felt his temper snap like a rotten and brittle twig. He bent down and snatched the passport off the ground, thrusting it in the hands of the older woman who had held concern for him and who now stood with her mouth wide open as she watched Janet struggle against the security guards, unwilling to give up. "Can you hold this for me?" Jack asked her quickly, she pried her attention away from the scuffle and on to him.

"Of course dear," she said quickly, watching as he dumped his backpack at her feet and shrugged off his jacket, letting it fall on top of his bag. "What are you going to do?" the lady enquired.

"I don't know," Jack mumbled and lifted his shoulders nonchalantly, "hopefully something useful." Then, he turned his back on the woman and without warning took off towards the gate door. He needed to get on the other side of that glass wall.

_::_

"Get off of me!" Janet sobbed feebly as she made her last attempt to get free from the two men's grasp, but they had a solid grip on her now, there was absolutely no way she was getting away. She laid with her stomach on the hard floor and the guards had successfully pinned her arms against her back after many failed times. They glanced at one another uneasily and Janet knew they were unsure of what to do with her. Should they escort her to security? Should they bring her straight to the crazy house? Or should they just lock her up altogether? The man whom she had managed to punch already had a swollen cheek and if the circumstances had been brighter she would have smirked at the fact. She never knew she could throw such a forced swing.

"What do we do now?" she heard the swelled faced security guard murmur to the other.

"I don't know…" the other man replied, obviously at a loss of ideas. Finally, he seemed to make up his mind, "let's get her in some handcuffs and then we'll figure out where to go from there."

Handcuffs? Janet cringed; they were going to handcuff her? She wasn't a criminal, she hadn't done a single thing wrong; she was just trying to find Jack. Handcuffs shouldn't be an option, they were meant for thieves, and gang members, and murderers… she wasn't any of those things. Janet heard the clinking of metal as one of the men pulled a pair of handcuffs from his belt and she began to fidget again, not wanting to be put in such humiliation. "Easy now," the first man said slowly, not wanting all hell to break loose for a second time, "you're fine, just stay still."

Janet sighed, as she felt her heart swarm in defeat. Jack probably hadn't even noticed her and had already boarded the plane, in fact, it had probably already token off. So this was what defeat tasted like… Janet didn't like it one bit, it wasn't so much of a taste, but more of a feeling. A deep unsettling feeling that seemed to drown her brain in pessimistic thoughts, making her realize that she had been so close, but had still failed. She pressed her forehead against the cold floor, and waited patiently for the click of the handcuffs that would guarantee that the fight was indeed over. Janet had lost, Jack was gone. The frigid metal circled her wrists slightly and a tear made its way out of her eye and splattered uselessly on the tiled ground.

"Get off of her!" shouted a masculine voice. The security guards glanced up in alarm as a young man sprinted up to them and shoved one off of her back. Janet couldn't look up, the other guard had her head pinned to the ground, but she caught a glance of the man's shoes and felt an overwhelming sense of hope. They were a pair of Nike Jumps. The brand of sneakers Terri had bought Jack for his birthday last year, the exact same ones he had accidently dropped a blob of ketchup on a week after. She could see the faded ketchup stain, the very one they had tried to scrub off together so that Terri wouldn't notice. This man… was Jack Tripper.

Janet felt the weight of the other security guard disappear from her back as Jack shoved him off as well. "Sir!" the man bellowed angrily, "this woman needs to be restrained; she isn't in good health."

However much the guard had sounded enraged, Jack's voice doubled that. "Don't you dare say she's crazy! You idiot!"

Janet scrambled to her feet and in a matter of seconds had flung herself into Jack's arms. "Jack!" she sobbed, laughed, and yelled all at once, burying her face into him. He wrapped his hands around her securely. "Shhh," he whispered comfortingly into her hair, "it's okay, Jan… it's okay." Janet bit her lip as Jack hugged her tightly, she hadn't noticed how much she liked being in his arms. She vowed at that moment to never disregard or take for granted this man again. He completed her. The piece of her heart that belonged to him was quite a huge chunk, she could never let him walk away and steal that unknowingly away from her. She could never let him leave her standing on a doorstep as he sped off in the opposite direction ever again. Janet refused to ever let him go. Terri was right. She had said that there was no reason for Janet to be afraid of Jack, the only thing to be afraid of was that she would lose him. She had almost lost him, and it had let her see just how much she really needed him.

The security guards watched Jack and her with two of the most confused expressions Janet had ever seen. "Y-you know this lady, sir?" one spluttered, raising an eyebrow at Jack.

Jack shot back an equally disturbing look full of defensiveness and anger as Janet held tight to him. "Of course," he said monotone, "better than anyone else on this earth. And out of all the people I've ever meet she's the only one who has complete control of her sanity. How could you ever think otherwise?"

The two men looked bashful and slightly humiliated as one of them tried to nonchalantly shove the handcuffs he had earlier tried to arrest Janet with back in his belt. They stood there uneasily, but Jack took her gently by the shoulders and pulled her back so that he could look at her and as she felt herself being examined carefully by those sharp azure eyes she instantly forgot about the guards. "What are you doing here?" he asked her tenderly. Janet loved the way he had just growled ferociously at the security guards, but then switched his gaze to her and instead of anger he was kind and sincere. His face held that look that was reserved for only her, Janet just hated that it had taken eight years for her to become aware of it.

_Now the truth comes, _she told herself silently, knowing that the hardest part was yet to come. "Jack, I…" she began, but trailed off after a moment. Janet didn't want him to reject her. What if she told him she was in love with him, but he still decided to board that plane? There was still time for him to do so. Maybe she should wait until it had taken off and then tell him the truth; then he would be stranded here and would be forced to go home with her to Santa Monica. But as Janet gazed up at him and saw the love pouring out of his eyes she swallowed hard, that was his love that belonged to her. He deserved to know the truth. Not later. But now.

"I came for you Jack," she began softly, her voice no more than a mouse's whisper. "I came to bring you home."

Jack shook his head, "we discussed this Janet; we talked about it just this morning. I'm not coming back to Santa Monica with you. I need to do what's best for both of us, and that's going to Fullerton."

"No it's not," Janet told him sternly, feeling her confidence begin to build. "What do you think moving away is going to solve? You'll just be running away from your problems. I know I used to always tell you that I'd have your back no matter which choices you choose, but this is the dumbest decision you've ever made. I'm not going to stand by and watch you ruin your life."

"It's my life Janet, I can do what I want," he shot back quickly.

Janet shook her head from side to side in disagreement as fresh tears whelmed up in her eyes. "No, you can't, because it's not just your own life you'd be ruining… it'd be mine too," she told him slowly, curling her fingers gently on the collar of his shirt. "I just realized today when I watched you get in that car and drive away that there was no other person I'd rather spend all my time with. No one else who could ever make me feel the way you make me feel. I look at you, and I think: fulfillment, because you complete me, Jack. You were right all along, we can work this out, because bottom line: I need you." Janet paused as she reached up with trembling fingers and placed her hand gently on Jack's cheek. "Don't leave me. Come back to Santa Monica, because that's where your home is, not in Fullerton. Your home's in apartment 201; and my home is wherever you are. Jack, you told me that you didn't want to hurt me; you wanted me to be happy… well if that's the truth then don't you ever leave, because being with you makes me happy. Don't go."

Jack glanced at her up and down, his carried gaze examining her carefully and with a deep sense of seriousness. Abruptly, his eyes stopped at her waist and she glanced down at herself to see what had grabbed his attention. It was the white piece of an envelope that stuck out of her side pocket: his letter. Jack frowned as he reached forward, grasping the top of the paper delicately with his thumb and his index, and wriggled it tenderly out of her jean pocket. He held it in front of him as if it was a strange object written by someone other than himself. "You weren't supposed to read it yet," he whispered, "I was hoping that you'd find it when you went back to the apartment."

"Why?" Janet demanded in a slightly convicting tone. "Did you want me to find it once you knew there was no chance of me ever seeing you again? Do you honestly think that letter is the only reason I'm standing here?" She watched as Jack stared at her silently. Janet couldn't read him, couldn't tell what he was thinking because his face remained emotionless and hard like a brick wall. But she knew what she was thinking, and she voiced her thoughts aloud… "I love you Jack Tripper, more than I've ever loved someone before, and probably ever will again… there I said it. That letter was sweet and sincere, and it showed me just how much you care, but that's not what made me run after you. I'm here because I love you, and now that I realized that Jack… the only thing left to be afraid of is to lose you. That's why I'm here. And letter or not I'd still be standing here admitting that… because it's the truth. Never leave me."

Janet wanted to see the look in his eyes as he absorbed her words, sucking in the meaning like a sponge. She wished she could've seen the realization on his features as the truth hit him. She yearned to have been able to see the corners of his lip pull upwards as he finally heard the truth that they had both needed to hear for so long. But she didn't. Janet never had a chance to observe his reaction carefully, for the split second after she stopped talking Jack swept her up like a cat snatching a mouse, and without a moment of hesitation, crushed her mouth with his own. Janet, who didn't quite understand what had just happened, found her eyes fluttering shut. Maybe she'd never get to see his first facial expression to her confession, but in her opinion this was much better.

Indeed, anyone could vouch that the Indianapolis International Airport had never seen such drama. For here was a guy who had chosen to leave the love of his life so that he wouldn't be able to hurt her any longer. And here was his love, defying security and authorities so that she could tell him that she needed him. It was real, almost portraying the fragility and honesty of human emotions as well as Shakespear's Romeo and Juliet. The people who hadn't boarded the plane yet and had watched the scene behind the other side of the glass wall in gate nineteen had just watched one of the greatest acts of commitment many of them would ever see again.

The older woman, whom Jack had dumped his bag on, fixed her pink flowered hat with shaky fingers and smiled as she gazed at the two young adults on the other side of the glass. Her twinkling keen eyes watered for she knew real love when she saw it, and the young troubled man whom she enquired about earlier had found it. Her concern for him vanished; there was no reason for her to fret about him any longer. The wide-eyed, raven haired girl in his arms had probably caused his pain, but in seconds had just fixed it. And the frail lady could tell by the way the sandy headed man kissed that girl that the girl would never break his heart, or her own for that matter, again.

She liked this, Janet decided as Jack held her tight, and that's why she loved him. She liked the way he made her feel, like suddenly everything was possible in the world. She cupped his cheeks in her hands as her lips roamed his; this was how it was supposed to be. Janet recalled dreaming about a charming prince when she was younger, one that would gallop up to her on some mighty steed and whisk her away to faraway lands and mystical adventures. Jack wasn't any of those things, he wasn't her perfect prince, he was a flawed man who made mistakes and who sometimes unknowingly hurt her, but she loved his flaws, almost as much as she loved all his good qualities. He wasn't her prince. Princes, she had learned, were overrated. Jack was her clumsy, sensitive, caring, devoted, and laughable clown, someone who could make her giggle and touch her heart all at the same moment. He was, in a cheesy way, her personal court jester.

Jack kept his arms around her, not wanting her to pull away, but it wasn't as if she had plans to willingly let go of him anytime soon. In his right hand was the letter he had written for her still clenched in his fingers, she could feel the crinkle of the paper against her back as Jack refused to let go of either her or his letter. His mouth was soft and warm, making Janet sigh into it as his fingers brushed the hair away from her face gently.

The long drawn out ring of the intercom rang suddenly in her ears. Jack ignored it completely and continued to kiss her senseless, she wasn't sure that she would even be able to see straight if she opened her eyes.

"Final call for flight 697 to Fullerton," the computerized voice announced loudly, as the words blared from the P.A system somewhere above their heads. "All passengers should now be on board."

Jack pried away from her as the intercom disconnected, and Janet stared at him in confusion. She watched as he glanced at gate nineteen on the other side of the glass. All the people were gone now, they had boarded the plane, and Janet immediately understood what he was thinking. He was going to leave too. Janet's hopes came crashing to the ground, she knew that look in his eyes, it was the look that told her he was about to do something important, she could tell that much from the solemn shine in them. _Jack's going to board that plane, _she whispered inwardly, _this was just a goodbye kiss… he's still leaving me. _"Jack…" Janet mumbled, but trailed off as she stared helplessly as he reached for his jacket pocket. He pulled out a shiny, laminated rectangular slip of paper, it was his plane ticket.

Holding it in his hand, Jack glanced from the ticket to her face and then back down at the ticket. "You know I love you," Jack said slowly in that simple voice of his that wasn't at all unique, but was still the only voice that could make her knees wobble unstably. "And they say that love is blind, but my eyes are wide open Janet and I still love you. You're the only person who knows me. I'm not perfect and neither are you, but I want the chance to care for you… faults and all. We're two very different people and there'll be fights, that's a given… but I promise that when you cry I will always be there to hold you. And when you smile I'll smile back, but most importantly… when you say, "never leave me", like you just did, I'll say…"I won't"." And with that Janet Wood stared in disbelief as Jack took his ticket with confident fingers and tore it straight down the middle. The clear sound of the tearing paper seemed to seal his promise; Jack let go of the two separate halves and they watched together as they fluttered and twirled to the ground, lying worthlessly at their feet.

Janet glanced back up at Jack, her mouth parted with incredulity. No one had ever told her that they were in this for good, no man ever said that they had found what they had been searching for in her; she had never been good enough for anyone. And in return, Janet hadn't ever thought about spending her life with anyone she had ever gone out with. It was like a rule of science, but there was always an exception to any type of science. Jack was her exception. For once in her life as she stepped closer to him, and wrapped her arms around him in shock, she truly believed in love. She gazed upwards into his bright eyes, eyes that were in love with her, and then let her gaze snap down to his lips. Janet smiled softly and bewilderedly as she leaned in to kiss him. It was the first time she had ever been the one to make the first move and she felt in control of the situation. Somehow his arms ended up holding her, and after a moment she pulled back slightly. "I'm afraid," Janet whispered as she pressed her cheek against his, eyes still closed.

"Me too," Jack murmured, and his sheer honesty and vulnerability snagged her heart and caught her completely off guard. With a tender touch Janet laid both hands on the sides of his cheeks, feeling the tiniest hint of stubble beneath her fingertips, and guided his lips back to hers again. He was gentle and the way he moved his mouth cautiously against hers told her just how serious he was about all this; he was filled with commitment, love, trust, hope and compassion. All were things that made her heart pump extra loud in her chest.

The loud and ever so obviously intended grunt broke Janet and Jack apart as they both looked around to find the two security guards still standing there. The men shifted awkwardly feet away from them and out of the corner of her eye she could see Jack break out into a wide smirk at the sight of their embarrassed stance. Janet blushed, she had completely forgotten about them.

"I apologize Sir," the stocky one said bumblingly, "but we're going to have to ask you and your… lady friend to replace yourselves elsewhere. Flight 697 has departed and gate nineteen has to be prepped for the next incoming flight."

Jack grinned, "Yeah, sure." He sprinted and snatched his backpack from off the ground where he had dumped it before, the old lady was gone, she had boarded her flight, but Jack had already forgotten about her. Returning back to Janet's side, he reached out for her hand, which she gratefully accepted, "umm, do you mind pointing us in the direction of the ticket booth? I need to book a seat for the next plane to Santa Monica."

He said the words in such a natural way that Janet beamed with happiness. He was coming home. The guards nodded to Jack and began to march off down the hallway, he followed close behind, but just a few steps slower so that he could still keep his hold on her. Janet leaned into him as they walked, her head a little fuzzy and heavy, but her heart as light as if it were floating somewhere in the clouds.

_**Lights will guide you home, **_

_**and ignite your bones, **_

_**and I will try to fix you… **_

_::_

**Lyrics from this chapter are from the song "Fix You" by Coldplay. **

_Only those things are beautiful_

_which are inspired by madness_

_and written by reason._

**~ Andre Gaide **

_**My heart went into this chapter, so if you could find it in yourself to review i'd love to hear what you have to say. Thank you.**_


	16. Epilogue: Friends And Lovers

**I remember last year around this time when the idea for this story got the best of me and I found myself at the computer writing the first chapter late into the night. I guess I'm a slow writer, since it took a year to finally complete, but it's done now. So this is it peeps, the 'epilogue', the frosting on the cake (yeah... I'm bad with metaphors and all that stuff). But here we are, and in Jack's words: "It's been one heck of a ride, kid." Thank you once again for taking the time to read this, my goal was to inspire at least one person, I hope I did that. And if not, well then I'll try harder next time I write a fic. **

**I'd like to take the time... no, I _NEED _to take the time and thank God for all He's done for me. Not just in the writing department and allowing me to have the experience writing this, but in all aspects of life. Family, friends,... (cough) boyfriend... (cough), and even school you've been working inside me throughout it all. Now, I know that this story isn't really focused on you at all in hardly any way, and that's my biggest regret. Someday, Lord I want to use the ability I have to glorify you, if that is part of your will for my life then I'd be more than happy to do it, actually I'd be grateful. You are the potter, I'm the clay. Mold me, Jesus, I want to be different than this world. Thank you. Amen. **

**Okay peeps, enjoy this one. I'm sorry for the person who reviewed and asked me to make this longer and to make a sequel. Sorry person, but this is the end. I've already over did my welcome with sixteen chapters, anymore and I think I really would go insane. But yeah, Jack and Janet's story is finished, I had fun writing about them, really I did, but everyone needs an ending and this is theirs. It also is an ending to a chapter in my life as well. Finished, Completed, time to move on and not look back. But dear person who reviewed, if you ever wrote a fic about JJ, then I'd love to read and review. **

**If you guys take away at least one thing from all of this please just remember this: never be afraid to love. Love with maturity, and honesty, and joy, and patience, and faithfulness. But never fear to love someone. **

**You are all blessed! **

**~ C.A **

Epilogue: Friends And Lovers

_Being __**bound **__to someone is to be tied to that person, _

_to never want to exist without their presence._

_It is when you are ready, committed, and matured enough _

_that God taps you on the shoulder and says _

"_You asked for another human soul to share your life with, so here you go." _

_And hands you someone who, whether you knew them before or not, _

_suddenly means more to you than you could've ever imagine. _

_And, just like that, you are __**bound **__to them. _

_Forever. _

_**~ Caris August **_

_::_

"I'll race you up the stairs," he announced.

Janet turned to look at Jack as he grinned wildly at her with a smile that was somehow both goofy and elegant at the same time. The plane ticket had been booked, and with help from the security guards they had been escorted to the 12:30 plane to Santa Monica. The ride was smooth, no turbulence, no in-your-face stewardesses, no screaming children; not that Jack or Janet would have noticed any of that. They had been completely and utterly focused on only each other. With her head resting easily on his shoulder they had talked the whole plane ride away. Sometimes the subjects they broached were just silly and unimportant chatter, but most of the time they were very serious. They talked about the trip, about Ruth and Janet's now stable (for the first time in many a year) relationship, and the brand spanking new but long time coming relationship they were now in.

Jack had told her confidently that he was 'in this' for good. There was no turning back, and Janet readily agreed with that even though both also confided that it wouldn't be easy. 'There's a bumpy road up ahead,' Jack had reasoned to her, 'but I think our truck has enough shock springs to make it through.'

And now, here they were, standing with two bulky suitcases in front of the rusting blue-railed staircase that led to the second floor of Ralph Furley's shabby apartment complex. It was a comforting scene, so familiar and so important to the both of them. Memories washed through Janet's head from times past that her and Jack had shared with all the roommates, and a small sigh escaped her lips as a sense of homecoming overwhelmed her.

"C'mon, race me," Jack poked her arm gently, "I'll go easy on you. Even let you have a three second head start."

She smirked and repositioned her tattered suitcase in her right hand. "I don't need any head starts Mr. Tripper, I could beat you blindfolded!" she teased as she shrugged, "… but since you offered!" And with that she took off in a rush of giggles, as she flew up the stairs.

It took a moment for Jack to comprehend that the race had started and he was indeed quite far behind before a laugh escaped him and he bolted off after Janet. The bounding of feet made her shrills grow louder as she felt Jack gaining on her, two steps at a time. They both conquered the stairs head in head, and Janet grabbed Jack's arm as they ran down the hall of apartment doors, trying to slow him down. Rounding a corner, they nearly swiped a stricken Ralf Furley right off his feet.

"What the-" Ralf exclaimed with a shout as he pressed himself against the wall to avoid being trampled. Jack and Janet pounded on, ignoring their landlord's yelp as the final stretch in their race came in sight. "The kids are home," Furley said tersely, as he shook his head and fingered his plaid coloured ascot.

_Almost there!_ Janet exclaimed inwardly as she counted the numbers on the doors. 198… 199… 200… Suddenly, Jack grabbed her around the waist and stopped on a dime five feet away from their door. "Jack!" she yelled between breaths and chuckles "I was about to win!"

As Janet squirmed against him he took her by the shoulders and pressed a quick chaste kiss on her mouth, effectively making her cease her fighting in a matter of moments. Pulling away, Janet smiled hugely, her eyes wide and happy and anything but lifeless. "I can't believe it," Jack said smugly, tugging playfully on the bottom of her ear with two fingers, "my girlfriends' a cheater!"

Janet formed a perfect 'O' with her lips in mock offensiveness, reaching up to mess with his straight sandy hair. "You said I could have a head start!"

"You must've heard me wrong."

With a huff and a smile, Janet reluctantly pulled away from him; she fixed the wrinkles on her shirt and picked up her suitcase from where it had dropped because of Jack's unexpected embrace. "Let's go Jack," she told him, taking his hand slightly awkwardly. It was hard to go to this from being friends for so long… but it was a good type of change, the best kind. "We have a roommate who's probably gone crazy without us."

"I'll bet you five bucks that the first thing she'll do is run over and tell us how much she missed us." Jack responded as they covered the remaining distance to apartment 201.

Janet smiled, "Betting is for gamblers." She grabbed the doorknob, but was stopped as Jack wrapped his fingers over top of hers, preventing her from opening the door. She glanced up at him in confusion. Jack rubbed the back of his neck. "Jan, you don't think that Terri will mind the two us… well, I mean she won't get mad that we're… you know…"

"That we're together?" Janet finished questioningly, noticing by the look in his eyes that he was really worried about their friend's reaction.

Jack nodded. "It's not that it would make a difference," he told her comfortingly, "I will still love you no matter what… it's just Terri's important to both of us, and if she gets upset…"

"I think it'll be fine Jack," Janet interrupted gently, remembering her talk with Terri from Indiana in that cramped closet_. "What could Jack and I ever have together, Ter?" Janet questioned nervously… "Something that can last," Terri said confidently, "He's never left you Janet, and I don't think he ever will." _Janet smiled. "Terri loves us… she'll understand."

After a long moment Jack nodded with a bit of hesitation, and released his grip on her hand. He motioned for her to open the door and with a last glance at him she turned the knob, and pushed it open.

There were squeals as Janet and Jack poked their heads through the door, and before she could even take a chance to look around Janet was being tackled by a giddy blond head of hair. Janet laughed, mind reeling, and hugged Terri with all the strength she could muster. But she noticed after a moment… it wasn't Terri's blond hair, this hair was even more bleach blond than Terri's and didn't have her random pieces of brown. Janet leaned back and examined exactly who was holding her and as she did her jaw dropped. "Chrissie…?" she asked in disbelief, the bottom half of her mouth hanging down to the floor in shock.

A loud snort escaped from Chrissie's silly ever-grinning face, her eyes were that brightly flecked baby blue with the tiniest bit of laugh lines around the rims, causing Janet to truly believe that it really was her old bubble-headed roommate standing there in font of her. As innocent and as naïve as ever. "Hey Janet!" she said giddily, in her high pitched Barbie-like voice that matched her equally Barbie-like figure.

"Chrissie…" she mumbled again, utterly confounded. Chrissie was in her apartment. Janet glanced over at Jack who was in the midst of smiling and looking surprised at the same time. She scratched her head as she tried to make sense of it all. "How… what, errr… what are you doing here?"

"This is the first time I've seen you in over three years and all you can say is that?" Chrissie asked seriously, but still maintaining her always-present smile. She rolled her eyes, "We made a surprise visit! We missed you guys too much to stay away any longer!"

Janet shook her head, "We?" That's when she noticed the other two girls who were positioned over by the end of the couch, they were out of the way so that Chrissie could have her moment, but both were wearing grins too. Terri winked and waved at Janet, and Cindy had her hands on her hips with her eyes shining… wait a minute…. Cindy? "Cindy?" Janet managed, just as shocked as before and placed a hand over her mouth as if trying to contain some of her understanding before it drained out so she could eventually make sense out of all this.

Cindy took Janet's squeal as her queue and hustled over to her with wide open arms. "Hiya Jan!" she shouted, enveloping Janet in another hug and literally lifting her off her feet in excitement. Janet let out an involuntary yelp, causing Cindy to ease her back to the ground. "It's so great to see you again!"

"… It's great to see you too Cindy," Janet mumbled, at a loss for words. She glanced from Cindy to Chrissie and from Chrissie back to Cindy, examining the two girls. Her roommates had returned and were standing in her doorway… "Y-you're Chrissie and Cindy…!" Janet finally announced aloud with excitement, the initial shock fading away, and now just pure happiness was left to take its place. They were a family! Janet, Jack, Chrissie, Cindy, and Terri: finally all reunited again.

Jack chuckled at Janet's delayed response. "She's always been a bit slow about these kind of things," he said, patting her teasingly on the head before Chrissie ploughed over to him and chucked herself at him, throwing her arms around him.

"Don't think I forgot about you!" Chrissie exclaimed, giving him a friendly peck on the cheek. "Gosh Jack, I missed you both like crazy!"

"Where would you be without us Mrs. Snow?" he enquired playfully.

"I'll tell you where I'd be," Chrissie said, eyes as big as saucers and dead serious. "I'd be back in Fresno with Mom and Daddy, helping Aunt Bertha make tuna casserole for Tuna Fest and picking mint leaves for Uncle Stanley's famous Minty Tuna Cupcakes with butter-cream frosting. I'd be plucking a duck and pickling pig feet for the big party next week and putting up with Homely Darrel as he follows me everywheres I go. I think he's the ugliest thing I've ever laid eyes on!"

Cindy laughed as Chrissie brought up 'Homely Darrel', and the two cousins shared a knowing glance. "That's not very nice Chrissie," Janet told her playing the mother role as usual as she walked over to Terri and wrapped an arm around her, giving her a side hug, which Terri returned to Janet with a squeeze and a smile. "I hope you don't call him Homely Darrel to his face!"

Chrissie huffed. "Of course I do! Look! I have a picture to prove that he's homely." She ran into the girls' room and came back minutes later with a folded image which she unfurled and set in front of Janet's nose. Janet frowned at the photo and snatched it up so she could gaze at it closer.

"This is a picture of a goat!" she exclaimed, tilting it slightly so Terri could see as well the body of a grey one-horned beast chewing on grass in a green field.

"Darrel IS a goat!" Chrissie rolled her eyes.

Jack laughed, "See Jan, you have to stop jumping to conclusions!"

Janet smirked and handed the image of Darrel back to Chrissie and watched as she folded it and placed it in her pocket, patting it fondly. "No one told me he was an animal," Janet retorted as Cindy chuckled and Jack winked at her, making her cheeks turn rosy and flushed.

Terri raised her hands in the air, glancing at her two returned roommates. "So? Did you have a good time?" The question, Janet noticed, was double-sided with meaning; _'have you guys finally worked everything out? _is what it really meant. Terri's eyes twinkled with anticipation, and as Janet looked around she realized that so did Chrissie's and Cindy's. _Terri told them! _Janet thought inwardly feeling suddenly like she was a deer caught in a bright blinding pair of headlights. She didn't know what to say. Did she tell them that her and Jack were together? Did she inform them that after one week in Indiana they had decided to risk their friendship and everything they had… because they loved each other?

But then Janet felt a reassuring arm wrap itself around her waist and all fear vanished. She snuck a look at Jack to see that he was gazing intently at the other three girls, that handsomely goofy grin plastered on his face, and suddenly Chrissie's, Cindy's, and Terri's inquisitive features didn't seem quite as frightening to her. "We had a great time," Jack informed them, causing each one to share a knowing glance with the other two.

"Tell us about it!" Cindy exclaimed, circling the couch and flopping down onto it, followed by Chrissie and Terri.

"Move over then…" Janet said with a ghost of a smile, motioning for them to shove over and give her and Jack room. They willingly did, and somehow all five adults managed to seat themselves on the old worn polka dotted sofa. It was crammed and squishy, but it was nice. _Together again… _Janet pondered for the second time since she walked through the door.

Chrissie was squirming as she tried to find a comfortable position, elbowing Cindy and Terri both in the gut. Finally she fell still and sighed happily. "As snug as a bug in a rug!" she announced, and then snorted loudly. Janet rolled her eyes playfully and shared a small grin with Terri.

"So," Cindy started, shifting so that she could look over at Jack and Janet from the other side of the couch, she gazed at them imploringly. "How was Indiana?" Chrissie and Terri turned to stare at them as well, their eyebrows raised in expectation. Janet knew what they wanted to hear… and frankly, it had nothing to do with the trip itself, but she resisted the urge of answering them and decided to play along.

"Indiana was beautiful," she told them as Jack nodded in agreement beside her. "And it was great to see everyone again."

Terri smiled, "how's your family?"

"They're fine," Jack said, answering Terri's question before Janet could. "Did you know that Janet has triplet brothers?" Jack asked them, ignoring her flushed glare.

"What?" Chrissie demanded, glancing at Janet for confirmation on that, Janet bit her lip but nodded her head up and down slowly. "You never told me that!"

"Me either," Cindy threw in.

Terri crossed her arms over her chest, "I believe that applies to me as well."

"Well at least you didn't go the whole way to Indiana expecting to see your friend's brother and end up with three." Jack told them, his voice as serious as ever, but there was the trace of a smile on his face. Janet had felt terrible about the way he had found out about her family, heck, she _still _felt terrible, and she turned her gaze down to her hands with a bit of shame. But Jack put a single hand on her arm comfortingly and she knew by the way his thumb rubbed her skin that he wasn't dwelling on it anymore. He hadn't brought it up for some kind of revenge; he had brought it up so that Chrissie, Cindy, and Terri wouldn't have to be in the dark any longer like he had been. Jack had said it to get it out of the way and over and done with, and for that Janet was thankful.

"You let Jack find out on his own?" Cindy asked, slightly taken aback.

She knew Jack noticed her wince at Cindy's words and he shrugged at the three girls, letting them see that it didn't bother him anymore. "I know now." And that was all he said… and all that really needed to be said. He knew the truth now; that was all that mattered.

_::_

Jack watched from his place on the sofa next to her as Janet answered the three girls' many questions as best she could. She described Indiana, the house, her family (all of it!), and even the events that occurred over the last week which included the retelling of her and her mother's vendetta against each other and how they finally just managed to find forgiveness and receive some closure. Jack put in a word or two whenever he noticed Jan struggling to recall exactly the order of different events, but even then he didn't say much. He felt that this was Janet's story, not his; and she was the only one who deserved to tell it because she was the protagonist, and he was simply a supportive character. She told everything truthfully, and Jack felt a glimmer of pride at the fact that she didn't twist the truth when talking about her mother; she didn't make her mother sound like the only bad guy, because Jack knew that Janet understood that she too had played her own role as villain.

Terri, Chrissie, and Cindy listened carefully and quietly, like three little mice without making a peep. They all sat there staring at Janet wide-eyed, lapping up every word that fell from her lips for this was the most she had ever shared about herself to any of them and they didn't want to miss a thing. But Jack noticed something as Janet spoke and that was that she left out a certain part of the story that meant a lot to him, and hopefully a lot to her, and that was the part about _them_. She didn't say about jumping around each others' feelings, she didn't mention about watching the stars, and she completely skipped the part about him leaving and her running through the airport to get him back. That part was ignored and breezed over as if it didn't happen at all.

"… and that was our trip," Janet said slightly out of breath as she finished talking and leaned back to take a breather. Silence reigned as the three girls all pondered and contemplated Janet's tale, and Jack sat still, not wanting to be the one to disrupt the quiet.

Terri tapped her chin thoughtfully, and Jack couldn't help but notice that she didn't look at all satisfied. "So…" she stated, making eye contact with Janet once again, "that's great and all, but what about you two?"

"What about us?" Janet questioned back, her voice smooth and casual, but her eyes anxious and… scared. Jack smirked at Janet being so torn, and couldn't understand why even now she was trying to hide the truth.

Suddenly, Chrissie popped back into the conversation with an aggravated huff as she placed her hands on her hips, this time avoiding elbowing Terri or Cindy. "Don't play stupid with me Janet, I'm better at it! Are you together or are you not?" she asked loudly and simply, pointing back and forth between them.

Janet looked taken aback, but honestly Jack felt a sense of relief… _Finally, _he thought, and to answer Chrissie's bland question he deliberately stretched his arm out and wrapped it securely around Janet, draping it over her shoulders. He leaned in and kissed her cheek softly, causing Janet's eyes to glaze over just the tiniest bit as she blushed unwillingly and relaxed against him. Three pairs of bright blue eyes widened so that they looked like they were going to go flying out of their skulls, and blond eyebrows raised all around. "AWWWWWWW!" Chrissie exclaimed, the first and only one to react.

"It's about time," Terri mused dryly after a moment, exchanging a cheerful grin with Janet who was now turning the color of a ripe mackintosh apple. "We've been waiting on you two for what seems like forever."

"No," Chrissie corrected matter of factly, "It's only been seven years."

Everyone smiled at Chrissie's bubble-headedness and then Cindy looked down at her hands, fumbling with her long fingers in confusion. Before Jack could react, Janet had already lurched forwards as she placed a hand over Cindy's. Her eyes gazed at her young friend gently and comfortingly, they never once left her face. "What's wrong?" Janet asked softly, in such a selfless way that made Jack's stomach churn with pride. He loved the concern she held for others, he loved her, especially at that moment as she waited for Cindy to respond.

"It's just…" Cindy tried, pausing as she looked around at her friends faces, "it's just that this is different. It's a different dynamic you guys are throwing into the equation; you and Jack being together and all, and… well I don't want anyone to get hurt." Her speckled blue eyes searched Janet. "I love both of you, all three of us do, and I don't want you two to end up hurtin' each other. I know you guys know what you're getting into… but are you sure you're makin' the right decision. Gosh, now I sound like my mom… Just promise me you two are ready for this, okay?"

Jack had never really contemplated just how wise Cindy was beyond her years. She was the youngest roommate by age, that was unchangeable, but mentally and emotionally she was almost as complex as Janet. Almost. And Cindy had always been instinctively hesitant, as the moment proved to be true. However, she had a valid point. Were Janet and himself truthfully ready for a relationship? Would they be able to whether whatever obstacle was thrown into their path, would they have the strength to always see past their differences, not just at this particular moment. Would he still love Janet when they were forty and when their bodies' best years had passed? Would he want to hold her even when they were eighty-eight and sometimes felt that there was nothing else to live for? Although, perhaps the most important question was: would **she **still love **him**?

Yes she would. Her eyes told him that as Jack bit his lip and glanced over at Janet. She would change, her hair would someday start to gray, her skin start to wrinkle, her strength start to fade, but as long as she would always be able to look at him as she was looking at him now, with all that hope , dependence, and love, he knew he could always love her. The one thing of hers that he never wanted to change was the one thing that he was sure never would, and that was her eyes. Janet's eyes would always be the same big, almond coloured, doe eyes he was looking at now. The same color, the same twinkle… the same sense of homecoming. And if those two features of hers stayed the same, then it didn't really matter what else changed, because when he looked into Janet's eyes he could see her heart, and her heart was where her soul was, and her soul… her soul was where her whole being lied.

"I'm ready," Jack whispered firmly, gaze never trailing away from Janet's face.

He saw the hint of a smile brush over her lips. "Then so am I."

Cindy breathed a sigh of relief, and relaxed again against the back of the couch. "Thank goodness," she mumbled, reaching over to pat Janet gently on the hand and give Jack a friendly shove. "Well, if you're sure about this then I'm with you all the way."

"You two are adorable," Terri said dreamily as she watched Jack give Janet's shoulders a quick affectionate squeeze.

"You two are making me sick," Chrissie stated simply with another snort and grin. "Nah, actually I just want an excuse to get some coffee." And then she disappeared through the swinging door and somewhere into the kitchen, clapping her hands and humming happily to herself as she went.

Beside him, Janet shook her head from side to side. "Good old Chrissie," she said, pulling her legs up under her, "she's the only thing around here that will never change."

"Never ever," Cindy agreed, and then she stood, smiled at Janet, winked at Jack and followed Chrissie out into the kitchen. "Mhm, maybe coffee isn't such a bad idea."

This left the three present roommates alone on the sofa, Terri on one end and Janet and Jack on the other. Terri quickly shifted and hopped over next to Janet so that they were all somehow crammed into one end of the couch. Jack winced as his ribs were crushed against the armrest, "how about someone sits in the chair or something?" He pointed to the orange stubby chair over in the far corner.

Janet shoved him gently with her shoulder. "Don't be such a baby, there's plenty of room here."

"Jan's right; pull yourself together Jacky-Boy," Terri smirked as she squished them all even more closely together and leaned her head against Janet's shoulder.

Jack looked down at the two girls and smiled, before glancing back up and letting his eyes dart around the apartment. Apartment 201, where everything was so familiar to him; the leafy green plant sitting next to it's bulky phone counterpart, the step that you had to had to take right before you reached the middle of the room, the long drapes hanging over the window that never seemed to open, and the polka-dotted sofa where they now sat which was worn and sagging with age but still managed to serve its purpose. All these things put together formed the one place where Jack felt secure, where the love and friendship they all shared radiated off the walls. This was the place where they argued, the place where they forgave, the place where they lived. This was home.

"Home sweet home," Jack mumbled aloud into the silence they had all fallen comfortably into. Terri grinned up at him from where she laid on Janet's shoulder, and Janet peered over at him from where she was pressed up against his right side.

"A house is made of walls and beams, a home is built with love and dreams," Terri quoted slowly.

Janet grinned over at her, "where'd you get that from?" Jack felt equally as puzzled, he had never seen Terri quote anything in her life.

"Actually, I've been doing quite a bit of reading lately."

Janet and Jack's eyes bugged out of their skulls like two beings who had just heard that a flood was coming. "You've been… _reading_?" Janet demanded. "Terri, you never read!"

Terri shrugged, "yeah, well there wasn't much to do when you guys were gone so I improvised."

"Are you sure you're not just talking about reading the funnies in the newspaper each morning?" Jack asked with a smirk, which resulted in another gab from Janet.

"It wasn't the Funnies!" Terri said, her eyes narrowing.

Jack nodded, "well, what did you read then?"

Terri bit her lip as she tried to recall, and held out her fingers as she listed them. "There was…. Tom Sawyer, some Jules Verne, Little House On The Prairie, Pride and Prejudice, and…. Alice In Wonderland."

"You really were bored," Jack muttered.

"Janet," Terri huffed, "give your boyfriend a slug right in the kisser for me please."

Janet smiled, "sorry Ter, I'm too soft for that."

"Darn you Tripper for having a good taste in girls," Terri sighed, but her eyes sparkled, letting him know that she was just playing the part and not really mad. She stood up suddenly, yawned and stretched all in the same action, before giving each of them a perky grin. "Well… I smell the coffee beans calling out to me…" Terri inhaled deeply, obviously enjoying the thick coca scent that was overpowering the room from the kitchen.

"You girls are all addicted to that stuff," Jack told her in disbelief.

Janet shook her head, "Not me."

"Honey," Terri said dryly, looking Janet up and down. "If we could all have half the energy you keep stored up in that tiny body of yours, there would be no need for coffee to even exist." Then she sighed and marched into the kitchen. The swinging door hadn't even completely come to a stop before Terri's blond head popped back out again. "Oh and by the way, I'm glad you guys are home," she announced before disappearing once again…. only to pop back out for a third time. "And even though we're all in here, still try to keep things PG… okay? I know it's hard," Terri smirked, ducking back in through the door a final time and just missing the pillow that was aimed for her face that Jack threw at that last comment.

Beside him, Janet chuckled as she laid her head against his shoulder, her raven hair just close enough that it tickled his neck. With the arm that was already wrapped around her shoulders Jack hugged her closer with a low sigh, but it wasn't a discontented sigh… It was a very, very happy and comforted expel of air as he emptied old oxygen from his lungs and breathed in new. Here, on this couch, in apartment 201, in Mr. Furley's dusty old complex, in the bustling town of Santa Monica… was where he belonged. And here, next to him, close enough that he could feel her torso expand as she took another gentle breath was where Janet belonged.

"This is weird," Janet mumbled suddenly, eyes staring ever ahead at the blank television screen. "It's strange to be here with you… after everything that's happened; I have so many memories floating around in my head. I mean, I remember standing over there in my nightgown giving you a hug after you rescued my grandmother's pendant from that pawn shop." She was looking over at the floor right by the bathroom door. "Remember that?" she enquired briefly, glancing up at him with one of those innocent gazes that made the tips of his ears redden.

Jack did remember that. How could he forget after the wild goose chase he had gone through to find that silly little piece of jewellery? Something that Janet had only worn once since then. But then again… the look she had given him when he had reunited her with it sort of made up for it, and if it didn't, then her hug certainly did. "I remember," Jack assured her as he leaned forward slightly to press his lips against her forehead, "and I also remember a certain birthday kiss that took place over by the stove…" His eyebrows rose up and down teasingly.

"Pft!" She snorted loudly, "some birthday kiss! You practically jumped me!"

"I did not; I was just trying to surprise you." They shared a smile at the thought.

Janet reached across his lap and intertwined her fingers with his free hand. "That was our first kiss," she stated, and it sounded like she was saying it more to herself than to him as he watched her ponder it briefly in her head. His mind was immediately drawn back to all that time ago… seven years to be exact. Now it felt so distant that it could be just a memory of someone else that he was watching, like a film being played in his head on a fuzzy screen and many moments skipped over and forgotten.

However, even though there were missing pieces, Jack could still remember Janet perfectly. It was a slightly younger version of Janet, with short cropped hair, and those same big huge almond eyes. Back then she was somehow even more practical than now, and her sarcasm of course was present too. Her actions were graced with defensiveness and timidity, and now Jack new the reason for that was because of her departure from Indiana that had taken place just a short year before. But despite everything her face had shone with innocence and a blazing spark of hope that told him that this girl (for Janet was still a 'girl' at this point) wanted to be loved, and had a great capability to love in return.

Jack remembered her back turned to him as he crept into the kitchen on her first birthday with him living in the apartment. She was checking something in the oven, and he snuck up behind her, making her jump when she finally noticed him. Janet had scolded him for scaring her, until he blamed it on simply wanting to give her a 'birthday kiss'… to which surprisingly, she agreed. So he dipped her back, and being the girl crazy Tripper he had been back then, he kissed her speechless… to which Janet later compared it to 'having someone attack your face' when she recounted the moment to Chrissie. And that was that. Their first kiss… held absolutely no spark whatsoever, because they didn't see each other in the same light they did now, nor did they try to. Back then, Janet and himself were just two kids, trying to live their lives.

Jack smiled at how simple it had been to live like that. So simple.

He was abruptly interrupted by Janet who propped herself upwards on her knees to face him after noticing he was trapped somewhere deep in thought. His gaze never left hers as she placed her two small, smooth hands on either side of his face, her eyes examining him carefully. Jack was boggled at how she could see straight into the recesses of who he was, it made him feel like he had no secrets left to keep… but then again, that wasn't such a terrible thing.

Her thumb ran along his jaw and he watched as she gave him a contagious smile, one that lit up her face. "I was starting to think that someone had finally found your mute button, you were so quiet," Janet told him softly, but still remained quite serious as she stared at him, tilting her head to the side. "What were you thinking about?"

"It was so easy back then Jan, wasn't it?" He asked slowly, his voice hushed by her closeness. Jack could tell by the way she bit her lip that she knew exactly what he was talking about.

She remained silent for a long time, and when she did respond it wasn't the answer he expected to get. Janet leaned forwards and closed her eyes as she placed her lips against his and kissed him. It was so gentle that Jack had to open his eyes briefly just to make sure she was still there. He could barely feel her mouth, but somehow this kiss was even more intoxicating than any before. He reached up and hesitantly put a hand at the back of her neck, the tips of his fingers were just so they were touching the roots of her hair. Janet continued her sweet assault until he truly believed that he had lost his mind, and then just before a muffled moan could escape him she leaned back the tiniest of bit, just enough to separate their lips.

His eyes opened slowly and she was regarding him with the tiniest trace of a smirk. "Still wish for that easy life Mr. Tripper?" she asked quietly, kissing his cheek and letting her breath tickle his ear.

"Never," Jack responded without a moment's thought. Perhaps life had been simple and good… but that was a long time ago, and it had nothing on the present. The present…. that was very much filled with Janet Wood. He brushed a strand of black hair from her face. "I love you Jan," he told her, more serious than he'd felt ever before, he smiled commitedly. "You're never going to be rid of me."

Janet laughed. "What have I gotten myself into?" They both grinned sheepishly at each other. It was nice to be an open book for once as he watched her easily read his facial features yet again, noting how much he had meant it when he said 'you're never going to be rid of me'. _I'm never leaving her_, Jack thought inwardly, _… how could I? _Janet laid back and rested against his shoulder again, completely at ease, completely defenceless. It felt completely right.

She buried her face in his shoulder and let out a muffled groan. At first Jack thought she was hurt until he seen a smile grace her mouth. "Jack", she sighed, wrapping her arms around herself, an action he had seen her do time and time again in the past, "how on earth did this happen?"

He grinned when he realized she was referring to themselves, and this random relationship that had established between them during the past two weeks. "I guess things like this just happen, Janet," he said with a shrug, "and trust me, it wasn't my plan to ever end up with you of all people."

"Hey!" Janet thwapped him aside the head.

"Not that I'm complaining!" Jack piped in, grabbing her arm before she could give him another tiny hit. "It's just I've never thought of you like this before… I suppose my eyes weren't really opened until…." He trailed off, and Janet picked up on that.

"Until?" She enquired.

He sighed. "Remember that day that you were sick and I burnt my foot?"

"Yeah, we were handicapped, so what?" Janet said quickly, obviously not getting it.

"Remember when you fell asleep in my lap?"

He gazed at her playfully as she blushed at the memory. "Kinda…." she put in embarrassedly.

"That was the first time I actually had the chance to look at you and notice how beautiful you really were. Inside and out."

Janet opened her mouth, closed it, and then opened it again as she thought about how to respond. "Jack, that's so…" she began, "…stalker-ish." Jack took his own turn to open his mouth and then shut it silently as he admitted to himself that it was sort of… weird… to stare at your best friend (best friend at the time anyways) while they're sleeping. It was just plain creepy. Janet chuckled at his reaction. "But I'm flattered," she told him, pecking his nose.

Jack tried to think of something that he could say to change the subject, but he didn't have to ponder for long. A question that had been eating at the back of his mind all day finally submerged to the front of his brain. "Oh gosh," he shook his head back and forth slowly, "how am I going to explain all this to Larry?"

Janet laughed, "Actually, I was kind of worried at how we were going to tell The Great R.F."

Jack immediately moaned aloud. "I forgot about M. Furley!"

And of course, with classic timing… the door bell rang. Jack glanced over at Janet, and found that she was looking right back at him. Shock, surprise and a tad bit of humour flicked across her face, and he knew that his expression mimicked hers exactly.

"It can't be…" she breathed, suppressing a giggle from escaping her.

"There's no way," Jack smirked.

"HELLLLOOOOOOOOOO! Anybody home? I've come to get the rent!" Ralf Furley's booming voice resonated through the apartment from where he hollered out on the front door step. The door shuttering as he pounded one of his brittle fists against it.

"Get the door Jack!" Terri's voice came from somewhere in the kitchen, "I've had enough Furley this week."

Jack, in a state of shock remained eye to eye with Janet as her face erupted in a huge grin that stretched ear to ear. "You'd better get the door," she said simply, motioning to the doorway.

He jumped up at her gentle command, took one hesitant step away from the couch, and then turned back quickly. "What do I tell him about us?" he demanded, knowing how nervous he probably looked.

Janet, however was staring up at him coolly and as calm as he'd ever seen her. She gave him a flirty wink. "Whatever you want."

Jack placed a hand in his pocket, suddenly very unsure of himself. "Okay…"

He was on his way to the door when Janet's hand snatched his arm and yanked him back towards her. She was standing now and before he could wrap his head around anything she snaked her arms around his neck and pushed herself up on her tippy-toes to make them level to each other.

"It's going to be fine," Janet muttered, her gaze flickering from his eyes to his mouth, before hastily swallowing the distance between them. Jack, not expecting to defend from another attack on her end, because usually he was the one who'd start anything, let out a strangled, yet joyous noise. He suppose it sounded like "Hffmmmpphh", but whatever it was supposed to mean he couldn't say. Her lips ran against his comfortingly, sending the usual electric shock racing through him as he pulled her closer, still dazed.

However, the voice of M. Furley broke them apart as the door started to rattle once again. "NOW HEAR THIS: YOU PEOPLE BETTER NOT BE IGNORING ME! I know someone's home! So open this damn door!"

"Coming!" Jack shouted hoarsely over his shoulder, still holding Janet tight against him. He turned back to her and grinned dumbly at her, still in a stupor. Janet smiled in return before giving him a light push, stepping out of his embrace.

"I guess we have no choice but to let the poor man in," he sighed teasingly to Janet as she followed behind him. He reached out for the door knob, but stopped short and gave Janet one last look before swinging the door open. He tried to stuff all his feelings into that one gaze… but there were so many that he failed miserably. Still, she looked like she got the main message, and he was reassured of that by the way she responded.

"I love you too, Jack," she told him as warm almond eyes met icy blue. He finally ripped his gaze away from her face and opened the door. And as he did Jack thought right before they came face to face with the short skinny, colourfully dressed landlord that he heard Janet throw in four last words to go with her previous statement.

"_And I always will…" _

_::_

_You can count on me,_

_like: 1,2,3… and I'll be there. _

_**~ Bruno Mars **_

**The End. **


End file.
